Destination Weddings Discussions

Destination wedding

I just recently paid a deposit for a destination wedding in Riviera Maya, Mexico. I told family where I was interested in having the wedding and they were all for it. Now when It’s weeks away from their room deposit due date. Everyone is voicing concerns over safety, why I choose this resort over another, cost, etc. I’ve tried to answer all these concerns & I’m close to just canceling the wedding to avoid to stress. What should I do??  

Re: Destination wedding

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2018
    You have three choices:
    1.  Go through with your wedding plans regardless of how many guests attend.  This is what you would do for an at-home wedding, isn't it?  You do not owe anyone explanations.  If they want to spend the money and attend  your wedding, then they can do that.  If they decided it is too much, then they will stay home.  There are no current travel restrictions near Riviera Maya from the US State Department at this time, though other parts of Mexico have travel warnings.  Mexico is a big country!

    2.  Cancel your destination wedding and re-plan.  Be aware that some people still will not attend.  You can't please everybody.

    3.  Elope.

    PS.  Destination weddings are often VERY unpopular with guests because of all the issues you are now hearing about.  They are very expensive and require passports to attend.  You might want to think about having a small local wedding, and then having your honeymoon at the resort.

    Ditto @ShesSoCold , I hope this is an actual wedding we are talking about, and not a "symbolic" one!  We do see many brides who think it is fine to have a fake wedding reenactment in Mexico.
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  • edited March 2018
    It’s a legal ceremony. The negativity & complaining is a pain in the you know what! & it’s from my side not the groom’s. Sucks when it’s your immediate family that’s making it difficult 
  • Unfortunately that is part and parcel with a DW. You have to go into it knowing people you truly love, and love you, will not attend for various reasons. 

    The moment you you make it more difficult to attend, your guest list is going to plummet. 

    Its rubbish theyre complaining to you, but you chose an inconvenient and expensive wedding. You just have to own it now. 
  • It is a bummer that people who were previously "on board" with the DW are now complaining about it.

    Quite frankly, it's fine if they don't want to go anymore.  Even if they are your nearest and dearest.  But they shouldn't be complaining about it to you.  However, have you all been pressuring them to make the reservations and their complaints are in answer to that?  If that's the case, then their complaints would make sense.  Because they are answering your question as to why they haven't made their reservations.

    For example, my friend's son had a DW in Costa Rica.  When he initially told her that's what he and his FI were thinking about, she was straight up and told him she might not be able to attend if they had a DW.  He was disappointed, but understood.  She was disappointed they weren't getting married locally, but understood.  And that's the kind of flexibility people need when having a DW.  Even your nearest and dearest just may not have the comfort, finances, or time available to attend.

    If it were me and I had my heart set and plans in place for Riviera Maya, then that's where I'd get married.  And whomever could make it, could make it.  And I wouldn't be upset at anyone who couldn't.

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  • No one is really complaining about the price. They all just thought I would have it in the country we’re from and I’m not..so now some just don’t want to come. I agree on if you don’t want to come then don’t. It’s mainly my grandmother whose telling everyone not to come which is pissing me off! I’m trying to remain respectful and not go off. I’m set on having it where I originally picked. Guest had 3 months to pay their deposit.. I’m just hearing the excuses now that the deadline is 1 week away. 
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2018
    No one is really complaining about the price. They all just thought I would have it in the country we’re from and I’m not..so now some just don’t want to come. I agree on if you don’t want to come then don’t. It’s mainly my grandmother whose telling everyone not to come which is pissing me off! I’m trying to remain respectful and not go off. I’m set on having it where I originally picked. Guest had 3 months to pay their deposit.. I’m just hearing the excuses now that the deadline is 1 week away. 
    They do understand that they will need valid passports for Mexico if they are USA/Canadian citizens?

    Sorry this is happening, but it is not unusual for destination weddings.  I would ignore it, and be happy with your guests who will attend.  Destination weddings did not exist in Grandma's day.
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  • I can say we’re in Rivera Maya right now and I understand safety concerns but at least at our resort I don’t feel unsafe at all. 
  • I’m having a DW in Riviera Maya as well. We had two guests (out of 70) who were concerned about safety. I created a “travel letter” and sent it out to everyone. It included information and links to the US State Department and security information about the hotel. I think it helped ease their mind when they saw that the Quintana Roo state had the same warning level as France and Germany. If people are talking about it now it could be for a couple of reasons:
    1) They may have had a change in their financial situation. This could be a saving face situation. Acknowledge and address their concern, but don’t be pushy and if they still don’t want to go just respond that you completely understand and leave it at that. 
    2) They are not well travelled and view America as safe. Be sensitive to their views and never dismissive. Just send them government backed information. If it doesn’t say .gov at the end of the website then I wouldn’t trust it. 
    3) Drugs. I’ve been on a lot of DW sites and usually everyone is cool with traveling unless they have never travelled before or are worried about not being able to find drugs. Don’t pry, just be understanding that it is dangerous for people to buy drugs in Mexico. They could die. It’s not just a one day event. Granny may just be looking out for family members that smoke weed or she could just not trust the US State Department’s ratings. 
    Don’t worry about who can and cannot come. Essentially a DW is an elopement that you invite everyone to. It’s a family/friends vacation where a wedding is the cherry on top instead of a 4 hour event that costs way more for far less time with your guests. Or in our case it’s because almost everyone would be traveling for a wedding so might as well travel someplace with a beach.  Don’t cancel unless you and the groom have concerns. 
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