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It is certainly possible and not against etiquette to throw a shower when there is no registry. However, they shouldn't ask for cash for either the shower or the wedding. The bride should be aware that she'll get physical gifts whether she wants them or not. If she doesn't, she should decline a shower. For the wedding, I think it's fine to give he "saving for a honeymoon" line. For a shower, which is specifically for physical gifts, I'd find it rude. I'd say, "She's not registered. I'm sure any gift you'd like to give would be appreciated."
I threw a shower when I was MOH. It was a little awkward for me, but I don't think there are hard feelings. I offered to throw the shower within days of her asking me to be the MOH and told them to let me know where they were registering. A couple months later when it actually came time to throw the shower, I asked her where they were registering to put on the shower invitation, and she said they decided it would be easier to just ask for gift cards. I didn't know what to say, and ended up putting a "stock the kitchen" note on the invitation and threw a kitchen-themed shower. Probably not the best way to handle it, but I didn't know what to do and didn't want to take back my shower offer.
sparklepants41 said:kvruns said:I didn't ask, she just said she "loves the stuff".
kwiksilver said:All they need is a big ol bowl of grass and leaves hillbilly bajingo wash
So two of my sisters got engaged at the same time and got married about six months apart. "Chrysanthemum" got married first and "Magnolia" got married second.
I was talking to Magnolia recently and found out that Chrysanthemum had some ideas like it sounds like your BIL may have. Chrysanthemum didn't take up any of Magnolia's offers to help with planning and diy ahead of time (unusual in our family - everyone pitches in), and Chrysanthemum didn't want to talk about anything and didn't think they should talk about their weddings to each other.
It's now been several years, and Magnolia told me that Chrysanthemum recently apologized and said she shouldn't have made such a big deal of it. In hindsight, Chrysanthemum apparently said that she wishes she would have let Magnolia take charge of some things and do what she offered. Chrysanthemum has a quieter and less take charge personality while Magnolia was very comfortable taking charge of something and saying to the other people helping "you do this, you do this, you do this," and making sure it got done.
Really, I don't think it's a huge deal to talk about your weddings. I'd be fine saying something like, "I don't think it's a big deal to talk about weddings if it comes up. If some things end up being the same, no one will notice or care." And go from there.
I just watched the first episode.
Banjo taxidermy girl. Goodness. What will they think of next.
When I first saw her, I though that Chelsea reminded me so much of Olivia and not in a good way. Looks and facial expressions. And then she started talking and it was like, "Oh, yea, even more!" I wonder if they're related.
ETA: Arie in a suit walking over sand dunes. The end.