- Last Active
Ah, so you probably know the military PPD drill then. Yeah, wtf to that notion if they live off post. Why would she try to sell that to you if you're in the service yourself? H and I lived together for 6 months before we got married. His BC knew, I think most people in his company knew (we had most of the officers and warrants over for dinner pre marriage), and absolutely no one cared. And I moved to H before we got married and then became an acquired dependent. I guess that's all moot though.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Hope you can find a way to move forward and that she'll come to understand how she hurt you. And I hope she realizes she's better off being honest (especially if they're apparently telling military people to avoid judgement - how's that one suppose to work if they're keeping the marriage quiet?)
I'm so sorry. I'd be furious with my parents. FURIOUS. And I know all family dynamics aren't the same, but I imagine my sisters and I would have had it out over something like this.
I was a BM in a PPD, though I didn't know until later. What bothered me the most was the lie and how I'd been made to participate. I don't think I could have stood up there knowing they were lying to everyone there to wish them well. Good luck with your decision.
Also the military orders is always such a lame excuse. Especially because orders can and often do change. Did she want the military to pay to move her?
H and I enjoy skeet shooting. H and I also enjoy drinking. H and I know that shooting while under the influence is very stupid and probably illegal even on private property (it is in most if not all states).
Look, if H and his friends headed up to a cabin for a weekend, undoubtedly there would be both alcohol and a firearms packed. But H and friends are not idiots (well, they are, but not about important things) and would keep the shooting and drinking as separate activities. You either trust your future husband to be responsible or you don't. Are you worried about them driving drunk?
Tell him you hope everyone stays sober while shooting and that you hope he has a fabulous time, make sure he's got eye and ear protection, and then trust your future spouse to not do stupid, probably illegal things.
Anyone you want can walk you down the aisle - male, female, relative, non-relative. If you are close with your FI's (you said boyfriend - I'm assuming you are engaged though?) family, I think it's fine to ask one of them to fill the role.
And of course, there's nothing wrong with swinging it solo! "Giving away" is kind of an antiquated notion, IMHO. You are a grown, independent woman. For me the role is similar to that of the wedding party, a chance to honor someone who has been a significant figure in your life. And someone you want to hug right before you get married.
You clearly know all the things, so us Miss Manners Wannabes have nothing to teach you. Go forth and trust in your prefect guests who apparently will commit without fail and view your wedding as the end all, be all of the wedding season. Send your invites at four months, and feel victorious in sticking it to us old married hags if it makes you feel better. We'll still be here, not really caring.