Our office is in an obscure part of an office park, isn’t close to any restaurants, and has no cafeteria. Unless you bring your lunch, you are left with one crappy vending machine. I came up with an office “pantry.” Essentially, a basket of fruits, granola bars, and other non-perishables with a money jar to repay it. Everyone will drop some money in or take a turn bringing food in. We worked on the honor system. It worked for about nine months, until we got the new hires—then the basket would be cleared out in a day. Everyone was upset and no one admitted to it until our supervisor checked the cameras. The two new hires, “Jane and Joan,” would come in mid-shift and clean out the basket into their huge purses. When confronted, they got selfish and claimed it was “free” and they had kids at home. So yeah, they feel they can lie, steal, and screw over their coworkers because they have kids.

Since the food pantry wasn’t official, there is nothing to be done. It went away. My resentment isn’t. I have a hard time interacting with Joan and Jane, especially if they need help or want to “borrow” my office supplies. I find myself counting when they don’t return my pens or thinking they should have taken notes during training rather than bothering me. How do I move forward now? I have been locking the big boxes of energy bars in my desk in case someone misses packing their lunch (or I do). If Jane or Joan comes up asking for one, I might snap at them.

—No System for Honor

I have a very low-stakes issue here! My partner and I are both working from home and have had some friction around our morning routines lately. We’re in bed about the same amount each day. He stays up a bit later than me and also naturally wakes up earlier—having a long nap each afternoon. I don’t nap, but instead sleep from about 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. This works out fine as far as we go, we’re not precious about going to sleep or waking up together. It is an issue with our cats though!

Our cats are perfectly happy to stay in bed as long as we do, but as soon as one of us is up, they start the nonstop crying for breakfast. It only takes a few minutes, but those minutes of two cats running around in circles screaming their heads off is a jarring start to the day. This is almost always my partner by default, but I’m finding myself coming downstairs more and more often to him being grumpy and acting passive aggressive about having to be the one to make coffee, feel the cats’ rage, and give one their medication.

It’s not that I’m lazing in bed and ignoring the cats, that’s all usually done before my alarm goes off. I don’t really see any way around the first person up being subject to the overwhelming cat cacophony. I’m sorry that it’s almost always him, but it just seems like the way the cards have been dealt! Sometimes he’s up naturally as early as 5 a.m., which I’m just not going to match. I try to make up for this by being the one to stock the food and meds, as well as do their nighttime feedings (which they’re much calmer about). We can’t really do an automatic feeder due to a combo of wet food, meds, and a sneaky dog. What do you think? Should he just deal with cats and stop giving me side-eye and snippy remarks about it? Should I try to get up earlier than him a few days a week?

—Sleeping Through a Cat-astrophe

So details first, we are in a poly relationship: My partner, B, and his girlfriend, P. I am unilaterally deaf (deaf in one ear), and have a cochlear implant (CI), and my hearing aid requires the use of a drying unit in the daily care and maintenance of the processor, as well as a charger for the batteries. We are currently remodeling the house to make more room for all of us and our pets (three cats and a little dog). Everything is just about done, and B just finished building a large desk for his gaming PC. My desk has wound up being a catch all and was where I had my CI stuff. I asked B if I could move my CI stuff to his desk for now since he has so much room (half of the desk is unused) until everything could be cleared up, and then I could put it in my room, since there isn’t a safe enough spot for it otherwise. He said yes.

Well, I came home tonight and someone had unplugged it and put it on the kitchen table. I don’t know which of them did it. And I don’t deal with confrontation, in fact I avoid it. But this has made me feel hurt: Something so important that I need daily was just moved like it was in the way, like it’s not important. Like I’m not important. How do I bring this up without upsetting anyone and without them feeling like I’m accusing anyone? And how do I get them to respect my CI stuff?

—Displaced Cyborg

A couple of months ago, my friend “Sonia” lost her friend “Maxine,” who passed away from an aggressive illness. Sonia was understandably upset and has been supported in her grief by family and friends, including me. I didn’t really know Maxine, so I have done my best to be the outer circle in the “grief out/support in” model. However, Sonia does not seem to be moving through her grief at all, and I’m struggling to remain empathetic. Sonia is still taking long stretches of time off work, crying non-stop, posting about how hard it is just to make it through each day, etc. I realize grief is very personal and there’s no “right” duration or intensity, but deep down I guess I feel like it’s over the top. I get that Sonia feels how she feels, but even Maxine’s own spouse isn’t behaving like this!

Every time I interact with Sonia, the focus is on her own feelings.  Conversations about other things inevitably come back to how she’s upset and struggling and nobody understands. When I gently suggested that maybe Sonia should see a counselor in case there was something bigger at play, she reacted really badly. Today, a close family member told Sonia she “needs to move on.” Sonia immediately reached out to tell me about it, saying she couldn’t believe anyone would say something so heartless and cruel. I found it hard to know how to respond because the truth is that I agree—she DOES need to move on. I don’t want to be unsupportive when a friend is clearly in a lot of pain, but I’m starting to dread having to see or talk to Sonia. What should I do?

—All Griefed Out

Recently, I moved across the country after retiring from a demanding but great job. In the new location, I have family and dear friends, a couple I’ve known for almost 40 years. I feel supported and welcomed, but things also feel ambivalent. The husband offers advice, but he often dismisses my feelings and experiences. I am learning how to respond. His wife has been one of my most supportive friends, but since I’ve moved here, I am unsure how she feels about it. I don’t expect her to drop everything just because I am in the same city. I am highly sensitive given a recent short friendship I broke off in my previous city with a toxic and needy person. I bend over backward to be self-sufficient and respectful of my friends’ time, but I am unsure of where I fit in now that I live in the same city.

I’ve been seeing a man who is nearly perfect for the past few months. The problem is I don’t find him attractive. At the same time, I’ve dated many jerks and realize he is a diamond. Aside from being intelligent and kind, he is also well-off, and I am an artist who is part-time employed at best. I’m 39, and a husband like him would allow me to pursue my artistic career and have children too, which I want. I feel affection for him but not romantic love—to be perfectly honest, if he hadn’t pursued me for a date with such zeal, I would have not given him the time of day. I’ve kept things casual but he wants to get more serious, even get married. I know my grandmother married for convenience, not love, and had a successful marriage that lasted 50 years. I’ve been seriously considering marrying this man, but when I told my best friend that I don’t really love him, she became very upset and essentially called me a gold digger.

I’m torn. On the one hand, I think we could be good companions and he would give me many of the things I crave, including stability and a family. But my friend says I would be preventing him from finding true love. I’ve been passionately in love before and I don’t know if that kind of love should be more important than long-term friendship and support. I also fear this opportunity won’t come up again. But I also don’t want to hurt him. Should I flat out refuse him if he brings up marriage again? Should I be practical and marry him?

—Love or Money

My husband and I have a great marriage, and overall he’s a very kind and lovely man—except for in the car! First of all, he insists on doing 100 percent of the driving when we’re together due to a combination of car sickness and some of the issues I’m about to get into. When we go on long highway drives he does great, but the in-town running around is super tense and can really ruin our day, or cast a sour mood on whatever event we’re headed to.

It’s not quite road rage, he doesn’t scream or flip off other drivers, it’s more like road tension. He has zero tolerance for people driving poorly, navigating tight parking lots, and just generally navigating the city. He tenses up, slams the music off, starts accelerating and stopping more aggressively, and becomes negative and grumpy for the rest of the drive. I don’t love the tone he takes with me in these moments, but he’s mostly just quiet and incapable of either pleasant conversation or logistical discussion. (“Do you think we should get drinks after the show?” “IDFK I can’t think about that right now!”) If we have to circle the block even once to find parking on the way out to dinner, I almost want to say forget it let’s go home. Another consequence of this behavior is that I end up trying to run all the errands myself because he’s a drag to bring along, and if he’s by himself, he gets fed up and comes home early or half-asses the errands.

We share one car (and can’t afford a second one) and live in a small city with terrible public transport. So we’re going to be stuck driving together to date nights, events, and the grocery store, and I need to have a sit-down chat with him outside of the car about his attitude. What do you think is fair of me to ask of him? I really struggle when it seems like the only recourse I have is to ask someone to just “act differently.” Again, he’s kind and reasonable outside of the car, but something about being behind the wheel really aggravates him.

—Side Eye from the Passenger

My fiancé has always been close to his sister, “Becky.” They text each other daily and frequently talk on the phone. They’re twins, and I thought I understood their bond. However, we went to his family’s house for Thanksgiving, and I met Becky for the first time—she’s been working abroad for the past two years and only moved back to the U.S. last month—and to be honest, I was a little freaked out about their closeness. Becky and my fiancé finish each other’s sentences, giggle at their private jokes, and are often physically affectionate. Hugging, kissing on the cheek, holding hands. At one point, Becky even sat on my fiancé’s lap and pretended he was “Santa.” Apparently, it’s an old joke of theirs. I have two brothers, but I’ve never behaved like that with them.

On the drive back from his family’s house, I told my boyfriend that I found the way he interacts with Becky “icky.” He blew up and accused me of having a dirty mind. I apologized, feeling that I overreacted. However, now that we’re back home, I keep thinking about Becky and I do think it’s icky. Should I talk to my fiancé about the ick factor again? I don’t know if I can stand to see Becky sitting on my fiancé’s lap giggling and baby talking at future family functions. It’s too disturbing. I’ve even thought about proposing a tropical vacation instead of the next visit so we can be away from his family. This is the perfect man if he didn’t have that weird dynamic with his sister!

—Too Close for Comfort

So, say you were in the middle of a long dry spell. You’ve dated, but none of the men really interested you. Then, there is this guy that is several years older than you who is unattached. At work, neither of you report to the other, but you see each other, and are members of the same non-work groups—book club, gym, game-night groups, that kinda thing. He’s almost your dad’s age, you’re a few years older than his oldest kid. He’s been divorced for a few years, you’ve never really been attached or engaged. If he asked you out, would you freak out? Would you end the friendship? You’ve been out together many times for drinks or dinner, both alone and with friends, he’s very current culturally, and very passionate about things that you care about. I’m the guy in this scenario, you’re the younger woman. The woman in question is 43, I’m 69.

–(Not) a Cradle Robber

My mom is exhausting for several reasons but one of the more intractable ones is her weight struggles. She is 75. She has spent most of my life on one diet, falling off the diet, and/or hopping on another diet. She talks about how much she weighs and how much she has to lose. She criticized my weight on and off throughout my life and watching her struggle with depriving herself has really affected my own issues with eating. After becoming my heaviest and being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes during the height of the pandemic (I work as a nurse), I was finally able to lose a bunch of weight. I’m still far from my skinniest but I’ve accepted that I’m likely never going to get back there again. Still, I’m happy where I am.

The problem is that I wanted to share how much I lost with my mom and celebrate a little. But I know that telling her will lead not to her expressing how happy she is for me but a whole “woe-is-me” about how much she still has to lose and how she seems unable to. When the semiglutide craze started, and when it was in very short supply, my mom was talking about trying to get her hands on some! My mom is in great health considering her age. Yet there are always 50 pounds to lose! How can I celebrate my own winning over weight without continuing to fall into the cycle of it turning back into the last amount of weight she needs to lose to be happy with her weight? I’ve long given up telling her that she looks fine and really doesn’t need to lose it.

—Weight Struggles

My boyfriend has constantly been reaching out to other girls the entirety of our relationship—I found this out because we used to have passwords to each other’s phones. The first time I caught him, I decided the interactions weren’t that worrisome. But recently he changed passwords. Even so, I found out he has been talking to an ex, telling her she’s beautiful and how he used to want to marry her. He also plans to meet her when they’re in the same city. I am so nervous about all of this, but he just blames me for having “invaded his privacy” on his phone. Is he right? What should I do?

—Anxious and Afraid

I have realized in recent years that a lot of my family has chosen fun things at the expense of my and others’ comfort. My mom will sometimes talk me into volunteering under the guise of “that’s what you do for people you care about,” only to back out at the last minute to do something more fun, leaving the task to be harder for me than it would have been. My sister is constantly flitting from place to place and expects us to take care of things she couldn’t because she’s gone. This last time, she left her dog with my mother. My mom expects me to help out with the very anxious dog and decided to leave me with him to go on a vacation. I had tentative plans for that weekend too, and when I mentioned that to my mother, all she said was “this is what you do for the family.”

The situation is complicated by the fact that I live with my mom; but I’m working on moving out, so I’m not looking for advice on that relationship. Once I leave, I can more easily set the boundaries I’ve wanted for years. My issue is that I think I’ve internalized the “fun above all else” tendency too. I have missed things that were somewhat important to friends because I decided I wanted to do something more fun (one was a friend’s wedding). I often put off confirming plans unless it’s something super fun. I try not to miss things that are important anymore, but if something more fun comes up, I will probably leave early. Some of my friends have made comments in passing about this, but I just don’t always like doing the things my friends like. My very close friends are much more introverted than me. I like going out on the weekends. If one of my close friends was ever truly in trouble, I’m always there, but I’m now starting to feel bad that I’m also not socially there for some of my friends. At the same time, you only live once, and I don’t want to regret going out while I still can. Can you give me some kind of perspective on the issue?

—Not Such a Good Friend

I have a hard time with my mother. I’m a middle (whoops) baby. She told me on my 47th birthday, “you are lucky you were a good baby or you wouldn’t be here.” She was a foster child. I feel like I don’t want to be around her. When she does a family dinner she forgets to invite me. Is it bad that I just avoid her? I feel better for it.

—Hurt

We live on an acre with mature pecan trees. The nuts rain down like crazy and we go out to collect them and put them in bags to give away. We never had a problem until our new neighbors showed up. We have several nut rollers and leave them outside and a sign that people are welcome to drop in and ask to use them to harvest their own. We don’t have fences but we do have cameras. We caught our new neighbor (who didn’t even introduce themselves) taking the rollers to get several bags of pecans and walking off with the rollers as well.

When we went over to confront our neighbor, they denied ever going over, and when we showed them the video on our phone, they slammed the door in our faces. We decided it wasn’t worth a feud but we did stop the pecan-picking policy. We put up no trespassing signs and publicly said we weren’t allowing it anymore. Many people are upset since it was a free, fun activity they could do with their kids and are asking why. My wife doesn’t want to tell on our new neighbor. I just want to say someone stole from us and we are not rewarding it. The nut rollers aren’t very expensive but it is the principle of the thing. So what should we do?

—In a Nutshell

My wife and I are in our late 40s. Our two children are in middle school. My mom is elderly and divorced, and her health is declining. I think it would be best for her to move in with our family. That will be a much easier sell with my mother than hiring a stranger to help her or moving into an assisted living facility, and both those options are very expensive.

When I brought the topic up with my wife, she said absolutely not. I was surprised, because my mom and wife have always gotten along great. She told me she loves my mom but she’s not up for it. How can I convince my wife that I should take on my fair share of the caregiving for my mother?

–I’ll Do My Part

I (38F) grew up the only girl of five siblings. During those years, I found it did me little good to become grossed out at every little thing the boys did, and now, I’m able to tolerate a wide range of behavior and conditions. But I’m concerned that this dubious skillset has clouded my judgment about an issue I’m having with my partner, “Luke,” who is, of course, ideal in every way except one.

Luke is a great guy who prides himself on excellent hygiene and impeccable manners. Unlike me, he’s also unduly embarrassed by random bodily functions. Any such emissions from him pass unremarked upon by either of us in order to spare him embarrassment (although I’ve assured him over and over that it’s totally normal). Recently, I quit smoking, and my sense of smell has dramatically improved. Thanks to this, I have just discovered that apparently, Luke pays dearly for withstanding such pressure during the day—and now I’m paying for it, too. When Luke is asleep and relaxed, the expressions of his digestive system could peel paint.

When I smoked, I had no idea this was going on. But now, I can’t be in half of our house when Luke has, um, issues to work through in his sleep. It’s as if my sinuses are being power-washed with a mixture of rotten eggs and skunk spray. Luke would be mortified to know this. I don’t want to embarrass him, but frankly, I just want this insidious stench sent back to Hell, where it came from. I’m open to anything from having him take Beano to using charcoal filtering sheets, or perhaps I could hire a stunt double for bedtime? Is it fair for me to ask this of him? After all, it’s a normal human function. Am I being selfish? Should I just buy the Beano and tell him fairly that everyone could use it? What is the kindest thing to do here?’

—Sleepless in SoCal

Last month, I shrunk a pair of socks in the wash and they came out so hilariously small that I actually laughed out loud. I posted them on social media compared my and my husband’s normal size socks along with the caption “Wow, what a change! I’m in tears lmao!” My family thought this was a pregnancy announcement. When I checked the group chat, I had to dash everyone’s hopes and also reach out to my sister who is very sensitive about baby stuff because of her recent miscarriage.

But then I found out I actually am pregnant. I have infrequent periods, so it wasn’t until I started to get symptoms that I realized what was happening, took a test, and went in for an ultrasound. I’m over three months pregnant and starting to show. My husband and I are both excited and nervous, and can’t wait to welcome this little one into our lives. We’re going to be seeing family soon. How do I handle this? I was actually pregnant at the time I posted that, so it will seem like I was doing this for attention. In my and my family’s defense, I’ve always been a bit of a ham. This is something I would have done in the past but I mellowed out after I turned 25 (I’m now over 30). How do I navigate this, especially with my sister?

—Oh Baby

My mother occasionally exhibits, for lack of a better term, “Karen”-like behavior that can be embarrassing, and I’m looking for a way to get through to her that it’s not OK, or even sometimes there are better ways to achieve what she is trying to get. I will say, her actions don’t come from a place of maliciousness, or needing to feel superior/be right—rather, my parents don’t have a lot of money, and are very insecure over money, so to them, every single dollar matters. But it still does not come across well.

The latest example comes from my mom taking a friend and me out for lunch for my birthday, which was very nice of her! But we ordered a dessert, which was a brownie with ice cream. When it came, the scoop of ice cream was very tiny. My mom was incensed that they charged $10 for the dessert with such a small portion, and stated that she was “going to say something.”

I told her she better not, and fortunately, she didn’t. I was so embarrassed she said this in front of my friend, and also that my mother thought that the appropriate way to handle the situation was to complain to the poor server.

I later explained to her that it’s not like our orders came out incorrectly, or cooked poorly, etc., and that if she really felt like she had to say something, the better way to do it would be to send an email to the restaurant. She said but then I’ve already paid. I again tried to explain to her that being unhappy with the portion size was not a legitimate reason to complain in the moment and try to get money off the bill, but wasn’t getting through to her. I hate to resort to, Mom, if you really don’t understand what I’m trying to tell you, I’m not going out to eat with you anymore, but I don’t know how else to get through to her.

–Not Again, Mom

I was engaged at 22 to “Patrick.” We never married because before the wedding, my sister “Cindy” revealed that she’d slept with Patrick and was pregnant with his child. He denied it, but I called off the wedding anyway. However, Cindy never gave birth and was apparently never pregnant. This made me doubt her story. Cindy had always been a very difficult person prone to outbursts and problematic behavior. For example, she once vandalized an ex-boyfriend’s car, and was caught stealing at her job.

Later on, Patrick and I started talking again. He assured me Cindy was a liar and knowing some of her problematic behavior, I ended up believing Patrick, befriending him again, and my relationship with Cindy became so strained we cut off contact. Patrick and I never became a couple again, but we did remain friends.

A few months ago, Patrick passed away. I attended his funeral and afterwards got to talking with his estranged daughter, “Denise.”

I was shocked when Denise told me Patrick’s marriage had ended years before because he made a pass at his sister-in-law. Apparently, Patrick cheated for many years but that was the last straw. It’s also why Denise was estranged. Patrick never told me any of this. Looking back, I realize that my good friend was a liar and a cheat. I now believe Cindy was telling me the truth years before when she said Patrick slept with her. I basically ruined my relationship with my sister over this man, and I don’t know how to repair it. I want to apologize to her and tell her I was wrong, but I’m afraid too many years have passed and I’ve hurt her too deeply.

—I Believed a Liar

My 12-year-old stepson is scaring me. He has violent outbursts over minor instances like losing a video game or being asked to clean his room. He has already wrecked his TV and Switch and left a dent in the wall when it wasn’t magically replaced. His mother can’t handle him anymore so he is with us 24/7. I am pregnant and a stay at home mom to a 3-year-old meaning, I am often left alone with my stepson while my husband is at work. I feel like I am walking on eggshells and waiting for his next outburst. Counseling isn’t helping, and last week he screamed in my face while I was holding my toddler because asked him to clean off his muddy shoes before coming in. My husband feels helpless. He says we can’t send his son away but the professional help we are getting isn’t enough. He is getting into fights at school and I am worried what is going to happen when he is expelled and home with me all day. I am honestly thinking of packing up and moving out of state to my mother’s until my husband has this handled but I know it will be the end of my marriage. Help please.

—Afraid

I am a single mom struggling to make ends meet. I have two teenage sons who are basically hollow legs. When I go grocery shopping, I always stop to say hi to “Mary.” Mary does the markdowns and will usually point out the great deals or specials for me. Getting a bunch of frozen pizzas for less than a third of the price puts me back in the black. I made the mistake of mentioning Mary to my mother. My mother works full-time and is the primary caregiver for my grandmother. She has little time for herself.

Well, my mother tracked down Mary and Mary helped her find several expensive foods that my grandmother could actually eat that had been reduced in price. She advised my mother about keeping track of when the items get reduced and when the best time is to shop. My mother tried to treat Mary like her own personal shopper. She would call up the store asking for Mary and try to get her to set aside the deals (which is against store policy). Mary was sympathetic and did it a few times—only my mother refused to show up when she said she would. It would be hours after Mary’s shift ended and the food was put back on the floor. So my mother decided to complain to the store manager and got Mary written up!

I didn’t find any of this out until I went grocery shopping again and spoke with Mary. She bitterly explained what happened and I realized it was my mother. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole, I was so embarrassed. When I confronted my mother, she didn’t think she did anything wrong. Her time is apparently more valuable than a retail worker and Mary had offered to help. My outlook on my mother is completely different now. I am just aghast that she thinks this way. I want to make it up to Mary somehow but every gesture feels hollow. What should I do, if anything?

—No Good Deed

My wife and I have two very good friends who are going through a separation and potentially a divorce. We are very close to both of them. I’ve talked to both separately, and can see both sides of the issues, and where the perceived and actual faults are. We may be the only friends of the couple that are talking to both. I don’t want to take sides though, and want to figure out how we can be the best possible friend to both—even when they may have been infidelity. I’m not sure how to navigate this.

—Not Sure How to Deal

My mother dragged me through her multiple relationships since my father died when I was a child. Including uprooting me twice to move to a different state because her boyfriend was there. It left me with a lot of insecurity about intimacy and trust. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now I’m an adult, and my mother is engaged. Again. But this time the man seems decent.

My problem is that my mother is demanding that I use my limited vacation to spend a week at his family compound this summer. Apparently, all his children, siblings, their children, and all the grandchildren go every summer and enjoy the great outdoors. I am not outdoorsy at all. And I really don’t want to send my limited vacation and funds to attend a stranger’s family reunion. They might be lovely people, but frankly I don’t care. This is the same pattern my mother has indulged since my father died and I am tired.

Any time I bring up my feelings, my mother accuses me of being negative and pessimistic. She says I just don’t want her to be happy. I am happy that my mother is happy. I am not happy about the demands to get on a plane, rent a car, and drive hours to the middle of nowhere to socialize with strangers while bugs eat me alive. How do I talk to her about her expectations here? Or should I just lie and claim to have to work?

—No to the Family Reunion

For reasons I’ve never quite understood, my husband and my father seem to hate being around each other. They’re both incredibly polite, they engage in formulaic small talk, but the interactions are awkward, stilted, and uncomfortable. Individually, they’re the life of any party. Together, they suck all the oxygen out of the room. My parents are getting really old, so we’re spending more time with them and neither of them are happy about that. How do I navigate this? Ask my husband to stay away? Ask them to go to therapy together? Sit them down and tell them I expect more from them? They seem to be doing their best to get along but are both clearly gritting their teeth while doing so.

–Oil and Water

My mother always encouraged me to follow my interests and not get trapped in what society thinks a woman needs to be (make up, heels, etc). She was my biggest cheerleader when I was getting my master’s degree, but now that I am married, the only topic on hand is when am I giving her grandbabies! My husband and I are leaning towards a “no” on the subject between the goals we want to achieve and our own difficulties, but the persistence of my mother is driving me straight to “no way in hell.”

She will not drop the subject to matter how much I ask, ignore, or redirect. Conversations with her leave me exhausted and feeling hunted. She goes between the most blanket lies like “she will raise the baby for us” to the most ridiculous like “having a baby is a solid retirement plan!” I had to go on several walks during Thanksgiving because I was so fed up with the subject, and I didn’t want to cause a fight. My mother is someone I used to talk to every other day, and now I just duck her calls because I know what the subject will be. It is like she doesn’t love me anymore—not my virtues, not my vices; I’m just a vessel for grandchildren. What do I do here?

—Good Enough