lyndausvi mod


Western Slope, Colorado
Last Active
Member, Moderator
  • Re: Am i going crazy?

    Wow.  Glad you trusted your gut.  

      I have admit my first thought was the aunt not the 21 year old employee.     I mean, who hangs out with their niece's married boss?  Invited by a contracted IT guy when the office is closed to boot?     Pretty lame explanation if you ask me.

    I think therapy is in order.  He is putting the blame on you for HIS behavior and that isn't right at all.
  • Re: Ugh

    Ugh,   DH had to let go his #2 guy yesterday.   We have known them since NOLA days.    Sad, but needed to be done.  He was turning into a entitled a-hole.    Every time DH would take off for a few days he started fights with the F&B director (and we have had 4 in the last 4 years).   So once again DH comes back from our vacation to a shit show.     You could explain away a few times, but every single time?   Sorry dude your the common denominator here. There were other things also.

    DH is upset he had to do it, but sometimes you need to mix things up for the good of the entire department.   Doesn't help that DH had a root canal yesterday either.   He is doubly miserable.      

    Today is an exciting day of walking 4 miles and grocery shopping.  I've put on a few pounds from vacation and not working.   Need to get back onto the healthy train.

    Here is a picture I took near my house yesterday.  Maybe it will put a smile on some faces.

  • Re: Is there an expiration time for a honeymoon?

    Personally, I think the ship has past after a year or so.  

    Then again, I don't know why vacations always seem to have labels involved.  Honeymoon, babymoon, blah, blah.   Because "we fucking want to go away" should be a good enough reason.

  • Re: Am i going crazy?

    kaos16 said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    Agreed with all of the above.  Since he does run his own office, is he free to set his hours?  Can he do work from home? 

    I don't see anything wrong with expecting him to be home in evening more often than not and having to help share the kid/dinner/bath/bedtime load.  If there's an issue or they're slammed, that's one thing...but work can be never-ending and it should not be an excuse to escape just because.  

    Also, make a plan to go out with a friend or two in the next month.  Put it on your calendar/communicate it to DH and get out of the house.  

    Furthermore, she can flirt with him all she wants.  But it's on him to have the appropriate reaction to her.  If you have an issue with his interactions with her on his end, it's OK to tell him that him doing X thing makes you uncomfortable.

    Yes.  I trust that he wouldn't act on anything she does.  Maybe I'm just annoyed that someone would be so flirty with a married man.  I know she's not the only one, plenty do it. . . . but she is the first person I've personally encountered doing this in my life.

    He is absolutely swamped at work. . . it's all him.  Some stuff he can do from home once the home office is set up (we just moved) but he gets less done at home because he ends up wanting to veg out on the couch with me in the evenings even thought I don't mind at all if he wants to go into the other room to get work done.  Yesterday he had to be at the office for the computer guy.  (who I've been told spends a lot of time cheating on his wife and being completely inappropriate with most females, to the point of being accused of sexual harassment a few times).  Maybe it was just a perfect storm of bad influences yesterday that brought everything to a head for me!

    See I'd say the opposite. I don't see her being flirty, I see him being inappropriately personally involved with a subordinate. He, and you, need to talk about his conduct and his boundaries, not so much hers. Absolutely not suggesting I think he is having an affair, but does he agree that as a boss maybe buying her clothes and taking her to run errands just looks bad? Is he willing to dial back the unnecessary contact?
    I agree with this.    

    On another note, DH has bought clothes for his staff in the past.  Also expensive knives and other chef tools.  Both for female and male staff.  So I don't necessarily think it's cause for concern, it would depend on context.      

    DH bought one of his female chef's a new pair of shoes for work.   Her's were horrible and she didn't have the money at the time to get new ones (seasonal worker, she was out-of-work for a few months and this was the start of the season).   I never thought twice about him buying her a pair of non-skid clogs.  Actually thought it was sweet.

    If he bought her a sexy new work suit?    Ummm, I might have a different reaction.
  • Re: Am i going crazy?

    kaos16 said:

    I know this isn't "Wedding Woes" related, but I've been active on this board the most lately.  Sorry in advance.  Also, please don't quote me in case I chicken out and want to delete this.

    So, my husband runs his own office.  His secretary of maybe 6 months or so is 21, a fairly attractive female, who's really outgoing.  They are in the fire department together too.  It seems like lately they have been spending more time together, now with her aunt as well (who is only 30).  When I say time together, they left work a little early the other day to grab a drink before he came home.  He often takes her to lunch or to run errands during the day.  He also bought her a suit last week, she apparently doesn't have many professional clothes, having only worked retail previously.

    Yesterday we didn't have work.  He went to the office around 5 to get some stuff done.  I stayed home with our toddler.  He said he didn't think he'd be long.  I facetimed him with our son around 7:30 to say goodnight.  He got home around 9ish.  He mentioned that the guy working on his computers invited the secretary and her aunt to the office so they were hanging out for a little bit.

    This is all really off-putting to me.  I think it's her personality.  She is very flirty with every guy I've ever seen her encounter.  My husband mentions what she is saying to this firefighter or that one, etc.  Last night I told my husband that it seems like he is having an affair with this girl or something.  He said that is definitely not that case, and I have no reason not to believe him, but I have a sinking feeling that I can't shake.  Am I crazy?  What would you do?

    That is weird.    

    Have you guys been going on dates?   Some of it might be resentment from "having" to stay at home with the kid and he gets "fun time" without you.