Hurt

cbs_2135 · June 2010

I have purchased my dress and was storing it at my maid of honors (my sister in law) house since my fi and i live together. So from my niece I find out that she has been wearing my wedding dress around the house. I am so hurt and upset that she would take something so special from me and put MY wedding dress on behind my back.If she wanted to go to a wedding place and try on dresses and pretend then I would have gone with her not a big deal. Am I being a bridzilla or is this justified and should I say anything to her about it?

jennylove810 · June 2010

I think your dress needs to find a new home. Other than that, it's really just kind of creepy that she's wearing your dress around. Ew.

But you're also over-reacting just a teeny bit. It's an uncool thing for her to do, and she needs to cut the crap, but to say she's taken something so special from you is slightly melodramatic. It's just a dress.

LesPaul · June 2010

Agree w/ Jenny - find another place to store your dress. Yes, it's weird that she would wear it around the house, but it isn't cursed or anything. Just make sure it doesn't need cleaning before you wear it.

waltzingmatilda13 · June 2010

Okay, she's a nutter. What exactly is she doing in this dress? Cleaning? Watching TV?

I see that you're upset, but it's not a huge deal. Move the dress to a new home and make sure that there is not any damage to the dress.

I have a feeling SIL is going to be embarassed to find out that you know and I think that'll be punishment enough for her.

BeeBee22 · June 2010

I agree that it's completely creepy and inappropriate (and unsanitary). On top of that, it's a big investment and she could easily damage it!

If it were me, I would go pick up the dress today. I would also "fire" the MOH for being a creep and an idiot, but I know most people will disagree with me about that. It should be checked for damage and she should pay to have it cleaned, unless you don't want to risk a problem with any possible cleaner damage.

If there's nowhere else to store the dress, and you have a phobia about your FI seeing it, just make sure it's in a non-see-through bag and keep it at home. If it's currently in a clear bag, you can buy opaque dress storage bags, or make one out of leaf bags or something to go over the clear one. Presumably your FI is a grown up and won't try to sneak a peek at the dress.

jelique7 · June 2010

yah that's a little weird...I would be disturbed to find out my SIL was wearing my dress..one quick try on to fantasize is one thing but wearing it around the house sweeping the floor and making lunch in it and stuff like that disturbing.
I agree with PP find it a new home...its not the end of the world but its kind of like WTH was she thinking
Did she just wear it once or is trying on your dress a nightly ritual?

AmandalovesAl · June 2010

I feel bad for this woman!! I'm assuming she never had the wedding of her dreams and is using this opportunity to pretend. That being said, i agree with PP that once she finds out you know, she will be mortified. You don't need to do anything else, just find the dress a new home, make sure it doesn't need to be cleaned, and forget the whole thing.

Danielle&Nanne · June 2010

How angry would you be if she damaged it while wearing it? Would she pay for repairs and cleaning?

I'd move it out asap. I'd also be angry that a friend would do that. That's like asking a friend if you can park your car at their house and find out they've been pulling a Ferris Bueller in it.

loop0406 · June 2010

wow, kinda creepy. She is your sis in law so I suggest to take the dress and store it elsewhere and not cause a big scene about it. Make sure it's clean !

emarston1 · June 2010

Anyone else think of that episode of Friends where Monica wears Emily's dress around the house and just sits around drinking a beer in it?

But anyways, yes that is very weird and I found find a new home for it ASAP. But before you do, inspect it to make sure she didn't damage it.

vsgal · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_hurt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:4497ce88-ed7e-48a5-a435-19950882dd41Post:2d37decf-2a87-485e-a5eb-61e6a63b2f70">Re: Hurt</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree that it's completely creepy and inappropriate (and unsanitary). On top of that, it's a big investment and she could easily damage it! If it were me, I would go pick up the dress today. <strong> I would also "fire" the MOH for being a creep and an idiot, but I know most people will disagree with me about that</strong>. It should be checked for damage and she should pay to have it cleaned, unless you don't want to risk a problem with any possible cleaner damage. If there's nowhere else to store the dress, and you have a phobia about your FI seeing it, just make sure it's in a non-see-through bag and keep it at home. If it's currently in a clear bag, you can buy opaque dress storage bags, or make one out of leaf bags or something to go over the clear one. Presumably your FI is a grown up and won't try to sneak a peek at the dress.
Posted by BeeBee22[/QUOTE]

Do not listen to this! You don't ever fire anybody from a wedding party unless they try to kill you or they sleep with your FI.

Beebee--you give some whack advice.

deepcovejackie · June 2010

Move it, and don't cause a scene. She's your FSIL, and although she's a little nutty, she's going to be family. Don't fire her as MOH (as bee bee advised-I know you didn't say that). You'll be the one that ends up looking bad, not her.

tldh · June 2010

Is anyone else remembering that episode of Friends where Monica is wearing Ross' fiancee Emily's dress around her apartment?

EDIT - sorry Emarston. I didn't see you post. Nonetheless, I think this is MUD

arthomas82 · June 2010

I'm not a Bridezilla and that would bother me A LOT. With that being said, I would have it professionally cleaned and find it a new home.

BettyMae813 · June 2010

Oh my word! How dare she wear your dress! This is not like borrowing a skirt or a top for every day wearing! I hope you can take it somewhere else without causing any problems in your family. I don't know what someone would be thinking to wear someone else's wedding dress!

kpwedkk · June 2010

Move it, put it in an airtight hanging container - they have these at the Container store, or Target. And keep it in the back of your closet.

kelly&wayne · June 2010

OP - I can completely understand why you are hurt and upset. I would be as well. I think people who say "whatever, no big deal, it's just a dress" would likely have a strong reaction as well if they found out someone was doing the same thing to their dress. I know I would! Sure, technically it is "just a dress", but it signifies so much more to us on the day that we wear it. It's not like we would wear the dress around before our wedding day. It seems like it would take the "special" away from it on the day you put it on for real. I would not fire her from being your MOH, but I would definitely move it to a new location, have HER pay to have it professionally cleaned and tell her how you feel. It doesn't need to be a confrontation, but if you don't say something you may hold onto the negative feelings. This way, you'll be able to get your negative feelings off your chest and start fresh.

shoegal715 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_hurt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:4497ce88-ed7e-48a5-a435-19950882dd41Post:71e63259-6e29-48af-ae66-379274c4f507">Re: Hurt</a>:
[QUOTE]Anyone else think of that episode of Friends where Monica wears Emily's dress around the house and just sits around drinking a beer in it? But anyways, yes that is very weird and I found find a new home for it ASAP. But before you do, inspect it to make sure she didn't damage it.
Posted by emarston1[/QUOTE]

<div>That's exactly what first came to mind. LOL - I watched that episode last night.</div><div>
</div><div>OP: that's creepy and very weird. Move the dress out.</div>

megk8oz · June 2010

Don't "fire" her as somebody told you. That's just going to cause all sorts of family drama, and trust me, you'll be a lot happier at Thanksgiving for the rest of your life if you keep her in the WP as your MOH.

Anyway, I'm not going to lie, if I found out one of my sisters was doing this, I'd be pissed. But not to the point where I'd be going toe-to-toe with her over it. It's creepy, but it's also kind of sad.

Move the dress to a new place. Before you do, just inspect it to make sure it's in tact, that it's not ripped or stained anywhere. If everything's fine, just move the dress, and move on ... she probably will be too embarassed to ask why. If there's something wrong with it, then you should mention it to her, and ask her to pay for the repairs.

Miss_Sophia · June 2010

Ok, seriously, that's creepy and not right at all. However, I had to laugh when I read your post because it reminded me of the Friends ep where Monica puts on Emily's wedding dress (Emily was the English gal that Ross was going to marry). She wore it to clean the apartment and Pheobe and Rachel wore dresses too.

But definitely, your dress needs a new home. Could you leave it at your parents house or an aunts' house?

miah_23_ncb · June 2010

I would be upset too. Like the others have said move the dress asap. But i do not think you should fire her from MOH, I think that wouldcause way too much drama

lisaD26 · June 2010

I bet she put it on once just to get a peek. I'd leave it alone... for now

at your wedding I'd say something like "Did it look this good on you?" ... haha. No, not really. It's not worth the drama, just get your dress and take it home.

Now, if FI was playing dress up I'd be a little worried...

Don't freak out over the small stuff.

lmansir10 · June 2010

Do not listen to this! You don't ever fire anybody from a wedding party unless they try to kill you or they sleep with your FI. -vsgal

Haha that's TOO FUNNY!!!!! Good advice though. Just move the dress to a new home. Especially if you two usually get along. Creepy doesn't jump in my head but more if the dress got damadged I'd be pissed. Plus I'm wondering how old your niece is... maybe she just tried the dress on once or twice (Ok shouldn't have done it anyway but she did, oh well). But find a new home, simple solution.

topcatiom · July 2010

also, depending on how old your niece is, could she be wrong, maybe she just tried it on (creepy but not criminal) or held it up to her, you never know-best not to fall out over it especially as she is your new family

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

Honestly, I don't really see the big deal. But then, I never put all this extra importance onto a few yards of white cloth that so many women seem to. I'd just inspect the dress, make her pay for any necessary cleaning or repair, and move on with my life.

It's a DRESS. It's not like she slept with your FI just to try it out.

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