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If they are in a relationship, their partner is invited.If they traveled from out of town with a date to the wedding, I would invite the date.If they live locally and are not in a relationship, I would not offer a plus one.
You're in kind of a crap position here.How much do you value this friend? Do you want to stay friends? If so, invite him and both of the boyfriends and remind him (and Boyfriend how important of a day this is for you and how Boyfriend A really should consider whether he wants to spoil a very important (and very expensive) day of your life.If you don't value this friend and don't give a shit if you ever see him again, don't send an invitation.But since the three of them really are a social unit, it's really all or nothing.(Isn't it fun when an old-school reg gets drunk and decides to come give etiquette advice?)
Continue to take the high road. At the end of the day, people will eventually notice that she is being ridiculous and that you are being gracious. After the wedding, you most likely will not have to spend much time with your FDIL's mother.You could turn it into a drinking game. Every time you have to hold your tongue, take a sip of your champagne and think about how much better of a human being you are.
"So sorry, FMIL. Unfortunately we don't have any additional invitations or room to add more guests!"
I wouldn't let her add people at this point. Especially since she was able to invite everyone she wanted months ago. You've been accomodating enough
men's dress clothes that fit properly are not any less comfortable than jeans. I hate the "uncomfortable in suits" argument. H gets all fired up when dudes complain that dress clothing is uncomfortable. Buy things that fit or get them tailored.
Also, ditto PPs that jeans are fine if the bride is wearing a sundress, or some other very casual outfit. It looks stupid when the groom is wearing everyday clothing and the bride is in a ballgown. Match the formality, people!