Dear Prudence,
My son died a month ago. His death wasn’t unexpected (although my husband and I are shattered). On his deathbed, he confessed to having a 5-year-old daughter. Her mother is married, and her husband believes he’s the father. He promised the mother he would stay away, and I think he might have taken the secret to his grave if he hadn’t been on drugs and frightened. My husband and I don’t know what to do with this information. We are friends with our alleged grandchild’s paternal grandparents, and we see her from time to time. I don’t know how to prepare for the next time I see her, knowing she is probably my son’s child. My husband wants to contact her mother and beg for visitation rights, but even in my grief I can tell this would erupt into a prolonged legal battle that might upend our granddaughter’s life. What do we do?
—Two Fathers