lyssabee member


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  • Re: Legally married before the wedding?

    You are entitled to your opinion ma'am, but I must respectfully disagree with you.

    You do seem to be labroing under the impression that I would counsel a Marine to get married for financial reasons.  I would not.  i merely said I would counsel them to get married to the people they love sooner rather than later.  I don't see any practical purpose in waiting, if they're already committed and love one another, as my fiance and I are. 

    I think our essential disconnet on the lying front is that you seem to only recognize one state of marriage.  Perhaps if we used seperate words.  Let's call legal marriage "marriage" and for the sake of clarity, and to help avoid conflation we'll call the ceremony in the church "blarriage".  Being married and being blarried are not related ideas, and the states are completely independent of one another.
    Currently we are neither married nor blarried.  We could get blarried tomorrow but not sign paperwork for the government and not be married.  Or we could, as we are suggesting, sign paperwork, be married, but not be blarried.  Eventually, it would be important for us to be blarried as well. 

    We would tell people we were married, but we would tell people that we were not blarried, because that is the case.  Blarriage requires a ceremony in an Orthodox Church, which we had not performed.

    You're getting confused because of the fact that both are called marriage.
  • Re: Legally married before the wedding?

    We could announce that we're married to the entire universe and it wouldn't change anything. We still wouldn't be considered married.

    And unfortunately we can't move the wedding up. Orthodox weddings take more than a couple of months to plan, and that's just the way that is.
  • Re: Legally married before the wedding?

    Interestingly enough, I'm not Catholic. Try again.

    And the only place I've hesitated to apply to is McDonalds at this point, and that's only because the homeless people the police refuse to allow on the streets end up there instead of the psych ward for some reason.
  • Re: Legally married before the wedding?

    Um, we're getting married because I want him as a partner for the rest of my life, and he me. 

    And maybe you missed the part where my religion does not have vow renewals, and that the marriage would not be considered valid to our families until the church wedding ceremony.

    But thank you so much for you exceedingly helpful judgement on my character.
  • Re: Legally married before the wedding?

    Sorry, I accidentally deleted my post when I wanted to edit it.

    My religion is fairly strict, and different from more mainstream ones. It doesn't matter than paperwork had already been filed and that, to the law, we would be married. Until the ceremony happened in the church, we wouldn't be considered married by our friends, family, or faith. Also, there aren't vows in the ceremony. In fact, there is not a ceremony that exists for my faith that is related to a vow renewal.

    I have been married before, not by a JOP, but by a friend who was ordained through the Universal Life Church, meaning they can perform weddings legally. While that marriage clearly ended, I was not considered married by anyone else in my life. 

    For the record, my FI and, if I can find work, I are paying for the wedding.