vikinganna87 member


Live Free or Die
Last Active
  • Re: Getting in Shape

    Agree with PPs.  There are a lot of different components of a healthy lifestyle but the most important one is prioritizing your body and well-being: exercise, consistency with your sleep and daily routine and a good diet.

    If you're thinking about the week ahead, for example, think of the days you'll be able to exercise.  Whether it's taking a long walk during your lunch break, hiking on the weekend, or making sure you park in the spot furthest from the entrance to your grocery store, be in the mindset of moving as much as possible.  Take stairs instead of escalators, walk instead of drive, do stretches or jumping jacks when you're filling up your car, etc.

    If there's a party or dinner you're going to attend, think about potential pitfalls in advance.  Can you politely resist dessert?  Skip the bread?  Eat a healthy snack beforehand so you don't show up starving?  

    I was thinking about joining a gym or getting a trainer but they are expensive and we have to save for a honeymoon, house, etc

    A healthy lifestyle doesn't mean dieting and depriving yourself.  It doesn't necessarily mean getting a trainer or joining the gym.  It means making time and planning in advance when you're going to get exercise, regardless of the weather. It means loving your body and being mindful of what you consume. It's about discipline and not making excuses for yourself.

    If you want to hold yourself accountable, tell your friends about your plans or post your progress on social media, alternatively keep a food and exercise journal.  Making a significant lifestyle change is challenging to sustain, which is why people turn to professionals for help: personal trainers, workout or weight loss programs or nutritionists.  You don't necessarily need to do this, but if it's going to be tough on your own, you may consider cutting back on other expenses and putting some money aside for your health and well-being.   
    My 3 tips for losing weight:
    +drink lots of water all day
    +walk a lot --- at least one hour/day if you have time
    +don't eat after 7pm

    My nutritionist friend preaches:
    +eat breakfast like a queen
    +lunch like a princess
    +dinner like a pauper
    (your meals get a lot smaller as the day progresses)

    Good luck and congratulations on your engagement!

    etf typo
  • Re: When do you wear your rings? (Also some advice please)

    I have a bad history of losing jewelry - especially earrings - if I ever take it off. So I wear thin gold necklaces, diamond studs and yes, my engagement and wedding rings all the time. I very rarely remove jewelry, even when swimming, cleaning etc. For a special occasion I may swap out the necklaces and earrings for something fancier but that's rare.

    I had a scare with my engagement ring shortly after getting married. I took it off along with my watch & left it with my car key & sunglasses in a cupboard every day we were working on our project house. One afternoon I came back to the cupboard and the key and other stuff was swept aside. Ring missing. I knew MIL had been "cleaning" and that no one else would move my stuff but strangely she wouldn't admit to touching anything on that particular shelf. Calmly I found the massive garbage can, shop-vac, regular vacuum, emptied them and eventually found the ring at the bottom of the trash barrel. It's never left my finger since.

    It was strange getting used to wearing it the first few months -- it would get caught on my sleeves when I dressed and that sort of thing. I eventually got used to it and remember not to fist bump with my left hand, for example. I'm much more scared of losing the ring than slightly damaging it with everyday use.

  • Re: Premarital counseling

    We were not required to do premarital counseling but I thought it was a good idea and H somewhat reluctantly agreed to do it.  I had an older boyfriend when I was in college --- this ex BF's friend & fiance went to Pre-Cana and decided not to get married after just a few sessions.  That stuck with me.

    As with a lot of counseling it depends on how you jibe with the therapist or minister. Ours was a retired minister whom I'd sought out to do our wedding ceremony. We went to 2 sessions with him which were valuable.  However, in the 2nd one he seemed to forget everything we'd initially told him and was overly concerned about getting paid in advance for the wedding several months out. Coupled with the inconvenience of him being relatively far away from us, we opted not to continue and chose another minister for our wedding.

    He did go through some valuable communication techniques and provided good insight about the cycle and evolution of long-term partnerships. I was surprised at how open and trusting H was in these moderated sessions and have seen him like that the MD's office, etc, since.  Which I reckon bodes well if we were do more counseling.  A couple of things that resonated and stayed with me:

    +When you marry someone you only know a small bit about yourself and your partner.  The rest is a leap of faith.  So what you see initially is just the tip of the iceberg and underneath the surface is a complex human with a lot of unknowns.  As your relationship evolves, your true self and partner's true self will reveal themselves as you encounter challenges. [The minister articulated this much better than I just did]

    +Everyone has faults, weaknesses, negative past experiences and insecurities that manifest themselves in close relationships.  When you decide to divorce, keep in mind that you'll bring those faults to the new relationship and eventually encounter the same problems again. [This also resonated well with H because he's brought it up to me and others in casual conversations since then].

    In short, I wish we'd continued the pre-marital counseling for at least a few more sessions, even if we'd done it with a new minister. It was actually tough to find a protestant minister who offered those services [our new one didn't], but I could've found a therapist or some other counselor.  I was initially overly fixated on the person who would marry us also guide us through the pre-marital stages.

    FWIW H was raised Catholic. I was raised Protestant - technically Lutheran but relatively open about what Protestant churches I attend. We got married in a Unitarian church across from our wedding venue in a small mountain town about 2.5 hours away from where we lived at the time.
  • Re: Health update

    I'm very happy for you, @CMGragain !  That's fantastic news ---- thanks for sharing.  I'd love a report once you get back from your cruise around Japan. :)
  • Re: I know i've complained about this before, but venting again

    There's a huge difference between voluntarily choosing to be generous and giving your secretary or admin $100 at the end of the year and feeling semi-forced to contribute that amount to a group gift. 

    ETF grammar