- Last Active
UPDATE!!!!! Fi spoke with his mom and she didn't know we were never asked. She is mortified. Now she also know some of what my bachelorette party entails and doesn't necessarily feel comfortable either. She is going to talk to fsil and let her know why lines were crossed and where. You guys were right. One issue at a time really helped his mom see where we are coming from. She's really upset we got out in this position.Report15
Thank you super helpful. Ok so plan is fi is going to talk only about this to his mom and sister. His sister's are there to help out if she goes to them and says we are being unfair or unreasonable. In about a week I will approach the babysitter husband issue as a number thing because I told her I would get back to her after I got numbers. Also my fiance is terrible with numbers so she knows I'm handling that part. Keep it focused on the subject on hand. Keep firm. Got it. Don't bring up past issues. You guys are awesome. Thank you for understanding. It is a great feeling knowing I'm not crazy for all this.
One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is that this is your FI's family. It is HIS responsibility to talk to his family about these issues. Blood talks to blood.
Like other PPs have mentioned, you and your FI are allowed to set boundaries for both the bach. party and the wedding. But two very important key points to keep in mind are it could cause one or both parents to not attend the wedding and/or bach. party. It could also cause very hurt feelings for years to come.
Me personally, not so much for the wedding, but I do understand why you wouldn't want a baby in the house for the bach. parties. After a late night of drinking and carousing, followed by a bunch of people camping out at the house, you don't want one of your fil's "shushing" them to not wake the baby. Or have everyone woken up if the baby starts crying at 4AM. But, then we're back to, is that a hill you and your FI want to die on.
To the other PPs, I read the letter that OP might be embarrassed by risqué presents and game with her FMIL present. Not the baby, lol .