Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?

daniandron · February 2012

I recently heard that it is proper etiquette to use "congratulations" when speaking to a groom, and "best wishes" in addressing a bride. This is news to me; can anyone provide any insight on the reasoning behind this tradition?

graysquirrel · February 2012

It is because the man is the one who is supposed to have gotten the real catch, not the other way around. That is why you congratulate the man vs the woman.

chelseamb11 · February 2012

interesting, I'd never heard of this before.

daniandron · February 2012

Ah, I see. Thanks, makes sense!

Ash61612 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_congratulations-to-the-groom-best-wishes-to-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1db81886-6672-4606-b30f-2abbbd7d37dfPost:96edc0e9-7cc4-4719-9414-95b0665a2eda">Re: Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]interesting, I'd never heard of this before.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
me either....

midgetthemighty · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_congratulations-to-the-groom-best-wishes-to-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1db81886-6672-4606-b30f-2abbbd7d37dfPost:96edc0e9-7cc4-4719-9414-95b0665a2eda">Re: Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]interesting, I'd never heard of this before.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

Me either and I find it silly. I consider my FI to be an awesome catch.

adamar15 · February 2012

I only know about this because of Gilmore Girls.

dubird · February 2012

Probally because it's congrats to the groom for the great catch, best wishes to the bride to put up with him?

jemmini6 · February 2012

I only heard about this during my bachelorette party. H's best man's wife came out with us and the first guy that told me 'congratulations', she gave the little speech to him that "congratulations are for the groom, best wishes are for the bride'. Then it became a running joke all night that any time someone told me 'congratulations', she'd correct them.

...I don't think there was a single person who told me "best wishes".

lobster93 · February 2012

I had never heard of it before either, until I went in to the jewelry store to purchase our wedding bands. The sales girl was new and said congratulations to me. Her manager heard her and corrected her right there in front of me. I felt bad for the sales girl, cuz I had never heard of it either.

pinkbunny8385 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_congratulations-to-the-groom-best-wishes-to-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1db81886-6672-4606-b30f-2abbbd7d37dfPost:78b3b501-56f5-4460-8a31-e46863c45f53">Re: Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride? : Exactly what I was thinking.
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

this exactly. only reason I know this. and it's funny. I was trying to figure out what was said to the bride for the past couple weeks.

gailpete · February 2012

It goes back to the time when women were out to "catch a husband". To congratulate her on actually catching one was considered bad etiquette because it somehow implied that it's amazing she was able to do so. At least that's what my mom told me, many years ago.

DramaGeek · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_congratulations-to-the-groom-best-wishes-to-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1db81886-6672-4606-b30f-2abbbd7d37dfPost:63279867-de1d-4ea3-a3fa-589f55ab3afd">Re: Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]It goes back to the time when women were out to "catch a husband". To congratulate her on actually catching one was considered bad etiquette because it somehow implied that it's amazing she was able to do so. At least that's what my mom told me, many years ago.
Posted by gailpete[/QUOTE]

This is how my grandma explained it to me when H and I got engaged

miranda1211 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_congratulations-to-the-groom-best-wishes-to-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1db81886-6672-4606-b30f-2abbbd7d37dfPost:bc88ab33-eac2-4dac-a80d-2831a5105f3f">Re: Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]It is because the man is the one who is supposed to have gotten the real catch, not the other way around. That is why you congratulate the man vs the woman.
Posted by graysquirrel[/QUOTE]

This is what I have heard... my mother corrected me and told me this when I was filling out a card for a wedding shower in high school.

Someone once told me that, after the wedding, you can say congrats to both, but I don't know how valid that is.

I always says "Best Wishes," or something along that line, and all of the cards we have gotten so far have as well - but it might be more common in Texas/the south than the rest of the country. People have said congrats in-person, and it doesn't offend me - as one PP said, I think that my future hubby is quite the catch, as well!

afeliz79 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_congratulations-to-the-groom-best-wishes-to-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1db81886-6672-4606-b30f-2abbbd7d37dfPost:d10d5e81-8570-46d3-aa45-4b1408580ca6">Re: Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]I only know about this because of Gilmore Girls.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

<div>That's what I was going to say! I learned it from Emily Gilmore.</div>

graysquirrel · February 2012

The only reason that I knew about it is because of my obsession with Victorian culture. It is in all of my 19th century etiquette books. The man is the one who is the lucky one to have gotten to marry such a fine, accomplished woman.

Carla1019 · February 2012

I've heard it before and assumed because the man has to ask for her hand in marriage. The father could say no. So when you say congratulations you are speaking towards his accomplishment of gaining approval.

specialk84 · February 2012

I've heard of this before (and not on GG). I usually just say, "I'm so happy for you!"

xmansmommy2010 · February 2012

Huh. Interesting.

I really DO learn something new every day on TK!

JennLax · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_congratulations-to-the-groom-best-wishes-to-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1db81886-6672-4606-b30f-2abbbd7d37dfPost:d10d5e81-8570-46d3-aa45-4b1408580ca6">Re: Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]I only know about this because of Gilmore Girls.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

Ditto! Oh Emily... so sassy hahah

kat22885 · February 2012

My Mom has always been into making sure I knew what proper etiquetee was. This was something I learned early.

I always forget who gets told what, so I just cover my bases and say "Congrats & Best Wishes!"

JoelandLeann · February 2012

Interesting. Learned something new today!

Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?

Re: Congratulations to the groom, Best Wishes to the bride?

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