Second Weddings — The Knot Community

I'm so done on having a wedding

jeannigirl — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:05:32 +0000

I am so done with this whole idea of having a wedding the way that I had wanted it to be. By that I don't mean I don't want to get married I just don't want to invite anyone other than my daughter, her man and my grand baby and my sons, and FI's daughter.

So I told my FI forget inviting people has their is no one that is that involved in our lives has a couple.

So what finally brought me to that was my FI called me this morning and asked me if I wanted to leave him? I said no where did you get that idea from. He said he ran into my (so called friend who is also my BM) and she said so did Jeanni leave you yet. He also said their was a couple of other neighbors who have said the same thing. I have never even said anything remotely close to that to my BM and I have never talked to these other neighbors about anything about our relationship. So I know where that came from and that was from my BM. I am so furious that she would even start some bull s*** like that.

So I told my FI that lets just do this thing without anyone but our kids. He said it worked for him. I think that I will go with the idea of doing a destination wedding and a honeymoon. What do you all think?

Intro

Sloane99 — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:52:34 +0000

Hello all, I just got engaged and thought I would check this board out. This will be my second wedding (and first real marriage HA) and his first. We're looking forward to a Vegas wedding this summer.

I'm so upset!

hunnysweet — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:06:38 +0000

Hi again, everyone.I posted a few weeks ago after I got engaged. I thought getting married would be exciting, but it's just turning into a nightmare. My parents are furious, his kids are being jerks - don't they realize we are IN LOVE and that's all that matters? Why can't they all just be happy for us?
My parents are worried I am making a mistake. I think they're just mad because FI has been married twice before and all their church friends will be looking sideways at them. They don't care about my happiness at all, just about how things look to their friends.
I've been crying all week.....

Whats acceptable on waiting?

vballchick87 — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:47:55 +0000

I am 22, yes kinda young, but have been legally divorced for over a year and emotionally for moer like 2. I was married right out of high school. Now, I have been with my boyfriend for a year, but have been friends with him since we were in high school, we are not engaged yet, but talk about it a lot and know that is what we both want. Today is our one year and just thinking about it a bit more than usual. If/when we get engaged what is an expected time limit? I read some other posts saying that the older you are the more easily it is accepted, but that is not my case. My BF has not been married, so wondering what would be expected to wait once we do get engaged and what is the protocol for showers and such since I have already been through it? I feel he deserves everything, but I shouldn't really because I have already done it all. I feel rude asking for more, maybe sooner than what I should... Any opinions?

eloping and reception

luckyinlove35 — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 13:21:51 +0000

Hi
Bear with me, I am new to this and this is my first post.. My fiance' and I are eloping in April and are planning a very casual reception in May.. This is both mine and his 2nd marriage. We are planning a mid afternoon reception on a sunday at our church. My question is what do we wear, we are planning on dressing very casual at our wedding (just the two of us). Do we have to dress up (me in a dress, him in dress pantss or can do we casual wear (me in capris and nice top, him in kaki's)... Our wedding reception color is green and white, do we need to wear those colors? I really want to be comfortable but do the right thing..We are planning on doing just finger food and cake. I really dont want to have a DJ or spend a ton of money on decorations, does anyone have any suggestions for us? Thanks so much!

Second wedding-appropriate veil for sale

dds262 — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 23:52:57 +0000

I normally post on the DIY board - but I AM a second time bride - married December 5, 2009. I wanted to wear a veil - but didn't want to look too "young" so I had a custom veil made that did the trick. I am selling it and my dress among other things.

If you want to see pricing etc - go to my blogsite at:

http://www.weddingbycolor.com/docmartin

This is a very nice place to post and receive feedback.

You can also find my wedding photos here:
http://www.coreycagle.net/DebiJohn/

Yes - second wedding can be formal and magical - mine was just as special as the first time around! (psst - my first husband came to the wedding and you can see him in the slideshow!)

Invitations

Rawr08 — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 21:12:21 +0000

So this will be my second marriage, his first. I was on the way to changing back to my maiden name when Mr. Right put a ring on my finger! I am now putting off changing my name with tax season upon us, then the wedding in September. So my question is can I get away with my maiden name on the invitations? OR am I forced to put my current last name? Is hyphenating it an option? I would really love any ideas, thanks ladies!

Future Stepdaughter Issues

dswams — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:15:25 +0000

I am an older bride (52) with two children, marrying a great guy(64) with five children. All but one of our kids are married and totally supportive of our upcoming marriage. But there's the one...only single daughter of his that has said some unbelievable things. Prior to announcing our engagement she asked her dad not to get remarried until her mother (his ex) had "healed" from their divorce of 18 months and had found a boyfriend for herself. He told her no. Then the latest is that at dinner last week she asked us not to married until 2011, even though she knows site is booked and all arrangements have been made for 2/13/2010 wedding. She also indicated she has another wedding to go to that night and doesn't know if she'll be able to make it. Then had the nerve to ask if we would supply her a cab home that night (if she comes) implying she'll be drinking heavily! She's not a child, she's 30.

We both told her that we would miss her if she wasn't there but of course would be her choice whether to attend. Also that we would not be having a cab there waiting for her.

Her siblings are ticked at her for making up an excuse not to attend. they say she doesn't have another wedding to go to.

Her dad has tended to spoil her in the past since she's the only single daughter but knows she's out of line on what she's saying. She would like to be the one controlling things, he isn't going for it.

i'm sorry, maybe i'm old fashioned but i'm appalled that a stepchild would plan on deliberately getting drunk at our wedding celebration. THis is going to take place in a very elegant country club not a bar.

FYI, her father and i met a year ago and i had nothing to do with the end of his marriage.

Any thoughts?

Great Book

AuntieJo — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:24:06 +0000

I found a great book and wanted to share it with you: It's called "Committed--A skeptic makes peace with marriage". by Elizabeth Gilbert. I'm really enjoying the read (same author as "Eat, Love, Pray"). Anyhow, it's a book about a couple who never wanted to get married again (they both went through ugly divorces) but because of U.S. immigration--they had to. It's her story of how she studies marriage and makes peace with the institution and figures out how to make it work for her. I'm getting some useful history on marriage and as I get set to walk down the aisle for the third time... it's helping me make peace with myself and my decision.

Joanne

Update on MOH situation

WillandTiana — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 15:30:34 +0000

So the girl that I wrote about who was supposed to be my MOH - she now wrote me a long letter begging me to be in the wedding! Who does that???? I'm now scared that if she is even invited to the wedding she will cause drama and have to be escorted out! What to do, what to do?

vintage wedding dress

rmuratschew — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 12:36:53 +0000

does anyone have any suggestions where to go for a vintage t-length or gown lacey dress - this is a second wedding and my wedding is this spring and I would like it to be soft and flowey......need help... or a suggestion for a desss>>>> I have been to many bridal shops and the bride gown is not really for me...I am 56 years old and my daughter and grand daughter are in the wedding party (actually they are the wedding party on the brides side) HELP

Hello all!

NJ Jen — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 01:47:20 +0000

I'm getting married for the second time to the most amazing guy, his second too. Wedding is end of June. We are both Catholics, but this will be just a civil ceremony - for now. We both have children.

And I am more excited than I remember ever being before!

Jeanni

pamila51510 — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:31:59 +0000

I responded to your private message i didn't even know how to look at them till I was playing around the other day.
How are things with the daughter and fi. Whats up??

Names on our invitations: Your thoughts?

txmom21 — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:35:03 +0000

Background: I have not used my first name at all in my adult life (I hate to be called by it for any reason), and FI hates his middle name. When I got divorced, I didn't go back to my maiden name because of my daughter and the fact that I had my married name for almost 17 years at that point, but I don't really want my ex-husband's name on our invitations.

Would it look strange to just have our first names on the invitations? We are hosting, and there will be no mention of families.

Never worn or altered watters wedding dress

raeharmon23 — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:43:45 +0000

I am looking to sell my Watters Brides Wedding Dress...

It was NEVER worn still has all the tags on it. It is a size 0 but it is still big on me and I normally wear a size 2-5 in Jeans..medium shirts..
It was never altered and would be perfect for a summer or destination wedding..It is extremely light weight and airy..VERY VERY comfortable..

If the dress interests you..you can always go to a House of Brides (where I purchased the dress) try it on...

Here is a link to check it out..http://watters.com/dress_popup.php?showid=720&id=1

Not sure what to do

jeaniegreer — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 14:23:58 +0000

I am getting married for the third and final time. We are going away just the two of us and getting married. We want to have a reception of some sort when we get back.

This is what i am not sure what to do, being both of ours third wedding. How long after getting back do we do this? What do you do for the reception, decorations/theme, do you do anything for wedding things or just a party?

Trying to find the right "Board"

pindert — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 17:07:45 +0000

I've never been married before, but I'm 50 yrs old, so I was hoping to find a board with other older brides. This one seems the most likely, but again, it's my first marriage, so ... is anyone aware of a board (either on TheKnot or another site) where I can share concerns and get ideas from other first-time brides who are older? Thanks very much. Terri

bummer.... (vent)

ARMYmarriedNAVY — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:26:07 +0000

Hey y'all, I haven't been on here in a while.

DH and I are renewing our vows for our 5th anniversary. We are a military couple who had to skip the big tahdo because of mission requirements. 5 years and 3 babies later we are throing the big party.

My MIL just wrote me yesturday to say my FIL will not be attending. Said he thinks its a big waste of money and wants to stay home. She is however going to be here and is very excited.

Argh!!!
1.) our money - no one else is spending a dime (not including their travel money)
2.) if we'd done this 5 years ago NO ONE would have complained about a "wedding"
3.) He wants ME to tell DH that he isn'tcoming. NOT gonna happen. You aren't coming YOU tell your son.
4.) vent over. LOL.

Happy planning ladies -- oh just wanted to add - I love that THIS board can allow VR brides to talk about things like this. I stear clear of the 1st timer brides whew... the claws come out!

surprise

[Deleted User] — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:04:02 +0000

Hello all-
Well here is my issue- This is my second wedding. I have no children and was previously married for one year almost 10yrs ago. I had a big hotel reception and got married in a Catholic church.I just recently got engaged, and certainly is the love of my life. So my surprise is that i just found out that my fiance's parents and family, do not know that i was married before.I have several issues with this,obviously. I feel that mt fiance should of addressed this a long time ago, he claims that he just doesnt feel as if it matters, and it's something he doesnt care about.He believes its no ones business.I feel overwhelmed with anxiety, and feel uncomfortable even talking about our wedding plans. I almost feel as if I being dishonest.

Site Errors

padookie42 — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 14:17:47 +0000

I have a mac and I keep getting website errors here. Especially on the message boards. I don't think this site is compatable with mac users. Anyone have experience with a mac and know how to fix this? There are not many message boards for weddings out there, suprisingly.

Thanks

Disapproving family

korinacooper — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 19:10:06 +0000

Hello,

I'm just wondering if anyone else is having a problem with their family thinking they should wait or not get married. We have both been married before and have no kids. We were engaged only 10 months after my divorce and we plan to be married in about 6-9 months. I met my fiance in high school and we lost touch and reconnected right after my divorce. I was just looking up old high school friends because I was feeling kind of down, I wasn't looking to fall in love, but it happened. I always kind of thought he was the one for me back then and now 12 years later we just happen to be perfect for each other. I coun't be more sure I have the right one this time and I don't want to wait years to marry him and start a family. His family could not be more supportive and they are so happy for us. My family however is not so excited. I don't have a single person in my family that has not been divorced at least twice , so I don't really trust their advice at all. I just don't know if they should be invited to our ceremony if they are going to be so negative. We aren't having a big wedding of any sort, just a small ceremony (25 people max) and dinner at a nice restaurant, or maybe a back yard bbq type thing. I just don't want any type of negativity there for our wedding, but I don't want my family to be offended if we invite about 10 of his family members and only one or two of mine (leaving out my parents/stepparents, and all but one of my siblings). Anyone have a similar situation? If so how did you resolve it? Any advice would be appreciated!

because

Djdani23 — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:41:32 +0000

I love how people read between the lines, how they assume things... so funny! Oh lil' bitch you are funny!

Assume, what does that do again???

Hi, everyone!

hunnysweet — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 22:59:22 +0000

I'm newly engaged to a great guy! This will be his third wedding but my first. I think I'm going to need lots of advice when it comes to dealing with his children (his daughter, especially). Figured I would say hi to all y'all! As soon as I can figure things out, I'll put in some pics and stuff!

New Here

padookie42 — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 23:47:41 +0000

Hello! I am new here. My name is Erin. My fiance and I got engaged Christmas of 2008. We were planning on a wedding April 17, 2010. This is my second marriage and his first. I haven't done any real planning yet. We recently have been throwing around the idea of eloping or just watching the forcast and planning a wedding in as little as 1-2 weeks. I know how crazy that sounds, but I had the big wedding the first time around and know how stressful it can be. We are not really looking to have a big huge reception or anything and maybe even have a reception at a later date.

Anyway, this is just a quick bio. Nice to meet you all. :)

Erin

Wedding Party Question plus bridal shower question

WillandTiana — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:45:29 +0000

Ok here's the situation - I originally had asked my BF to be my MOH. She ended up going psycho/crazy and said incredibly rude things to me and my FI. I decided she is not going to be involved in the wedding. Now I have no MOH. I have asked 2 of my friends to be BM's but my FI is having a Best Man. He is asking 3 people to stand (1 is the best man). I only have 2 BM's. I am not particularly close to anyone else to ask them to be an MOH and not sure if I should ask one of the BM's to substitute as an MOH. Also I will still be a BM short if I do substitute. Any suggestions/help on what to do?

Part 2 of this question -

Since now I no longer have an MOH, who is going to throw a bridal shower? Since as far as I know the MOH is usually the one to do.that (There are also other things an MOH is supposed to do for a wedding and I don't know who is going to fill this role). Is it even customary to have a bridal shower for a 2nd wedding? I don't know the proper etiquette? It is still my FI's first marriage and think we should since he hasn't been married before.

Question for all of you

LaLaPatches — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:39:31 +0000

Hi ladies, you may remember me. I've lingered in and out of this board for a few months now. I haven't been on here much lately due to a hectic life and schedule, but things seemed to be slowing down for me now, and hopefully I'll be able to go back to my wedding obsession. With that said, I wanted to ask some of you a question.

I love reading all of the wedding blogs ie: Rocknrollbride, offbeatbride, ruffledblog, and I've discovered something. Not many of these feature wedding from brides or grooms that planned a second or third wedding. I know I would appreciate reading and seeing pictures of these. So I wondered if any of you would be interested in being featured on such a blog if I were to start one? I would show pictures and a short article about the wedding. And for those of you have already had your weddings, I would be really interested in possibly featuring you first.

Thanks!

Hello again!

ILuvMrP — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:07:56 +0000

I just wanted to say hi to all those who know me from not so long ago and hello to everyone I dont know here! I am back on the knot and thought I would come hang out in my old stomping ground!
Married life is great. We have been married 7 months and this saturday will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary together. Looong time!
My cousin loved my wedding so much she asked me to help plan hers! Which is why I am back :) There is nothing I love more than wedding planning!
I hope everyone is doing well!

Ahhh...its good to be back!

Karen

Guess what we got for New Years!!!!

pamila51510 — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:27:10 +0000

We found out that my fiance is very possibly the father of a 20 year old boy! Thank you facebook for all the joy you bring. A woman he slept with 20 years ago got in touch with him through facebook and said I want nothing from you but I am in AA and have to make my ammends. I had your child but my husband and i raised him as our own now that he and i are divorced and I am working my steps I feel that I must tell you this.

I am not mad I just have to say I just keep shaking my head. Oh joy we have all made mistakes when we were younger but really 20 years later geesh!

Hope you all are having a wonderful start to your new year!!!

Tableside ceremony/reception

KCStarner2Be — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 05:49:47 +0000

Has anybody done this before....where your ceremony & reception are in the same room? If so did you make a seating chart for it or just let guests sit where they chose? How did you handle the food for the reception? Any tips would be great! :)
TIA

Registry???

breeen1224 — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:15:00 +0000

Hi all,I just found this board and am very excited. I have been lurking on the other boards and there are alot of 23 year old first time brides!! This is more up my alley.. By the way, November 7, 2009 bride here!!Anyways, my Fi and I have lived together for 3.5 years and have everything we could possibly need for our home. I have had multiple people asking where we are registered. There is really nothing that we need since we blended two households when we moved in together. Are any of you doing a registry? If so, what are you asking for? I don't want to sound tacky but gift cards or cashwould suffice...Thanks!!