How are you asking your Bms?

Stina51286 · May 2012

I've asked two of my girls so far. One girl I have been friends with for 7 years. We met while I worked as a manager at Aeropostale and she was an associate working there getting through college. When she got done with college she moved back to Madison which is 3 hours from where I live. We don't see each other often but when we do its like we talked yesterday. I foudn a cute card and wrote out this whole long story about she's always been there, listened to me cry, was happy when I was happy and in the end I asked her to stand up.

My second girl Ive been friends with for 3 years now. We've had our ups and downs so this was a really hard decision to ask her. We went through her troubling time of her breaking up with her baby's dad since he was cheating on her, she got upset when FI and I got engaged because well she was with the same guy for basically 5 years at the time and nothing. But now she's amazing and even helping with my sister's shower and bachelorette party. She also helped me through a scary time most recently. The drs thought I had cancer and luckily I don't but she was there for me the two weeks of testing that left me in complete freakout mode. I also asked her in a card stating that we've been through our ups and downs, we don't always agree, but we always find a way to be there for one another. That she has been amazing the last few months and standing by me with trying to figure out what was wrong and never once let me be negative. The last sentence said "so will you follow me in my next life changing moment and be by my side again?" She was so confused at first but then she let out this big squee! It was funny.

So how did you make your decision and how have/are you asking them?

LaurenGrace12 · May 2012

My MOH lives over 2 hours from me, so I sent her a package that had one of those hinged picture frames that could hold 5 pictures (i think). In each frame I put a picture of us throughout the years in chronological order and the year the picture was taken. In the last frame, there was a note that said "Will you be my maid of honor?" with 2013. I also wrote a separate note that said "Read me first". In the note, I wrote her some personal stuff then I told her to open the frame. She seemed to like it. I am going to ask my bridesmaids the same way, but probably with a smaller frame. One that only holds 2 pictures or something. I have a nice picture of our little clique from when we were in high school.

shannie11 · May 2012

It was easy to know who would be in my bridal party. I have three sisters who I am close to. Over the years they have become my best friends. I asked my oldest sister to by my MOH because I was hers. I also knew I wanted FI's sister in the wedding. She always made me feel like part of the family. I then knew that I could not be without my two best friends. They are from different social circles I have but they know each other casually and get a long. I asked all my bridesmaids to join me for dinner at a local restaurant one night (only my MOH couldn't be there she was in FL visiting my parents). I brought hot pink bags for everyone. I then had everyone open the box first and then open the card after, all at the same time. This is what ti looked like. Everyone loved. Even when I went to pick the cards up at walmart after I had printed them, the sales girl said it was the cutest idea she had ever seen!

lconoran · May 2012

Such adorable ideas! I haven't asked mine. I'm a bit torn but I have time. I'm sure I'll be stealing someones idea when I do ask though

)

Stina51286 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_how-are-you-asking-your-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:e3ad3d74-0a9c-47e4-9b7c-18f5d7242aaePost:cec206b2-1981-46cc-bc75-637ba05876dc">Re: How are you asking your Bms?</a>:
[QUOTE]Such adorable ideas! I haven't asked mine. I'm a bit torn but I have time. I'm sure I'll be stealing someones idea when I do ask though :o)
Posted by lconoran[/QUOTE]

I am torn on what to do too. I need either three or four girls. Two picked out. The third I think I know but the 4th I am debating between my sister and FI's sister since I am not that close to either. FI sister irritated me with a comment back before we were engaged and never takes the time to hang out with me/us even though I/we invite her and her FI.

lconoran · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_how-are-you-asking-your-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:e3ad3d74-0a9c-47e4-9b7c-18f5d7242aaePost:c349f54e-92a7-4ce0-969c-1b0dc66fe4bb">Re: How are you asking your Bms?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How are you asking your Bms? : I am torn on what to do too. I need either three or four girls. Two picked out. The third I think I know but the 4th I am debating between my sister and FI's sister since I am not that close to either. FI sister irritated me with a comment back before we were engaged and never takes the time to hang out with me/us even though I/we invite her and her FI.
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

Hmm...yeah that stinks. Why do you have to have 3 or 4? It seems like a lot of people do uneven sides these days. I had never thought about uneven sides before reading around on here. Think about that maybe rather than having either yours or FI's sister in it, who seem to already have pissed you off :o)

So immediately after getting engaged my sister goes into complete MOH mode, rightfully so. There was no question about that. FI has 3 sisters. I really like them, but I'm not overly close to them. I have always been of the mindset that family should be in the wedding before friends. Not right or wrong, just the way I feel...or felt. I'm not sure! The other piece is that 2 of FI sis' are gay, one of which DOES NOT wear dresses. So we even thought about asking the 2 to be BM's and asking the 1 sister if she would officiate (she did the online certification thing several years ago for a friends wedding, and has actually already mentioned it to US). So there's a few levels of thought here. I'm just not sure if they're close enough to me for me to ask this of them? But I want to THINK they are because we are going to be family the rest of our lives! We've thought about just doing a MOH and a BM to make it easy too. FI would have 6 groomsmen if he had his way! I told him go ahead but he's definitely of the opinion that sides should be even.

Stina51286 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_how-are-you-asking-your-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:e3ad3d74-0a9c-47e4-9b7c-18f5d7242aaePost:bbba35b9-7e44-44cf-af74-55e44e1be6de">Re: How are you asking your Bms?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How are you asking your Bms? : Hmm...yeah that stinks. Why do you have to have 3 or 4? It seems like a lot of people do uneven sides these days. I had never thought about uneven sides before reading around on here. Think about that maybe rather than having either yours or FI's sister in it, who seem to already have pissed you off :o) So immediately after getting engaged my sister goes into complete MOH mode, rightfully so. There was no question about that. FI has 3 sisters. I really like them, but I'm not overly close to them. I have always been of the mindset that family should be in the wedding before friends. Not right or wrong, just the way I feel...or felt. I'm not sure! The other piece is that 2 of FI sis' are gay, one of which DOES NOT wear dresses. So we even thought about asking the 2 to be BM's and asking the 1 sister if she would officiate (she did the online certification thing several years ago for a friends wedding, and has actually already mentioned it to US). So there's a few levels of thought here. I'm just not sure if they're close enough to me for me to ask this of them? But I want to THINK they are because we are going to be family the rest of our lives! We've thought about just doing a MOH and a BM to make it easy too. FI would have 6 groomsmen if he had his way! I told him go ahead but he's definitely of the opinion that sides should be even.
Posted by lconoran[/QUOTE]

We don't have to have 3 or 4. We originally went with three on each side. My stepfather cannot fully walk me down the aisle so my brother will walk me 3/4 of the way and hand me off to my stepdad who in return will "give" me away. I will then have my brother walk over and stand up with the guys. For sure I want three on my side but I am on the fense with a 4th. But even that third person is hard to determine what I will do.

Having the one sister officiate would be cool! My Uncle who is a retired Marine is going to officate ours. He only does family and the kicker is he wears a kilt. Pretty funny.

shannie11 · May 2012

we are not having even sides. Fi is having three and I will be having 6. I think during the ceremony the guys will already be up there and then have the girls just walk by themselves. As for the reception, the guys will each be introduced with two girls. People will only see it for five minutes. I am not overly stressed about it. These are the people we are closest too.

lconoran · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_how-are-you-asking-your-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:e3ad3d74-0a9c-47e4-9b7c-18f5d7242aaePost:f11ba1e2-b4bb-45f9-950e-963051463577">Re: How are you asking your Bms?</a>:
[QUOTE]we are not having even sides. Fi is having three and I will be having 6. I think during the ceremony the guys will already be up there and then have the girls just walk by themselves. As for the reception, the guys will each be introduced with two girls. People will only see it for five minutes. I am not overly stressed about it. These are the people we are closest too.
Posted by shannie11[/QUOTE]

I think this is just what I was hoping for! I think in my mind I would LIKE more than 1 person each in our party, but I don't know exactly who we are closest to, well me really. FI has his "fist" of best friends he calls them. But boys are different Lol I hope that when I'm ready to ask, that it will be his sisters that I am closest to, but we'll see.

Still stealing your guys ideas though LOL

dewingedpixie · May 2012

I asked via email and phone. They all live in the area

. We just agreed on their dresses this weekend. Very excited.

Stina51286 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_how-are-you-asking-your-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:e3ad3d74-0a9c-47e4-9b7c-18f5d7242aaePost:7eeec4ec-170d-4912-a528-fcd0bc57b0ee">Re: How are you asking your Bms?</a>:
[QUOTE]I asked via email and phone. They all live in the area :). We just agreed on their dresses this weekend. Very excited.
Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]

I have one dress in particular in mind and that is why I need to ask my girls. Its a 2009 design and I am terrified it will get discountinued. Two girls tried it on already, one smaller girl, the other a somewhat bigger girl, so I know that it will look good on all of them and it fits my "theme".

dewingedpixie · June 2012

Stina what is your theme?

I'm getting a little flack over mine but I dont care. I cant wait we're paying and its what we want so it should be fun

shan527 · September 2012

I am debating how to ask my BMs as well. It is unspoken understanding that my BF will be my party but I want to ask her any way along with the rest. I am planning on five total, one of which is my SO's sister. We have decided not to have a MOH or Best Man as everyone in our parties is important to us. Instead, we are going to have his sister and my brother be the last two to walk out in front of me and then cross opposite sides so my brother will stand next to me and his sister next to him. We each only have one sibiling and are very close to them so we thought it would be perfect.

As for the dresses, I am planning on picking the designer, the length, fabric and four colors to choose from. They will be free to select the style that best works for them in one of the four colors. Hopefully it will end in a nice variety but be tied together through the fabric and shades.

How are you asking your Bms?

Re: How are you asking your Bms?

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