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FH Family PPD Gift

NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi all! 

It's been a while! I can't believe FH and I are a short 20 days away from our wedding day.

I have a quick question about a PPD on my FH side: His cousin has been married since 2016 and we received their STD and wedding invitation for their June wedding and have confirmed yes. We were not invited to his first wedding, so we obviously did not buy a gift. They have a honeymoon fund, an Amazon registry with 3 gifts, and a direct link for Paypal donations. 

I hate giving gift cards and I also hate buying off the registry. Unfortunately, that might be the only option here.

Thoughts?

TYIA
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Re: FH Family PPD Gift

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    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You are kidding right? They've been married since 2016 and are having a PPD? There is no way in hell I would contribute to a honeyfund or a paypal account. Personally I wouldn't even go to the event.
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
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    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    You are kidding right? They've been married since 2016 and are having a PPD? There is no way in hell I would contribute to a honeyfund or a paypal account. Personally I wouldn't even go to the event.
    I know - FI said we would go - so away we go. Do you think it's okay to just give them a card and no gift? 
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    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    NBSquared2017 said:
    Hi all! 

    It's been a while! I can't believe FH and I are a short 20 days away from our wedding day.

    I have a quick question about a PPD on my FH side: His cousin has been married since 2016 and we received their STD and wedding invitation for their June wedding and have confirmed yes. We were not invited to his first wedding, so we obviously did not buy a gift. They have a honeymoon fund, an Amazon registry with 3 gifts, and a direct link for Paypal donations. 

    I hate giving gift cards and I also hate buying off the registry. Unfortunately, that might be the only option here.

    Thoughts?

    TYIA
    Does everyone know they have been married since 2016?

    Honestly, in theory, I would agree with everything @ILoveBeachMusic said.  However, not everything is as easy as that, and you already RSVP'd "yes". Was there an actual wedding when they legally married? 

    I guess if I am attending and receiving a meal, I would gift something small.  I would try very hard to find a tangible gift if at all possible.  Other than that, I would probably gift a gift card to a very generic store, such as Target.  I would never contribute to a honeymoon fund or submit a "donation".  I don't need a middle man to gift cash.
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    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    NBSquared2017 said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    You are kidding right? They've been married since 2016 and are having a PPD? There is no way in hell I would contribute to a honeyfund or a paypal account. Personally I wouldn't even go to the event.
    I know - FI said we would go - so away we go. Do you think it's okay to just give them a card and no gift? 
    I agree with @MobKaz a small gift. Maybe a picture frame or a small gift card. I am appalled at the tackiness of the whole thing - from the PPD to the honeyfund and paypal donation!
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    MobKaz said:
    NBSquared2017 said:
    Hi all! 

    It's been a while! I can't believe FH and I are a short 20 days away from our wedding day.

    I have a quick question about a PPD on my FH side: His cousin has been married since 2016 and we received their STD and wedding invitation for their June wedding and have confirmed yes. We were not invited to his first wedding, so we obviously did not buy a gift. They have a honeymoon fund, an Amazon registry with 3 gifts, and a direct link for Paypal donations. 

    I hate giving gift cards and I also hate buying off the registry. Unfortunately, that might be the only option here.

    Thoughts?

    TYIA
    Does everyone know they have been married since 2016?

    Honestly, in theory, I would agree with everything @ILoveBeachMusic said.  However, not everything is as easy as that, and you already RSVP'd "yes". Was there an actual wedding when they legally married? 

    I guess if I am attending and receiving a meal, I would gift something small.  I would try very hard to find a tangible gift if at all possible.  Other than that, I would probably gift a gift card to a very generic store, such as Target.  I would never contribute to a honeymoon fund or submit a "donation".  I don't need a middle man to gift cash.
    Yes- They were legally married at a park with about 5 people.

    Yes- everyone knows they are married. The initial wedding was a surprise. They posted on FB "surprise we're married" and we did not know they were having another wedding until we received their STD last year.

    They are providing a buffet and a cash bar, so we are being fed - that's why I wanted to get them something as a thank you. I was against going, but I can suck it up for one day. 


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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
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    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    NBSquared2017 said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    You are kidding right? They've been married since 2016 and are having a PPD? There is no way in hell I would contribute to a honeyfund or a paypal account. Personally I wouldn't even go to the event.
    I know - FI said we would go - so away we go. Do you think it's okay to just give them a card and no gift? 
    I agree with @MobKaz a small gift. Maybe a picture frame or a small gift card. I am appalled at the tackiness of the whole thing - from the PPD to the honeyfund and paypal donation!
    Love the picture frame idea! Thank you so much - Target has the Hearth & Hand brand by Chip and Joanna Gaines and they have so many cute options. 

    Thanks ladies - I was thinking about Tupperware ha ha 
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
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    bubblylove said:
    A nice Happy Anniversary picture frame?
    OMG LMAO I legit spit my water out!!!
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    TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    NBSquared2017 said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    You are kidding right? They've been married since 2016 and are having a PPD? There is no way in hell I would contribute to a honeyfund or a paypal account. Personally I wouldn't even go to the event.
    I know - FI said we would go - so away we go. Do you think it's okay to just give them a card and no gift? 
    Yes. 
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    MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Would a picture frame with a picture of money in it be considered on par with this PPD???

    IRL - what I'd probably do is lowest possible thing from the Amazon list or a bottle of Mead from a nearby maker, and not likely to jump over $20 unless they're someone you're SUPER over the top close to which it doesn't sound like you are.  And NWIH would I give cash/paypal, gift card, nor honeymoon fund...  I can handle the Cash Bar but two years after they got married (unless there was a story to go along with it like a deployment, and even then...), SNS - NOPE!
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    MesmrEwe said:
    Would a picture frame with a picture of money in it be considered on par with this PPD???

    IRL - what I'd probably do is lowest possible thing from the Amazon list or a bottle of Mead from a nearby maker, and not likely to jump over $20 unless they're someone you're SUPER over the top close to which it doesn't sound like you are.  And NWIH would I give cash/paypal, gift card, nor honeymoon fund...  I can handle the Cash Bar but two years after they got married (unless there was a story to go along with it like a deployment, and even then...), SNS - NOPE!


    ***STIB***

    There is no story. This is going to sound like MUD, but it's not. They met on Christian mingle and she was a virgin - she did not want to have sex before marriage, so they courted for 3 months and had a park wedding. IMO they hurried up and got married because they wanted to have sex and she did not want to give up her virginity before marriage. 

    Which - to each their own, I suppose. 
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    MesmrEwe said:
    Would a picture frame with a picture of money in it be considered on par with this PPD???

    IRL - what I'd probably do is lowest possible thing from the Amazon list or a bottle of Mead from a nearby maker, and not likely to jump over $20 unless they're someone you're SUPER over the top close to which it doesn't sound like you are.  And NWIH would I give cash/paypal, gift card, nor honeymoon fund...  I can handle the Cash Bar but two years after they got married (unless there was a story to go along with it like a deployment, and even then...), SNS - NOPE!
    Nope - not super close at all. We live on opposite coasts and exchange FB pleasantries, but nothing too major. FI really wants to go because we could not invite all his cousins and relatives to our wedding, so it will be a nice chance for him to catch up with his family, which I'm okay with. It's more annoying that we're going to be at a PPD lol 
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    ahoyweddingahoywedding member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Wow you're even traveling for this? You're good people :) I hope the PPD is somewhere you'd enjoy to vacation and you can take a few extra days!

    I agree with PPs, something small like a picture frame is fine. Or no gift, but what do I know because I almost always bring hostess gifts. Also start investigating hidden flask options now ;)
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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @NBSwared2017 good on you for having a good attitude about it. I'd go with a card and a token present, like a frame. Your FH seems to be looking more towards just seeing his family regardless of the occasion, so that's a fine way to look at the effort for travel and everything. 

    My nose literally wrinkled up when I read about the honeymoon registry, paypal, and cash bar. Oh my! 
    ________________________________


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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
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    ahoywedding said:
    Wow you're even traveling for this? You're good people :) I hope the PPD is somewhere you'd enjoy to vacation and you can take a few extra days!

    I agree with PPs, something small like a picture frame is fine. Or no gift, but what do I know because I almost always bring hostess gifts. Also start investigating hidden flask options now ;)
    North Carolina - so it's a nice little getaway, I suppose. FH and I have a state map and we are trying to hit up the best brunches in all 50 states, so at least we can get that out of the way! 

    The hidden flask option is key - I'll propose that! However, I suspect the reception will end early and we'll all end up at the hotel bar!
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
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    thisismynickname2 said:
    @NBSwared2017 good on you for having a good attitude about it. I'd go with a card and a token present, like a frame. Your FH seems to be looking more towards just seeing his family regardless of the occasion, so that's a fine way to look at the effort for travel and everything. 

    My nose literally wrinkled up when I read about the honeymoon registry, paypal, and cash bar. Oh my! 
    Right? A cash bar is not ideal, but I can deal with it. Blatantly asking for money after being married for two years is downright rude. Especially just an email address so we can send you PayPal donations. 

    Um...okay. 
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    ahoyweddingahoywedding member
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    NBSquared2017 said:
    ahoywedding said:
    Wow you're even traveling for this? You're good people :) I hope the PPD is somewhere you'd enjoy to vacation and you can take a few extra days!

    I agree with PPs, something small like a picture frame is fine. Or no gift, but what do I know because I almost always bring hostess gifts. Also start investigating hidden flask options now ;)
    North Carolina - so it's a nice little getaway, I suppose. FH and I have a state map and we are trying to hit up the best brunches in all 50 states, so at least we can get that out of the way! 

    The hidden flask option is key - I'll propose that! However, I suspect the reception will end early and we'll all end up at the hotel bar!
    Where in NC? I've lived here for several years and would be happy to give you some travel suggestions :) 
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    ahoywedding said:
    NBSquared2017 said:
    ahoywedding said:
    Wow you're even traveling for this? You're good people :) I hope the PPD is somewhere you'd enjoy to vacation and you can take a few extra days!

    I agree with PPs, something small like a picture frame is fine. Or no gift, but what do I know because I almost always bring hostess gifts. Also start investigating hidden flask options now ;)
    North Carolina - so it's a nice little getaway, I suppose. FH and I have a state map and we are trying to hit up the best brunches in all 50 states, so at least we can get that out of the way! 

    The hidden flask option is key - I'll propose that! However, I suspect the reception will end early and we'll all end up at the hotel bar!
    Where in NC? I've lived here for several years and would be happy to give you some travel suggestions :) 
    The wedding is in Raleigh!

    We looked up a place called Tupelo Honey on Opentable - we were thinking about that, but if you can suggest a place I would love that! 
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    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    PPs have it covered. Man, what a trainwreck. The paypal account is horrifying. 


    image
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    ahoyweddingahoywedding member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    NBSquared2017 said:
    ahoywedding said:
    NBSquared2017 said:
    ahoywedding said:
    Wow you're even traveling for this? You're good people :) I hope the PPD is somewhere you'd enjoy to vacation and you can take a few extra days!

    I agree with PPs, something small like a picture frame is fine. Or no gift, but what do I know because I almost always bring hostess gifts. Also start investigating hidden flask options now ;)
    North Carolina - so it's a nice little getaway, I suppose. FH and I have a state map and we are trying to hit up the best brunches in all 50 states, so at least we can get that out of the way! 

    The hidden flask option is key - I'll propose that! However, I suspect the reception will end early and we'll all end up at the hotel bar!
    Where in NC? I've lived here for several years and would be happy to give you some travel suggestions :) 
    The wedding is in Raleigh!

    We looked up a place called Tupelo Honey on Opentable - we were thinking about that, but if you can suggest a place I would love that! 
    Yes that's a good pick! If you can get into Brewery Bhavana, that's a great bookstore/flower shop/brewery/dumpling restaurant that just opened. It sounds not cohesive but I swear it works. Also check out the NC Art Museum! You can see a good bit of it for free, and they have amazing outdoor space and an awesome brunch.
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you like video games and drinking, go hang out at Boxcar... it's an arcade with a full bar, complete with holders for pint glasses attached to all the old-school pinball and video game machines.
    image
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