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Knottie73930905 said:My parents were invited to a wedding of a second step-cousin. Now that sounds like a stretch, but our extended family is pretty close. My siblings and I are all out of the house, grown adults. I'm engaged, middle has live-in boyfriend, oldest has no interest in marriage. We (thought we) weren't invited because, hey, the happy couple has to draw the line somewhere, right? We were never sent any shower invitations, Save the Date, or a wedding invite.Then, my stepmom contacted me late last week to inform me that my FI and I were in fact invited to the wedding (in 6 weeks). The MOB, my aunt, told her so over the phone when they were chatting after my parents' invite had been lost in the mail. I questioned this because we weren't sent any previous mail about it and suggested my aunt, the MOB just took a guess without the guest list in front of her. Stepmom insisted that we were included, but was cagey about the invites she'd been sent, saying she couldn't remember if our names were on them or not. I said how unusual it was to send a invite to just the parents and not individual invitations to the grown children, who are all out of the house with significant others themselves. Stepmom just dismissed it as a way to save postage.Because we're planning a wedding ourselves, we know you can't just "eh give or take" five people. This was a mistake on someone's part. Either we were accidentally left off every previous item mailed, or we were never invited in the first place.My fiance and I would be able to go, we live in the area, but my siblings probably wouldn't be able to get reasonable enough airfare to make it in. My gut reaction was that this was all wishful thinking on my parents' part or that they finagled or pressured the MOB into including us and now the couple are just too polite to say no. We were included on parents' RSVP card, and have a room in their block, so we won't be coming unannounced.
I also wonder if this is us being on a secondary list and included at the last moment, just their way of keeping the numbers down. I wouldn't judge, I know how hard it is! I'm horrified that we could be racking up some massive bad wedding karma, by attending a wedding I didn't think we were invited to. I need some outside opinions on what is happening here and what we should do.
It's hard to say exactly what happened here, but I would send a congratulatory card (and perhaps a small gift) and call it a day. Sounds a bit too awkward for me.
Ultimately, it's up to your husband,but were I in his shoes, I'd skip it without a thought. This is NOT a big deal AT ALL.
MairePoppy said:When you firm up your menu, I'd love to hear about the tea. I've been to many teas and the finger foods were ample enough to constitute a meal.
rosecoloredglasses81 said:So for my average guest I'm making up hangover kits and bags of candy for the kids. What should I do for older guests like my grandmother and great Aunt and Uncle? IDK!!
Give everyone some yummy chocolate, a few gourmet cookies, or a slice of cake in a box. A hangover kit is going to go in the trash if it's even taken home. I say this from experience, not to hurt your feelings.