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Free-range neighborhood cat conundrum

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,

My neighbor has an outdoor cat, “Sparkle.” Our front yard is one of Sparkle’s favorite hangouts. Sparkle has no collar, her claws are torn and overgrown, she isn’t well-groomed, and I don’t know if she is vaccinated or fixed. But she’s been very friendly with me and my family since she first saw us. She likes to lounge at our place often, and I’ve seen her with scratches on occasion (I assume from run-ins with other neighborhood cats). The neighbor who I suspect owns her lives a few doors away, but we have never spoken—I don’t even know her real name. But I worry about Sparkle sometimes. Can I approach my neighbor about Sparkle, or should I just butt out? If I can, how should I ask about Sparkle without being intrusive or rude?

—Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Cat
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Re: Free-range neighborhood cat conundrum

  • banana468banana468 member
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    Not your circus - not your cat. 


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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    I agree with banana - just butt out. 
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    Yeah I agree. Unless this cat is obviously malnourished or hurt or something, leave it be.

    When I read the subject of this one, I was really hoping it was someone from my sister's town. They recently passed something that basically they take feral cats, check them out, spay or neuter them and if they're healthy, send them on their way. My friend's neighbor apparently disagreed with this and put these huge signs all over his house and yard saying things like "X Town is full of REDNECKS!" "THIS TOWN HAS GONE TO SHIT". 

    Even better, the house recently went up for sale by owner. So this guy wants someone to buy his house with all these signs in the yard about how terrible it is to live in this town. LOL 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    edited November 2018
    We have a free-range dog that lives across the street.  We don't mind that he runs around our yard, but he's usually skittish and just runs away when we are outside.  I can also tell him to 'go home' if he's hanging around and I don't want him to.  DH and I judge our neighbors sometimes (in the 'why have a dog if you don't let it in your house?' sense), but the dog is not malnourished and seems to be OK doing his thing.  We do hold our breath when we see him running back and forth across our busy street.  Our next door neighbors call him 'pancake' because they swear he's going to end up flattened one day.  So yeah, LW needs to just enjoy Sparkle's visits and leave it at that. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    I'd just pick up Sparkle and get her checked out/fixed/updated if she likes.  Then let her free range again.  You can always play dumb if the owner gets pissy.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    ShesSoCold said:
    Yeah I agree. Unless this cat is obviously malnourished or hurt or something, leave it be.

    When I read the subject of this one, I was really hoping it was someone from my sister's town. They recently passed something that basically they take feral cats, check them out, spay or neuter them and if they're healthy, send them on their way. My friend's neighbor apparently disagreed with this and put these huge signs all over his house and yard saying things like "X Town is full of REDNECKS!" "THIS TOWN HAS GONE TO SHIT". 

    Even better, the house recently went up for sale by owner. So this guy wants someone to buy his house with all these signs in the yard about how terrible it is to live in this town. LOL 


    WTH is wrong with people!  I know I overdose on Animal Planet shows, but every single thing I have ever read or seen about feral cats...especially feral cat colonies...is TNR: Trap, Neuter, Release.  It's healthiest for the cats.  It helps control the problem for the neighborhood.  There is literally no reason not to do this!  Argh!

    Yet, we have our own neighborhood cat lady.  We are friends with her, though better friends with her roommate.  My H has tried to have this discussion with her multiply times.  He would do all the work.  He would take care of arranging for the spaying/neutering.  Nope.  She refuses.

    I disagree with the PPs.  Unless she should definitely know this cat is her neighbors, I don't see anything wrong with just asking.  Like, "We enjoy all the visits from Sparkle.  Is she your cat or do you know if she belongs to anyone?  Because, if not, we'd love to make her our pet."

    However, if the LW already knows for sure this is the neighbor's cat, I wouldn't get involved, unless the cat needs medical attention or is looking malnourished/abused. 

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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    short+sassy said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    Yeah I agree. Unless this cat is obviously malnourished or hurt or something, leave it be.

    When I read the subject of this one, I was really hoping it was someone from my sister's town. They recently passed something that basically they take feral cats, check them out, spay or neuter them and if they're healthy, send them on their way. My friend's neighbor apparently disagreed with this and put these huge signs all over his house and yard saying things like "X Town is full of REDNECKS!" "THIS TOWN HAS GONE TO SHIT". 

    Even better, the house recently went up for sale by owner. So this guy wants someone to buy his house with all these signs in the yard about how terrible it is to live in this town. LOL 


    WTH is wrong with people!  I know I overdose on Animal Planet shows, but every single thing I have ever read or seen about feral cats...especially feral cat colonies...is TNR: Trap, Neuter, Release.  It's healthiest for the cats.  It helps control the problem for the neighborhood.  There is literally no reason not to do this!  Argh!

    Yet, we have our own neighborhood cat lady.  We are friends with her, though better friends with her roommate.  My H has tried to have this discussion with her multiply times.  He would do all the work.  He would take care of arranging for the spaying/neutering.  Nope.  She refuses.

    I disagree with the PPs.  Unless she should definitely know this cat is her neighbors, I don't see anything wrong with just asking.  Like, "We enjoy all the visits from Sparkle.  Is she your cat or do you know if she belongs to anyone?  Because, if not, we'd love to make her our pet."

    However, if the LW already knows for sure this is the neighbor's cat, I wouldn't get involved, unless the cat needs medical attention or is looking malnourished/abused. 

    I don’t think TNR is that clear cut. There’s lots of evidence it doesn’t really work to control the population and many places don’t come even close to doing enough neutering. In my neighborhood it’s resulted in an explosion of stray/feral cats. 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Maybe Sparkle is running and underground cat fight club in the neighborhood and using your yard to recover? 

    But seriously, you can take it to the vet and get it checked out but unless the cat looks really uncared for, id let it be. My cat looks ungroomed often because she hates the groomer and I’m lazy about giving her haircuts. I still love and care for her really well.  
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    STARMOON44 said:
    short+sassy said:
    ShesSoCold said:
    Yeah I agree. Unless this cat is obviously malnourished or hurt or something, leave it be.

    When I read the subject of this one, I was really hoping it was someone from my sister's town. They recently passed something that basically they take feral cats, check them out, spay or neuter them and if they're healthy, send them on their way. My friend's neighbor apparently disagreed with this and put these huge signs all over his house and yard saying things like "X Town is full of REDNECKS!" "THIS TOWN HAS GONE TO SHIT". 

    Even better, the house recently went up for sale by owner. So this guy wants someone to buy his house with all these signs in the yard about how terrible it is to live in this town. LOL 


    WTH is wrong with people!  I know I overdose on Animal Planet shows, but every single thing I have ever read or seen about feral cats...especially feral cat colonies...is TNR: Trap, Neuter, Release.  It's healthiest for the cats.  It helps control the problem for the neighborhood.  There is literally no reason not to do this!  Argh!

    Yet, we have our own neighborhood cat lady.  We are friends with her, though better friends with her roommate.  My H has tried to have this discussion with her multiply times.  He would do all the work.  He would take care of arranging for the spaying/neutering.  Nope.  She refuses.

    I disagree with the PPs.  Unless she should definitely know this cat is her neighbors, I don't see anything wrong with just asking.  Like, "We enjoy all the visits from Sparkle.  Is she your cat or do you know if she belongs to anyone?  Because, if not, we'd love to make her our pet."

    However, if the LW already knows for sure this is the neighbor's cat, I wouldn't get involved, unless the cat needs medical attention or is looking malnourished/abused. 

    I don’t think TNR is that clear cut. There’s lots of evidence it doesn’t really work to control the population and many places don’t come even close to doing enough neutering. In my neighborhood it’s resulted in an explosion of stray/feral cats. 
    Definitely true!  I didn't mean to imply that TNR solves the problem.  Stray cat colonies are still a big problem in a lot of places, even with groups doing TNR.  And it is not going to fix anything fast, because the adult cats are still going to be living in the colonies.  Plus, like any charitable organization, those groups can only do so much.  But at least it is an attempt to try and stem the flow.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    Maybe Sparkle is running and underground cat fight club in the neighborhood and using your yard to recover? 

    But seriously, you can take it to the vet and get it checked out but unless the cat looks really uncared for, id let it be. My cat looks ungroomed often because she hates the groomer and I’m lazy about giving her haircuts. I still love and care for her really well.  

    Awesome!

    Our dog usually keeps one ear up and one ear down.  My H and I joke that she always keeps her one ear up to be listening for messages from the secret Dog Network.  And we'll occasionally ask her questions about it, lol.  Like, "Izzy, has the Dog Network told you if it is going to be raining tomorrow?  What are their thoughts?"

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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    short+sassy said:
    charlotte989875 said:
    Maybe Sparkle is running and underground cat fight club in the neighborhood and using your yard to recover? 

    But seriously, you can take it to the vet and get it checked out but unless the cat looks really uncared for, id let it be. My cat looks ungroomed often because she hates the groomer and I’m lazy about giving her haircuts. I still love and care for her really well.  

    Awesome!

    Our dog usually keeps one ear up and one ear down.  My H and I joke that she always keeps her one ear up to be listening for messages from the secret Dog Network.  And we'll occasionally ask her questions about it, lol.  Like, "Izzy, has the Dog Network told you if it is going to be raining tomorrow?  What are their thoughts?"

    They have a whole world we know nothing about. 
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  • sparklepants41sparklepants41 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    charlotte989875 said:
    Maybe Sparkle is running and underground cat fight club in the neighborhood and using your yard to recover? 

    But seriously, you can take it to the vet and get it checked out but unless the cat looks really uncared for, id let it be. My cat looks ungroomed often because she hates the groomer and I’m lazy about giving her haircuts. I still love and care for her really well.  
    What's the #1 rule about Underground Cat Fight Club????


    Agree with PPs - if the cat looks otherwise fine, let it be.
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  • cupcait927cupcait927 member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    short+sassy said:
    charlotte989875 said:
    Maybe Sparkle is running and underground cat fight club in the neighborhood and using your yard to recover? 

    But seriously, you can take it to the vet and get it checked out but unless the cat looks really uncared for, id let it be. My cat looks ungroomed often because she hates the groomer and I’m lazy about giving her haircuts. I still love and care for her really well.  

    Awesome!

    Our dog usually keeps one ear up and one ear down.  My H and I joke that she always keeps her one ear up to be listening for messages from the secret Dog Network.  And we'll occasionally ask her questions about it, lol.  Like, "Izzy, has the Dog Network told you if it is going to be raining tomorrow?  What are their thoughts?"

    They have a whole world we know nothing about. 
    H and I have a running joke that our dog Fred has secret dog parties at our house while we're at work. 
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