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Call everyone and tell them.
Keep going to counseling.
Stop posting anything wedding-related on Facebook.
Yes, you need seats for everyone. That's Hosting 101 - don't make anyone eat without a seat. Have fewer items in your backyard or invite fewer guests, but everyone has to be able to sit while eating.
Yes, your sister should have asked for and respected your budget.
I would simply tell her that you can't afford the dress she selected.
But don't bring up your own wedding. It's not relevant to the situation now (although it wasn't your sister's or any other bridesmaid's job to "help" with your wedding. That's what paid vendors are for).
I would report her "But you're so young" comments to the doctor or whoever is in charge of the clinic. They were unprofessional.