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  • Re: An open letter to the Community from our Co-founder, Carley Roney

    all:  i haven't posted on the knot since i first got engaged (over a year ago) but back then i specifically remember being bullied by both retread and stagemanager (never heard of that other girl).  i don't remember all of the details because i deleted that account shortly after, and because it was over a year ago.  

    the short end of it, i was having some wedding-related disagreements with a family member, and it was upsetting me and my husband.  i posted to get advice on dealing with the situation.  here is the behavior that i consider "bullying":

    -  name-calling 
    -  one of them told me that my husband seemed "abusive" and that i should "think twice" about marrying him.  they knew *nothing* about my husband except that he was upset by the drama and he advised that i limit contact with this family member (which ended up being good advice).  he is a wonderful guy and most definitely not abusive.  but they thought it was completely OK to publicly jump to the conclusion that he was abusive based on what little information they knew about him.
    -  when i deleted the post because it was getting so much negative attention, they re-posted my prior posts (no idea how they were able to do that, but i guess someone saved it somewhere) in order to mock me to others on the community forum.  i found this horrifying because they were reposting my name and text without my permission, and there was nothing i could do about it.  i understand that no one should put things on the internet that they don't want everyone to see, but sometimes people make mistakes.  and good grief--- if a girl is getting overly emotional and gives away too much personal information, or says something she regrets, and wants to delete a post, she has a right to do this without having someone repost her entire posts again, *against her permission,* in order to "call her out".

    i think this went well above and beyond someone telling me that what i was doing was simply not a good idea.  they were trying to undermine my confidence in my husband, myself and also publicly humiliate me.  i had very little communication on the forums, so the only reason why i was targeted was because of my perceived "awfulness" in having this disagreement with the family member.  

    like i said, this was over a year ago, and i don't know what happened as of late.  my experience on these forums is also extremely limited.  obviously these women had lots of friends here so i'm sure they were wonderful people, but the experience i had over a year ago was not pleasant.  i did not report them or anything, but i am not surprised that they were banned.  i thought sharing my story would help those who are confused about what constitutes "bullying" behavior that those users were engaged in..  

    i am now back on the knot because i have friends getting married and i wanted to support them :)
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]Sabinus15AroundTheBlock