Dear Prudence,
My longtime friend “Toni” is getting divorced from her husband, “Cal,” after his affair. It has been very messy. Toni has gone scorched-earth and demanded everyone choose a side. Cal is very close to my husband and my daughters. I have known Toni for over 15 years—including when she had an affair and had an abortion to keep it a secret. I held her hand during the procedure. Toni just accused my 23-year-old daughter of having sex with Cal because she wanted both Toni and Cal at her graduation. My daughter called me crying, and I don’t know what to do. My immediate impulse is to call Toni and tell her off and then let everyone else know what Toni did. I know that is not the right thing to do, but I don’t know what that is.
—Scorched-Earth Friendship