banana468 member


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  • Re: inviting that guy

    While my mom is not paying for the wedding she has mentioned contributing to it or because I won't accept her money for the wedding giving it as a gift. Honestly, wine glass thing is just one of many ways he disrupts gatherings. 

    I don't care about the family backlash (it would literally just be that one family making a big deal about it and they'll find any reason to make a big deal anyway). I love my mom but she gets sucked into problems that aren't her own because of them way too often. 

    The big issue is dealing with him showing up anyway. Like I mentioned, the specifics on the invitation would not deter him-- they're considered on household. 
    Then I think you 
    1) You need to be really specific in words.    If it comes up then say, "He's not invited.   Be clear on the response cards
    John Smith___accepts____declines
    Jane Smith___accepts___declines

    Don't leave room for an add-in.

    2) If it comes up that the cousin is excited be clear that he's not invited.   Correct them if they make an assumption.

    3) Can you have a seating chart at your reception venue where guests are given a table assignment by staff when they walk in vs. cards?   Then if he comes in staff immediately can tell him he's not on the list.    They can turn him away at the door.

    4) Finally if he still shows up make sure the venue does have his name and maybe a photo and it can be clear that he's not welcome.   

    But before the wedding day, I'd also do what you can to make this as clear as possible and to correct any assumptions as quickly as possible. 
  • Re: Friday.....Friday October 13th

    Tonight is a book fair at Chiquita's school and then ALCS.  I'm hoping DH can take her while I make dinner and then Chiquito can settle into bed while the game starts.   Lately both Chiquita and Chiquito are turning into crazy early risers and it's making me BANANAS (pun intended). 

    Tomorrow we have Halloween night at my IL's campground.   Chiquita is a ninja and Chiquito will be Daniel Tiger.   Weather looks great and I think Chiquita will get some kitchen time before we leave as she helps me make an apple pie.   Picky kiddo said, "Mo-om, do I have to eat it if I help you?"  Nope.   More pie for me! 

    We'll see how dinner goes.   MIL is really irritated about BIL and quite frankly I can't say that I blame her.   It will be interesting to see if she talks to me or DH about the latest in his saga. 
  • Re: October baseball, anyone?

  • Re: The BIG question, how to politely put Adults only

    Everything was good until your plans for your website. Don't include "adults only".  

    It WILL be helpful for people to have this information before invites go out, especially if they are traveling for the event. Do you have gossipy relatives? Let them know the event is child-free and word will naturally spread. Or maybe your mom/dad can talk to their relatives with kids who are potentially traveling to give them a verbal heads up.
    Ditto.   The website portion is really really bad.   I'm a parent.   I know about the services on the internet.   If you were actually offering something then putting it on your website is fine but saying, "You can go on the internet and find a babysitter," is like putting on your website, "For directions, you can go to and find out how to get to our reception."  

    Spread everything via word of mouth, be really specific when addressing and if people still don't get it just make the phone call clarifying that the invitation was for the adults and not the kids.   You may still need to do this because some people just won't get it and that's not your fault.   
  • Re: Future MIL is a registry kind of woman...

    Not having a registry is perfectly fine.   But keep in mind that as PPs said, you may wind up with boxed gifts or stuff that's not cohesive.   That's all fine and dandy if you're cool with it.   Just be prepared that you may get knives, blenders, food processors, cookware and a BOATLOAD of picture frames and blankets.  

    If anyone wants to throw you a shower, you don't need a registry to have one but I'd say it makes it helpful.   Again, without one you'd wind up with a lot of mismatched stuff which can be fine but this is a great opportunity to think about what you and your FI want in your home as a married couple.