Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions — The Knot Community

Officiant in California

Doon1617 — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 21:07:46 +0000

How much are officiants and can anyone recommend one in Southern California?

Sitting or Standing

tbccolorado — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 15:35:35 +0000

Would it be rude to make my guests stand during my ceremony? My wedding will held outside and will be no longer than 20 minutes. My fiance and I really don't like the fact that we have to pay an arm and a leg for guests to sit for no more than 30 minutes and wondering if it would be rude to have our guests stand.

Thanks

Rocks with guest book?

Pookieson — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 17:52:27 +0000

I know I read one of you ladies did this! Where did you get the rocks and did you use a sharpie or paint pen?

Thank you so much!

How to spruce up ceremony space?

LincolnElizabethH — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:45:03 +0000

I am having my ceremony and reception in the same place (they switch the room around while we do a receiving line in the foyer). As you can see from the picture below, it's pretty bland. I will be having ivory chair covers. I will not be using the fake trees, but will be having two large floral arrangements, but I feel it's not enough. I've asked and I'm not allowed to use flower petals on the floor. Any suggestions on how to make the space a little nicer?

Programs

Elizabeth Burgin — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 04:19:27 +0000

So i am working on making my programs for my wedding in less then 2 months (May 11,2013) does anyone have good advice on how to word them?

Also My parents are still married and I have them and Mr and Mrs. how do i put my Fiance mother and father they are divorced and he remarried and his mother never did... Do i just put Ms. *her name* and Mr. *his Name*?

Just kinda lost on that part... also what needs to go in a program?

THank you!!

Im sorry i have to do this

JBTRCR — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 21:03:19 +0000

There is no way to delete my count so I must do this becuase i can't handle having it anymore. my fiance cheated on me. so im going to get myself block..... go to hell you stupid ass hole i hate you you fuckin lier

Albany NY Ceremony Site

geebes83 — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 00:20:56 +0000

Hi everyone...I am really trying to find a ceremony site for my October wedding. We have our reception site reserved and ready to go but need to account for inclement weather. I would love a chapel or non denominational church but seem to be coming up short. Any suggestions that would work for the Schenectady, Troy, Albany area?!?

Eloping then Planning on Ceremony/Reception for a Vow Renewal

HeatherSalomone — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 03:41:10 +0000

Hello :)

My fiance and I have been talking lately about eloping. We have been together for six years and are still in college, thus leading a financial strapping life. We are very much so in love and do not want to wait until we can afford "the wedding" we dream of to begin our lives as one. So we have decided that eloping is the best thing for us, especially because exchanging our vows privately is very appealing to us due to us being very private peple. So we plan on renewing our vows later on and having the cereomny and reception as if it were our wedding BUT IT CLEARLY being a vow renewal. We have never lived together, we are celibate, and we are perfect together. So my question is... is this appropriate? We cannot afford (neither can our families afford a wedding) until we are out of college graduate programs, but we will be able to live together and lead a strong marriage.

Ideas other than writing own vows?

bopple321 — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 21:28:42 +0000

Hello! My fiance and I are trying to decide what things to incorporate in our ceremony and I'd appreciate some ideas! I have mixed feelings about writing my own vows. For one, I've been to weddings where couples write their own vows and sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a sea of inside-jokes or waaay too much personal information (I could share funny stories!) On the other hand, I would really love to share the feelings I have for my fiance. I know my fiance would not want to read his own vows in public. He's very quiet and doesn't often speak in front of groups of people and I don't want to make him uncomfortable. We were thinking of taking more traditional vows and selecting a poem or something special to be read in place of original vows. What do you think? Any other ideas? Thank you!

How important is the JOP?

bopple321 — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 18:36:28 +0000

Hi Everyone, My fiance and I are getting married by a JOP and now is about that time when I have to try and book one. I went to a bridal expo held by my venue a few weeks ago and met a JOP there. I'm trying to set up an appointment to meet with him, but I'm not honestly sure what I should ask or talk about. Do people traditionally interview multiple JOPs? This is the only one that I know of in the area, so far. What's the process like? Thanks!

No Mushy Vows

blw12987 — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 17:34:11 +0000

I need help with vows? I know we can use traditional vows, but are there any good vows that arent too mushy? neither me or my FI are the mushy types and he has a great sense of humor so i need something a little different?

including kids in ceremony

Knottie_22382854 — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 14:32:24 +0000

My fiance and I met 20 years ago, had a child together, went seperate ways, married others and had other children. We've since reconnected, after divorces and will wed in May 2014. Our daughter is 17 now and I like the idea of her giving me away at our wedding. is this odd?

He has 3 children, we have our daughter and then I have 2 daughters from my marriage and we are wanting to include them all. But Im unsure how to do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!!

Thank you

Father just passed away wedding in 2 months......

jessicahines — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 02:59:52 +0000

My father just passed away last week and my wedding is May 25th 2013, my dad was so excited and I know he will still be there but I am going to have my brother and gma walk me down the aisle but I want to talk down to a song about my dad being in heaven. I am only 22 and his death was a complete shock so I am having to deal with all this just a couple months before my wedding..... and ideas on songs and how to get through this

Non-Traditional Vows Problem

AnnNicole87 — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 08:24:27 +0000

Ok, so I'm 99.9% my wonderful soon-to-be hubby is writing a song for his vows to me and now I'm FLIPPING OUT because I feel like traditional spoken vows couldn't possibly stand up to a song written and performed by my incredibly talented love. I thought about writing a poem (which I'm ok at) but can anyone else come up with another non-traditional way to deliver my vows? By the way, I can't sing, so that's not an option. Haha.

Stuck! Need a beautifully written non-religious reading!

HappilyEverAfter2702 — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 16:15:09 +0000

Suggestions, please! I read a few but it was "it"...

Incorporating step-daughter

Futuremrsmurphy18 — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:25:02 +0000

My fiance has an 11 year old daughter. We're having a shortened Catholic ceremony at the church I grew up in. We haven't spoken to the priest about the ceremony details yet. But I wanted to see if anyone has had any good experiences with incorporating step-children into the ceremony. I want her to know I'm just as excited about becoming a family with her as I am to marry her dad.

program fans?

Pookieson — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 04:32:12 +0000

Is there a good template online for program fans?

Non-traditional Ceremony/Reception

ALP2014 — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 01:04:31 +0000

I need some opinions. I want to have a very private and small ceremony in a small little town, in a bed and breakfast. At the wedding I want my parents, his parents, and our siblings. However, the following weekend or so I want to do a big party, probably cocktail style gathering. My question is, should I send out one invite and say we're getting married on one date and then state how the following weekend you all are invited to a the party to celebrate. Are there any other ideas about this? Does this sound okay? Feedback would be great!

Modern way to say "you may kiss the bride"

Reggieroo — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 18:10:59 +0000

We're looking for a more modern way of saying you may now kiss the bride.
Any suggestions?

Decorated Wedding Arches??

jeanturn — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 13:52:21 +0000

Does anyone know where I can find a company in Atlanta that wil set-up and decorate my wedding arch?

Groom's Entrance - Music Ideas??

b.rae.barry — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 18:51:27 +0000

I've been searching all over for Groom's Entrance ideas.. all I've found is Enter Sandman by Metallica. I think my fiance would like that, but I need other ideas!

Help!

daria24

Knottie_22382049 — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 23:16:49 +0000

I came up with another question. Was there any specific wording that was required during your vows for it to be legal. I know when an officiant does a wedding they are required to do the whole "by the powers vested in me by the blah blah blah pronounce you husband and wife" thing. So I was curious if there is the same sort of issue with something that had to be included for legality.

Vow idea

swimmy1988 — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 02:16:29 +0000

My fiance and I decided to do our own vows. In all honesty, I actually wrote a couple drafts of vows in my journal months before we got engaged. Stuff I'd say to him on our wedding day.

But after we got engaged, I really thought about it and wrote what I think will be my final draft. I wanted to see if it seems too cheesy.

"Jonathan,
I first thought that was we have was Just a Dream, but as I stand here to Marry You, our love seems more like A Sorta Fairytale.

Time and time again you have shown me the shape of your heart. When I needed you, you were my Safest Place to Hide. I really can't believe I Got You. But here we are today, sharing a love that I feel is Larger than Life. I Promise You with Everything that I am that I will Love You Always and Forever. Also, that I Will Take Care of You and I'll Be There For You.

I Just Want You to Know that I'll Never Break Your Heart and You're Never Going to Be Alone with me around.

Our life together Keeps Getting Better that I really Could Not Ask For More. I love you Inside and Out Jonathan. I am really excited to spend the rest of my life with you."

What do you think? I typed it a certain way with the capital letters of random words, because those are actually song titles I incorporated into the vows. But I hope I made the vows sincere. Thoughts?

VENUE COSTS???

yanceysimmons — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 19:03:07 +0000

What do the 'dollar signs' shown on the knot's wedding venues mean?
For example:
$..........?
$$........?
$$$......?
$$$$....?

I'm trying to get a ballpark idea of what I will be spending for a venue but I need translations. Can anyone help??

Self Uniting Marriage License

Knottie_22382049 — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 23:55:05 +0000

Me and my SO are thinking about getting married at my moms place in PA. She has a gorgous backyard that would be perfect for a small wedding. Neither of us is religious so we do not want to have a rabbi, minister etc. and the only other option in PA is a JOP. PA does not let you have a friend or family member get ordained nor do they allow a notary. We are not going to fake the religion route and do not was a complete stranger officiating our wedding. I was about to scrap the idea and start looking a venues in FL where we both live but then I saw there was an option to receive a Self Uniting Mariage License in PA.

This type of license is available in 3 states and enables you to get married without an officiant all you need are two winesses and to say your vows to eachother. It is sometimes called a Quaker Wedding but I looked it up and anyone can use this type of wedding. I showed this to SO and he was super exciter about it and will allow us to customize our wedding ceremony into what we want. *happy dance*

So my question is has anyone been to this type of wedding that can give some more information? Was it weird to not have an officiant leading? And the most importiant one do you know if you need to be a resident of the state that offers this type of marraige license to receive it since so few states do? Any help would be appreciated :)

Tradition of the Father (of the bride) walking Bride down the aisle then giving her away

OctBride103013 — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 17:02:26 +0000

I was discussing with my fiance that I'm opting to not have my father walk me down the aisle and give me away. In my mind, I see me walking down the aisle to the man I'm going to be vowing myself to for enternity. My dad and I are not that close nor is he close to my fiance. Everything that is involving our wedding has meaning and positive emotion behind it. My dad let go of me a very long time ago and my fiance & I didnt really have the support my family when we were first together or when we were got enaged. No one on my side has even discussed my wedding; my mom is waiting until 4 months before the wedding to go dress shopping for me but hasn't yet let me explain that I'm having my dress custom made. My sister, her son and her fiance are living with my parents and she is currently pregnant with her 2nd child and my mom is also in college and works a fulltime job. But she can make plans with my sister to go baby shopping. As far as I'm concerned, my fiance is paying for the wedding entirely. I dont want to step on any toes or hurt my dads feelings but I dont want to do this when it really hurts me b/c it makes me realize that my father and I should of had that relationship where he was giving us his blessing. Should I just bury the emotions deep inside and give my dad this moment OR should I talk with him about it (mind you, my dad will probably get super pissed and this maybe cause WWIII)?

Staging issues

1moreJohnson2be — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 07:05:51 +0000

I picked the venue my fiance was most comfortable with, and we went with an old historic building in the industrial district of Seattle that has been converted into a funky art gallery. Initially, when we booked the venue, there were tons of options for how to stage for the ceremony and perform the flip during cocktail hour.

Option 1 was rent the alley behind the gallery and then pipe and drape or tent it off to create a longue for cocktail hour. This required a permit and consent from the neighbors that share the alley. Unfortunately, for the day of my wedding the city is unable to issue a permit to me because of some construction thing they have planned, so that option is out.

Option 2 was to rent my caterers ballroom for an hour. They are across the street from my venue and their ballroom is awesome. But then someone booked it while I was sorting out the alley issue. So I lost that as well.

Option 3 is to cram all of my guests into the hallway during cocktail hour and have them walk in and out of the chaos of the flip to get to the bar and refill their drinks (it is after all cocktail hour, right? They're probably going to want to drink). I'm really not fond of this option at all. As a former caterer myself, I know how ugly set up can be and it takes away from the magic a little to see it happening first hand. Plus I feel like the caterers would be in the way of my guests and my guests would be in the way of my caterers.

I can't have them standing outside because of open container laws. My plan D is now to have the tables set up and just walk down an aisle between them and have a seated ceremony so we can go straight from getting married to partying with our guests. My question is has anyone done this or been to a wedding where this was done? Was it a success or a disaster? I don't want anyone's backs to be to us during the ceremony. I am sure I could stretch my imagination and come up with an option 5, but I am hoping that I can just figure out a way to do a ceremony with the guests at tables without it being a total disaster. I am open to any and all suggestions. The venue is long and narrow so I was thinking maybe two rows of banquet tables and just walking between them? I really have no idea. I just need some help!

Looking for non-religious reading ideas

Patgd — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 20:02:40 +0000

Hi everyone:

My fiance and I are having a non-denominational wedding ceremony although the officiant is a friend of my family's who is also a Baptist minister. We have one reading selected - it is a poem that was read at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward's wedding ceremony - but we need a second reading and I'm having a hard time finding one. We don't want anything that is incredibly long and, more importantly, we don't want one that comes from a Bible but I'm not sure where to look. Does anyone have any suggestions on where to look? Thanks so much.

Flower girl cannot throw petals :(

btk127 — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 18:17:35 +0000

Ok ladies I need your help! Our church won't allow us to throw petals, blow bubbles, through rice, confetti of anything like that. We don't have the option of cleaning it up either due to the short time span between the next mass after our ceremony.

However, our flower girls have been practicing throwing their flowers from the baskets for months now and are super disappointed they can't. I know they can carry bouquets or those little balls of flowers but does anyone have any good ideas for them to actually do anything cute while walking down the aisle if they can't throw anything?????

Spaniard Wedding Theme in NY

PamelaFabian — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 14:04:28 +0000

Hi everyone!! I recently got engaged. I'm looking to get married in Long Island, NY or Westchester, NY. I really would love to incorporate a Spanish (Spain) Theme. Can anyone suggest any ideas and/or Wedding Venues? Thanks so much!!