Pre-wedding Parties — The Knot Community

engagement party

asommella — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 23:29:17 +0000

when do you normally have the engagement party? FI and I just got engaged but are planning a long engagement. possiblely a 2012 or 2013 wedding. do you plan engagement party now or closer to the wedding?
Thanks

Bachelorette party help!

jxberry12 — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 02:12:54 +0000

Hi Ladies,
I am a younger bride and I need help! I really would like to go out for a least a little bit to the bars for my party, but 3 of my bm will not be 21 yet (i have 8 bm) What do you suggest I do? We will probably go out to dinner, then go to some bars, then maybe go back to the hotel. would it be rude if they couldn't go to the bars, and we just met them a little bit later at the hotel? What should I do!?

uninvited wedding shower

amysusanh — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 02:52:13 +0000

Some girls that work with my fiance want to throw us a wedding shower, but we had decided not to invite them to the wedding. Should we decline the shower, and if so, how? Or should we just invite them to the wedding?

Thank you Gift for hosts of engagement Party?

mhoneill — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 13:20:59 +0000

My mother and aunts have worked incredably hard over the past couple of months to plan and awesome engagement party for me and my fiance. I am increadable greatful to everyone and would like to show my appriciation with something for them. I was thinking spa gift certificates, but not all of them live in the area. Any suggestions?

bridal shower date

michelle6605 — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 14:34:36 +0000

what is the earliest a bridal shower can be held?

Who hosts the bachelorette party and should I assume?

ChevyGirl25 — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 00:42:26 +0000

My fiance and I are not having a wedding party, but both have a group of close friends. Since none of my friends will be bridesmaids or attendants of any kind, I'm kind of worried that no one will offer to throw me a bachelorette party. Is this normal?
Should I assume that someone will offer to throw me one? What if no one offers?

My bridal showers are covered by my mom and the womens ministry at my church, but the bachelorette party I'm kind of worried about. Any advice?

Bachelorette Party in Vegas!!!!!

sumsuuum — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 14:37:19 +0000

Hey girls,

I was just wondering for those of you who have gone to Vegas for bachelorette parties, what are some good ideas? The bride does not want to go to a club or a male strip club, so we are thinking a fun dinner and a nice lounge. Do you girls have any ideas? Thanks!

Summer

Question about my Bridal Shower? Help! lol

maria55 — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:45:29 +0000

Ok so I have a stupid question... my bridal shower is this Sunday and it's from 3-5pm... when exactly should I show up? Am I supposed to be there right away to welcome guests or should I come right at 3? when it starts or a little late to make an entrance?? LOL

I have no clue what the "proper" thing is... help me out guys!!

Also- am I supposed to have a gift for the hostess? (My MOH?) Man, I'm clueless!

Gifts....For Who? Bridal Shower

mkarns — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 14:00:07 +0000

My Bridal Shower is Sunday...I don't want to sound cheap, but I want to get the people involved the appropriate gifts.

All three girls are BM's:
1 Girl is hosting the Shower at her house
1 Girl did all of the invites, planning, etc
1 Girl TALKS about how she's helping, but I'm not sure what she's doing (she uses phrases like "We're taking care of everything"

Now I'm in the dark about the whole thing so I dont know how much time and effort has been contributed, but I DO KNOW that the hostess should receive a gift from me.

So...Do I get all 3 girls a gift? Do I get the house host something big and the planners maybe a bottle of wine and a thank-you card? Or should I just get all three of them equal gifts and thank-you's, since I don't know who really did what?

I was thinking sets from Henry & David?

Thoughts? Help from the experienced?

Thanks ahead of time!

Advice on How to Decline Bachelor(ette) Parties

MeganAngela — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:06:58 +0000

My guy and I have decided that we don't want to have bachelor or bachelorette parties. Neither of us are into nights of drunken debauchery or strippers because we feel they'd be disrespectful to the relationship we have set up. However, we both have friends who would offer to throw us parties and then completely ignore us when we say NO STRIPPERS! We know that if we declined having strippers but then agreed to go to a party, our friends would just dupe us and there would be strippers anyway. So we want to not have bachelor(ette) parties. How would we go about declining them so as not to hurt people's feelings or start drama with our friends who are a little more, shall we say, immature?

Personally, I feel bad that we can't have parties because we can't trust some of our friends. I think that is the worst part about it, to be honest. And I know this is way too early to think about, but I'll admit that I like to think about things ahead of time so that I have plenty of time to mull it over and keep my anxiety down (having an anxiety disorder is the worst sometimes :( ).

So, any advice? What about alternatives so that we don't have to completely discount parties? Has anyone ever had a joint bachelor(ette) party? I've heard suggestions of having, like, a boys vs. girls night with things like Rock Band, bowling, arcades, etc. and then having a winning team at the end, but I don't know anyone who has actually DONE that. I think that a boys vs. girls night could be fun for all and respectful of our beliefs. But since I know etiquette says that we can't throw our own parties nor are we responsible for the planning of ones that are offered, I don't know how we'd get to do something like that.

rehearsal dinner attire

fyrefairie — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 04:13:42 +0000

What's appropriate as the bride?I found this fab little bandage style asymmetrical dress in black adn purple (my fave colors but not my wedding colors). but the assymetry mirrors my wedding dress? I like it, but its figure hugging and not super short but definately not knee length...can the bride be sexy at the rehearsal?

Who should I invite to the rehearsal dinner?

jkeeney — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:05:00 +0000

Obviously I'll be inviting our parents, our bridesmaids/groomsmen, ushers, pastor and readers, but do I also invite the flowergirls/ring bearers (and their whole families)?

I guess I wasn't thinking of the cost of the dinner when I decided to have SEVEN flowergirls and a ring bearer! I'll definitely need them there for the rehearsal, but would it be rude to just invite the kids and one parent to the dinner portion? Who else am I forgetting to invite?

Thanks!

Stupid shower games?

Speechie1970 — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 02:03:21 +0000

My MOHs (I have two) asked if we should play games at the bridal shower. I have never been a big fan but wonder what others think?

Who is hosting/hosted your Bridal Shower?

SuMmErKuTiE — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 17:06:07 +0000

Just curious, since these days anyone other than the bride can host. Most of the showers I've been to have been hosted by the mother or the FMIL of the bride, where that used to be an etiquette no-no, but isn't anymore.

In-Home Party Consultant

kmstepney — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 01:06:55 +0000

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I look forward to doing business with you.

Bachelorette party present for bride

abarlow12 — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 01:04:32 +0000

I am a bridesmaid for my cousin's wedding and her bachelorette party is coming up soon. What should i get her? We are going bar hopping and I'm sure many of her friends are going to get her racy things, but I'm not comfortable getting her lingerie...any other ideas?

Joint B-party?? Thoughts, suggestions, ideas...

wfdfire607 — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 21:31:55 +0000

My FI and I didn't really want the traditional B-parties. We saw somewhere where there's starting to be joint B-parties, like a Pub crawl or club hopping. We liked that idea and were wondering if anyone has any ideas to make it different and fun. Games, props???

How many is too many?

Hellokatie0517 — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 12:24:10 +0000

Looking for opinions. So how many pre-wedding parties is too many? I'm a BM in a wedding next year. The couple just had their e-party a couple weekends ago. It was a big party with about 80 or so people. MOG is planning to throw the Jack and Jill (the wedding shower -- not the "fundraiser"). The bride's sister (who is also MOH) is disappointed that she is not throwing the shower. I'm a bit disappointed too as I['ve always thought this is traditionally the BMs duty. MOB says we could throw a second shower. It would be a bridal shower with close family and friends. How many gifts am I going to have to give this girl? Am I crazy for thinking an e-party and 2 showers is a bit much? I can understand having more than one shower when you have different groups throwing the shower like an office shower or something. But this second shower would be the same ladies who went to the jack and jill. I've already given the side-eye since the MOB told me at the e-party that not everyone there was necessarily invited to the wedding!

Shower/bachalorette party for destination wedding??

LadyT65 — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 21:15:08 +0000

I am MOH for my only sisters destination wedding in the Caribbean. I am thrilled to be a part of this very special occasion and want to do everything right. Some people have mentioned to me that they think having a a shower and/or bachalorette party would be unreasonable being that the wedding itself is such a costly event to attend. I disagree, feeling that if people don't have the finances to attend than they wont. As it is I live in Vegas, rest of family and his live in NY so I/we are doing the traveling for any parties prior to wedding as well as the wedding trip and p.s. we are NOT wealthy people. Its called sacrifice for the important stuff!! I guess I just don't think sis should be deprived of a shower/ bp because of the location they both chose to have their wedding. Should I ask her what she wants/would prefer?? Am I wrong to think a shower is appropriate??

Games?

lexa10 — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 23:29:49 +0000

Just wondering if any of you have played any good games at lingerie showers/bridal showers. One of my best friends is having her shower soon, and the BM's and I are looking for some cool games that everyone can play.
FWIW: It will be ladies only, and no alcohol.

Bridal Tea

ecolombo — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 21:24:55 +0000

My mom is a widow in her sixties and is getting remarried. I am having a bridal tea for her instead of a shower, and she has requested donations to her favorite charity in lieu of gifts. The party is 3 hours long....aside from eating, what will we do the whole time? Should I have something planned in case it gets boring? She's too old for the typical shower party games.....
any ideas would be appreciated.

Is it rude....

Jason&Jenn — Fri, 28 May 2010 23:47:02 +0000

....to have your guests fill out a self-addressed enevlope at a bridal shower? I have been asked to fill them out at showers, and usually a door prize is pulled from the bunch, but my sister said it's rude. Now I'm not sure. I always thought it was just the norm, and now that I am the bride, I think that it will make my job easier the day after the shower. (my wedding is 2 weeks from tomorrow so I need to get them out after my shower on Sunday.)

HELP!!! Couples shower /Bridesmaid Drama

lilfoot610 — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 15:13:16 +0000

Help!!! So, one of my bridesmaids is wanting to throw the couple shower for FH and me. This is perfectly okay with me, however, she tells me that I have NO say so in any of the planning. She wants to have the shower at her house -- which is about an hour drive for everyone that we would invite. I'm not okay with this...it is a big inconvience for the guest. So, FH asked his sister if the shower could be hosted at her house since she lives just minutes from everyone. My bridesmaid blows up on me and tells me that I have NO right to make any plans or details of the party. Now, I know when you are the host of a party, it is your responsibility to take care of everything....but shouldn't the bride and groom have a little say so in some of the details?

AND -- I've been told by this same bridesmaid that I have NO say so in any of the bachelorette planning and what is planned. She has assumed that we will be going to the beach just bc FH's parents have a place there so it'd be free. Understandable....however, I used to live there and don't care to go back. I feel that I am the bride...it is my wedding...and I have the right for input.

Anybody have any ideas??

R-Dinner and Bridal Shower help

anwilcox — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 19:32:36 +0000

My fiance's parents offered to pay for the RD and the planning is going great. FMIL asked me for a few ideas and they chose the one they liked the best of the options we gave and are happywith it. Here are my issues:

FMIL is not the "wedding" type girl that I am. I am very girlie and that isn't her style. I know that she just wants to pay for the place and handle the menu, alcohol, etc. but I don't know how to offer to handle the invites and centerpieces etc. without sounding like I don't want/think she can do it! I know she can but I also know she has zero interest in doing it.

Second issue:

My family is from 1.5 hrs south of fiance's family and in another state but it might as well be a different country! Due to the same personality things I mentioned above I know my FMIL will not be hosting a bridal shower for her side of the family and I am fine with that. I have assumed since the beginning she wouldn't. However, my family is very hurt by the bypass of this tradition. My mother is inviting her to the shower for our side and I'm sure she will come but I don't know how to make it known that its o.k. with me that she isn't doing this. I don't want anyone to ask her about the shower she is hosting (because it is unheard of for her not to be hosting one) and have her feel embarassed or guilty that she didn't do it. My mother and MOH don't know half or so of the guest list so I can't have them spread the word that it isn't as common where FMIL is from.

p.s. Where I am from the FMIL hosting a bridal shower is seen as the FMIL welcoming the bride into the family. The lack of a shower is a stand taken by FMIL that don't approve of the wedding.

Any advice?

Bridal shower hosting drama hellllllllllllllllllllllp!

danni7murphy — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 13:56:53 +0000

A while back my FMIL told me she wanted to throw a shower i accepted . Yesterday , she told one of my BM to contact the others to ask for $150 each for the shower. Only 3 of my bm live in town the other two will have to travel and are going through life issue's i think its wrong to call and say you know that shower you won't be attending well its going to cost your $150. Also, Since she asked me i assued she was paying for it not planning with the pockets of others.

Help tell me how to handle this and remember i am not supposed to know this my BM just happend to inform me .

HELP! Need shower gift idea.

LKStibb — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 23:35:34 +0000

Hi, Ladies! I need help. My new husband's best friend (best man at our wedding) is getting married and unfortunately, he won't be able to attend the wedding because he's deployed. So I'm going in his stead. I also got invited to the Bridal Shower, but I don't know her. But because she's my husband's best friend's fiance, I decided to go. They are getting married in a bit of a rush so she didn't register for anything so now I have absolutely no idea what to get her for her bridal shower! I don't want to give her just cash so I need suggestions. Help!

Gift for shower host?

barlinkafire — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 15:26:31 +0000

My shower is next weekend. My FI's brother's wife is hosting. She has planned and arranged everything. My MOH and BM aren't doing anything b/c 1. They all travel a lot for work and 2. They are lazy.
I would like to get her some kind of gift as a thank you for hosting, planning and paying for the entire thing. What do you think is appropriate? When should I give it to her? I see her at least once a week- so maybe the day after the shower?
She has been very helpful with everything wedding related (my Mom past away 10 years ago- so I don't have much family to help).
I know she loves coffee- so I was thinking something coffee related?

non-traditional shower help!!

MissChris423 — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 01:38:20 +0000

I'm planning my cousin's bridal shower & my aunt really wants to have a wishing well type thing. The theme is shoes & accessories so the traditional white floral wishing well doesn't really go. I am trying to think of other ideas or find vendors that might provide a wishing well type piece in the shape of a shoe or a hat. Does anyone have suggestions? The shower will take place in the long island area of New York.

thanks so much!

Engagement Party Ideas

NatalieandJohnPalaggi — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 00:24:19 +0000

My fiance' and I are hosting our own engagement party with approximately 80 guests. It will be at a bar, we were able to rent it out privately for our event. I was trying to come up with ideas, and will have small pieces of paper where our guest can offer "advice" to us. It seems like it might me challenging to play any games since we will be at a bar and will have a DJ. Can anyone offer any other ideas of games that we can play or things we can do that are bar friendly?

Thanks!

Shower/Bachelorette Party Combo

goetzr19 — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 03:54:36 +0000

I really want FSIL at my shower/bachlorette party. She works Friday/Saturday/Sunday as a Registered Nurse, and only gets 12 days off a year that are F/S/S, even if she switches with someone. She is already taking 3 days off next year for our wedding.

Would it be weird to have my shower at 3pm-5pm on a Saturday and then bachlorette party afterwards? MOH and I have been chatting about this because she wants to know what times work best for me......