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I'm also the only one serving in our family. You're definitely not alone!
Please don't do this. I agree with TX. Every time I've seen it done, it was just offensive.I did B-pics for my H, and I bought a tank top that reminded him of work in a cute way without being disrespectful. I just bought a ton of lingerie from F21 (it was cute/sexy/inexpensive) and did 5 looks. It was so much fun, have a good time!
Me and my FH did the exact same thing. Because of our position (I was about to commission and he is enlisted) the only way we would 1) be stationed together and 2) not be called for fraternization was to do the "legal" thing early. To us, it's just paperwork, and didn't even really count. We literally just walked into the judges office, explained our situation, and he signed the paperwork with no vows or words or anything, which is just what we wanted.Was he enlisted when you met? Could you have delayed your commissioning? Because I was in the exact same situation. As a leader at heart, and since my H is already a leader, we chose do as we do. You chose do as I say, not as I do, and that's BULL for a military officer. Absolute bull. Lead by example in the future. I HATE even more when female officers pull this. You are one of the few, and you think you're extra special? You are, but not in the way you think. There are still men, in every branch, who think women don't belong in the military. Females in should do everything in their power to be above reproach, to be more honorable. It's that old feminist quote, "I have to do my job twice as well to get paid half as much as a man." It's not fair, but it's reality Princess. You have enlisted females looking up to you and males looking to you as THE example of what female officers are. You represent every other female officer, and by doing what you wanted, letting your marriage be due to anything besides being 100% prepared and wanting to get married, you failed them.To me, and is seems to you, there is a difference between marriage and being legally married. A marriage involves a spiritual commitment and is a state of being, and that cannot be contained to legal realms. Heck, there are plenty of people who get "married" for things such as residency and immigration. I'm just saying, they are two different things.In the end, it's between you and your future husband, and no one else. Good luck to you!
You're not the only one who's made this decision in their lives, and many, to their personal detriment, choose leadership by example. True leadership is about actions, not words.