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From what you have shared throughout the years, you seem to trust your daughter's judgement. I think she will honor your memory in the best way possible. Ask her to keep the ring safe and pass it on to a grandchild to use for his engagement. Since you have two grandsons, it would be nice to include a second piece of jewelry for the other grandson to present to his fi as a wedding gift - maybe those pearls when you're done with them or earrings? Whether or not they will remember you, they will know you loved them and were thinking about their future.
I'm going to cut to the chase and assume that the cousin was physically, sexually or emotionally abusive towards you. If that's the case, I would just tell your mom that, without details, and tell her you are definitely not inviting him. If he shows up, have him removed.
Do I think it will cause discord with a few family members? Yes. But if you feel so strongly about about this, stick to your guns.
@CMGragain I have always suggested that people should be addressed according to their own preferences. Always. It's rude to do otherwise. If your friends prefer to be called Mrs. Husband's First Name Last Name, that is fine. But we are getting to the point where we shouldn't assume that any one particular person prefers the traditional form.
I like Robert Hickey's guide.
CMGragain said:I am sorry, @southernbelle0915 , but Mr. and Ms. John and Jane Doe is not a proper address form. I suggest you use Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe, which is approved by most etiquette experts.
When these etiquette gurus (Miss Manners, Emily Post Institute, etc.) change their default style, so will I. So far, this hasn't happened. Remember, there are many people who do prefer the traditional address style. You have no right to dictate to them, or to denegrate their choice of address.
When I was a fetus, my dad, certain that I would be brilliant, invested in the Encyclopedia Britannica. Back then, there was a Soviet Union and Czechoslovakia. Hawaii and Alaska were not states. If I go down to my basement to look at those Encyclopedias, they will still say that Dwight D. Eisenhower is president. I still enjoy looking at the old Atlas, from time to time, to see how much the world has changed. But I would never rely on my old Encyclopedia Britannica for up to date information.
Knottie1474162374 said:To start off, I know it is unpopular for people to request Adult only affairs, however I have such a large family (50 plus 1st cousins all with 3 plus children under the age of 10, not even including his family or the rest of mine) and We also prefer 18 plus weddings.
I will not include it on the save the date or invite. I will include who it is addressed to and how many seats are reserved on the invite.
I am putting it on the website, and including a section for recommendations on where to find a sitter. So without further ado , does this sound ok?
"While we love love love the kiddos, we respectfully request this be an adults only affair.
If you do bring the children please kindly leave them at the hotel/cabin/accommodation with a sitter. Care.com or SitterCity are always great options to find a sitter for the night of the event. Additionally, bringing a sitter with you is always an option as well.
There are some great child friendly activities in the area for the hours before the ceremony and reception which should tucker them out for the night.
We sincerely apologise for any inconveniences or offence this may cause and hope you can still make it for a night of fun and celebration! "
I kind of feel like "bringing a sitter with you" sounds bad
Thanks in advance everyone!
I know there are usually a few sets of parents who will add their little ones to their RSVPs. For those few, you should call them and say you are sorry they misunderstood, but you are not able to accommodate children at the reception. Add that you hope they will be able to attend without the kids. This is a PITA job, for sure, but it's better than implying that all of your guests don't understand invitation etiquette.