Plus One B-List ?

Re: Plus One B-List ?

• MairePoppy mod

  

  July 2018

  I think it would be okay to call those singles after the rsvp date to ask if they'd like to bring someone. I would do it in groups - for instance, immediate family, all the first cousins, college friends. I'm not aware of any hierarchy, other than I would offer those plus ones to immediate family first. I wouldn't consider that B-listing.
  
  

                     

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• MobKaz member

  

  July 2018

  SachaBee said:

  I could swear I've seen this on here before, but I want to double check. Everyone in a relationship is invited with their SO. But we do have some truly single friends and we didn't give plus ones to single guests (except wedding party, although none of them are bringing dates anyway). If we get more "no" responses than we expected, is it okay to tell single guests they can bring a date if they choose? Or is this still B-listing? Also, what if we can't offer this to all single guests, but only to some? Would that be wrong, or is there some hierarchy (i.e., older guests should have first dibs or something--I don't know) I should follow? 

  I like and agree with @MairePoppy's suggestion of adding invitations in logical groups or circles.  The only situation in which I might "break" that rationale is if there is someone on the original list that knows few or no other guests attending the wedding.  Such an extended invitation would also be easy to explain (if someone would be rude enough to question).

  
  

  Personally, however, if someone on my "original list" was in that situation, I would try VERY hard to include a guest for that person from the start.
  

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• short+sassy member

  

  July 2018

  I agree with the other PPs.  It's perfectly fine to offer truly single guests "plus ones" after invites go out.

  To me, that's very different from a B-List.  A B-List is filling in guests that didn't make the first "cut".  And they'll often know or find out they were an afterthought, which is hurtful and rude.

  However, offering a plus one (after the fact) for truly single guests is a nicety and courtesy for them.  It's thinking of their wants.  Which is essentially what etiquette is all about!

  

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• ahoywedding member

  

  July 2018

  I agree with PPs' suggestions. I went to weddings for a few friends when I was single, and got a text or email closer to the wedding date letting me know I could bring a friend or date if I wanted. I think the only time I took them up on it was when I had to travel, since that's more fun with someone else. 
  
  Personally, I'd prioritize a plus one for guests who may not know anyone else, then start with immediate family, close friends, move out from there. 

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• Jen4948 member

  

  July 2018

  I also don't see anything wring with allowing unattached single guests to bring plus-ones after invitations are sent and you know you have the space available. 
  
  I agree with PPs that if you know of anyone on your "invited by name" guest list who's not part of a circle, I'd make sure they know they can bring someone.

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• maine7mob member

  

  August 2018 edited August 2018

  I think this is a very gracious thing to do. You could simply send a text, email or call saying "Hey, is there anyone you'd like to bring? It turns out that we have some extra space at our venue and would love for you to bring a friend if you want."
  
  Also, it is never a violation of etiquette to be generous.

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• knottieae8af736662ece6d member

  

  August 2018

  I don't think it's B-listing if you are talking about unspecified people you have never met. IMO B-listing is only bad if you are talking about people who may be offended that they were not on the A-list. Unspecified plus-ones whom you may not have even met are not in that situation. But that's just me.
  
  When I asked the bride a few years ago if I could bring a +1 (I know now that that is a faux pas!) she graciously said that they were having it at a boutique hotel and didn't have enough space but she would let me know later if space opened up. I certainly wasn't offended. I cringe in hindsight about some of the things like that I did as a wedding guest before I knew better.

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