Monday...

CharmedPam · March 2018

The UK had mother's day this weekend (I think? based on my own FB feed....)

Ditto to what @oliveoilsmom said, @missJeanLouise. Hugs to you!

missJeanLouise · March 2018

Thanks OOM... I both want to talk about it and don’t. I am ashamed I let this happen. I am grieving for life I wanted and now doesn’t seem possible. I feel like I am just being dramatic and like I should just “get over it” but I wake up crying and don’t know how to stop. Basically, I cope by living in denial and hoping it will go away and then I feel horrible for even thinking that way.

kimmiinthemitten · March 2018

@missJeanLouise I ditto what @oliveoilsmom says - we're all here if you need a sounding board. (hugs)

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

@missJeanLouise *hugs* I know in Europe they celebrate Mothers day now. Pregnancy is hard, I definitely feel for you

If you ever wanna DM me, I can listen. I'm on The Bump, and many women there are helpful and suggestions or even just listening.

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

*ignore this - double post apparently $:\$

kimmiinthemitten · March 2018

missJeanLouise said:

Thanks OOM... I both want to talk about it and don’t. I am ashamed I let this happen. I am grieving for life I wanted and now doesn’t seem possible. I feel like I am just being dramatic and like I should just “get over it” but I wake up crying and don’t know how to stop. Basically, I cope by living in denial and hoping it will go away and then I feel horrible for even thinking that way.

It's easy to say you shouldn't feel ashamed for feeling a certain way, but you really shouldn't.

Just know that you are not being dramatic and you have a right to your feelings. Is there a way for your to see a therapist there or even virtually back in the States?

mrsconn23 · March 2018

Oh @missJeanLouise, I am so sorry you're struggling. As much as DefConn was a wanted child, I can tell you that I get it on some level. I'd struggle with same feelings if I were to get pregnant again. ((hugs))

short+sassy · March 2018

@CharmedPam, I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. At least you just saw him a couple months ago.

@missJeanLouise, I am so sorry to hear about the pregnancy you don't want. Especially with your H having different feelings about it. I don't remember you mentioning that you'd started a job. Congrats on that and I hope you like it.

sparklepants41 said:

@OliveOilsMom sending good vibes your mom's way! Hope her surgery goes well!

We have a DOOZY of a storm coming tomorrow - upwards of 18" expected with whiteout conditions throughout the day. Our team was supposed to have professional development meetings tomorrow through Thursday, but looks like that is definitely not happening for at least tomorrow. Our team members who flew in today from CA and FL are going to have a blast weathering the storm from their hotel rooms - snow is always so much more fun when you take away the responsibilities that go with it.

As someone who also fits in that category, I concur! Never lived in it. Never driven in it. Never shoveled it. To me, snow=vacation, novelty, fun, and good times.

Hang in there! For you and the other TKers in the path of more winter storms, I hope the power holds out.

missJeanLouise · March 2018

Thanks everyone. I know it will all be okay in the end...
@kimmiinthemitten I could probably find someone. I just don’t know what they would say... which I guess is why I should go, lol.

kimmiinthemitten · March 2018

missJeanLouise said:

Thanks everyone. I know it will all be okay in the end...
@kimmiinthemitten I could probably find someone. I just don’t know what they would say... which I guess is why I should go, lol.

Worst case scenario is you go/call and nothing changes, so you've lost nothing. Best case is you find an outlet for your feelings.

ShesSoCold · March 2018

short+sassy said:

@CharmedPam, I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. At least you just saw him a couple months ago.
@missJeanLouise, I am so sorry to hear about the pregnancy you don't want. Especially with your H having different feelings about it. I don't remember you mentioning that you'd started a job. Congrats on that and I hope you like it.

sparklepants41 said:

@OliveOilsMom sending good vibes your mom's way! Hope her surgery goes well!

We have a DOOZY of a storm coming tomorrow - upwards of 18" expected with whiteout conditions throughout the day. Our team was supposed to have professional development meetings tomorrow through Thursday, but looks like that is definitely not happening for at least tomorrow. Our team members who flew in today from CA and FL are going to have a blast weathering the storm from their hotel rooms - snow is always so much more fun when you take away the responsibilities that go with it.

As someone who also fits in that category, I concur! Never lived in it. Never driven in it. Never shoveled it. To me, snow=vacation, novelty, fun, and good times.
Hang in there! For you and the other TKers in the path of more winter storms, I hope the power holds out.

In 2015, we went to the Smoky Mountains NP at the end of Feb. They got some snow while we were there (not abnormal) but there was this van load of people from Florida that just stopped on the side of the road to play in the snow. They were making snow angels, throwing snowballs, all adults. I loved it. It was the cutest thing.

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

missJeanLouise said:

Thanks everyone. I know it will all be okay in the end...
@kimmiinthemitten I could probably find someone. I just don’t know what they would say... which I guess is why I should go, lol.

Sometimes not knowing what to say is the best when speaking to someone. It gives your mind a way to run free with thoughts and feelings

short+sassy · March 2018

kimmiinthemitten said:

missJeanLouise said:

Thanks everyone. I know it will all be okay in the end...
@kimmiinthemitten I could probably find someone. I just don’t know what they would say... which I guess is why I should go, lol.

Worst case scenario is you go/call and nothing changes, so you've lost nothing. Best case is you find an outlet for your feelings.

I agree. I'm sure you're overwhelmed with feelings and a therapist can be a safe outlet to talk about them, process them, sort them out, etc.

TrixieJess · March 2018

missJeanLouise said:

Sorry for your loss Pam.
We don’t have DST here and it is great. But I was definitely a persons whose clock was wrong for 6 months. No shame about it.

I was freaking out because places here have been advertising Mother’s Day specials. I was like, Why isn’t FB reminding me of this!?. Turns out some places celebrate it in March... so weird.

I have been going through a rough time because I recently found out I am pregnant. I am pretty devastated tbh and fighting hard not to spiral. DH is thrilled so it makes everything worse.

My birthday is tomorrow. DH and I are going out to dinner. Idk if I mentioned before but I started working and this is the beginning of my second week, I think it is going good and I hope my superiors think so too.

My pregnancy was unexpected, at 35. FI and I were not planning on having children, at all. I was on birth control. A switch in other medications caused my BC to fail and boom, I was pregnant. It was really tough and I didn't enjoy my pregnancy even though it was "easy". I hated being pregnant. I love my son, but occasionally FI and I go through moments of "what could have been".

I understand your feelings. Hopefully you can find your support network. If it wasn't for my friends I wouldn't have been able to have my son and deal with my pregnancy.

OliveOilsMom · March 2018

The surgeon said my mom did very well! She is being closed up by the plastic surgeon now!

ShesSoCold · March 2018

Oh, MJL I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I agree that even though you may not know exactly specifically what you need help with or what to talk about, a therapist may be able to help.

Hugs and vibes.

charlotte989875 · March 2018

I’m sorry @missJeanLouise. I think sometimes if you don’t know what to say to a doctor or therapist the best thing to do is just say it straight (kinda like you did here). I hope you have good doctors there that can help you work through your options.

When I had a scare this summer I was terrified I was pregnant, it would have felt devastating and overwhelming, and even the possibility of pregnancy felt that way. H probably would have been happy, but I wouldn’t have been. I know it’s definitely not the same as what you’re going through but I totally understand the feeling of not wanting to be pregnant because it’s not part of the life you have planned.

missJeanLouise · March 2018

You all are wonderful. Thank you for all the kind words and support.
@OliveOilsMom Gald to hear your mom is doing well!

@ShesSoCold Idk much about the different types of polish. Is No Chip the same as Gel?? B/c gel always peels off my nails, leaving them brittle and weak. My Australian friends were talking about shellac, which they say is better than gel but we can’t get here, and SNS which is like a hardening powder you dip your nail in?? Idk if either of those are in the states but I would do those over gel.

ShesSoCold · March 2018

missJeanLouise said:

You all are wonderful. Thank you for all the kind words and support.
@OliveOilsMom Gald to hear your mom is doing well!

@ShesSoCold Idk much about the different types of polish. Is No Chip the same as Gel?? B/c gel always peels off my nails, leaving them brittle and weak. My Australian friends were talking about shellac, which they say is better than gel but we can’t get here, and SNS which is like a hardening powder you dip your nail in?? Idk if either of those are in the states but I would do those over gel.

I thought no chip = gel = shellac..?

IDK. LOL.

I got talked into the dip once (after telling them I didn't like no chip because it made my nails soft after removal) and the dip was pretty much exactly like acrylics! My nails were nearly dead after that shit came off - there was even the little divot line where it had been. I was so pissed. Especially when I went to have it removed and the girl told me my nails would be soft - bitch this is EXACTLY why I didn't want this shit in the first place!

Sorry. Apparently I'm still upset about this.

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

ShesSoCold said:

missJeanLouise said:

You all are wonderful. Thank you for all the kind words and support.
@OliveOilsMom Gald to hear your mom is doing well!

@ShesSoCold Idk much about the different types of polish. Is No Chip the same as Gel?? B/c gel always peels off my nails, leaving them brittle and weak. My Australian friends were talking about shellac, which they say is better than gel but we can’t get here, and SNS which is like a hardening powder you dip your nail in?? Idk if either of those are in the states but I would do those over gel.

I thought no chip = gel = shellac..?
IDK. LOL.
I got talked into the dip once (after telling them I didn't like no chip because it made my nails soft after removal) and the dip was pretty much exactly like acrylics! My nails were nearly dead after that shit came off - there was even the little divot line where it had been. I was so pissed. Especially when I went to have it removed and the girl told me my nails would be soft - bitch this is EXACTLY why I didn't want this shit in the first place!
Sorry. Apparently I'm still upset about this.

Generally any time you do something on your nail {acrylic, gel, shellac, etc} it'll ruin your nails because they can't breath. Even regular manicure.

How bad depends on your nails.

I had a friend who CONSTANTLY got acrylics and I told her to let her nails breath for 2 months {after having 2yrs of constant fills fyi} and when they did take the nails off, the nail tech told her not to do ANYTHING on her nails {not even simple polish} for 6 months because of how brittle they were!!

ShesSoCold · March 2018

Totally random but I'm dying.

My brother and sister and I got a text from a guy saying he's throwing our stepdad a 60th birthday party. My sister and I were trying to figure out who the guy is and trying to remember names of people. We're like, "Was Brian Wilk the guy who sent us food every week when mom was sick?" "I thought his name was John? John Wilt?" and said, "Well now all I can think of is John Wilkes Booth".

My sister replies with "Figures stepdad would be friends with him".

I'm crying.

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

ShesSoCold said:

Totally random but I'm dying.
My brother and sister and I got a text from a guy saying he's throwing our stepdad a 60th birthday party. My sister and I were trying to figure out who the guy is and trying to remember names of people. We're like, "Was Brian Wilk the guy who sent us food every week when mom was sick?" "I thought his name was John? John Wilt?" and said, "Well now all I can think of is John Wilkes Booth".
My sister replies with "Figures stepdad would be friends with him".
I'm crying.

LMFAO!

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

Funny thing from Saturday.

I was telling M that my BFF and I were joking about things. Her oldest is almost the age where for my bday we ended up finding my dad's porn stash in our basement. {I was 10}

Anyways, conversation continues on about porn {i really don't know where our convos go ....} and then this happens:

M: you know what we should do tonight
Me: ... uhm ... *unsure what to expect*
M: we should get chips and watch a movie
Me; wtf! :') We're talking about porn and you suggest that!?
M: why?
Me: think about it. Throwing that sentence into a porn convo ....
M: Oh. Yeh. Totally different topic. Maybe I should have mentioned that
Me: *crying laughing* just maybe .... I thought you were going to suggest something.
M: Like .... with chips?

Me: *can't talk, crying laughing too much*

banana468 · March 2018

@missJeanLouise I hope you get to talk to someone too. DH and I practice NFP and have for two years and even as a "good Catholic welcoming life" when I think I'm 2 hours later than I thought I start to run scenarios through my head involving furniture rearranging 9 months from then.

I know friends that have been in your position and some who started off being pregnant just not as excited as they thought they'd be. I hope talking to someone or even finding a board of similar moms may help.

sparklepants41 · March 2018

Hugs for you, @missJeanLouise. I'm here if you want a shoulder to lean on. I know you're going through a storm of emotions and I'm sure the hormones associated with pregnancy don't help. Hugs. You're not alone in this.

missJeanLouise · March 2018

Does anyone know of any good forums? I don’t want to roll into a place full of excited, pregnant ladies, and possibly women having difficulty getting pregnant, all “who else got pregnant on accident and feels like throwing themselves over a cliff?” I really don’t want to be insensitive but am having trouble sugar coating things right now, which I am sure will come across even worse online.

On a different note, when should I switch from regular Pilates/ yoga to prenatal? Do I need to do it now or wait till my belly makes doing the normal classes impossible?

GBCK · March 2018

kimmi, if you need more help than the first neurologist you find can help with, MHNI in annarbor is awesome. Costs an arm and a leg (in spite of insurance) but, worth it, IMO.
Migraines suck. (FTR, that would be why I"m posting, while strung out on sedatives, at 2 am)

I spent 8 hours in first aid training with a migraine (no meds, because I needed to focus. also, my inital cert. is 25+ years old. A Lot has changed....), then came home, refused to go to skate night (migraines + roller rink = hell. BT, DT), the Mr. took buffy.
I took my midrin (which is a sedative and pain reliever), slept from 7 to 8, took the next 4 midrin on schedule, and have been WIDE FUCKING AWAKE.
It's 2 am. I didn't sleep last night, and my 'nap' from 7 to 8 is the last I've slept. wheee. tomorrow is gonna suck.

ILoveBeachMusic · March 2018

missJeanLouise said:

Does anyone know of any good forums? I don’t want to roll into a place full of excited, pregnant ladies, and possibly women having difficulty getting pregnant, all “who else got pregnant on accident and feels like throwing themselves over a cliff?” I really don’t want to be insensitive but am having trouble sugar coating things right now, which I am sure will come across even worse online.

On a different note, when should I switch from regular Pilates/ yoga to prenatal? Do I need to do it now or wait till my belly makes doing the normal classes impossible?

STIB DD started prenatal yoga and pilates during second trimester after she started showing which was earlier than usual since she is having twins. Ask the instructor - they are usually certified in prenatal classes- if you haven't been to a doctor yet. Hope you can get your head wrapped around everything. I can't imagine what a shock this is.

GBCK · March 2018

MJL, when I went to my OB's office, the midwife started w/ "is this a wanted pregnancy?" as her question--and went from there--and said she had resources if it wasn't--and I'm guessing she did because she rocked.

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

GBCK said:

MJL, when I went to my OB's office, the midwife started w/ "is this a wanted pregnancy?" as her question--and went from there--and said she had resources if it wasn't--and I'm guessing she did because she rocked.

Mine asked the same thing but different wording.

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