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  • Re: Invitations and RSVPs

    MandyMost said:
    Yes, sending every person over 18 their own invitation is technically correct, but it doesn't always make sense in practice. Some of my relatives would have totally balked at multiple invites going to the same house, and thought we were just throwing away money and showing off how much money we have to throw away.
    Who cares? I mean, some people might balk at a hosted bar, or having enough chairs, or serving a meal during meal time, or properly sending invites. Just because those people don't understand what's polite doesn't mean hosts should skirt the rules. 
    I don't (personally) think those things are on the same level. Technically it might be polite to send everyone over 18 their same invite, but I don't think it's rude if you know your guests' preference. I sent most of my adult cousins living at home their own invite, but there was one family I knew would be like WTF if they got 4 of the same (plus their mail is super sketch and they'd probably come on different days!) so I put all of the kids on that one. I don't think this is the same level infraction as not hosting the bar or not having enough chairs, and maybe open a little bit to interpretation, based on the guests.
    I think she was making the point that some folks might view a hosted bar as another example of showing off how much money you have to throw around, but that shouldn't impact your decision to do so.
  • Re: Invitations and RSVPs

    for a single parent and teenager, how do we indicate that the plus one is for the teenager but not the parent?
    Does this mean you're not extending +1s to single parents or am I misunderstanding?

    You're not obligated to extend +1s to everyone, but I can imagine some hurt feelings if one person on the invitation got a +1 and the other didn't!

    If the teenager is 18 or 19, send them a separate invitation. Once they hit adulthood they become their own "social unit" regardless of who they live with. If they're under 18 I'd go with the following:

    Ms. ParentFirstname Lastname and Guest
    Mr. TeenFirstname Lastname and Guest
  • Re: Cake-only reception, followed by non-included dinner??

    ashleymay44 said:

    I'm really not understanding the "entitlement" argument- I'm not saying you're wrong,  I'm just saying I don't understand how that's what you're getting from this.


    we do have our vision of our venue and honeymoon, and I'm not letting [consideration of my guests' time, money, and feelings] take that from me. 
    Does that help you understand?

    Look, you asked for advice on how to avoid surprising your guests with the lack of meal. Folks offered additional advice on how to avoid offending your guests with the lack of meal.

    You've since stated you now know how to avoid the surprise and you don't care about avoiding the offence, so what more is there to say?
  • Re: Is this okay?

    FFIL's probably right about vendors upping the prices for weddings but I doubt that calling it a "celebration of marriage" would make a difference to them anyway.

    The caterer at your reception doesn't care if you got married 1hr ago or 24hrs ago. They know you still want the day to go perfectly and that they can charge you for it!

    Glad that talking through the root of things helped you guys come to a better understanding, it almost always does :)
  • Re: Groom's guest list is huge, bride's parents footing the bill though

    MandyMost said:
    We ended up with a "must have" list just under 150, and a "like to have" list brought it up to almost 170. Of course, some of the spots on the guest list were blanks for people who were single at the time of making the list so we could accommodate a future SO if they were in a relationship at the time the invites went out. 
    VERY important element to remember. OP, make sure to do this! Imagine the stress of finally getting all the numbers to line up, only to find that 5 of your formerly single guests now have significant others (who must also be invited).