I was at my mom's house and she gave told me this joke and I had to share it with you. Especially with shopping season officially starting....
Why women shouldn't take men shopping...
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out. Equally unfortune, my wife is like most women-she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarms clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-mintue intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'Caution-Wet Floor' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring a pillow and blankets fromt eh bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screaming, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right at the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the Hunting Department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted aroung the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the Auto Department, he pratices his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an annoucement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!!'
and last but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toliet paper in here'. One of the clerks passed out.
I told my FI that if he ever did any of these then I was going to leave him there, lol. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.
