mrsbuzzlightyear member


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  • Re: What else can I do?

    Hey everyone! I just wanted to give y'all an update about the situation -- again, thank you so much for your advice. My friend says she's not able to be a bridesmaid, but she's gonna be there no matter what which really means a lot to me. She promised me she's just been kinda flakey recently and that it wasn't anything I did. AND she remembered to give me her new cell number, which makes me happy because I think that was really a major communication issue for us.
  • Re: Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

    Dcarr0809 said:
    Wow! I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who you are and I hope I never run in to you or anyone of your commenting cheerleaders in my life. What does it matter to you if someone has a "PPD" (which is a pathetic name by the way, I don't care who made it up) or a do-over wedding. If you were SO UPSET AND BOTHERED by the atrocious event WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO??? The same goes for the alleged group of people who were upset at this wedding with you. An invitation to a wedding is not a jury summons! You are under no obligation to attend and it will upset no one. Before you start saying it is rude to not attend a wedding you're invited to or that you would have then been oblighted to send a gift anyway, your right. Writing this mean, hateful, downright jealous, and anonymous post is much more polite and shows your now married friends what a true friend you really are. Are you upset with what I'm writing to you yet? I couldn't give two shits!!! Oh, do you think I'm rude and inappropriate, please do!!! I'd like anyone reading to know that on top of your obviously fuming jealousy towards happy brides-to-be and married women wanting a "do-over", you scavenge these innocent forums looking for the above described brides and post a link to your trash filled words you call a post. I hope this brings you years of lonely happiness because I only imagine someone who is alone or stuck in a horrible marriage, who's spouse would rather eat roaches than think about giving you a "pretty princess day" or even a "do-over". Why would you bother going onto a multicultural and diverse wedding website to state, what you close-minded believe, is the "one true way to get married". Come out from your ridiculous movie screen name hiding spot and address your one view mindset like an adult. Stop attacking other women, stop attack out of the box thinking brides, and stop attacking military wives who had no choice to give up their pretty princess day because their husbands were called to battle with a 4 day heads up; where your only choice is to marry at the JP because God forbid he gets killed and then who does his remains go to? Oh yea, his wife. Before you go thinking you hurt my feelings, please don't give yourself the pleasure and satisfaction. I'm writing for my sister, the proud wife of a Navy service member. I'm writing for my sister who is much too classy to even give you the time of day. Lucky for her, I'm trashy and don't mind tell you to fuck off. I can't wait for her do-over wedding! Now that I think of it, I think her shower and Bachelorette party should have a pretty princess feel to them. I can't wait to post pictures on this post so you can see what real friends and family look like.
    Hi. Future "proud wife of a Navy sailor" here. Guess who's not having a PPD? I hate when people use that as an excuse. Hate it. I don't know a single military couple who went the courthouse-wedding route who then decided to have a PPD. And I know quite a few military couples.
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  • Re: Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

    artbyallie, I believe everyone should have the right to marry whomever they want and am 100% for gay marriage. I was trying to make a point....why should any random person have the right to tell anyone else how to celebrate their love and commitment to another and not give them the opportunity to get married how they want? Even though our WEDDING will not be the traditional wedding and may not be approved by the closed minded fools on this forum, in our hearts this will be the wedding day we remember most- celebrating with all of our loved ones. If the company my husband works for had coverage for domestic partnership we wouldn't have had the civil ceremony.

    MobKaz how could you make an assumption on what my options are when you know nothing about our situation? Yes, we could've gotten medicaid but is that the best decision to make? Let everyone's tax dollars pay for our health care rather than be added to my husbands policy? Or pay $300 a month for a policy offered through Obamacare which also has a $5,000 deductible, when I'm struggling to pay the bills that I already have? I am fully aware of what my options are....I've worked in the medical field for the past 10 years as a RN. For the record, we are not planning on spending money frivolously. Since we cannot afford a reception, we are looking into other options..... wedding investors- something I heard about once years ago. Didn't really want to bring that up because of all the negativity on this blog. I'm sure I just opened another can of worms. Not that I need to explain my personal life to anyone..... but thanks for your concern.

    ohannabelle OMG do I really have to explain this to you? It will be our first anniversary PER THE LAW. So it's not our golden anniversary...big deal. The wedding will be a celebration of our marriage and love. Our family and friends are the most important aspect of our "reproduction wedding" as you so nicely call it. We are entitled to our own opinions the same as you and for us it's not official until we pledge our love for each other in front of our loved ones rather than a perfect stranger. That's what matters to us most. It's not about the "fluff and frills" even though I choose to wear a gown....I'm sure I'm not the first person to renew their vows in a beautiful dress. We are not lying to anyone so I'm not quite sure why everyone is getting so bent out of shape or why anyone would care what the word wedding means to us. 

    So you're spending *other* people's money frivolously. Although honestly, if someone wants to be silly enough to "invest" in another person's wedding, they can go for it. [See the highlighted section for what I'm referring to]

    If it's not about the "fluff and frills" then why not just throw an anniversary party? 

    Listen. I understand situations that are made 100x easier by legally being married -- it's the reason my FI and I currently live on opposite sides of the world. It's actually not good for either of us (especially me) to be without a proper support system. But we wanted to make sure our family and friends were included in our special day, so we decided that we'd wait. It may mean I'm working in a job I hate while I'm waiting to be with him and living in a less than ideal situation, but that's our decision. We could have avoided this and just gone to the courthouse before he left, but that's not what we wanted. To use an analogy based off something I once told a friend of mine... You graduate college when you get your diploma. Whether you walked across the stage during your graduation ceremony or you stayed home/did something else instead, as long as you completed the requirements and received your diploma, you graduated. You don't get to walk at a different graduation ceremony a year later just because you regret not putting on a cap and gown and walking across a stage.
  • Re: Etiquette regarding always inviting SO's.

    Zhabeego said:
    Unless they are married, engaged or living together, etiquette does not require you to invite him. The bigger problem is how your friend will react to her boyfriend not being invited and if you are prepared to accept the fallout. You might be able to claim its a space/budget issue but if you are inviting the SO's of other friends, it will be obvious this isn't true. You could decide on a blanket rule that ONLY married, engaged and live-in couples are invited together.

    Stuck in a box.

    A lot of people agree with the bolded, but you're actually supposed to invite any SO, not just engaged/married/living together. If they say they're a couple, you have to invite them.
  • Re: Worst Wedding You've Ever Been To?

    I just came back from my cousin's wedding, and considering our family is usually pretty good at etiquette, it just made it seem so much worse than what it probably was.

    -Ceremony was short and sweet on the first floor, reception on the second floor. Hors d'oeuvres consisted of a table set up with olives and cheese right outside the door of the reception room at the base of the staircase, making people have to line up on the stairs.

    -Hosted bar was one white wine, one red wine, 3 kinds of beers, lemonade and iced tea. Our family are liquor drinkers. Once we found this out, one of the uncles ran to get some bottles which we hid under the table. Unfortunately we didn't find out there was no soda until after. Whiskey neat it was!

    -THERE WERE NO TABLE ASSIGNMENTS. No one knew where to sit, so we just sat ourselves which ultimately led to there being 1-2 place settings not being used per table. This caused some people to just be standing around awkwardly without having a place to sit with their family.

    -There were 2 tables that said, "reserved" but no one knew who was supposed to sit there.

    -The great aunts were asked not once, but TWICE to move from where they were sitting because they weren't at the "right table". They were pissed the entire evening and wanted to leave early (I've never seen this happen before).

    -People started going up to the buffet for food, without any announcement, as far as people could tell. Aunt tries to go up and get some food (we're starving) and is asked to sit back down and "wait her turn". Come to find out one of the bartenders was going table by table to invite people to the buffet. And we're supposed to know this, how?

    -Get to the buffet, to find out everything is covered in cream sauce. I got to eat rice and salad, yay.

    -I see FOB go up to the dessert table and grab some mini desserts, I'm starving so I follow him. Then I hear the announcement that we should wait till we're invited. Oh well.

    -Throughout the night I get told this is a dress rehearsal for my wedding. Obviously. 
    Not gonna lie, I think the bolded is more tacky than them not hosting liquor (or even soda... the soda thing I find weird but not hosting liquor is, from what I understand, completely normal). 
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