JediElizabeth member


Last Active
  • Re: When is it okay to not send and invite when a STD has been sent.

    I agree that the relationship will be ended with your boss, and not on good terms, so you don't have to invite her.

    However, I would still invite the coworkers who got STDs. Assuming your relationship is otherwise fine with them, these are people who you may use as references, network with, find new jobs through, etc. Especially if you're unemployed, it's even more important to retain good relationships with them.

    Good luck! Hopefully you find something new quickly!

  • Re: Has anyone gone "no centerpiece" for a formal wedding?

    We only had centerpieces because it was included in our venue in our formal-ish wedding. We DID splurge and get porcelain TARDIS and Death Star cookie jars because I was not into the whole flower thing and I wanted our personalities to come through (they went home with our wedding party...PLUS their actual gifts). 

    But really, I would have skipped them and crossed them off the budget if the flowers weren't included.
  • Re: Christian blessing to the 4 directions

    Unless you or your FI are Native American or pagan:

    If I went to this wedding and saw this integrated into an otherwise Christian ceremony, I'd probably walk out, tbh. It would be like a Wiccan coven using a crucifix to represent the god next to a chalice for the goddess on an altar: not only does it not fit, but it's incredibly disrespectful to borrow a portion of a religion without respect for what it signifies.

    In this case, blessing the 4 directions tends to signify that the gods/divinity are everywhere, in a pantheistic, nature-centered religion. It also acknowledges the divinity of nature, as opposed to the divinity of a god which is removed from it. This is diametrically opposed to Christianity as I learned it.

    I know paganism isn't as heterogeneous as Christianity, and there's a place for blending religions, but I don't think this is it.
  • Re: Unique Name Change Dilemma: Mother's Maiden Name as Middle Name

    I'm assuming your mother kept her name because she's a feminist. I did the same, for that reason. 

    One of the most important (IMHO) feminist perspectives is that women individually decide what is best for themselves. Want to skip kids and work? Awesome,  me too! Want to be a stay at home mom? Awesome, you do you!

    Same thing for names. Pick the name that works for YOU. Think about your identity and what YOU want your name to mean. Choose that. Then thank your mom for raising someone who makes her own choices, even when others are trying to persuade her otherwise. 

    *edited for typo
  • Re: Cake-only reception, followed by non-included dinner??

    I'm not sure if anyone has addressed this, but something I would have liked to realize at 22 or 23:

    You're an adult. You're doing an adult thing by getting married. It's between you and your FI. Your parents may want something for you, but too bad. Did you choose a major based on what they wanted, or a career? Why should they choose the kind of wedding you have - something you'll (hopefully) only get to do once.

    "No" is a complete sentence. You can say it to your parents. Unless they have strings to pull (paying for bills or whatever), all they can do is be upset, and then get over it. If they do have those strings, well, maybe getting married is the right time to cut them and start paying for those things on your own.

    You're WAY better off telling your parents no, eloping (or having a small ceremony with just them, and then going out to a small dinner for 6 after) than spending thousands of dollars that could go to what YOU want it to go to. You'll literally save over $4k to travel with, and you'll be asserting your independence as young adults creating your own family.