Illinois-Chicago

Considering Eloping

FI and I are considering eloping. We would elope in Kansas City (where we currently live) in February and then have a religious ceremony and reception in September in Chicago (where we both grew up and our families/friends live). I already have a dress and we have a venue and DJ booked for September. We are considering doing it to save money (as we are not living together until we get married for religious reasons and to avoid family drama), and stress related to obtaining our marriage license. Guess I just need advice....

Re: Considering Eloping

  • ..I don't know.  I do not want to sound rude, at all,  and don't mean to be - but if it is for religious reasons, wouldn't you want a church traditional wedding?  I would hate to see you guys rush into it.  To top it all off, to have a party a half a year later seems gift grabby to me.

    BUT on the other hand, we considered running away from it all.  It IS stressful.  It is nice just ot be the two of you and getting it done.  

    If I were you, I wouldn't do it.  That's my advice.
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  • If you do elope then I'd just have a reception afterwards. Idk what religion you are, but I know if we did elope I don't think our church would allow us to have a religious ceremony after we were already married. I've never looked into it but you might want to ask to see if you will even be able to do it after you're already married because some religions really frown upon getting married outside the church but like I said it all depends so you would have to look into it. There have been times where I've wanted to just go elope too because it is stressful but you have to do what is right for you. Doing it for stress might not be the best idea but if you both would rather elope and if that's what works for you then do it. Personally I wouldn't do it or if I did I would just have a reception not another ceremony.
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  • I would personally wait, and get married as planned. I don't think it's the same to elope now, and honestly I think it would be weird to have another wedding/vow renewal a few months later. And, not to be rude, but if you're waiting to live together until after marriage for religious reasons, I don't think that eloping, without a religious ceremony with your family and friends there, is a good alternative to a tradtional wedding. If you want to get married sooner than September, by all means see what you can do about moving the wedding date closer. Since some things are booked already, you would need to talk to your vendors and venue to see if they have a date available sooner than September. I don't think you'll ultimately be happy if you rush it because of stress and money though, and you may regret not having your family there at your real wedding.
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