Viczaesar member


Central Coast, CA
Last Active
  • Re: Adressing invites/STD help!!

    CMGragain said:
    I am sorry, @southernbelle0915 , but Mr. and Ms. John and Jane Doe is not a proper address form.  I suggest you use Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe, which is approved by most etiquette experts.

    When these etiquette gurus (Miss Manners, Emily Post Institute, etc.) change their default style, so will I.  So far, this hasn't happened.  Remember, there are many people who do prefer the traditional address style.  You have no right to dictate to them, or to denegrate their choice of address.
    Choosing generally not to use an antiquated and sexist form of address, etiquette-approved or not, is not denigrating someone's choice of address.  If you know that someone prefers a specific form of address you should always use that, regardless of if it's the etiquette-approved form, but there's nothing wrong about choosing to use a blanket format that is less traditional and more egalitarian for people whose preference you don't know.  The feelings of people who prefer a traditional form of address are not more important than the feelings of people who are offended by the traditional form of address.  Frankly, if it goes head-to-head I think the feelings of the people protesting sexism are more important than those of the traditionalists.
  • Re: Thank you.

    Good lord.  TMI times 12.  
  • Re: Gifts shipped not brought??

    Hell, I remember etiquette debates on here years ago about whether it's inappropriate to have a table at the wedding that is clearly and solely for gifts because a) it indicates that you were expecting gifts, and b) guests aren't supposed to bring gifts to the wedding itself so it indicates that you were expecting your guests to break etiquette.  
  • Re: Gifts shipped not brought??

    scribe95 said:
    That has been quoted numerous times.
    Yes, I know.  I read the thread.  That's why I'm rolling my eyes at the claims that it's a "rule," not a rule.  Is it because so many people do it and don't want to be considered etiquette rule breakers?
  • Re: Gifts shipped not brought??

    MobKaz said:
    I have yet to find this stated as an etiquette RULE.  This is as close as I have gotten thus far........

    Can I take my present to the wedding?

    You can, but only if this is the tradition in the couple’s culture or community. If you’re sending a gift from one of the couple’s registries, it will be clearly listed where the gift is to be sent.

    Reposting from redoryx:
    "I'm actually surprised no one has does this yet, so I went and checked Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding and she says "....Wedding presents -- properly sent to the bride's home before the wedding or to the couple's home afterward -- are a nuisance when brought to the event, where no one has time to deal with them and there is a danger of their being lost, the cards disappearing or, Miss Manners regrets to say, the packages being stolen."