Viczaesar member


Central Coast, CA
Last Active
  • Re: Gifts shipped not brought??

    MobKaz said:
    I have yet to find this stated as an etiquette RULE.  This is as close as I have gotten thus far........

    Can I take my present to the wedding?

    You can, but only if this is the tradition in the couple’s culture or community. If you’re sending a gift from one of the couple’s registries, it will be clearly listed where the gift is to be sent.

    Reposting from redoryx:
    "I'm actually surprised no one has does this yet, so I went and checked Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding and she says "....Wedding presents -- properly sent to the bride's home before the wedding or to the couple's home afterward -- are a nuisance when brought to the event, where no one has time to deal with them and there is a danger of their being lost, the cards disappearing or, Miss Manners regrets to say, the packages being stolen."
  • Re: Gifts shipped not brought??

    To continue my thought - this is an etiquette rule that is broken a lot, often unknowingly.  I choose to comply with it; the logic is sound and it works for me.  It's not an etiquette rule that I think is particularly egregious when broken, however; it falls somewhere between using labels to address wedding invitations and charging guests to attend a wedding (e.g. fees for those who stay offsite at a wedding at an AI) for me.  I don't judge people for not following it, particularly if they don't know it's technically a rule.  I do think it's inconvenient, but not rude, to bring a present to the wedding itself.  But regardless of whether it should still be followed, it actually is an old-school etiquette rule.
  • Re: Gifts shipped not brought??

    Viczaesar said:
    Yes, old-school etiquette says that it's rude to bring a gift to a wedding.  It should be sent to the couple's house before or after the wedding.
    I'm "old-school" and never heard this until recently (last 5 years or so). I don't usually bring a boxed gift but send a gift via the registry. Before the internet, I always saw tons of boxed gifts at weddings. At my own (34 years ago), we received many gifts at the wedding - our parents took them with them after the wedding. I realize that today many weddings aren't in the newlyweds' home town so that wouldn't be practical.
    And yet it actually is an old-school wedding etiquette rule, discussed in many etiquette guides.
  • Re: Gifts shipped not brought??

    Yes, old-school etiquette says that it's rude to bring a gift to a wedding.  It should be sent to the couple's house before or after the wedding.
  • Re: Lunch Reception Feedback

    Logistically, safely cooking and serving food is difficult and a lot of work.  150 people is a LOT of people.  That is a ton of food that has to all be handled safely at every point from purchasing ingredients to final clean up.  If you're cooking food ahead of time to reheat later then it needs to be safely prepped and cooked and then rapidly cooled so that it doesn't spend any more time in the danger zone (basically between 40 and 140 degrees F) than absolutely necessary.  They have to be reheated to above 140 degrees and kept at that temperature as long as possible.  It requires specialized knowledge and tools to do this safely and effectively.

    Let's say you're making meatballs.  How many meatballs per person, 3?  That's 450 meatballs.  How much space do you think that is going to take up?  How are you going to reheat 450 meatballs so that they're all equally hot?  What other food are you going to have to heat at the same time, and how are you going to accomplish that, timing and space wise?

    I strongly suggest you hire a caterer.