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Knottieb268693631c25ddc said:Hi everyone! Hoping for some solid advice here.
I am having a DW in Ireland this summer. Our guest list is floating around 120 people currently but will surely fluctuate. We would like to invite my coworkers who I am very close with. The issue is that I work for the federal government and they only allow a set number of people off on vacation at a time. I of course would like to invite a majority of my coworkers as I have been there for years and see many of them outside of work for dinners, bowling, nights out, etc. One of my coworkers is in the wedding party so with that, there are two people (myself included) already on vacation for my wedding. How do I handle this? Do I send all coworkers an invitation and whoever can get the time off/find someone from another office to cover them are welcome? Do I invite them all to the wedding shower?
I've already made it clear to the MOH that we will not be registering anywhere and we'd just like a fun, laughter-filled shower with our friends and family. She would like to invite everyone to the shower, even if they are unable to make it to the wedding.
We're from a very small town so the rules and etiquette of a DW are pretty foreign to me. I look forward to your replies!Knottieb268693631c25ddc said:I have done my research on the requirements and discussed it with the appropriate parties in the multiple trips we have made there in the last few months. Only looking for advice on etiquette.
Play single ladies
I went to an outdoor wedding in Texas in October and it was so hot even in a short dress with no sleeves and a hand fan I had sweat dripping down my back into my butt crack and mind you I am in my late 20's at the time of this wedding. The older folks were even worse, some had umbrellas as covering. It was miserable, and honestly other than the heat all I remember is they had the tables set up on the lawn for us to eat at and instead we all crowded around under the porch like sardines to get a bit of shade. Nothing else about that wedding was bad, we were well hosted and it should have been a lovely, fun wedding. Instead, all I remember is the heat and thinking about how worried I was grandpa was going to pass out.
If someone, even family, sent me an invite for a June Texas weather outside I would laugh as I checked "No" because no way I would put myself through that.
When I was getting my masters in counseling this was a new thing, and there was discussion about if it was/wasn't helpful. Obviously there are situations in which this would be invaluable to someone, and other situations where someone would not benefit and not try a different approach (like group or true face to face). I'm still on the fence, but I hope that technology can improve to dispel some of the fears I have there and allow people to get the help they need. I believe in my state license there is also limits put on what percentage of the counseling can be out of office.... but I have also been out of the counseling world for a few years a lot can change in that time regarding this.
I did not have any children involved in the wedding and have no regrets about it.
My H was best man in a wedding the other weekend, there was a less than 2 yo slated to be the ring barer. He didn't make it up the aisle during rehearsal. Bride and groom were flexible and he didn't end up participating on the wedding day itself. In fact, he spent most of the wedding wailing in the bridal suite for all to hear...
You have to manage your own expectations that no matter what you plan, he may have other plans that day and might not be able to participate. I ditto what others have suggested regarding having a family member carry him.