Catholic Weddings — The Knot Community

OOT

Calypso1977 — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 17:18:37 +0000

are you here or did you get banned?? i'm assuming someone reported you in that thread since Irish showed up, and i havent seen you....

Catholic wedding fees

MopsieB — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 02:31:05 +0000

Has anyone else noticed how outrageous the weddings fees at most churches have become, even for long-time parishioners?? This is a totally new development and I think the Catholic Church should address it. When my brother got married 10 years ago, it didn't cost anything (except to pay the officiant, of course)...Now, it's not a requested donation, but an upfront fee, generally ranging from $1,000 and up. The next thing you know, they will be charging for other sacraments! Is anyone else as upset as I am about this?

Jordan Almonds?

[Deleted User] — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 02:34:42 +0000

Are any of you giving out Jordan Almonds for favors? After reading the meaning behind them, I think it is a neat idea. I have found them in all three of my colors too! (white, red, and black)

This is what I found:
GENERAL SIGNIFICANCE Fresh almonds have a bittersweet taste, which represents life. The sugarcoating is added with the hope that the newlyweds' life will be more sweet than bitter.
ITALIAN WEDDINGS Five almonds signify five wishes for the bride and groom: health, wealth, happiness, fertility, and longevity. These almonds decorate each place setting as favors, tucked into pretty boxes or tulle bags called *bomboniere* that are often personalized with the couple's names and wedding date.

Great Article on the BCP

Riss91 — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 19:22:46 +0000

Written from a scientific/health perspective rather than moral, but makes many terrific points (that many of the ladies here have pointed out in related posts).

http://nymag.com/news/features/69789/

It's a long article, so here are some of the highlights for those interested:

The Pill (and other hormonal methods of birth control, like the patch and the ring) basically tricks your body into thinking it’s pregnant. The medicine takes control of your reproductive processes, pulsing progesterone and estrogen to suppress ovulation. On the Pill, every woman’s cycle is exactly the same, at 28 days, even though that is rarely the case in nature, where the majority of periods occur every 26 to 32 days but can take up to 40 or even 50 days. This is a nice effect, but it’s not real. And there’s a cost to this illusion, one that the women at the Pierre weren’t discussing.

The fact is that the Pill, while giving women control of their bodies for the first time in history, allowed them to forget about the biological realities of being female until it was, in some cases, too late. It changed the narrative of women’s lives, so that it was much easier to put off having children until all the fun had been had (or financial pressures lessened). Until the past couple of decades, even most die-hard feminists were still married at 25 and pregnant by 28, so they never had to deal with fertility problems, since a tiny percentage of women experience problems conceiving before the age of 28. Now many New York women have shifted their attempts at conception back about ten years. And the experience of trying to get pregnant at that age amounts to a new stage in women’s lives, a kind of second adolescence. For many, this passage into childbearing—a Gail Sheehy–esque one, with its own secrets and rituals—is as fraught a time as the one before was carefree.

Suddenly, one anxiety—Am I pregnant?—is replaced by another: Can I get pregnant? The days of gobbling down the Pill and running out to CVS at 3 a.m. for a pregnancy test recede in the distance, replaced by a new set of obsessions. The Pill didn’t create the field of infertility medicine, but it turned it into an enormous industry. Inadvertently, indirectly, infertility has become the Pill’s primary side effect.

On the Pill, it’s easy to forget the truths about biology. Specifically, that as much as athleticism or taut cheekbones are, fertility is a gift of youth. The body that you wake up with after fifteen or more years on the Pill is, in significant ways, not the one you started out with. With age, body rhythms change. Cystic conditions, endometriosis, and a whole host of complicated ailments are more common. And whatever “irregularities” a woman may have experienced in her teenage years before going on the Pill will likely be around when she goes off it. “Some women who come off the Pill in their thirties are surprised that it takes a few cycles to get their periods back, or that they may have very long cycles, or cycles without ovulation,” says Jill Blakeway, founder of acupuncture center Yinova near Union Square and a co-author of the cult book Making Babies. “The Pill didn’t create these problems: In most cases, the problems were there all the time, but because they were on the Pill, these women were never motivated to deal with them. And now they have a time issue.”

Consequently, a cult market has cropped up catering to women in the process of rediscovering their bodies when they go off the Pill. There are ovulation kits, though they carry a hefty price tag ($30 for a pack of seven tests, while Viagra is covered by health insurance—how revolting), and Whole Foods carries a set of plastic beads with colors that indicate when a woman is fertile and when not.

But the most popular new natural method is the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM)—a more sophisticated version of the rhythm method—which was popularized by fertility guru Toni Weschler, … she’s devoted herself to helping women start their families or just get in touch with their bodies. In some ways, her 400-page book Taking Charge of Your Fertility has become the Our Bodies, Ourselves for our time. Alternately silly, whimsical, and exhaustingly specific, the book was published fifteen years ago and is ranked higher by customers on Amazon than all other books except the third and fourth Harry Potters.

Weschler’s method is precise, though it requires some organization. Every day, women have to take their temperature first thing in the morning with a basal body thermometer and then monitor their “cervical mucus,” which, in addition to being a great name for a riot-grrrl group, is one of the best signals of impending ovulation (monitoring your “cervical position,” which Weschler advises doing in a squatting position, is optional). All this information is written down on “the chart,” a piece of paper with a series of boxes that looks like a primitive Excel document. Cervical mucus (or fluid, the word that Weschler prefers) means that estrogen has risen dramatically and ovulation is about to occur. A rise in temperature tells a woman that she has ovulated. A sudden drop means a period is about to begin.

Sexual freedom is a fantastic thing, worth paying a lot for. But it’s not anti-feminist to want to be clearer about exactly what is being paid. Anger, regret, repeated miscarriages, the financial strain of assisted reproductive technologies, and the inevitable damage to careers and relationships in one’s thirties and forties that all this involve deserve to be weighed and discussed. The next stage in feminism, in fact, may be to come to terms, without guilt trips or defensiveness, with issues like this.

:

Head Coverings?

[Deleted User] — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 14:34:59 +0000

Hello Ladies,

I have about 46 more days to go and I am super excited. However, I am coming to a crossroads. I am having a Traditional Latin High Mass and would like all the ladies that are going to be in attendance to wear a chapel veil to the ceremony. Would you be offended if you came to the wedding and had to put on a head covering? Thanks for your help.

In Christ, M

Christmas cards question

Hope61 — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 03:32:41 +0000

So... I figured that this board has a proportionally larger number of people who didn't/don't live with their FI before marriage, and thats kinda relevant in my question I think...
When you were engaged did you (or will you this year, if you're currently engaged) send out joint Christmas cards? I sent out Christmas cards for the first time last year, and they were just from me, of course. But now that we're engaged, should we sign both our names to my Christmas cards? Or does that not happen until next year?

Thanks!

veils

Jackief11 — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 20:52:11 +0000

Do yall know the requirements for veils? I know that traditionally something covers the shoulders, but I really don't want one lol Anyone heard anything about this?

Married!! (PIP)

catarntina — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 03:11:55 +0000

Hi Ladies!

My wedding was wonderful! The ceremony was absolutely perfect. I wouldn't have changed a thing about it. The priest was so wonderful. I really, really loved the ceremony.

The only thing that really went wrong was that H stepped on my dress right at the beginning of the reception and a couple of the pickups ripped out. But nobody noticed. Haha. I guess some other things went wrong too; my mom was rather livid with the caterer and called to complain about it today, but I was completely oblivous. I was on cloud 9. :D

Here's a few pictures that I took from people's facebook:

My dad walking me down the aisle:

Me just gettng at the end of the aisle, before the WP sat down in the pews. The priest was gently reminding me to get rid of the bouquet. LOL

Me and H at the beginning of the ceremony:

Happy New Year!

Hope61 — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 14:42:01 +0000

New Liturgical year, that is ;-P

So... any plans for Advent?
I'll have the traditional Advent candles and such, of course (haven't bought them yet, though--oops!). Also, my parents' church gives out "Little Blue Books" for Advent. They have usually a prayer/mini-meditation and a little blurb about a Saint, Christmas tradition, or fact for the day for every day of Advent. So I'm planning on making a little extra time every morning to spend a few minutes reading that.

Readings...

ev4149 — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 14:41:52 +0000

I'm a lurker here, but we just received our "Together for Life" book from our parish. I've spent the past few days reading through it. They give you so many options for readings!! I was wondering - which readings did you all pick and why?

Riss, Mica178

Calypso1977 — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 21:53:05 +0000

YGPM

Pregnant bridesmaid

MelindaM83 — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 21:25:09 +0000

Hi Everyone,

First off I just want to say thank you for all those who have responded to my other posts, your advice has been so helpful.

I just found out the one of my nieces, who is also a bridesmaid is pregnant. While I have no problem at all having a prego bridesmaid in the wedding, I'm wondering if it will be an issue with the church. She is 20, and unmarried...I don't know if they will even bother asking her situation or not. I was wondering if anyone else would know their stance is on it. I'm hoping they won't even ask.

NFP Questions

bibliophileemily — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 09:09:17 +0000

Hi, I only just discovered this board; looking around, it seems quite awesome! Hope no one minds me joining.

I've seen a few threads about NFP and NFP-only doctors; as I'm not getting married for another 10 months, I haven't started worrying about it yet (maybe I should be?).

For those who are married, how early did you start learning NFP? Where would be a good idea to start with classes?

Does anyone know of any NFP-only doctors in California? I know it's a big state, but I'd be willing to travel for a doctor like that.

Thanks in advance!

Reception Traditions

[Deleted User] — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 00:19:52 +0000

Are there any Catholic traditions people do at the reception that I may try to incorportate into our reception?

Interesting post and replies from the snark board

libbylo — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 21:46:10 +0000

http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides

How do I add a photo to my sig?

lmeade62 — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 00:24:54 +0000

I searched a few places but couldn't find instructions...only for adding a photo for my avatar and to my post. Is there a way to add a photo to my signature? If so, how?

Catarntina!! Happy wedding week!

Hope61 — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 01:51:56 +0000

Sending up some prayers for you :) I hope you have a non-stressful week and a wonderful day! Looks like the weather should be really nice on Saturday, considering its Toledo and November. (everyone else--no I'm not a stalker, I'm from Toledo too lol) Enjoy your week!

We have a mentor couple and EE weekend scheduled, yay!!

newlyseliski — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 13:45:00 +0000

So at my parish, there's a huge waiting list for mentor couples (good problem to have, eh?) and since my fiance and I were engaged well in advance of our wedding date, we were at the bottom of the list. Our deacon told us to wait until after wedding season for a couple and we just got a call at the end of last week with our assignment! Hooray!

And we also got our EE weekend scheduled for over my fiance's winter school break... but they misspelled his last name. Although I'm all for changing my name, I will miss my easy and simple maiden name that is never misspelled or mispronounced :)

NWR: Pope Benedict is reconsidering the Church's stand on condom use

ootmother2 — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 03:19:52 +0000

He cites the moral factor of preventing the spread of AIDS with male prostitutes."Catholic Ethical Thinking" was his term.

I'm not wild about the exact wording but I do agree with the "social concience" factor that he's considering.

Quite a while ago he said that condom use in AIDS plagued parts of Africa didn't justify the use.

This could be a very interesting point of bringing social concience & ethics to those who don't follow our beliefs about sexual behavior.

Opinions?

Happy thanksiving!

arcany123 — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 15:50:23 +0000

:)

wishing you a blessed holiday!

Wedding fees

MopsieB — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 02:34:13 +0000

If you have had a Catholic wedding, please take this poll...

Marriage Prep work

Vickytoria1803 — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 21:28:29 +0000

My priest is very difficult to get ahold of and Im getting antsy here. Maybe you girls could help me.

My fiance and I have recently moved to MD and are getting married in NY. To get back to NY it takes about 5 hours so we would rather do the pre-cana classes in the local area and then do all the questions with our priest up in NY. Can we do that - take the pre-cana classes in another state?

Also I was reading the pamplet he gave us at our initial meeting and it said something about NFP - do we actually need to do this?

We arent religious people, FH is jewish but to please the families we are having a priest and rabbi. We would REALLY prefer to not go to any classes but understand that we have to in order for the marriage to be recognized in the church. Thanks!!!

Wedding Ceremony Times?

bigleen — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 00:18:48 +0000

I really would love to have an evening wedding reception, but most churches have Vigil mass on saturday around 4-5pm. Just out of curiosity what time are you gals (fellow Catholic Brides) getting married? what time is your reception afterward?

Another Latin Mass question-invites

Hope61 — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 00:17:48 +0000

So... I feel like somewhere in my invitation I should note that this will be a Traditional Latin Mass.

I could put
...
request the honor of your presence
At the Nuptial High Mass
etc. etc.

Or should I put it somewhere else on the main invitation? Like just say "at the wedding/nuptials" etc. etc. and then at the bottom "Traditional Latin High Mass to follow"?

Or, I could put it on the same enclosure card as the reception details (the only enclosure I'm adding).

What have you done?

And yeah... I have plenty of time to decide this, put I'm going DIY and I want to make a mock-up next weekend when I'm at my parents' house.

He's Catholic.....I'm Not...

hayerin — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 12:41:03 +0000

My fiance and I have been together for four years (and still have 18 months until the wedding!), but I am getting very nervous about the precana classes, I have NO idea what to expect.

He was born and raised Catholic, I however was not. I am a Presbyterian, but have no problem with getting married in the Catholic church or raising our children Catholic, but do not plan on becoming Catholic myself.

Does anyone have any advice, hints or just words of wisdom for me? I have NO idea what to expect with having a catholic wedding...

Lots of Questions about Ceremony Time, Church, etc.

lmeade62 — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 16:58:06 +0000

Now that we have 50% (and what we thought would be the hardest part) of the annulment process completed, we are starting to feel hopeful about being able to be married in the Church. And we are so excited about it! But...it raises many questions that we are wrangling with.

We are hoping to have an October wedding (provided the timing works out, we know we have to be flexible about this), which in Missouri could be warm, sunny, rainy, cold just depending on the weather whim. We originally wanted an outdoor reception because we are both very outdoorsy people, but think the stress of worrying about the weather would kill the fun of the wedding!

We literally attend two or three different churches...we usually go to the one where I went into the Church, because it feels like a home church to me, and because I cantor there. I would prefer to get married there because it is absolutely beautiful and we also really like the priest. However, the reception location is...not so much. We would prefer to have the reception in the hall of another Catholic church that we also attend from time to time...the hall is lovely, and the church opens out into a beautiful little pond with ducks and a gazebo. My church is about 35 minutes from the second church. Would that be horribly tacky and offensive to the priests and congregations, to have the wedding at one church and the reception at another?

We also wonder about timing. If we have the wedding at 2, and we do plan to have a full Mass, it would be over about 3 or so. We plan to take all our pictures afterward, because I don't want him seeing me in my dress until I come down the aisle ! However, we know that we and our Catholic guests will have to attend Mass somewhere that evening or the next morning, since the wedding Mass doesn't "count." Mass at church #1 is at 5, so that's out; Mass at church #2 is at 5:30, so that's a possibility...but the question is, would the church let us have the reception in the hall while Mass is going on in the church itself?

I know we probably need to talk to our local folks, but before we do I wanted to know if folks thought we were being unreasonable, excessively complicated, etc. The last thing we want to do is offend our priest and our parish...we've looked at another site for the reception but it can't hold 50 people inside, and my groom is balking at the idea of paying so much for a site AND then having to rent a tent with walls and possibly heaters!

Thanks for your input! We are trying to keep our budge tiny, tiny, tiny, and the whole thing simply and as stress-free as possible.

Ohhh, this is starting to get FUN!!!!!!!!!!!

Linda

Books on natural family planning?

Theresa626 — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 22:11:10 +0000

Hello all,

Long time no see. We would like some advice on good books, websites and materials about natural family planning if you know of any. I would actually like to use it to time the month in which I get pregnant and be more familiar with my fertility cycle. What information can you give me to help me learn more about this?

Thanks

::mica::

Riss91 — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 21:03:40 +0000

YGPM

Just wanted to share

mica178 — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 17:19:31 +0000

I receive the weekly homily from a priest friend of my husband. This one brought tears to my eyes (because it filled me with hope), so I thought I'd share it with you.

Intro
Today is the last Sunday of the Church year. Next week, Advent begins. The Church always celebrates the feast of Christ the King on this last Sunday. We celebrate the power and glory of Christ our king. The Gospel chosen for us today is extraordinary. The Kingship of Jesus Christ is explained from the cross. Jesus is nailed to a cross and talking to the thief being crucified beside him. The Church would have us meditate on this image of a crucified Christ in order to understand the true and deepest nature of his kingship. What an amazing idea! He is king because he is crucified. He is powerful because he is weak. His glory is to be found in suffering and sacrifice.
I. Two stories, story 1, Diogenes and Aristippus
Two quick stories today to try to make sense of this strange and crucified king. First, from philosophy. The Greek philosopher Diogenes was eating lentils one day by the side of the road. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus who became very rich by flattering the king. Aristippus said, “Diogenes, if you only learned to flatter the king, you would not have to live on such garbage as lentils.” Diogenes said, “Aristippus, if you only learned to eat lentils, you would not have to flatter the king.”
II. Application of Diogenes/Aristippus
The first point is that Jesus Christ is not a king, as worldly kings are kings. He does not require of us flattery and glory and adulation. His kingship and our allegiance to him are much simpler matters. He rules the domain of the human heart. He is our king and we are his subjects when, and insofar as, we love. Diogenes is far closer to the true king with his humble lentils than Aristippus is with his flattery of secular power.
III. Story II: Eaglet in the barnyard
The second story comes from one of Cardinal Newman’s homilies: Once upon a time a man found an eagle’s egg and put it in the nest of a backyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life the eagle thought he was a backyard chicken and he did what chickens do: He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked. He flew in clumsy little bursts like a chicken, near to the ground. Once, when he was very old the eagle looked into the sky and saw the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It was a bird flying high on the winds at the top of the sunset. It floated gracefully with hardly a flicker of its great, golden wings. The old eagle stared in wonder, “who is that? He asked. “That’s the eagle, the king of the birds, said his neighbor. But don’t think about him. You and I are nothing compared to him, we are just poor, pathetic chickens.” So the eagle never thought of it again and died thinking he was a chicken.
IV. Application: God became man
Jesus Christ is king. He is the eagle. Jesus Christ became human to show us who and what we really are. As Augustine said so perfectly, God became man so that man could become God. This is precisely the story we see in this morning Gospel. The Good thief is an eagle but he has forgotten who he really is and lives like a chicken: mean, small and scraping the ground. When he sees Jesus Christ, something in him wakes up, remembers that he is indeed an eagle, full of grace and beauty and God’s glory. Jesus Christ is king. But why? Because if we see him, if we truly see Jesus Christ, we are awakened and remember who we truly are. Jesus Christ is truly God and he became like us so that we could become like him. You see? We are eagles But too many of us go through our whole lives living like poor pathetic chickens. Wake up! Pay attention! We have such infinite possibilities my brothers and sisters. Because a Jewish carpenter rose for the dead, everything is possible.

NWR: What are you looking forward too.....

wifeandmommy0609 — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 17:24:55 +0000

What are you looking forward to this thanksgiving?

and

If anyone is going black friday shopping what are you hoping to get?

Catholic Weddings — The Knot Community

**OOT**

Catholic wedding fees

Jordan Almonds?

Great Article on the BCP

Head Coverings?

Christmas cards question

veils

Married!! (PIP)

Happy New Year!

Readings...

Riss, Mica178

Pregnant bridesmaid

NFP Questions

Reception Traditions

Interesting post and replies from the snark board

How do I add a photo to my sig?

Catarntina!! Happy wedding week!

We have a mentor couple and EE weekend scheduled, yay!!

NWR: Pope Benedict is reconsidering the Church's stand on condom use

Happy thanksiving!

Wedding fees

Marriage Prep work

Wedding Ceremony Times?

Another Latin Mass question-invites

He's Catholic.....I'm Not...

Lots of Questions about Ceremony Time, Church, etc.

Books on natural family planning?

::mica::

Just wanted to share

NWR: What are you looking forward too.....

OOT