Pre-wedding Parties — The Knot Community

Opening Shower Gifts

lindsay5432 — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 16:27:16 +0000

Do I need to open all the gifts including all the cards, at the shower with everyone watching? I understand doing the gifts but I'm not sure about opening cards/envelopes with everyone.

RE: Bridal Shower Ettiquette

Starfish2002 — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 13:11:44 +0000

Hi,

My first bridal shower is next Saturday. There is a good amount of people who RSVP'ed to come that I havent seen in a while. Is it bad ettiquette for myself, the bride, to be there to greet my guests before the shower or should I show up after the start time....

Thank you!

Stephanie

Can't find bridal shower tableware

agwalt01 — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 22:27:10 +0000

Hi. I am hosting a bridal shower on Easter weekend. The decor will be bright colors like fuschia, teal, yellow, and green. Most bridal tableware patterns I have seen are pale in color. Just wondering if anyone has seen anything out there that is colorful, but doesn't have black or brown in it.

Thanks!

Bridal shower and inviting out of state guests

rebcgo — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 13:53:34 +0000

I have a lot of family that are out of state. Should I invite them to my bridal shower even though I know they won't be able to make it?

Rehearsal Dinner Help!

dqtcer08 — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 01:18:34 +0000

I need help! My future mother in law just informed my fiancé today that she would like to help with the rehearsal dinner (his parents are divorced). She wants to make the dinner but the rehearsal is at a church in Cleveland, which is an hour away from our home and we will be staying at a hotel. We were just planning on going to a restaurant afterwards but we don’t want to hurt her feelings. It also doesn’t help she lives in Canada and barely talk or see her. Have any ideas on what to do?

Multiple Showers?

mcahill1 — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 16:56:37 +0000

My sisters are my co-MOH and are planning to throw me a bridal shower. My fiancé and I live about 6 hours from my hometown, which is where they live and where that shower is going to be. My fiancés parents live only about 40 minutes from where we live and we’ve decided to have the wedding in his hometown (where his parents live). If his mom decides to throw me a shower, is that OK? I’m worried it would hurt my sisters feelings. Would his mom still be expected to come to the shower my MOH’s throw for me? Would my MOH be expected to come up for the shower my MIL throws for me? THANKS!!

on high alert!

mkjpop — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 16:49:19 +0000

I know my bridal party is throwing me a surprise shower and a surprise bachelorette, but I don't know when they are. There's a possibility that there's one this weekend (my MOH made plans with me to do something, which raised my suspicions, but then she cancelled?... a friend slipped and said "see you at your bachelorette!"...), but who knows.

Basically, my question is... how do I dress for this? I'm possibly going to lunch with my fiance and then hanging out with his sister and her young daughters....or not...?

I don't know. I'm just going to feel like a doofus if I get all dolled up. Maybe I should just start carrying around an emergency set of cute clothes. How did everyone else handle this?

(and so you know... I'm not a control freak... I just definitely tend toward the anxious side of things...)

FI bachlor Party :)

mehgan11 — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 05:58:50 +0000

So FI's bachlor party is in a couple days and I am super excited for him. Though, he keeps telling me he would rather me go as well, we do everything together always have, we just have fun. I want him to go and have a good time and enjoy himself, and I hve told him so numerous times. Everytime I tell him to just go out with the guys have fun he tells me it won't be fun without me :(. He tried telling BM he won't go unless I can, BM says no its your bachlor party she had hers.

So how do I convince FI he will have a great time without me? or what would you do in a situation like this?

Help:: tough decision

JacksonToBe — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 23:43:15 +0000

Hey gals! So, we got engaged last July, and have been planning and paying deposits for a while now. We decided on a September wedding. Recently we found out that my grandfather, who I am very close to, has cancer. the doctors only gave him 6-9 months. =(

My summer is sooo busy. I am graduating law school in May, and taking the bar in July. My bar classes start in early May. This is the reason for the September wedding.

I really don't want to change the date. and originally my fiance and I had decided not - its our dream destination wedding on the beach. Also we have put down a lot of money already. It breaks my heart to think that my grandfather might not be there. And if my grandfather asks me to move the wedding so he can be there, I have to.

My sister suggested a "mock" wedding - on a much smaller scale at home just for my grandfather. I need some advice. What do you all think? A pre "mock" wedding? or the real thing and just do a vow renewal in September? Or a completely new idea/ thought?

Thanks so much!

Bridal Shower Invites

Jennifer102011 — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 18:49:22 +0000

There are a few guests on my FI's half of the guest list that he doesn't know. These are relatives that he would not normally see if we weren't getting married. Do I need to invite them to the bridal shower?

Readers Come In...Help needed w/ bridal shower game

annie10 — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:27:11 +0000

If you're a reader hopefully you can help me! I'm doing a match the bride to the book game for my sister's bridal shower. She's a librarian and an avid reader. I'm looking for fictional brides and the books they are in. I already posted on The Nest book club board and they were very helpful. This is my list so far....

Claire Abshire in The Time Traveler's Wife

Fleur Delacour in Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

Isabella Swan in Breaking Dawn

Buttercup in The Princess Bride

Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice

Amy March in LIttle Women

Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind

Becky Bloomwood in Shopaholic TIes the Knot

I'm trying to come up with 10, so I need 2 more. Thank you so much!

What should I do? (sorry, its kind of long)

mandalove7 — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 13:21:46 +0000

I never thought a bridal shower would cause so much chaos. My FMIL and my mother were going in on a bridal shower together for me. My mom works two jobs and told my FMIL that she thought it would be best to wait until August for a bridal shower, that way she could contribute financially and actually be there! Well, FMIL had other plans, she decided to invite 75 of her friends and wants to have it in May.(She has already started planning it w/o my mom!) Last night I got a text from FMIL, saying that she is hosting my bridal party at the children's advocacy center(basically this is a local place for children to go to talk about being abused and raped, etc) I got upset, I don't feel like this is an appropriate place for a bridal shower but I didn't say anything because as I have read on here, all the bridal party decisions are up to the hostess. FMIL asked me to ask my mom how many people she wanted to invite so she could give her invitations...I told my mom where she was having it and asked her how many people she wanted to have there...my mom blew up and said she WILL NOT invite any of her friends to such an awful place for a bridal shower and that she would throw me a bridal shower in August(as originally discussed). This whole ordeal has caused more problems than I can write on here because it would be way to long. What do I do? My mom is so upset and feels so disrespected about this, she only wants what is best for me and she feels like the bridal party is going to be a disaster. Is my FMIL wrong? Is this really an appropriate place? I'm just at the point now where I can't wait until the wedding is over..its been nothing but a battle with people(mostly FMIL and FSIL) telling me what they won't do and what I don't need to do.

Sorry this is so long :-/

Engagement party invitation wording

JenniferLeighS — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 02:11:56 +0000

I need a tactful way of saying that an engagement party is adults only and that we prefer small children not attend.

Help!

Throwing a shower - Do I include the MOH in planning?

jumpingjacks — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 17:57:22 +0000

My Mom and I are throwing a shower for my future sister in law. I'm not in the wedding party, which I say just for clarification on my role. We plan to invite the bridesmaids and maid of honour (they are all in her family and have indicated that they are not throwing her a shower). Is there certain etiquette around how we should include the MOH and maids in the planning, considering they are not hosting?

I checked with the MOH before going ahead with the decision to throw the shower, to see if she was planning one that would include the same guests and make ours unnecessary. She is not planning one (We were relatively sure before hand that she wouldn't). After that, she went ahead and initially told the bride that we were planning a shower before I had a chance to. The MOH also told the bride to put together her own guest list (which doubled our planned guest list) and then sent this to me, even though we were only planning a small shower with close family. Each time I connect with the bride about the shower, she includes her MOH in her email responses.

I'm not sure if I've missed some etiquette here. Am I not allowed to talk to the bride about the shower that we are hosting without going through her MOH? Have I done something wrong by not including her MOH in a more formal way? Given that my Mom and I are hosting, shoud the MOH have a role in the planning?

Shower by Proxy?

blueyeris — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 20:58:05 +0000

Is it OK to have a shower by proxy?

I am the sister of the groom, and my mother (mother of the groom) would like to throw a shower for the couple. They are getting married May 20, and all of the family/friends on the groom's side live 3.5-7 hours away. The MOH and MOB already threw a bridal shower for the bride's side of family (groom's side was not invited).

My mother is thinking of throwing a "shower by proxy" for the couple as (1) time is short and (2) our side is unlikely to be able to make the trip anyway.

Two questions:

(1) Is this OK?
(2) Advice/ettiquite on how this is done?

We won't want this to appear to be only a request for gifts for the couple, as it is not and we also want to make sure our side of the family does not feel left out. Any thoughts, suggestions, advice would be greatly appreciated! TIA!

How many should I invite?

Hippinhipster — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 23:50:51 +0000

My pre-wedding parties wont be for another few months but everyone throwing the parties are already asking me about guest lists... so far it'll be a bridal shower, co-ed wedding shower and a bach party... so I was wondering how many people to invite to each one? I know not to invite the same people to more then one party but not sure how many to invite in the first place... thanks for the help ladies :)

Large Bachelorette Party

Dittmann — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 22:06:56 +0000

My sister is getting married in July and we are planning her bachelorette party in June. I would love to take her to a ball game but I really can't afford it. She is planning on about 20 people for the party and I am at a loss for what to do. I am thinking of dinner and a winery but I would like to keep cost down for people and there is travel taht is a problem too. Any ideas on someting different that we can do for the party? Thanks

More than one shower....how does this work??

awilliam1 — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 14:07:30 +0000

I am a little confused about this whole situation. I started planning my own shower early on. I know its supposed to be MOH and family planning it, but my mom died and I am an only child, so I have just sort of gotten used to doing things on my own. My MOH is going to take care of details, etc. when it gets closer, but now some family from my dad's side have said they are planning on throwing me a "family shower". What does that mean? Do I not invite them to the shower I have already started planning? I don't want them to feel like they have to come to two showers and buy two gifts, etc. And does this "family shower only consist of that side and not my FI's family? I am happy they want to be involved, but I am just not sure how to handle all of it.

Bridal Shower Thank you gifts

ashley2626 — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 12:27:06 +0000

My mom really wants me to give a knitted kitchen cloth as a thank you to everyone who comes to my shower. I am thinking its kinda cheap. Any suggestions?

Bone colored folding chairs for shower

bullielove — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 18:22:28 +0000

I am being really anal, but if i have that color folding chairs should i opt for ivory colored linens instead of white? Thanks

Inviting out of town guests to the shower?

angeltennis3 — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 20:58:16 +0000

My FI's family lives approximately 6 hours away. My FMIL asked the etiquette on inviting out of town guests to the wedding shower. Since we only visit his family a few times a year, I have only met out of town family/friends once or twice. I feel bad sending them an invitation and basically asking for a gift since I don't know them that well. However, they all obviously know and love FI and I'm sure want to help him start his married life.

What is the etiquette on inviting out of town guests to a shower?

shower game idea

Schweikher — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 00:40:02 +0000

Some of the shower games I looked up were boring, overdone, or confusing. This idea popped into my head so I thought I would share. I loved mad libs as a kid.

The Couple's Story Mad Libs
Many people already have an "our story" section on their webpage so you can just copy and alter this, or write a new one.
While the bride is opening gifts in between every few gifts ask the crowd for a noun, verb, adjective ect.. then when the bride has finished all her gifts read the hillarious mixed up story aloud.

Here is our original story followed by our mad lib

our story

Our story began in the Fall of 2001. I first spent time with Danielle in junior year study hall in the highly romantic east commons. We sat together everyday, chatting, eating Otis Spunkmeyer cinnamon buns, and most importantly flirting. Months went by and we finally had our first date on Valentine’s day.
That spring we went to our Junior prom together. The following spring we went to our Senior prom together as well. Then that fall we attended UConn.
We had our rough patches, as all those who truly love one another do, but we always managed to find our way back into each others hearts.
A blink of an eye later, on July 30th, 2010 I proposed and we’d now like to welcome all of our friends and family to celebrate the continuation of our lives together!

Our Story MAD LIBS

Our story began in the Fall of __________ (year). I first spent time with Danielle in junior year study hall in the highly _____________ (adjective) east commons. We sat together everyday, ___________ (verb), eating ___________ (noun), and most importantly _____________ (verb). Months went by and we finally had our first date on _____________ (a holiday).
That spring we went to our Junior prom together. The following spring we went to our Senior prom together as well. Then that fall we attended _________ (a place).
We had our rough patches, as all those who truly love one another do, but we always managed to find our way back into each others _____________ (organ plural).
A blink of a ___________ (body part) later, on July 30th, 2010 I proposed and we’d now like to welcome all of our __________ (noun plural) and __________ (noun plural) to celebrate the continuation of our lives together!

rehearsal dinner splitting the bill

showensa — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 20:18:15 +0000

My fiance and i have paid for pretty much our whole wedding ourselves. what is a nice way to write on the rehearsal dinner invitations that the guests will need to pay for their own meal?

Bachelorette Party - No lingerie Wanted - Theme Ideas???

moh19773 — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:29:16 +0000

Hello -
I am the MOH,throwing a large bachelorette party....The bride does NOT want any lingerie. I have been trying to think of a theme for the party to avoid that. I thought of a Stock the Bar party but they received nearly all barware at the shower.

Any ideas would bre GREATLY appreciated.

TIA

Need help with Spice it up shower

queen_bee101 — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 03:08:26 +0000

I am trying to plan a bridal shower for my sister and want to do a "Some like it hot" and/or "Spice it Up" theme... Not necessarily lingerie specific, but being open/creative to whatever it means to add spice to the marriage.

I think it's a really fun idea, but I'm lacking in the creativity department for invitation design and wording.

Can somebody help me with ideas for how to word (and/or design/decorate) the invitation? I'm thinking I'd like to say something about bringing a gift to help spice up the marriage, being creative to what that means, etc. Could be a poem or something fun like: "Roses are red, chili peppers are too..." and then go on to say something about spicing it up.

Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!!

Any thoughts/ideas???

TIA!!!

Bridal Shower Invites

winer123 — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 15:57:33 +0000

Do I send an invitation to the shower if I know the guest, who is invited to the wedding, but will not be attending?

Bachelorette Party Invitation

MandK9 — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 21:05:18 +0000

I did a search on here, and see that people think it's tacky to send out invitations for bachelorette parties? I had no idea. I was planning on sending out invitations for my cousin's bachelorette party, at which we'll all be meeting up for dinner at a restaurant, then out for a night "on the town" (HATE that term, need some less-lame alternatives) bar-hopping. It's a pay-your-way type deal.

So, it's tacky to send invites? I shouldn't do that?

Is Easter weekend bad?

Shel79 — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 20:00:45 +0000

Hi all,
My mom has taken control of my bridal shower, since my MOH and other BM can't seem to figure anything out. I talked to my mom last night, and she said she has booked the shower for Saturday, April 23. . . which is Easter weekend. I told her that I wasn't sure that would be the best weekend, but she sees no problem with having the shower on what is essentially a holiday.
I guess I'm just looking for opinions - would you come to a shower on that Saturday? Will people think that is a bad date, or am I just crazy? I don't imagine that my mom will change the date - she feels very strongly on that - and I really don't have a say in that anyhow. . . I guess I just wanted to know if I'm nuts for thinking that isn't the best date.

Bridal shower and Personal shower

konababe1 — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 02:57:42 +0000

There is going to be two showers. The regular bridal shower and a personal or lingerie shower. Since the bridal shower is about gifts for the house and the personal is about lingerie is it ok to invite a handful of the women to both. I feel bad not inviting them to the bridal shower, since the personal shower is for close friends and family....

my wedding shower outfit

xcrewgal — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 21:55:10 +0000

The wonderful mothers of two of my friends are hosting my bridal shower at a very swanky tennis club. I only had "little black dresses" so decided to go out and get something a bit more springtime and feminine.

What do you think? I found it at Ann Taylor. Also bought patent pumps to go with, since they were on sale. Do you think I should have gotten a nude color instead?