Pre-wedding Parties — The Knot Community

Gifts for Shower Hosts?

patreato — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 06:56:53 +0000

Hello fellow Kmotties What is an appropriate or good gift to get the host of your bridal shower? Mine is being hosted by a family friend. Thoughts, suggestions, help!!! Thank you!!

Bachelorette Party Issue

brecciamonkey — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:08:36 +0000

So I live in northern Nevada and my three bridesmaids are all in California (1 in Northern California and the other 2 in Southern California). The one in Nor Cal, we'll call her Lu, has really taken the reins and wants everything to be perfect. The problem is, the 2 in Southern California (we'll call them Mina and Ray) do not like Lu. Ray just lost her job and cannot afford to travel for the BP to come to Northern Cal or Nevada, which I completely understand. Lu basically told me by text (she has laryngitis right now so I can't really talk to her by phone) that I either have to go to Southern Cal for my BP, or I can do it wherever I want but Ray will not be able to make it. Then asked should we not have one, or what would I like to do.

I don't know what to do at this point. She is trying to organize this since I will be traveling for thesis work for a month this summer and possibly without phone service. Once I get back, the wedding will be in 2 months.

Should I not have a BP? My fiance suggested that the girls come here a few days before the wedding and we do it then, but I am hesitant because my parents (from Texas) will be in town and I do not get to see them often. At this point it sounds like it will be more trouble than it is worth. What do you girls think? Have any of you been in a similar situation?

Bachelorette Party Tank Tops

ajroark — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 17:35:54 +0000

I want to get those tank tops that say "Bride To-Be" and "Maid of Honor" etc for my Bachelorette Party, but I'm wondering who buys those? Do I buy them and give them to my bridesmaids or does the maid of honor (who is planning my bachelorette party) get those? Also, where is the best place to find them?

Bachelorette party at the beach

MeganBM — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 13:41:13 +0000

So as a gift to my girls for giving me a bachelorette party, I would like to do little gift bags for them. I would like to put some things in there that they would like- I am thinking a tealight candle ( the one from yankee that smells like the sun and the sand) with a holder, maybe a personalized makeup bag, etc.. I need ideas, stuff that will help remind them of the fun weekend we will have- but nothing too costly! Or should I take them all out to lunch or something?
Help!

Couples shower idea help

somerangel85 — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 18:02:54 +0000

Hello! I am one of the BM's throwing a couples shower for my friend who is getting married in July. At the shower we were wanting to have each couple decorate a glass for the bride and groom with some "words of advice". The girls did something similar at one of my showers and it was something I really treasure. I just can't think of something cute to write on the signs so that people know what to do. Help! :)

Themed Rehearsal Dinner: Thoughts?

littldarbs — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 17:26:25 +0000

My husband to be and I were thinking about doing a themed rehearsal dinner to make it a little more fun and interesting than the traditional rehearsal dinner. What do you think would be a better theme, Roaring 20's or Groovy 60's? We're having trouble deciding and could use some outside opinions! Thank you!

Potluck Shower (Hear me out!)

JustineOlivia — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 16:35:58 +0000

Okay, so I KNOW potlucks aren't advised for parties. But my idea for my sister's bridal shower was to do a cooking/recipe shower, so people could bring a dish, along with the recipe in a predetermined format so we could put them all together in a book for her. So she would actually get to SEE and TASTE the dishes she's getting recipes for. I thought it sounded fun. Then, if people want, they could also bring food and cooking-related gifts.

And/or: we could play some kind of cooking challenge games, like iron chef or throwdown, etc...

Would THIS sort of potluck be in poor taste (pun intended)?

Uncommitted maids?

editas20 — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 03:17:34 +0000

So our wedding was originally planned for July. For health reasons, we had to do a small family wedding in April (next week!). My girls knew about this wedding over 4 weeks ago.

I just mentioned to them about having a small bachelorette party/get together the night before last weekend. Today, I found out my bridesmaids had made other plans for that night with other friends and won't be able to make it. The only one coming is my maid of honor...

Am I being unreasonable by being upset? Anyone else having a similar issue? What do I do now?

DC Bachelorette Party

MeghanPacifico — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 01:36:06 +0000

Hi! Anyone know of any good locations in DC for a Bachelorette Party? We want a pretty crazy kind of night :)

Venice Beach Themed Couple's Shower

taraeliz09 — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 01:04:41 +0000

I'm planning a venice beach inspired couple's shower for my sister and her fiance. They spent a summer in California together and fell in love with the venice beach area so I wanted to bring some of that to Oklahoma for them. Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions for me? I've decided to make it a summer cookout with horseshoes and other outdoor games. I think I will use some bare bulb lighting on my back porch but that's as far as I've gotten. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Bachelorette RSVPs

jennkell — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 16:48:17 +0000

I sent an invite for my best friend's bachelorette party through Facebook because the bride and I thought that would be the easiest way to get ahold of everyone. The problem is, the only ones that have responded are the bride and her 3 bridesmaids, including me!
Should I call everyone? Do I need to send out formal invites?
Suggestions?

Columbus, Ohio Vicinity Bachelorette party?

lynnV — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 13:47:13 +0000

Any ideas on what we could do? i've thought about getting a party bus and taking it skullys during one of the dance nights but i would like some other plans. Preferably we want to do something local and my girls aren't the spa or pole dancing type of ladies but we still party. Thoughts?

My sister/MOH not giving me a shower

lindsaynewbride10 — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 23:00:25 +0000

Maybe I'm feeling this way because I've always envisioned my wedding and the parties leading up to the wedding. But here's the thing, my sister, who is also my MOH, is not giving me a shower for my side of the family. My future-sister-in-laws ARE giving me a shower on my FI's side of the family. I asked my sister about it via text yesterday, because the summer is filling up really fast and I basically needed to know whether a) she was doing it period, and b) when it was planned for. She said simply, "I can't."

I really hate that there's any chance of this coming off selfish of me to be upset because I get that showers are a GIFT, and not something to be expected, nor should I EXPECT one because of everything I've done for her, which is a lot. But, I do. I do expect it from her. It would take me a couple days to tell you all about my sister and everything I've done to help keep her head above water over the past 5 years, but I don't want to bore you with that.

It just really hurts my feelings that my sister doesn't seem to care that this is something really important to me. And if it's a financial thing, I've been engaged for the past 9 months, why couldn't she start stashing away $, and just throw a very budget friendly shower?!? I know I'm going to catch sh*t over that comment but it's honestly how I feel.

Can anyone maybe relate to this?

RSVP Question

sarahfowler38 — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 18:37:40 +0000

I need some advise about RSVPs. We are having our wedding at a ski mountain during the summer, which means that it is pretty dead. Almost all of our guests are coming in from out of town, so we are renting out a bar/band for the night before so everyone has something to do. We are also providing a shuttle service from the hotel to the bar and back for that night.

We are not buying food for everyone that night (only those involved in the rehearsal), but it will be available at the restaurant. The restaurant has asked for a general head count so he can make sure there is enough food available (especially since it's an off-season and he doesn't usually have much available).

My family thinks that I should put it on the RSVP cards for the wedding, which I would normally agree with, but I'm wondering if it is inapprorpiate to ask for an RSVP to something that we aren't paying for. I understand we need to get a head count, and I can't really think of another way. Thoughts? Is this okay?

Used Gift for Bridal Shower

kimdivagirl — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 18:55:07 +0000

Hi! I am maid of honor for my friends wedding and I am thinking of doing a cafe theme for her bridal shower, because her whole family loves coffee. I plan to buy a good quality espresso maching to make the coffee drinks at the party, and then give it to her as her gift, but is it bad that it will be used first at the party? I don't want it to seem cheap to give it used, but I cannot afford to buy two so she has a brand new one as a gift and still have one for the party.

complaining bridesmaids

nutty miesha — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 14:43:47 +0000

I need some sort of help or advice to deal with whiny and complaing bridesmaids. I have 6 girls in the wedding party. 3 of them are friends & 3 are family members. My sister is the MOH and has had her fair share of complaining but I can put that as she doesn't want anything bad to go wrong with anything that has been put on her plate. My other 2 family members have been great and have been very helpful. My 3 friends on the other side haven't been. They have complained about every single thing. The bridesmaid dress which cost $150 (includes tax) which was purchased by Davids Bridal. Only reason I chose Davids Bridal was because some of the girls live in other States and I wanted a place they could easily walk into and purchase the gown. They complained about the price!! Then the bridal and bachelorette party which will be held over Memorial Day wknd since everyone lives in different states or cities. They complained about the cost of the limo. I didn't realize that prom season was in May. COmpletly forgot about that, but I chose that wknd primarily because everyone has a 3 day wknd. I thought it would be more helpful to them since then they wouldn't need to take any extra time off of work. And everyone was all onboard when I discussed this plan back in Dec-Jan. Know the 3 bridesmaids can't stop complaining about the price of everything right down to the make up artist (which was optional). I have been trying not to be a bridezilla and I have asked everyone countless times if they were ok with everything that they had to pay for. No one said anything negative when I proposed these things to them at the begining of the year. And know they all want to act out like its an inconvenience. I have other stresses and pressures to deal with besides whiny girls. What can I do so that I don't turn into a bridezilla and go crazy!!! Thank you for all your input. I will need it.

OOT Bridal Shower - I'm freaking out

Tamma254 — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 22:20:49 +0000

My FMIL is planning a "surprise" shower for me(his family STILL doesn't know that I know), in the city where he grew up... Two hours away from we currently live, along with all of my family and a good portion of our friends. To be fair, this is the mid-point between where FMIL lives, and where we live.

My issue is that my friends and family won't be able to go, due to lack of a car, or anxiety driving that far on the freeway. I tried explaining this to him, and he made me feel like it was my Man of Honor's fault, since he never replied to FMIL, and that it is my family's fault, because they're being unreasonable.

He tells me to deal with it, and just have another shower here, which means another day I have to take off from my new job, which doesn't seem fair to my new boss. I just feel like screaming, I didn't want to have a shower in the first place, let alone two.

help???

Bridal Shower "Naughty" gift opening Etiquette

disturbedkitty — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 04:06:14 +0000

My shower is tomorrow. My mother gave me a heads up that her friend is getting me something "naughty" for the bridal shower. When I asked her if it was just some nice lingerie, she said "No. It is worse. It will make you blush and say 'oh dear'". She wouldn't tell me what it was. My FSIL also told me that she knows at least one of her friends is getting me something risque. How should I respond when I open these gifts? Should I hold them up, but not pass them around? I don't think any of the shower guests will be offended by naughty gifts, but I am not sure.

Is this idea bad etiquette?

kimberlykh — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 03:40:20 +0000

I got engaged last month and my FI and I will have officially set our date/location tomorrow (provided all goes as planned). We had thought about hosting an engagement party at one of our favorite restaurants to "officially" ask our in-town friends/family (about half are out of town) to be part of our wedding. In no means is this meant to get gifts, I honestly would not expect it. And, we would only invite the people and their significant others who will become part of the wedding. We'd pay the bill as a first gift for them to be our bridesmaids/groomsmen. I came to this board to get some ideas, and now I'm reading that it is bad etiquette to throw yourself an engagement party. Is this bad etiquette? Could we call it something different to make it more acceptable? Thoughts are appreciated. This bridal stuff is tough!

Self-addressed: When you are asked to address your shower thank-you note

CranburyBride — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 20:44:53 +0000

I came across this on the Emily POst site today: http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/11/self-addressed-when-the-bride-asks-you-to-address-your-thank-you-note/

How do you feel about being asked to self-address your thank-you at showers? I see this more and more to the point that I think it is becoming the norm. But after reading this I may ask my MOH and the family friend that are throwing my showers to kindly not do this. I am split on this.

Bachelorette Party Ideas near Rochester, NY

Jvell24 — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 17:49:32 +0000

I am looking for suggestions for my Bachelorette Party. My bridesmaids are more than excited to plan it but I'm just not sure where I want it. My ideal plan would be a weekend of relaxation and partying. I was thinking of maybe renting a house on a lake or staying overnight at a casino in Finger Lakes or Niagara Falls (US Side)Please Help!!!!

SuMmErKuTiE

trix1223 — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 23:31:46 +0000

You've got a PM.

Bachelorette Party Help

whiterabbit5 — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 15:20:54 +0000

My bridal party consists of my MOH (sister), my matron of honor (best friend), and 3 of my close friends. Due to my sister living 3 and half hours away and her and I not being extremely close, my matron of honor is organizing the bachelorette party with the help of the other bridesmaids and input from MOH. Due to my sister living so far away and being underage, my matron wants to throw two parties: one where we go out to dinner and do something like galactic bowling, and the other would be us older girls going out for a night on the town (they have a whole night planned so I'm speculating on specifics). Do you think having two bachelorette parties is ok and will my sister be offended if I explain to her the situation? I don't want to hurt feelings and i specifically told the other bridesmaids that I wouldn't mind having one party.

Bridal Shower Themes

Allycat11 — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 18:29:53 +0000

I saw my FMIL today and we were talking about my shower that will happen this summer. She is planning a coed shower and loves themes...as do I. She wanted my input because she wants it to be something I like. She asked my opinion for themes and honestly I have no idea where to begin, I know I'm not responsible for planning it, and other than giving her a few ideas of themes I like I don't think I'll be involved at all. So any good theme ideas?

shower gifts

nic9911 — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 03:34:18 +0000

is it unheard of for the bridal party to go in on a gift together. for example a larger or more expensive one in addition to hosting the shower?

MOH and BMs want to have Bachelorette Party at my Place...

disturbedkitty — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 03:04:04 +0000

The MOH and BMs want to have the party at my place. I am a little uncomfortable with that idea because there is going to be alcohol, and one of the BMs has a tendency to overindulge and then puke. I reeeeeeally don't want to have to clean that up (or any post-bachelorette party messes, really). Is it normal for the party to be at the bride's place? Doesn't that make me kind of a host, since I need to clean up before and after the party? How should I approach this? I did tell my MOH I was a little worried that one of the BMs would get sick, but she said she would keep her from getting too drunk. Still...I am a little worried. Advice? Side note: some of the people at the party are going to be underage, so we can't just go bar hopping. Instead, my BMs wanted to have alcohol for those that aren't underage, so everyone can be together.

Who pays for bridal shower?? Frustrated :(

Miss GS — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 21:25:08 +0000

Im over it. I feel stressd out enough planning my wedding, yet I feel like Im now planning my own bridal shower. I know its rude to expect people to pay for your shower, but I have 2 MOH and they both spend money like crazy. My fiance and I are on a strict budget and now I am trying to find ways to pay for this shower. Should I expect some help financially, or am i completely in left field? Sometimes I feel like I shouldnt have a shower, I guess i just expected my girls to step up to the plate, like I do for them. Venting sorry, need advice.

A Dessert Bridal Shower

musicxstore — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 18:31:53 +0000

How should I go about planning this?
-What time should it be? I don't want guests expecting a full meal when just desserts will be served.
-Should games be played?
Any suggestions would be appreciated! Thank you

Bridal Party Question.....PLEASE HELP!

leasaj — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 18:17:34 +0000

I am getting married where I currently live (VA), My family lives 8 hours away in PA. My sister wants to throw me a bridal shower back in PA and wants to invite many cousins & family members who aren't going to be invited to the wedding. I know etiquette says that you're not supposed to invite ppl to a shower unless they are getting an invite to the wedding. My sister says that ppl around there wouldn't be able to attend EVEN if they got an invite and should be included. What do you think?!?

my daughter and the shower

Knottie24408202 — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 02:27:49 +0000

I recently helped make a bridal shower for my niece. My daughter, who has significant emotional problems did not respond to her invitation and did not attend the shower. Needless to say, I felt terrible about her behavior,, but want to be supportive of my daughter. The mother of the bride, her aunt, wants to call her and confront her on her behavior. I disagree and feel she should just accept things how they are. My daughter is very fragile and would not respond well to a confrontation and her aunt knows this. How do I protect my daughter and maintain my relationship with my sister-in-law? Would love feedback.

Jude