Dear Prudence,
I recently found out a family friend has an illness that will probably kill her soon. We aren’t very close, but I want to reach out in some way. If we were closer or she lived nearby, I’d offer to help out, but that’s not really possible. It would really just be a note to offer sympathy. I’m not sure how to phrase this tactfully, when it’s clear I’m only getting in touch to say, in effect, “Sorry you’re dying.” But I can imagine it would be terrible to be sick, lonely, or afraid and have people vanish just because it’s awkward or painful to address it directly. Is there some way of framing this that offers kindness without beating someone over the head with their own diagnosis?
—Terminal Etiquette