Catholic Weddings — The Knot Community

S/O- Going to non-Catholic weddings of Catholics

lalaith50 — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 20:56:28 +0000

DH has a cousin, I assume baptized Catholic, and we're going to her outdoor non-Catholic wedding in a few weeks, is it really true that the Church says we ought not to?

If so, this makes no sense to me.

She did not choose to be baptized Catholic, and shows no desire to continue being Catholic. I know some people think that you can officially un-become Catholic by writing a letter, but I have also heard that is not true anymore, and I am sure it is no longer in the current Code of Canon Law.

So, we're not supposed to go to her wedding unless it's in a Catholic church, even though we know that she has no intention of acting like a Catholic, and in fact if she were to have a Catholic wedding I would almost consider it a mockery (since I would assume she were only doing it for her parents.)

So basically, what's supposed to happen in this situation?

And does anyone have an exact quote for an authoritative document for it being discouraged/forbidden to go to such a wedding?

I think it might be different if someone still considered themself Catholic and, for example, still planned on receiving Communion, but just deliberately didn't want to get married in the Church. Then I can see their wedding being almost a "statement" against the Church, and for that it might make sense to not go to the wedding for you to make a "statement" about their attitude!

Had my eyes opened a bit this weekend...

elbow23 — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 12:33:40 +0000

Yesterday, my FI and I completed an "Engaged Couple Seminar," which is my diocese's alternative for those who cannot attend an entire "Engaged Encounter" weekend. Some of it was pretty painful to sit through, ie. discussions on how to balance your checkbook, how to save for retirement, etc. FI and I are 31 and 27, respectively, and we've lived and worked independently for several years, so we've figured that stuff out.

Then we got the the "fertility care" section, and I prepared to tune out. We're not 100% sure yet what our family planning tactic will be (the wedding is not until next July), but I had pretty much written off natural methods. At the seminar yeaterday, a woman and her husband got up to speak, introduced themselves, and said they had five kids. I think some of the people in the seminar actually gasped, but the couple laughed and said that no, they do not have five children because their method failed, they have five children because that had always been the plan.

Apparently, they've been using the Creighton method for about 20 years, and the wife is a certified teacher and practitioner. I was shocked that as she spoke more and more about it, the whole idea began to sound not too bad - very scientific and adaptable to one's specific situation, both of which are important to me. At the break, I asked my FI if he would go to a Creighton information session with me (there are several free ones in our area), and he agreed. So here I am, at 8:30 the next morning, about to search the internet for a practitioner to teach us more about the topic. Pretty cool. :)

I hope everyone had a nice weekend!

Anyone watch the DNC?

Resa77 — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:19:58 +0000

I didn't, but I've seen a few FB and blog posts that make me kinda wish I had, just to see it for myself. I heard that Caroline Kennedy used her Catholicism as her reason for advocating unrestricted abortion. WHAT?!?! Is this true!?! What else did I miss?

(I watched neither the RNC nor the DNC, because I get too upset and depressed about the future!)

~Had to share~

amber&kevinG — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 03:10:31 +0000

HI ladies-

As my headline states, I just have to share this:

Tonight was my second RCIA class. And I was Completely. Blown. Away. What was said tonight moved things inside of me that I didn't know where there. It was a validation of things I had thought in my own studies, but never had someone either agree with or confirm. It was just amazing.

To boot, I recieved my first Catholic bible. Over the moon excited about recieving that. A deacon was in our class and explained about the blessing of them. :)

I am so humbled to be going on this journey over the next few months.

Hope you all have a great evening and a great Friday!

Irish Catholic Traditions?

lv2011 — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 23:45:37 +0000

Anybody know of some specifically Irish Catholic wedding traditions? I'd like to incorporate some, but I can't seem to find any that are beyond just a blessing at the reception and/or serving Irish food/ drink. I'm thinking specifically for the mass, and we are using the Celtic Alleluia.

Friday Catholic Weddings

Coco1988 — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 14:18:08 +0000

What time is mass typically if a church allows for a Friday ceremony? Anybody have experience with attending or having one? Pros/cons would be greatly appreciated!

"Catholic Gap" Ideas?

MedStudent13 — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 18:05:06 +0000

Hey girls! Soooo, my church can't do the wedding any later than 2:30 pm since they have a 5:00 mass, and I am having a dinner reception where the coctail hour won't start until 5:00 pm. I know this is fairly common, but should I provide any form of entertainment for out of town guests? Most of my fiance's family is local, but most of my family will be flying in from Puerto Rico, Florida, and California and will most likely be staying at the same hotel where we are having the reception. I would greatly appreciate your input!

Preparing for Pre Cana

pittpoint1119 — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 19:34:07 +0000

FI and I got our e-mails from the parish we will be doing our Pre-Cana at in 2 weeks. I am very nervous since I am catholic and FI is not. What can we do to prepare for pre-cana?? What types of questions should we talk about before we attend?

Priest Rebuked over role in gay cousin's wedding.

afrenchprincess — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 18:47:15 +0000

So I saw this and wanted to get your opinions of this. Do you feel his simple presence and reading of scripture was a statement on his beliefs as a priest in the Church?

http://www.courant.com/news/connecticut/hc-priest-rebuke-20120906,0,4648544.story

Birth Control After NFP For Medical Reasons

Nickie431 — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 04:32:31 +0000

DH and I have been using NFP our entire marriage (almost 10 months), and I've been seeing a respected NFP Ob/Gyn two hours away for some medical issues. I've been frustrated with the lack of progress on my health while under her care and also felt the need to see an endocrinologist because it seemed my issues were getting out of the gynecological field (insulin levels, hypertension, etc.) My first endocrinology appointment was today, and she was great--spent 40 mins. with me, very thorough, obviously trying to piece together the puzzle of my symptoms rather than give me pat responses. However, as I feared, she strongly recommends I go on birth control pills 1) to assist in relieving my symptoms and 2) because I learned that some of the medications I've recently been prescribed are FDA Category X (known to cause birth defects in humans).

A devout Catholic friend who has a similar condition (with fewer complications) chose to go on BC, and I had felt strongly that that wasn't a feasible solution for me. I'm now having doubts, though. I know that my medical needs are justifiable according to the Church, and I would not take BC with a contraceptive mentality, but I'm still feeling terribly disappointed that this might be the route I need to start regaining my health.

Just looking for some thoughts, experiences of using BC for medical reasons, support either way, etc. The Lord's intent is a mystery to me right now, and I'm so confused. Thank you!

What's up?

Resa77 — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 15:31:14 +0000

How's everyone doing? How was everyone's weekend?

I had a great weekend with H, celebrating his bday. He seemed to enjoy the weekend, so that's great. Also, he had three interviews on Friday (was only supposed to have 1, but 2 popped up). All three look promising, and one is basically definite. He needs to start talking about pay, etc., to make his decision, but he's definitely seeming quite happy about it. I have to admit, though, I'm going to miss having a SAHH (stay-at-home husband). It's been nice not worrying about laundry, cleaning, etc.

How's everyone else doing?

Show me your...

TCbride1 — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 15:55:05 +0000

Programs!

I'm trying to make sure I don't miss anything in our Catholic ceremony programs.

Thank you!!

Questions!

Resa77 — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 13:48:45 +0000

Feel free to add!

1. What are your feelings/beliefs regarding tattoos and piercings? Do you think they're immoral (besides tattoos that say/depict immoral things, obvi)?
2. How do you feel about babies or children getting piercings?

uh oh

ootmother2 — Sat, 01 Sep 2012 19:47:18 +0000

revisited

I posted two weeks ago about a gay couple (male) who was married here with a Roman Catholic priest as co officiant. A couple of you ladies said you were hoping that was a mis print or something more to the story.

Just read on The Deacons Bench (patheos site) that the priest was formally reprimanded by his bishop and that it would be kept in his active files but that's it. It WAS his cousin's wedding so I do understand why he would feel pressure to assist. But he shouldn't have done it. He was not vested but was wearing the roman collar. Dead giveaway guy! Smarten up, mmmk?

Wives be submissive?

Resa77 — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 20:58:43 +0000

If you've studied Catholic theology regarding sexuality at all, you know that it kinda always points back to the image of the husband being like Christ, and the wife being like the Church. And that, of course, gets you right to St. Paul's lovely quote about wive's being submissive to their husbands, and husbands loving their wives as Christ loves His Church.

In some repsects, I can totally see it. In others, I just can't. I don't get it. So I thought it would be nice to discuss it :) I will also add that my H would never be all "I'm a man, so you must obey me" about anything, so I thankfully never have to worry about him abusing that teaching!

When to start nfp

Coco1988 — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 03:16:47 +0000

Hello-

Just got engaged this past weekend and we are thinking wedding in 9-12 months, when do we start diving into learning NFP to prepare us to be ready for when we are married?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Stupid question - escort vs. place cards

jenjlgsings — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 17:05:25 +0000

Are escort cards and place cards the same thing? I keep seeing posts about escort cards but I've never heard of anything called that before. Every wedding I've gone to people have referred to them as place cards. Are they one in the same? Or are they two separate things?

Feedback on Nuptial Mass from non-Catholic guests?

erin5286 — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 13:54:35 +0000

As my wedding date draws nearer, I'm starting to worry a little about how my non-Catholic guests will react to the Nuptial mass, since many of them really aren't familiar with a Catholic mass at all. I'm curious about what sort of feedback others have gotten.

Fall Traditions

Resa77 — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 19:23:16 +0000

Now the it's labor day weekend -- which is kinda the start of fall -- I am curious as to what fall traditions you have?

Mine are watching NFL games (go Bengals!) with my family, or at Buffalo Wild Wings with H; making homemade vegetarian chili with H; lighting my favorite Yankee candles (the fall scents are the best); and visiting beautiful VA wineries, with the mountains and foliage providing the best backdrop!

Some new ones I want to start this year are apple picking, apple baking (natually...if you're going to pick, you must bake!), and maybe decorating fall cookies.

Cake!

lalaith50 — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 21:54:17 +0000

mmm... all this talk about food and cake...

What is your favorite cake flavor? And what flavors did/will you have at your wedding (if any)?

Another cake thread!!!

shawna127 — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 16:44:33 +0000

Did your H smear the cake on your face?

OR

Do you think FI will smear the cake on your face?

what's for lunch today

Calypso1977 — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 14:35:44 +0000

its 1030 and im starving.
im also thinking about dinner too.

So, lets have some food fun

1. Favorite fast food lunch spot.
2. Favorite Thanksgiving dessert.
3. Favorite Ethnic cuisine
4. Favorite Pizza topping combo
5. Do you dip your french fries in anything? What?
6. Favorite Ice Cream Brand

Where is everybody?

MedStudent13 — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 04:18:15 +0000

Hmmmmmm?

TGIT!

Resa77 — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 13:30:44 +0000

How's everyone doing today? Anything new going on? Weekend plans??

I'm doing okay. I'm not at all in the mood to get anything done today, which is a bad way to be lol. I'm hoping I'll get a boost of motivation soon! Nothing new is really going on. This weekend is H's bday, so I'm excited to celebrate with him! We should also be getting our wedding pictures finally, so I'm dying with excitement for that!!!

Creighton Charting

amber&kevinG — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 02:33:39 +0000

Hi ladies- I have my first appointment on Friday and will have needed to have been charting for 2 weeks. Without going into detail, I feel like I am not doing it correctly. I haven't been given any instruction since our intro class back in May. I've read the booklet, but it doesn't seem to make much sense. Has anyone else had this problem in the beginning? Will it get easier? I consider myself a fairly smart person, but just not grasping this. Thanks!!!

Questions?!

Resa77 — Tue, 28 Aug 2012 14:30:05 +0000

What questions do you have today?

1. What is a Catholic tradition/devotion/whatever you wish was more prevalent?
2. What is an secular old-fashioned tradition/norm/whatever that you wish were more prevalent today? What's something you're so glad we don't do anymore?

Advice - church vs. FMIL

Smooch711 — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 14:20:07 +0000

Hi ladies,
I haven't posted here in months, but I thought I'd get your thoughts on this because I'm a little mad with my FMIL.

Background: FI has two brothers (both are in the WP, along with both wives/sister-in-laws). Each of them have children. There's a total of 4: 2 boys and 2 girls. The girls (ages 7 and 4.5) will be our flower girls. The boys (ages 20 months and 18 months) will not be in the WP because of their ages, and I thought would be watched by FI's mom and dad.

FMIL is now calling my church and asking about a room to bring the boys during the wedding. (Their will be no mass, as FI isn't Catholic). I know she's MOG and her son is getting married, but why does she expect the church to "babysit/control" these two boys??? I'm not a mother, but my opinion is this: "It's called parenting! You raised 3 sons, and now you can't take responsibility for your two grandsons for 45 minutes MAX??"

Am I overracting? Do I take any action?

Apparently, she isn't getting much response from the church secretaries, which is making her say snide remarks about the Catholic church (she used to be Catholic. . .have no idea about the fallout/background other than she's divorced and has been remarried to FI's dad for 35 years.)

Just annoys me that she expects this from the church. Sorry this got to be so long!

Song Suggestions

[Deleted User] — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 04:36:23 +0000

Hi everyone- This is my first post on this board but I am a long time lurker :-)

My FI and I met with our priest earlier this week and he said we should pick a hymn for after the Nuptial Blessing that affirms our vows. Does anyone have any suggestions?

TIA!

Getting a divorce after 7 weeks

XML&MrP — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 14:14:43 +0000

This Weekend's Knottie!

professorscience — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 20:19:04 +0000

Please join me in congratulating

BTCarolus

8/25/2012

on her upcoming wedding!