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Why are you trying to force them to be who they aren't? You want to remind them to go to a website to give you an answer to your question instead of just asking them the question and getting the answer directly? Do you like making things more complicated and weird for yourself? Is this like a social experiment or something? You do realize when most people call to follow-up on invites, they just call to get the answer - they don't call to remind people to go to a website or send in their card - that ship sailed and they just get the information they need. Call them on the phone and talk to them like a normal human being "Mom? I'm just double checking final numbers and want to confirm that you'll be at the wedding." Or "Will you be at the wedding?"
Talking. Not that hard.Report10
But if cost is a factor, just having large trays is more cost effective and you'll probably need less over all. Sure, it may not go in with your vision, but this is something consumable and you're vision isn't going to last that long anyway. And if you're doing any photos during cocktail hour, you're probably not even going to be there to witness your vision. Because if you're doing individual cups, you need to make sure there is one per person (and ideally in these situations you would budget about 1.5 per person because some might want two and some won't want any at all. And if it's mixed fruit, and I only like two of the four kinds of fruit in there, I have to take a whole cup and you've now wasted the price of half that cup and basically flushed it down the toilet because most people aren't going to finish up half of someone else's fruit cup unless they are married to each other. Whereas in a large fruit tray, I can pick the two types I like and it's open to allow others who do like that type to eat what I chose not to and you'll likely need less fruit overall.
I don't know - I guess if I were so cash-strapped that I was seriously contemplating not having enough of a food item for all of the guests, I'd be cutting extras like fancy displays something that will only look fancy for about a half hour and be consumed before I start cutting out guests because priorities.
I am habitually late to most things (and not from Southern California). I just always seem to think I can fit one more thing in before I leave somewhere or it won't take me as long to get somewhere.
Except for important events with prompt starting times (weddings, funerals, graduations, professional conferences, etc.). Because I'm an adult with common sense. I am always early for weddings and I would be pissed if I had to wait 45-60 minutes because I showed up 15-30 minutes early and you lied on your invitation.
ETA: And that whole arrival/ceremony time? Do you really think habitually late people are going to go "Oh, I have to be there at 4!" They are going to go "Oh, I don't really have to be there until 4:30 because the arrival time isn't really anything" and then they'll just do whatever things usually make them late to make them late for the ceremony. Have an usher make sure people can't get in after 4:30 to not disturb the ceremony and if people miss it because they couldn't figure out how to not be rude and show up on time for something, that's on them and maybe they'll learn their lesson for the next wedding.
If you are 100% certain, then it may be awkward, but just call them up and explain their children are welcome. If it were the other way around (you invited the children and now decided no children), then there is no possible way to do that. But since you're being more inclusive rather than exclusive, it's not the worst thing in the world.
Some people don't even have a rehearsal. Attendance isn't mandatory. Honestly, the rehearsal is more for you and your officiant to go through the order of the ceremony.
Unless you have a very complicated ceremony that requires them to do something (say a religious ceremony where your party is unfamiliar with the religion), it's not that hard to figure out how to walk in a straight line and stand up at the end of an aisle. Otherwise, it'll take you all of five minutes to let them know what's up. "Joe, you're walking down with Jane right after Mark and Mindy." If you have a coordinator at your venue who is going to cue people as to when to walk, then make sure they meet the coordinator and know to walk when that person says so. You can even do a quick 5 minute run-through the morning of if you're that concerned about getting everyone to understand their cue and where to stand.