Catholic Weddings — The Knot Community

St. Patrick's Prayer

Jasmine&Rajah — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 12:14:15 +0000

I need this today (well, always, actually . . . )

The most well-known excerpt is this:

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

Link to the full prayer:

http://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/prayers/patrick.htm

God bless you.

Fortnight For Freedom events listed by diocese

Jasmine&Rajah — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 11:46:17 +0000

This is great!

http://www.catholicvote.org/index.php?/locator/step1

Ceremony programs

hvcfringe — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 21:54:25 +0000

I am starting to think about my ceremony programs and what should be on them and how to organize it. We are having a full mass and have not yet decided on music(still need to contact the piano lady). Can you give me ideas of what your doing/did?

Where to put Jr. Bridesmaids in Procession

ktreed — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 17:03:24 +0000

Hi Everyone,

I am not quite sure where to position my two jr. bridesmaids in the processional. Should they go first before the adult bridesmaids or should they go after the adults before the ring bearer and flower girl?

Unmarried and Charting? - Article by Simcha Fischer

newlyseliski — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 17:23:12 +0000

NFP ladies will appreciate this article :-)

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/why-would-an-unmarried-woman-chart-her-cycle

Agape and Lala

professorscience — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 20:04:08 +0000

You each have a PM!

I'm a Mrs!! (XP from SB, PIP with recap)

chelseamb11 — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 13:02:30 +0000

Thursday:
I like to call this my "bad day" of the weekend. I went to our hometown with one of my BMs to start pulling stuff together. Most of you know my dad and I have a rough relationship and his life is really falling apart. Well, I had checked email and FB when I got to his house and didn't log out (I just Xed the screen) so when he went in, it went to mine instead of his. He decided to take it upon himself to snoop through my FB messages with only my mom and I and found some stuff where we were venting to eachother about some crap he was pulling. Mind you, this convo happened over a month ago and she was very far down in the chat list. He claims he didn't know it was my FB until he got to that convo. Bullshite. He still refuses to acknowledge that he did anything wrong snooping. I understand that what we said hurt him, but NOTHING justifies him breaching my privacy like that. He knew exactly what he was looking for, and he jumped at the opportunit to snoop. It made me so angry that he did that, especially 48 hours before the wedding. Just to keep the peace, I dropped it and apologized for hurting him and asked if we could forget about it for the weekend. He was also threatening not to come to the wedding, so I had to beg him to come. I spent the day feeling sick to my stomach and really upset.

Friday:
The rest of the WP came to town and we set up the reception hall. Each side of the WP rehearsed the dance-off (the boys eventually kicked our asses... they did SUCH a good job lol.) We had the rehearsal and then went to the rehearsal dinner. I was getting pissed at my dad b/c he was constantly checking his phone during the rehearsal, but I was too distracted to ask him to stop. WELL, we're sitting down to dinner, my dad's phone rings, and he gets up and leaves the room. I was really mad that he did that. However, he comes back in and THERE IS MY HOST FAMILY right behind him! When I lived in France 5 years ago, I had the most amazing host family and I had invited them to the wedding but they had too much going on to come (or so they told me). I was soo excited and surprised. My dad knew my host dad from when my dad had come to visit, so they cooked this suprise up for me. Best wedding present ever. They literally flew in FROM FRANCE for the weekend. They stayed at my dad's too (as did I the night befoe the wedding) so I was able to visit with them for a couple hours after the rehearsal dinner.

Saturday:
Honestly not much to "describe". Everything pulled together perfectly, and we couldn't have been happier with the day. It felt perfect. Even though there were little snags, it honestly didn't matter to us or phase us.

I did find out yesterday that my dad not only confronted/cornered my mom before the reception, he also did the same to my godmother (mom's sis) and mom's best friend, freaking out at them that mom is "corrupting" her kids against him. Really dad? Not the time or place. They told him so, and he obviously didnt hear it.

All in all, it was wonderful (other than my dad being a jerk). Here are some non pro pics!

Cookies FMIL (oh man, MIL, not FMIL!) made for the rehearsal dinner.

The makings of a candy buffet!

Centerpieces

Wedding dress detail (SIL took this, I love it!)

The whole WP

Vows!!

We're married!!! Enjoying champagne in the limo.

Two ceremony questions...

Eliz77 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 12:08:06 +0000

We met with the Deacon last night to catch up, go over some ceremony details and ask about a couple things. The ones that still need to be figured out are taking flowers to the Blessed Mother and the unity candle. He seemed kinda "whatever you want to do" about both tasks. Does everyone include one or the other or both?

If we do the unity candle, is there a specific set up? All the Deacon told us is two single candles, one big center candle, but didn't say if there are specific things we need to look for. Google shows a bunch obviously created for such events, some nice and simple, some over the top with wording and designs. I'd be leaning towards pretty and simple, and like the idea of something I'd keep and light on anniversaries to come.

What kind of flowers do you bring the Blessed Mother, and how is it arranged? It is a narrow aisle where the set up is, so I am a bit worried how I will manuever it, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. I presume it follows the vows when there is a bit of a break and some music playing?

Unity Candle

dumdumfroggie — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 14:34:21 +0000

Quick question.

I've already checked and my church allows for the Unity Candle cermony. I'm unable to figure out where in the ceremony it should be placed. I know that it's not traditional to have it in a Catholic service, so that's why I'm unable to find it's placement.

Also we are having the Catholic service outside of Mass as FI is not Catholic, if that helps in your answers.

Thanks!

XP: Catholic Wedding Invites

lizzywiz — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 17:22:59 +0000

Ok, let me know if this sounds right...

Mr. and Mrs. Lizzywiz
request the honor of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting their daughter

Lizzywiz
and
FI

son of FMIL
in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
on Saturday, the ninth day of February
Two thousand thirteen
at one' o clock in the afternoon
at our Catholic Church
City, State

Any corrections? I feel like the flow is weird. I want to include FMIL's name so she doesn't feel left out, but since she's not hosting anything I don't think it's appropriate to put her at the top. Also, I'm not sure what the reception card should say. We're having the reception immediately after the mass at a different location.

FOCCUS Test

mpaone24 — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 18:19:31 +0000

So my Fi and I took the FOCCUS test on June 2nd and we haven'y heard back yet. Does it normally take this long to hear back from the priest to discuss the results?

Thanks!

Is this likely?

DeannaCW — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 07:40:24 +0000

This post requires a bit of background here. I am Californian, was raised Presbyterian, and still follow it. My fiance is English, half Maltese half Scottish, and was raised Catholic. His parents were, if not still are (hard to tell sometimes) very Catholic, and in fact were shocked he was dating a Protestant when they first found out. (They have since become fine with this, and have secretly admitted to us that I'm the favorite of his and his four siblings' other halves). FI went to Catholic school his whole life, and says that he always thought that the Catholic church needed to reform in certain ways. When he first came to church with me, he said his thoughts were "wait... you already do all of that". He subsequently went through an existential crisis upon the realisation that he was actually, in terms of religious beliefs, Protestant. He still identifies as culturally Catholic, though plans to join the Presby church we have been attending (me for over five years, him when he was out visiting) when he finally moves.

As you may have guessed, our wedding will be in a Presbyterian church. This will be a huge deal for his family; among his mothers' side, of which he is one of the youngest cousins (and his mother's one of nine!), this will be the first wedding that is permitted in the Catholic church that will not take place in one. (There have been second weddings in registry offices). I've lurked on this forum before, and we have discussed things we have learned on here, such as him not being able to take Communion in a Catholic church, etc. He is fine with this, does not care. Any future children, we also plan to raise Presby.

However, here's the question. It is very important to his parents to have a priest involved in some way, whether it be to offer a blessing, a prayer, doesn't matter what role they just want one involved somehow if at all possible. We are willing to go along with this out of respect for them and the way that they raised him (also, not a hill we're willing to die on. Our wedding's already so multicultural weird we might as well add some more)

I have e-mailed a few local Catholic churches asking about this, asking if a priest would be willing to do this. I have not received a response from any. My question, is it at all likely or even permissible to have a Catholic priest do this? I know the Vatican's rules on marriage can be pretty strict, but I don't know anything about their policies on priests offering a prayer at a wedding that will not officially be recognised by the Church? Since I haven't gotten any replies to my inquiries, would it help to go talk to them in person? Since you gals here seem to know more than I can find out anywhere else, I figured this would be the place to ask. Thanks for the help.

Happy birthday, John the Baptist

mica178 — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 18:32:34 +0000

A homily from my husband's friend:

I. John/Jesus birth
You, no doubt, notice that we do not celebrate the feast of Sunday today. Instead, we celebrate the feast of the birth of John the Baptist. It is a solemnity and it cannot be moved, like Christmas. Actually, it is tied into the celebration of Christmas. Today is the 24th of June, exactly six months before Christmas Eve. These are also the longest days of the year, the most sunlight. The nights around Christmas are the shortest days of the year, the least sunlight. It is a beautiful bit of symbolism. Remember that John the Baptist said of Jesus: “he must increase, I must decrease.” Therefore, from this time on, the light decreases until Christmas when it is reborn again with the birth of Christ. As I said, a lovely bit of poetic symbolism but perhaps even a bit more than that.

II. More than poetry
Notice carefully that the passage goes, “he must increase, I must decrease.” I look around at our world today and fear that too many of us, too many Christians and even a good number of Catholics, get it quite wrong. We are all pretty much willing to let the Lord increase, that’s not the problem. The problem is that we tend to hitch our wagons to the Lord’s rising star so that we can increase too. Notice that John does not say: “He must increase so that I can increase.” Yet, I fear that, too often that is exactly how the Gospel is read. Let me give you three examples in which the names will changed to protect the guilty.

III, First, faith not investment banking
First, I remember once, many years ago, in a parish far, far away, I heard a priest preach that God would reward everyone who contributed to the parish by making them even richer. He actually said that for every dollar cast into the collection plate, the giver would get back 10 or a 100 more. Sounds like he must increase so that I can increase to me. Of course, I have never been a pastor and had to pay the bills. But if I ever am, I hope I can find some way to keep the lights and air on without utterly perverting the Gospel. As Thomas More once said: “If we lived in a State where virtue was profitable, common sense would make us good and greed would make us saints.” We do not live in such a state. In this world, He must increase; I must decrease!

IV. Second, cross, not sword
Second, and I know I have been saying this a lot lately, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of love and humility, not a Gospel of arrogance and power. You often hear this power reading of the Gospel from politicians of all stripes and, frankly, it makes me sick. If Christianity is used to attain power, if faith is used as some sort weapon with which any particular group acquires or maintains political, social or economic hegemony over any other particular group, then the Gospel has been perverted beyond all recognition. The Gospel is the Gospel of the Cross, not the sword. Violence, war or bloodshed in the service of Christianity is like child abuse in the service of children. He must increase; we must decrease.

V. Third, mundane way
Third, I think the most dangerous and insidious way to pervert the Gospel is the most common and mundane way. People get the odd idea that because they are Christian, they are somehow better than everybody else. I don’t know where we get this idea, certainly not from the Gospel. I once knew a lady who was very devout. She went to church every day, prayed all the time and was constantly pointing out the faults of everybody else whose religious practice didn’t measure up to hers. God rest her soul but she was mean-spirited, ungrateful and judgmental to the extreme. I don’t care how much she prayed or went to Church ... she was the most unchristian Christian I ever met. We are not better than anyone else because we are Christians. We are Christians because we are no better than anyone else, not perfect or meant to be, only forgiven and loved. He must increase, I must decrease.

General Intercession ideas

pixalicious — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 03:17:18 +0000

Does anybody have a rough draft of General Intercessions (prayers of the faithful)? I'm trying to write them, but it's not going so well. I've already done some research online about how to write them, but what I'm coming up with isn't very pretty and doesn't flow nicely. Any ideas or examples will help.
Thank you

Choosing a priest

smallpie — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 05:16:53 +0000

I have a priest in mind that I would like for my wedding but I'm not too positive about what church he belongs to. I went to an all-girl Catholic high school and the chapel was way too small to sit everyone so we had mass in the auditorium and someone in the school would contact local priests who would be willing to come and give mass for us. The priest that I have in mind is the one that did our mass the most often. My question is though, would he be able to marry us at a different church or would we have to have our wedding at his church?

Neither my fiancee or I belong to a parish. My fiancee is not a Catholic but he is a baptized Christian.

What do you think?

Resa77 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:12:21 +0000

Did any of you hear about/read the blog post from a Mormon couple in which the husband came out as being gay? You should be able to google it (I think the blog is called The Weed).

What are your thoughts on this? To me, I feel like attraction -- physical/sexual attraction -- is necessary in marriage. I think this husband and wife seem to be really good people, and they seem to really respect and love each other. I'm not saying I think they need to get divorced or anything. What are your thoughts?

Chelsea

shawna127 — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 14:39:29 +0000

Congratulations! I hope you have an amazing weekend and may the Lord bless you both greatly in your marriage! :o)

Question about altar flowers

tropicalpalmleaf — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 23:45:26 +0000

I met with my florist on Saturday and I picked out 2 arrangements for the altar. I have a question on what to do after the ceremony with the flowers. One person told me that I can take them with me to my venue for the head table. Another person said that they are left at the church. What is the protocol for altar flowers? TIA

online NFP

jfellows82 — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 15:07:36 +0000

Have any of you done an online NFP class, specifically Billings? We're switching from STM but there's not an in-person class in our area that fits into H's work schedule. I'm a little wary of not meeting with anyone in person though.

The main classes are through internet videos and then the FU appts are over the phone. Do you think that we'll be able to learn it well this way? I figure they wouln't offer it if it didn't work well, but any personal experiences would be appreciated. Thanks!

shop for the designer dress of your dreams on TLC's new show Jersey Brides!

Jerseybrides — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 19:09:33 +0000

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The dress of your dreams with all of the drama!

Do you totally get told you’re the star of the shore and should have your own show ALL of the time? Are you treated like a celeb every time you walk into a room or go to the club? Is the spotlight always on you? Well, if you are the princess of the Jerz AND you need a dress for your wedding, then this could be the show for you!

If you’re a bride with a HUGE personality and a family/friends with an even BIGGER presence, then the Producers of Four Weddings and our experts at Bijou Bridal want to find you (or someone you know) the most fabulicious gown. It doesn’t matter if you’re a “shore” bride with a picky mama, a “housewife” marrying into a crazy family or just a fashionista who won’t settle for less than designer labels on your wedding day; as long as your diva potential is high, we can solve your dress drama…and all you have to do is shop!

Here’s how you get started!

If you live in the tri-state area, and would LOVE to be on camera, then email us your contact info (full name, phone number, age, where you live, etc.), your wedding date and some photos ASAP to BridesofNJ@gmail.com. We’ll be in touch!

Inviting officiant?

Eliz77 — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 03:10:02 +0000

I am assuming I am to send the Deacon officiating at our wedding an invitation, right?

Nuptial Mass program?

Yankee in the South — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 15:26:05 +0000

Did you make programs for your Nuptial Mass? Can I steal your format?

If I PM you my email address could you send it to me?

TIA!

Sick of TK Eating Posts

BTCarolus — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:44:58 +0000

I really am tired of this. They need to get the server situation, or whatever the situation is, straightened out. I just commented on the Marian flowers/Unity Candles post, and then found that the last two days of posts have disappeared, but the posts that disappeared three days ago are suddenly back. Really, this is ridiculous.

I tried to look for some way to make a useful complaint, like sending something to a CEO or to the shareholders or something, but TK/XO Group literally don't seem to have even customer service! Argh!

Riss, trying to PM you . . .

Jasmine&Rajah — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:57:21 +0000

. . . and my darn computer keeps hanging. You may have twelve messages from me, or none at all. :-)

Wednesday

professorscience — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:43:30 +0000

So, I don't know if anyone saw it, but for a brief moment yesterday, all the recent threads were gone and two or three "deleted" ones appeared. One was about menu and I didn't get a chance to read the posts (I think there were only a few).

So, what is/was your menu at your reception? Is/was the reception formal or informal? Morning, Afternoon, or Evening?

Rice/Birdseed, logistics

BTCarolus — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 09:43:10 +0000

I want to do the "everybody throwing something at the couple" thing, probably birdseed (church has no regulations on what gets thrown, but I haven't decided what I want), right as we leave the church. We aren't doing a receiving line at the church or reception, so I'm trying to figure out the logistics of this. If we walk down the aisle and out, everybody will still be inside the church. If we stop at the door and wait for everybody, then we have an awkward forced receiving line anyway. Is there some proper way to do this, or should we just organize the throw at the end of the reception (which is what I think every single wedding I've ever been at has done).

Riss, in case you didn't see . . .

Jasmine&Rajah — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 00:50:07 +0000

. . . I wrote a post telling you that I was sending you a PM, and the Knot devoured it (at least it looks like it devoured it - oddly enough, it's still listed under my posts.)

Have a great night!

Parishes in the Philadelphia area?

Jasmine&Rajah — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 00:42:33 +0000

Would anyone familiar with the area like to rave about their parish? Many thanks. :-)

wedding music

clsangel34 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 21:12:32 +0000

I haven't pick out exact songs yet but I do want Canon in d for the bridal party procession...does the church allow this or does it have to be a hymn

Tuesday questions?? Random convo??

Resa77 — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 19:19:44 +0000

Anyone have any questions? I can't really think of any. I'm just excited for this week to be OVER! FI has been out of town, and I really miss him. Plus, Friday is my friend's wedding, and I'm very excited for that :)