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Etiquette

NWR- Thank you cards for child's birthday

thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
Hi all,
Recently had my kid's 1st birthday party; about 50 people in attendance. We opened gifts during the party and thanked people as we opened. All gifts were recorded with the intention of sending thank you cards, as I'm usually on that like white on rice. 

Being among the last in our social circle to reproduce, I've noticed that TYs for birthdays aren't consistently sent. Even though gifts are always opened during the party, some parents have sent cards "from" the child (which is adorable), and some haven't. I'm not wedded to an idea either way as generally I'm of the mindset that if I'm thanked in person, that's enough. But, showers go against that logic, as everyone sends TYs for showers, so, I don't know.  

And you know what... I'm just tired and lazy right now and don't want to.
So-- the poll: 

NWR- Thank you cards for child's birthday 32 votes

Send thank you cards for your kid's presents!
81% 26 votes
Thanking them in person was thanks enough.
18% 6 votes
I like turtles.
0% 0 votes
________________________________


Re: NWR- Thank you cards for child's birthday

  • CasadenaCasadena member
    500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 14

    I voted Yes, send them. 

    However - I reread and since your kiddo is only 1, I think thanking in person is enough.  Once they are old enough I think it's important to send and that it comes from the kiddo - I personally think it's silly when the kid is too young to write or understand the thank you note to send one "from kiddo" if you thanked people at the party.

    ahoywedding
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I voted to send them. I would send them in your name until your kiddo is old enough to understand what you are doing then involve them in the process until they can write their own notes.
    thisismynickname2Casadena
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Overwhelming results point to yes. Thanks all! I'll find time to do it. Luckily DH is a TY note aficionado too and already asked if we have any lying around. We don't, so next trip to the store those will be on the list. 
    ________________________________


  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I truly don't remember ever sending or receiving thank you cards for birthday parties I was in attendance for/people that were in attendance. I've definitely received a thank you card for sending a present when I couldn't attend.  

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    What is common in my circle is having a picture from the party of the kid put on a photo TY card, then send those out.  Most of the time, there is no extra wording other than what is pre-written on the card.  These are pretty easy to make, even using Staples online, you can pick them up in store the following day.  If you go this route, don't forget checking Groupon first.

    After all that, for my immediate nieces and nephews, they thank us as they open the gifts and that's it.  It does not bother me at all.

  • eileenrobeileenrob member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 14
    I send thank you cards on behalf of my kids.  Although my oldest turned 4 in May, and she helped me this year by dictating what I should say and signing her own name.  As soon as she’s writing she’ll be doing them herself. Teach them young!

    H’s family doesn’t send birthday gift thank you’s, but they also don’t send TY notes for anything else.  My family (sister, cousins) do send them on behalf of their kids (all too young to write), but we also send TY’s for all other gifts.  I didn’t realize kids birthdays were a gray area.

    And OMG at the thought of opening presents at a kid party  :# is that a thing in some circles?!  That’s brazen (<- my tone may not be coming across but it’s admiring, not rude).


    eta: happy birthday to your little one! :)
    ernursejInLoveInQueens
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    eileenrob said:
    I send thank you cards on behalf of my kids.  Although my oldest turned 4 in May, and she helped me this year by dictating what I should say and signing her own name.  As soon as she’s writing she’ll be doing them herself. Teach them young!

    H’s family doesn’t send birthday gift thank you’s, but they also don’t send TY notes for anything else.  My family (sister, cousins) do send them on behalf of their kids (all too young to write), but we also send TY’s for all other gifts.  I didn’t realize kids birthdays were a gray area.

    And OMG at the thought of opening presents at a kid party  :# is that a thing in some circles?!  That’s brazen (<- my tone may not be coming across but it’s admiring, not rude).


    eta: happy birthday to your little one! :)
    Your kids don't open presents at their birthday parties? My kids always opened the presents during the party. I totally agree with teaching them to write thank you notes at a young age! 
    eileenrobcharlotte989875STARMOON44
  • eileenrob said:
    I send thank you cards on behalf of my kids.  Although my oldest turned 4 in May, and she helped me this year by dictating what I should say and signing her own name.  As soon as she’s writing she’ll be doing them herself. Teach them young!

    H’s family doesn’t send birthday gift thank you’s, but they also don’t send TY notes for anything else.  My family (sister, cousins) do send them on behalf of their kids (all too young to write), but we also send TY’s for all other gifts.  I didn’t realize kids birthdays were a gray area.

    And OMG at the thought of opening presents at a kid party  :# is that a thing in some circles?!  That’s brazen (<- my tone may not be coming across but it’s admiring, not rude).


    eta: happy birthday to your little one! :)
    Your kids don't open presents at their birthday parties? My kids always opened the presents during the party. I totally agree with teaching them to write thank you notes at a young age! 
    If we're at a big party we don't see the birthday kid open gifts.   It's too much! 
    eileenrob
  • eileenrob said:
    I send thank you cards on behalf of my kids.  Although my oldest turned 4 in May, and she helped me this year by dictating what I should say and signing her own name.  As soon as she’s writing she’ll be doing them herself. Teach them young!

    H’s family doesn’t send birthday gift thank you’s, but they also don’t send TY notes for anything else.  My family (sister, cousins) do send them on behalf of their kids (all too young to write), but we also send TY’s for all other gifts.  I didn’t realize kids birthdays were a gray area.

    And OMG at the thought of opening presents at a kid party  :# is that a thing in some circles?!  That’s brazen (<- my tone may not be coming across but it’s admiring, not rude).


    eta: happy birthday to your little one! :)
    Your kids don't open presents at their birthday parties? My kids always opened the presents during the party. I totally agree with teaching them to write thank you notes at a young age! 
    No they don’t.  It’s activities, lunch, activities, birthday cake, and goodbye  :D Older DD is 4 and the twins are 3 so maybe as they get older I’ll start to see it happen?  Although even growing up we didn’t...I liked having opening gifts to be a quieter after-party activity.  
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Hmm @banana468 and @eileenrob I guess it really does depend on circles. We never had really big birthday parties though. We stuck with the rule of the child's age = number children invited. My kids never attended or had a party where the gifts weren't opened. Also, parents didn't stay for the party only kids stayed (our own kids or ones they attended). I know that isn't the case now so much. Because we lived so far from our families, we didn't have family birthday parties.
    charlotte989875STARMOON44MobKaz
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Go ahead and send the thank-you notes in your own name. When your child is old enough to learn to write his or her own thank-you notes, teach him or her how to do so.
    Casadena
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    The gift opening practice does seem to vary, but I grew up opening presents at parties and always was really excited to watch my friends do it. I think it helps the kid learn the pleasure of giving, when they watch the recipient receive their gift!

    At this party, my sister held the baby and a few of my friends' kids ranging in age from 2 to 5 "helped" open the presents. It was... chaotic. I had to keep saying, "Wait, find the card so I can see who gave this before you open it!" But, this is a practice that's evolved in our circles, for better or for worse, haha. 

    When the kid is old enough to open their own presents they definitely get to do it on their own without "help." 
    ________________________________


    MobKazcharlotte989875STARMOON44
  • Hmm @banana468 and @eileenrob I guess it really does depend on circles. We never had really big birthday parties though. We stuck with the rule of the child's age = number children invited. My kids never attended or had a party where the gifts weren't opened. Also, parents didn't stay for the party only kids stayed (our own kids or ones they attended). I know that isn't the case now so much. Because we lived so far from our families, we didn't have family birthday parties.
    @ILoveBeachMusic I honestly never heard of that rule until MIL mentioned it in a condescending way and I had to roll my eyes at it because it was mentioned AT the party. 

    Times have definitely changed with parties.   I have not just dropped DD off at any birthday party yet.   Thus far the expectation has been that a parent would be with her in attendance and she's 7.    Some locations have even had time frames or we'd be fined if we didn't get out on time.   There's NO way we would be doing gift opening during that.  

    As she ages I'm sure I'll leave her but at this phase I'm going to go with the "when in Rome" feeling and will stay with her but will watch from afar.   When I see that the trend is to have the parents gone then I'll welcome that. 
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    @banana468 I am very aware that the times have changed concerning children's b-day parties! DD and were discussing it not long ago. She said that the she thinks the reason parents are stay is because it is a social time for them too. Most families are two parent/single parent working families so they look at b-day parties as a time to socialize with the parents of their children's friends/their own friends. When my children were small, most of the moms were stay at home moms. We had the parties in our own homes and it wasn't looked at as a time for the adults to socialize too. I definitely see why no gift opening would be done when adults are around for the party!

    I think the age= number of guest rule was something that was in Parents magazine (or similar parenting thing) for how to keep the party frenzy down to a minimum lol!
  • @banana468 I am very aware that the times have changed concerning children's b-day parties! DD and were discussing it not long ago. She said that the she thinks the reason parents are stay is because it is a social time for them too. Most families are two parent/single parent working families so they look at b-day parties as a time to socialize with the parents of their children's friends/their own friends. When my children were small, most of the moms were stay at home moms. We had the parties in our own homes and it wasn't looked at as a time for the adults to socialize too. I definitely see why no gift opening would be done when adults are around for the party!

    I think the age= number of guest rule was something that was in Parents magazine (or similar parenting thing) for how to keep the party frenzy down to a minimum lol!
    Maybe that's it.

    More and more parties I attend are out of the house.   But generally, that's also because more and more moms just don't want to add house cleaning to the list of things to do to have a party.


    ILoveBeachMusiccharlotte989875eileenrob
  • Just to piggy back on the parents socializing at the kids' birthday parties...it's totally true.  My parents and in-laws all remember just dropping us off and picking us up...

    Last party we brought our daughter to, there was tons of pizza, sangria, and beer.  And the kids were in the kid friendly jungle gym bouncing and burning energy.

    The parents more or less were talking about school zoning, how our kids don't listen and techniques on how to do whatever to get your kid to behave...and we all agreed that it was one of the most in-depth conversations we've had with adults in the longest time HAHAAH.
    short+sassyILoveBeachMusic
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