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Received This Gem in The Mail...

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Re: Received This Gem in The Mail...

  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    True.   But the rule of thumb is to trend on the side of NOT offending.   If the majority of your guests are from a culture that would find empty envelopes next to a bird cage rather crass, don't do it.   It's just that simple.  

    In the words of one of my favorite movies, "Don't add.   Just subtract." 
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    And for the couple's first dance .....





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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    True.   But the rule of thumb is to trend on the side of NOT offending.   If the majority of your guests are from a culture that would find empty envelopes next to a bird cage rather crass, don't do it.   It's just that simple.  

    In the words of one of my favorite movies, "Don't add.   Just subtract." 
    In that case we are in good shape! ✌
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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    holyguacamole79 said:
    And for the couple's first dance .....

    More like what the invoices feel like afterwards
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Cookie Pusher said:
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    To the bolded, we got 100% cash gifts and not a single guest tried to "slip" it to us. We had a card box near our guest book and our guests were smart enough to realize that the card box was for the cards. The cards they put their monetary gifts into. Even the guests who gave us red envelopes slipped them into their cards and dropped them into the card box. Literally, the only people who did not use the card box were our parents because they handed us our red envelopes during the tea ceremony. And lets be honest - anyone who would "slip" you money instead of using your card receptacle is going to try to slip it to you even if you provide them with cutesy envelopes.

    STUCK - 

    Yes! Is this a gift or a freaking drug deal? Has anyone ever received a gift of any kind this way? "Slipping" money right in the middle of a party?

    Hopefully KISA KnottieNumbers will come back to correct and belittle me and tell me I'm wrong and racist. 

    Francis, I think you're overestimating your guests' enthusiasm about giving you cash. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    The only other "slip it to you" I've ever seen is the practice of the bride carrying a white fabric purse during table visits.   It's presumed to be a 'handbag' but the understanding is that cards / cash are put in it.

    I've seen it at exactly ONE wedding in my life IRL.

    For those who enjoy the Godfather,  I believe you can see Connie doing this at her wedding. 
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    banana468 said:
    The only other "slip it to you" I've ever seen is the practice of the bride carrying a white fabric purse during table visits.   It's presumed to be a 'handbag' but the understanding is that cards / cash are put in it.

    I've seen it at exactly ONE wedding in my life IRL.

    For those who enjoy the Godfather,  I believe you can see Connie doing this at her wedding. 
    My mom carried one of those bags when she got married. Only time I've ever seen it done. Every other wedding I've been to had a card box.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2018
    ShesSoCold said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    To the bolded, we got 100% cash gifts and not a single guest tried to "slip" it to us. We had a card box near our guest book and our guests were smart enough to realize that the card box was for the cards. The cards they put their monetary gifts into. Even the guests who gave us red envelopes slipped them into their cards and dropped them into the card box. Literally, the only people who did not use the card box were our parents because they handed us our red envelopes during the tea ceremony. And lets be honest - anyone who would "slip" you money instead of using your card receptacle is going to try to slip it to you even if you provide them with cutesy envelopes.

    STUCK - 

    Yes! Is this a gift or a freaking drug deal? Has anyone ever received a gift of any kind this way? "Slipping" money right in the middle of a party?

    Hopefully KISA KnottieNumbers will come back to correct and belittle me and tell me I'm wrong and racist. 

    Francis, I think you're overestimating your guests' enthusiasm about giving you cash. 

    To Bolded:
    I'm not making any "overestimations". You don't know my guests! ;)
    I've seen this happen a few different times. Older relatives or folks who have forgotten to bring gifts or cards and want to leave the couple something. I don't remember if there was a card box at those weddings.

    That said, I'm hoping that most of my attendees will notice our gifts & card sign, the bird cage, gold envelopes, the well wishes cards and make a connection between them.

    Having it present is simply planning for whatever may happen.

    Also? I like the idea of folks leaving us a happy message behind even if they chose not to leave money.



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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    frances_l said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    To the bolded, we got 100% cash gifts and not a single guest tried to "slip" it to us. We had a card box near our guest book and our guests were smart enough to realize that the card box was for the cards. The cards they put their monetary gifts into. Even the guests who gave us red envelopes slipped them into their cards and dropped them into the card box. Literally, the only people who did not use the card box were our parents because they handed us our red envelopes during the tea ceremony. And lets be honest - anyone who would "slip" you money instead of using your card receptacle is going to try to slip it to you even if you provide them with cutesy envelopes.

    STUCK - 

    Yes! Is this a gift or a freaking drug deal? Has anyone ever received a gift of any kind this way? "Slipping" money right in the middle of a party?

    Hopefully KISA KnottieNumbers will come back to correct and belittle me and tell me I'm wrong and racist. 

    Francis, I think you're overestimating your guests' enthusiasm about giving you cash. 

    To Bolded:
    I'm not making any "overestimations". You don't know my guests! ;)
    I've seen this happen a few different times. Older relatives or folks who have forgotten to bring gifts or cards and want to leave the couple something. I don't remember if there was a card box at those weddings.

    That said, I'm hoping that most of my attendees will notice our gifts & card sign, the bird cage, gold envelopes, the well wishes cards and make a connection between them.

    Having it present is simply planning for whatever may happen.

    Also? I like the idea of folks leaving us a happy message behind even if they chose not to leave money.



    Here's the thing though:   Most of our guests gave cash at the wedding.   That said, not one person needed to be prompted with an envelope and in our culture, if we did it it would be seen as construing that we were fishing for gifts.  

    Slight tangent story: I stayed in a hotel when my college BF graduated from boot camp and stayed with his mom.   The hotel was atrocious: no phone in the room (it was pre-everyone has a cell era) and the bed was short sheeted!   The AC was broken and all in all, it was just not fantastic.   But there was an envelope on the dresser to leave a tip.   My boyfriend's mom saw that envelope and she surely did leave a tip.   In her excellent handwriting she wrote out exactly what a good hotel staff should do in the future if they want their housekeeping to receive tips from their patrons.   

    If you put out those cards in the same location as the bird cage where guests leave their gifts it's going to look like you're fishing for presents.   However if you write, "Please write a note of well wishes for the couple" and put that in a separate location it no longer comes off as leaving a bad taste. 
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  • Knottie1440387140Knottie1440387140 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Tacky or not, sometimes blank envelopes at the reception are used and appreciated.  Depends on the crowd if anyone gets offended.

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  • CasadenaCasadena member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Knottie1440387140 said:
    Tacky or not, sometimes blank envelopes at the reception are used and appreciated.  Depends on the crowd if anyone gets offended.

    But why would you take the chance?  It's tacky, period.  If you don't have them, no one will think twice.  If ppl want to give cash they will, they don't need reminders like blank envelopes.  It make YOU look bad. 
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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    To the bolded, we got 100% cash gifts and not a single guest tried to "slip" it to us. We had a card box near our guest book and our guests were smart enough to realize that the card box was for the cards. The cards they put their monetary gifts into. Even the guests who gave us red envelopes slipped them into their cards and dropped them into the card box. Literally, the only people who did not use the card box were our parents because they handed us our red envelopes during the tea ceremony. And lets be honest - anyone who would "slip" you money instead of using your card receptacle is going to try to slip it to you even if you provide them with cutesy envelopes.

    STUCK - 

    Yes! Is this a gift or a freaking drug deal? Has anyone ever received a gift of any kind this way? "Slipping" money right in the middle of a party?

    Hopefully KISA KnottieNumbers will come back to correct and belittle me and tell me I'm wrong and racist. 

    Francis, I think you're overestimating your guests' enthusiasm about giving you cash. 

    To Bolded:
    I'm not making any "overestimations". You don't know my guests! ;)
    I've seen this happen a few different times. Older relatives or folks who have forgotten to bring gifts or cards and want to leave the couple something. I don't remember if there was a card box at those weddings.

    That said, I'm hoping that most of my attendees will notice our gifts & card sign, the bird cage, gold envelopes, the well wishes cards and make a connection between them.

    Having it present is simply planning for whatever may happen.

    Also? I like the idea of folks leaving us a happy message behind even if they chose not to leave money.



    Here's the thing though:   Most of our guests gave cash at the wedding.   That said, not one person needed to be prompted with an envelope and in our culture, if we did it it would be seen as construing that we were fishing for gifts.  

    Slight tangent story: I stayed in a hotel when my college BF graduated from boot camp and stayed with his mom.   The hotel was atrocious: no phone in the room (it was pre-everyone has a cell era) and the bed was short sheeted!   The AC was broken and all in all, it was just not fantastic.   But there was an envelope on the dresser to leave a tip.   My boyfriend's mom saw that envelope and she surely did leave a tip.   In her excellent handwriting she wrote out exactly what a good hotel staff should do in the future if they want their housekeeping to receive tips from their patrons.   

    If you put out those cards in the same location as the bird cage where guests leave their gifts it's going to look like you're fishing for presents.   However if you write, "Please write a note of well wishes for the couple" and put that in a separate location it no longer comes off as leaving a bad taste. 
    To bolded:
    Like I said prior, it's subjective to culture. None of my guests are going to be fussed.

    I actually designed two signs — a large one reading "Gifts & Cards" and a smaller sign next to the cards, envelopes and bird cage that says, "Leave a note for the Lovebirds." I designed them so that it's real obvious that they may be used for messages:

    "To the Newlyweds, 
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    Best Wishes, __________________"

    This will be on the "Gifts & Cards" table, because the bird cage is our card box. It's not necessary to have a whole different table for it.
    ______________________________________________________

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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    ShesSoCold said:
    frances_l said:
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    To the bolded, we got 100% cash gifts and not a single guest tried to "slip" it to us. We had a card box near our guest book and our guests were smart enough to realize that the card box was for the cards. The cards they put their monetary gifts into. Even the guests who gave us red envelopes slipped them into their cards and dropped them into the card box. Literally, the only people who did not use the card box were our parents because they handed us our red envelopes during the tea ceremony. And lets be honest - anyone who would "slip" you money instead of using your card receptacle is going to try to slip it to you even if you provide them with cutesy envelopes.

    STUCK - 

    Yes! Is this a gift or a freaking drug deal? Has anyone ever received a gift of any kind this way? "Slipping" money right in the middle of a party?

    Hopefully KISA KnottieNumbers will come back to correct and belittle me and tell me I'm wrong and racist. 

    Francis, I think you're overestimating your guests' enthusiasm about giving you cash. 

    To Bolded:
    I'm not making any "overestimations". You don't know my guests! ;)
    I've seen this happen a few different times. Older relatives or folks who have forgotten to bring gifts or cards and want to leave the couple something. I don't remember if there was a card box at those weddings.

    That said, I'm hoping that most of my attendees will notice our gifts & card sign, the bird cage, gold envelopes, the well wishes cards and make a connection between them.

    Having it present is simply planning for whatever may happen.

    Also? I like the idea of folks leaving us a happy message behind even if they chose not to leave money.



    Here's the thing though:   Most of our guests gave cash at the wedding.   That said, not one person needed to be prompted with an envelope and in our culture, if we did it it would be seen as construing that we were fishing for gifts.  

    Slight tangent story: I stayed in a hotel when my college BF graduated from boot camp and stayed with his mom.   The hotel was atrocious: no phone in the room (it was pre-everyone has a cell era) and the bed was short sheeted!   The AC was broken and all in all, it was just not fantastic.   But there was an envelope on the dresser to leave a tip.   My boyfriend's mom saw that envelope and she surely did leave a tip.   In her excellent handwriting she wrote out exactly what a good hotel staff should do in the future if they want their housekeeping to receive tips from their patrons.   

    If you put out those cards in the same location as the bird cage where guests leave their gifts it's going to look like you're fishing for presents.   However if you write, "Please write a note of well wishes for the couple" and put that in a separate location it no longer comes off as leaving a bad taste. 
    To bolded:
    Like I said prior, it's subjective to culture. None of my guests are going to be fussed.

    I actually designed two signs — a large one reading "Gifts & Cards" and a smaller sign next to the cards, envelopes and bird cage that says, "Leave a note for the Lovebirds." I designed them so that it's real obvious that they may be used for messages:

    "To the Newlyweds, 
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    Best Wishes, __________________"

    This will be on the "Gifts & Cards" table, because the bird cage is our card box. It's not necessary to have a whole different table for it.
    I'm shocked that the gifts sign is larger than the "leave us a note" sign.

    Shocked. 


    I’m shocked at a reach to find something amiss with this setup.

    Shocked.

    The Gifts & Cards Sign should be larger to identify the table’s purpose. The smaller sign is positioned right next to the cards, envelopes and bird cage. Everything is arranged and designed in a way that the purpose of each is clear and highly visible.

    ______________________________________________________

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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    frances_l said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    frances_l said:
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    To the bolded, we got 100% cash gifts and not a single guest tried to "slip" it to us. We had a card box near our guest book and our guests were smart enough to realize that the card box was for the cards. The cards they put their monetary gifts into. Even the guests who gave us red envelopes slipped them into their cards and dropped them into the card box. Literally, the only people who did not use the card box were our parents because they handed us our red envelopes during the tea ceremony. And lets be honest - anyone who would "slip" you money instead of using your card receptacle is going to try to slip it to you even if you provide them with cutesy envelopes.

    STUCK - 

    Yes! Is this a gift or a freaking drug deal? Has anyone ever received a gift of any kind this way? "Slipping" money right in the middle of a party?

    Hopefully KISA KnottieNumbers will come back to correct and belittle me and tell me I'm wrong and racist. 

    Francis, I think you're overestimating your guests' enthusiasm about giving you cash. 

    To Bolded:
    I'm not making any "overestimations". You don't know my guests! ;)
    I've seen this happen a few different times. Older relatives or folks who have forgotten to bring gifts or cards and want to leave the couple something. I don't remember if there was a card box at those weddings.

    That said, I'm hoping that most of my attendees will notice our gifts & card sign, the bird cage, gold envelopes, the well wishes cards and make a connection between them.

    Having it present is simply planning for whatever may happen.

    Also? I like the idea of folks leaving us a happy message behind even if they chose not to leave money.



    Here's the thing though:   Most of our guests gave cash at the wedding.   That said, not one person needed to be prompted with an envelope and in our culture, if we did it it would be seen as construing that we were fishing for gifts.  

    Slight tangent story: I stayed in a hotel when my college BF graduated from boot camp and stayed with his mom.   The hotel was atrocious: no phone in the room (it was pre-everyone has a cell era) and the bed was short sheeted!   The AC was broken and all in all, it was just not fantastic.   But there was an envelope on the dresser to leave a tip.   My boyfriend's mom saw that envelope and she surely did leave a tip.   In her excellent handwriting she wrote out exactly what a good hotel staff should do in the future if they want their housekeeping to receive tips from their patrons.   

    If you put out those cards in the same location as the bird cage where guests leave their gifts it's going to look like you're fishing for presents.   However if you write, "Please write a note of well wishes for the couple" and put that in a separate location it no longer comes off as leaving a bad taste. 
    To bolded:
    Like I said prior, it's subjective to culture. None of my guests are going to be fussed.

    I actually designed two signs — a large one reading "Gifts & Cards" and a smaller sign next to the cards, envelopes and bird cage that says, "Leave a note for the Lovebirds." I designed them so that it's real obvious that they may be used for messages:

    "To the Newlyweds, 
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    Best Wishes, __________________"

    This will be on the "Gifts & Cards" table, because the bird cage is our card box. It's not necessary to have a whole different table for it.
    I'm shocked that the gifts sign is larger than the "leave us a note" sign.

    Shocked. 


    I’m shocked at a reach to find something amiss with this setup.

    Shocked.

    The Gifts & Cards Sign should be larger to identify the table’s purpose. The smaller sign is positioned right next to the cards, envelopes and bird cage. Everything is arranged and designed in a way that the purpose of each is clear and highly visible.

    We had no signs.   None.   Somehow our guests figured it out without telling them.  
    Report Reply
  • MRDCleMRDCle member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    frances_l said:
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    To the bolded, we got 100% cash gifts and not a single guest tried to "slip" it to us. We had a card box near our guest book and our guests were smart enough to realize that the card box was for the cards. The cards they put their monetary gifts into. Even the guests who gave us red envelopes slipped them into their cards and dropped them into the card box. Literally, the only people who did not use the card box were our parents because they handed us our red envelopes during the tea ceremony. And lets be honest - anyone who would "slip" you money instead of using your card receptacle is going to try to slip it to you even if you provide them with cutesy envelopes.

    STUCK - 

    Yes! Is this a gift or a freaking drug deal? Has anyone ever received a gift of any kind this way? "Slipping" money right in the middle of a party?

    Hopefully KISA KnottieNumbers will come back to correct and belittle me and tell me I'm wrong and racist. 

    Francis, I think you're overestimating your guests' enthusiasm about giving you cash. 

    To Bolded:
    I'm not making any "overestimations". You don't know my guests! ;)
    I've seen this happen a few different times. Older relatives or folks who have forgotten to bring gifts or cards and want to leave the couple something. I don't remember if there was a card box at those weddings.

    That said, I'm hoping that most of my attendees will notice our gifts & card sign, the bird cage, gold envelopes, the well wishes cards and make a connection between them.

    Having it present is simply planning for whatever may happen.

    Also? I like the idea of folks leaving us a happy message behind even if they chose not to leave money.



    Here's the thing though:   Most of our guests gave cash at the wedding.   That said, not one person needed to be prompted with an envelope and in our culture, if we did it it would be seen as construing that we were fishing for gifts.  

    Slight tangent story: I stayed in a hotel when my college BF graduated from boot camp and stayed with his mom.   The hotel was atrocious: no phone in the room (it was pre-everyone has a cell era) and the bed was short sheeted!   The AC was broken and all in all, it was just not fantastic.   But there was an envelope on the dresser to leave a tip.   My boyfriend's mom saw that envelope and she surely did leave a tip.   In her excellent handwriting she wrote out exactly what a good hotel staff should do in the future if they want their housekeeping to receive tips from their patrons.   

    If you put out those cards in the same location as the bird cage where guests leave their gifts it's going to look like you're fishing for presents.   However if you write, "Please write a note of well wishes for the couple" and put that in a separate location it no longer comes off as leaving a bad taste. 
    To bolded:
    Like I said prior, it's subjective to culture. None of my guests are going to be fussed.

    I actually designed two signs — a large one reading "Gifts & Cards" and a smaller sign next to the cards, envelopes and bird cage that says, "Leave a note for the Lovebirds." I designed them so that it's real obvious that they may be used for messages:

    "To the Newlyweds, 
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    Best Wishes, __________________"

    This will be on the "Gifts & Cards" table, because the bird cage is our card box. It's not necessary to have a whole different table for it.
    I'm shocked that the gifts sign is larger than the "leave us a note" sign.

    Shocked. 


    I’m shocked at a reach to find something amiss with this setup.

    Shocked.

    The Gifts & Cards Sign should be larger to identify the table’s purpose. The smaller sign is positioned right next to the cards, envelopes and bird cage. Everything is arranged and designed in a way that the purpose of each is clear and highly visible.

    We had no signs.   None.   Somehow our guests figured it out without telling them.  
    Are you really married in this day and age without a barrage of cutesy signs at your wedding?! /s
    Report Reply
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    frances_l said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    frances_l said:
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    frances_l said:
    My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
    To the bolded, we got 100% cash gifts and not a single guest tried to "slip" it to us. We had a card box near our guest book and our guests were smart enough to realize that the card box was for the cards. The cards they put their monetary gifts into. Even the guests who gave us red envelopes slipped them into their cards and dropped them into the card box. Literally, the only people who did not use the card box were our parents because they handed us our red envelopes during the tea ceremony. And lets be honest - anyone who would "slip" you money instead of using your card receptacle is going to try to slip it to you even if you provide them with cutesy envelopes.

    STUCK - 

    Yes! Is this a gift or a freaking drug deal? Has anyone ever received a gift of any kind this way? "Slipping" money right in the middle of a party?

    Hopefully KISA KnottieNumbers will come back to correct and belittle me and tell me I'm wrong and racist. 

    Francis, I think you're overestimating your guests' enthusiasm about giving you cash. 

    To Bolded:
    I'm not making any "overestimations". You don't know my guests! ;)
    I've seen this happen a few different times. Older relatives or folks who have forgotten to bring gifts or cards and want to leave the couple something. I don't remember if there was a card box at those weddings.

    That said, I'm hoping that most of my attendees will notice our gifts & card sign, the bird cage, gold envelopes, the well wishes cards and make a connection between them.

    Having it present is simply planning for whatever may happen.

    Also? I like the idea of folks leaving us a happy message behind even if they chose not to leave money.



    Here's the thing though:   Most of our guests gave cash at the wedding.   That said, not one person needed to be prompted with an envelope and in our culture, if we did it it would be seen as construing that we were fishing for gifts.  

    Slight tangent story: I stayed in a hotel when my college BF graduated from boot camp and stayed with his mom.   The hotel was atrocious: no phone in the room (it was pre-everyone has a cell era) and the bed was short sheeted!   The AC was broken and all in all, it was just not fantastic.   But there was an envelope on the dresser to leave a tip.   My boyfriend's mom saw that envelope and she surely did leave a tip.   In her excellent handwriting she wrote out exactly what a good hotel staff should do in the future if they want their housekeeping to receive tips from their patrons.   

    If you put out those cards in the same location as the bird cage where guests leave their gifts it's going to look like you're fishing for presents.   However if you write, "Please write a note of well wishes for the couple" and put that in a separate location it no longer comes off as leaving a bad taste. 
    To bolded:
    Like I said prior, it's subjective to culture. None of my guests are going to be fussed.

    I actually designed two signs — a large one reading "Gifts & Cards" and a smaller sign next to the cards, envelopes and bird cage that says, "Leave a note for the Lovebirds." I designed them so that it's real obvious that they may be used for messages:

    "To the Newlyweds, 
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    _______________________________
    Best Wishes, __________________"

    This will be on the "Gifts & Cards" table, because the bird cage is our card box. It's not necessary to have a whole different table for it.
    I'm shocked that the gifts sign is larger than the "leave us a note" sign.

    Shocked. 


    I’m shocked at a reach to find something amiss with this setup.

    Shocked.

    The Gifts & Cards Sign should be larger to identify the table’s purpose. The smaller sign is positioned right next to the cards, envelopes and bird cage. Everything is arranged and designed in a way that the purpose of each is clear and highly visible.

    Do you have every other table labeled? Is there a sign on the cake table identifying its purpose, or the table with the escort cards? Are the dinner tables appropriately labeled "Dinner Table #4"?

    You're going to do whatever you want and that's fine (sorta), but don't try to act like you're doing this crap as a favor to other people.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment

    I’m not “pretending” anything. And nothing that I’m putting together is “crap.” Thanks.

    Definitely not overusing them. Signs are placed where appropriate and to be helpful to guests. It is helpful to have well placed signs in areas that aren’t readily obvious or to bring attention to a feature.

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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    frances_l said:

    I’m not “pretending” anything. And nothing that I’m putting together is “crap.” Thanks.

    Definitely not overusing them. Signs are placed where appropriate and to be helpful to guests. It is helpful to have well placed signs in areas that aren’t readily obvious or to bring attention to a feature.

    Out of curiosity, what do you *think* guests may think the empty table with a birdcage is for if you don't put the word gifts on it?  A place to sit the kids?  Location for dirty plates and handbags?? 


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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Look, people. The bottom line is everyone knows gifts are customary for a wedding. Customary, not required. Everyone expects that there will be a table somewhere at the reception to place said gifts, whether they are in wrapped boxes or envelopes. 
    Any effort to go above and beyond with signs, poems, whatever, is just drawing attention to the fact that you expect gifts, and that's where the line between customary and tacky gets crossed. 
    In all the weddings I've been too, I've always successfully found a card box without some neon sign and silly poem. 
    ________________________________


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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I live in the land of cash gifts at a wedding. I have NEVER seen envelopes like this at the dozens and dozens of weddings I've attended. And if I did see one, my first thought would be "How tacky", and it would definitely change my opinion of the couple. 
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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:

    I’m not “pretending” anything. And nothing that I’m putting together is “crap.” Thanks.

    Definitely not overusing them. Signs are placed where appropriate and to be helpful to guests. It is helpful to have well placed signs in areas that aren’t readily obvious or to bring attention to a feature.

    Out of curiosity, what do you *think* guests may think the empty table with a birdcage is for if you don't put the word gifts on it?  A place to sit the kids?  Location for dirty plates and handbags?? 



    Probably think it decorative.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    climbingwife said:
    I live in the land of cash gifts at a wedding. I have NEVER seen envelopes like this at the dozens and dozens of weddings I've attended. And if I did see one, my first thought would be "How tacky", and it would definitely change my opinion of the couple. 
    Stuck in the box: me too.   And those who didn't bring something to the wedding mailed them later.   

    The only thing different is the era my MIL grew up in where the ladies filled out their checks in the bathroom as a group where they assessed what they thought the event was worth. 
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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2018
    MRDCle said:
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:

    I’m not “pretending” anything. And nothing that I’m putting together is “crap.” Thanks.

    Definitely not overusing them. Signs are placed where appropriate and to be helpful to guests. It is helpful to have well placed signs in areas that aren’t readily obvious or to bring attention to a feature.

    Out of curiosity, what do you *think* guests may think the empty table with a birdcage is for if you don't put the word gifts on it?  A place to sit the kids?  Location for dirty plates and handbags?? 


    “Maybe they will assume Frances is an irresponsible bird owner?”


    LMAOOO   Exactly why a sign would be needed here. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    frances_l said:
    banana468 said:
    frances_l said:

    I’m not “pretending” anything. And nothing that I’m putting together is “crap.” Thanks.

    Definitely not overusing them. Signs are placed where appropriate and to be helpful to guests. It is helpful to have well placed signs in areas that aren’t readily obvious or to bring attention to a feature.

    Out of curiosity, what do you *think* guests may think the empty table with a birdcage is for if you don't put the word gifts on it?  A place to sit the kids?  Location for dirty plates and handbags?? 



    Probably think it decorative.


    So at any other wedding you've seen a birdcage is just a decoration?

    In all honesty, how many weddings have you attended?  
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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2018

    To be clear... I’ve both attended several weddings as a guest and as a bridesmaid. This is not my first rodeo. Many of the same people will be at my wedding as well.

    They’ve all used these cloth-covered boxes that I really don’t like or find “on theme” for my wedding. The bird cage seemed to match the aesthetic we are going for. Since no one at past events have used it before, it’s possible to be mistaken as a only a decorative element without signs to indicate its purpose.

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  • MRDCleMRDCle member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    frances_l said:

    To be clear, I’ve both attended several weddings as a guest and as a bridesmaid. Many of the same people will be at my wedding as well.

    They’ve all used these cloth-covered boxes that I really don’t like or find “on theme” for my wedding. The bird cage seemed to match the aesthetic we are going for. Since no one at past events have used it before, it’s possible to be mistaken as adecorative element without signs to indicate its purpose.

    Birdcages are fairly popular card boxes presently. 
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