Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum — The Knot Community

Polish Weddings

kjan06 — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 07:37:29 +0000

Anyone here incorporating some Polish wedding traditions into their big day?

Mother Daughter dance?

k8888 — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 13:34:23 +0000

So here's my dilemma (a minor problem in the grand scheme of things...)

My father chose to not be part of my family's life anymore about 7 years ago, so needless to say I have no relationship with him. We haven't spoken, he's not invited, I don't even know if he knows I'm getting married. My mom has been more of a father than him most of my life anyway... so I was thinking of doing a Mother-Daughter dance in lieu of a Father-Daughter dance... or should I just not have a dance? My FI's mother would be heartbroken if she didn't have a dance with her son, so we can't skip it altogether. Am I better off skipping MY dance? I'm mostly afraid that people will feel sorry for me (is that pathetic, or what?) but I want to keep the mood of my wedding positive!

My mom is walking me down the aisle. I have an older brother who is in the wedding party, but I am not super close with him.

Opinions?

Garter removal, no toss?

kquirin1 — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 00:32:10 +0000

Hi all! I was wondering about doing the garter removal but not doing the toss. Do you think it is worth while, or should we skip it altogether? I am not uncomfortable with the removal and thought it would be fun, but I think the tosses can be awkward and embarassing. I was thinking of splitting my bouquet and giving 1/2 to each of our mom's. Appreciate any opinions!

Merging English and American

jmmcmanu39 — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 20:20:42 +0000

Hi all

Both myself and my fiance are living in England, but I am from America originally. We will be having our wedding here in England at Christmas, so I wanted to merge the English way with the American way. Things are done rather different, but our venue coordinator said it would be a good idea to merge the two countries in our ceremony and reception.

I'm asking my sister to do a speech, as traditionally the Father of the Bride, Groom and Best Man do the speeches. I'm also from a catholic background, so I will include a unity candle in the ceremony.

Aside from this -- Any ideas?!

Rings?

FutureMrsBarbee — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 16:13:26 +0000

Ive never paid attention until now. When you get married during the ceremony do you wear your engagement ring? Its a silly question but Im just not sure! Thanks!

Keeping My Name

sammiebree85 — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 19:19:03 +0000

For those of you who are keeping your name, how did you break the news to the in-laws (and how did they react)? And how did you make it known to your guests so you wouldn't get gifts engraved with his last name (or do you just cross your fingers this doesn't happen)?

Culture, class, and cheap?

alannascott80 — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 19:03:15 +0000

I am planning to have an outdoor wedding at our future home for around 100 people. I want our occasion to be memorable for us and our guests. There are some elements that I know I want to have. I am an avid belly dancer and my troupe sisters are going to perform and me dress will be a white beladi dress. I love seeinf how much fun other cultures have with weddings with traditions and even week-long events. We live in a very small town in the upper peninsula of Michigan and I am not sure how to bring in these various elements without costing a fortune and also not seeming like an odd mish- mash. Does anyone out there have some suggestions to incorporate Indian or other cultural elements and get ordinarily bored guests into having fun too?

changing last names

blues28 — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 17:06:31 +0000

Hi,

I just wanted to see what people thought about this. I've been thinking about whether or not I want to change my last name. I'm thinking of doing the hyphenated name change ( my last name-his last name). I've been thinking about the reasons why women change their last names and I started wondering that why in society 2011 more men don't also take their wives name like having (my name-his name). I just asked my FI if he'd consider and he said he'd think about it. What do you think?

interfaith wedding ceremony...

tobarlerner — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 15:30:10 +0000

i'm in the very beginning stages of planning our wedding. (we don't even have a venue booked or date set yet)

But what i do know is that we want to get married in sonomoa or napa... and i want to have a priest as i was raised roman catholic.. but my fiancés entire family is Jewish so i would also like to have the Jewish faith represented.

we live in LA so looking in our area wont help for the big day...

Where can i find a preist and a cantor in northern california who can preform a joint ceremony??

thanks!

XP: Bridal Procession

athlete010688 — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 13:26:05 +0000

I hope I put the subject line correctly - I also posted this on the music board, but wanted to post here as well since its about tradition.

I'm curious - how many of you are walking down to the traditional Bridal Chorus? I'm trying to decide if I want to walk down to Wagner's Bridal Chorus or Purcell's Trumpet Voluntary. Whatever song I choose will be played on a pipe organ. I like both songs, which is making it extremely hard to decide!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6rX3wlDsVI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lTTWraugCI

2 Sets of In-Laws, How do I include them all?

SSundberg08 — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 02:06:18 +0000

My Fiance's parents are divorced and both remaried. I want everyone to feel included in the wedding. Any suggestions?

Wedding Day Time Frame

[Deleted User] — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 19:10:06 +0000

I'm not sure if this is the right board to be posting this question on but I think this is the topic it most fits.

I'm trying to plan out the timeline for my wedding day. Mainly what time to have the ceremony, dinner, and dance start at. What I'm wondering is how much time to allot for each aspect.

Details:
-- The distance between the church and reception site is about 18 miles and will take approximately 20-30 minutes to drive.
-- The dinner will be half-buffet style, where the guests will receive a ticket for what they RSVP'd with for their meal and will hand the ticket to the first server who will dish their plate accordingly. We are estimating 200-250 guests.
-- My reception hall has a a cut-off time of 12:00 midnight.

My initial thought was to have the ceremony at 3:00, dinner at 5:00, and have the dance start at 7:00. But I've been wondering if that might be too much time in between. I don't want my guests to be standing around bored. My second thought was have dinner at 5:30 and dance at 7:00 but I'm just not sure how much time to allot so the guests won't be rushed but I also don't want too much time either where they will be standing around waiting.

Any and all input welcome! TIA

Wedding Out of Town - Hire Coordinator from HERE or THERE?

herinapotter — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 06:35:59 +0000

My fiance and I are trying to plan a Los Angeles wedding while he's living in Japan and I'm living in Oregon. If we were to hire a wedding coordinator, should we hire someone in my area that I'd be able to meet with or someone in Southern California who would be able to work with the vendors more closely?

Filipino Wedding Help

BlueEyedIrish — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 01:09:55 +0000

Hello! I am an Irish girl who is marryng into a filipino family. They are all first generation here so still very steadfast in tradition and culture. Does anyone have any advice for me or suggestions? I need some ideas on what the ceremony program looks like. We are doing the Arras, chord and veil. There are no sponsors (very long story but not doing them.) We are having all 10 of our aunts/uncles participate in the ceremony as well as my grandparents and his two sisters. I just don't kow how they do programs and I understand there are some requirements about honoring people or something. Please help. I am trying to please everyone and not sure how this is going to work.

No rose petals....

Lexidan2 — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:58:47 +0000

Hi...So I have a bit of a mental block. I'm not a big fan of roses, I like them but I don't want my flower girls to throw petals on the floor before i walk down the isle. Any other fun ideas I could replace rose petals with?

Brother Sister Dance

JamieSherie — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 00:34:25 +0000

I completely forgot about this...another bride posted a similar question (thank you for reminding me! :)) Anway, I've been searching for a song to fit this and cant find anything. We however really only listen to R&B...Definitely not country. Everyone is going to laugh and that's okay but I LOVE boys to men lol. I know I know. But there is meaning behind it. When I was little my bro use to always listen to it (he's 8 yrs older than me) so when I wwas little that was in haha. Well anyway, we use to listen to it so I'm trying to think of a song that they have but cant. it can be anythig really but that would be extra perfect! :)

Thanks! Dont laugh too hard when you read this..

Brides Walking Themselves Down the Aisle

kaykay1126 — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 23:22:38 +0000

Helloooo!!

So for the entire 10 1/2 months of planning my wedding, my dad was going to be the one walking me down the aisle. Just recently we have had a falling out where he says he won't come to the wedding now. Instead of having someone else walk me down the aisle, what if I just walk myself? I know that is becomming more and more acceptable so I was wondering what your thoughts are on the subject. Do you omit the part of "who gives this woman?"

Thanks!

Where does the bridal portrait go?

BLuvsE — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 21:45:56 +0000

I have no idea! I've seen it different places and don't know what makes the most sense...

He Caught The Garter And...

LoisLane007 — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 17:50:57 +0000

Now what? FI and I went to my friends' wedding back in March and he caught the garter. Well, I was going going through some bags and I found it in there and started to laugh at irony of it all(the brides' sister caught the bouquet and she is getting married next month).

So now I'm wondering what you're supposed to do with it since they did not ave a garter placement part in their reception.

Any thoughts?

Hebrew love poems?

BriannaMMariani — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 05:47:44 +0000

My Fiance's family is Irish so I am encorporating some celtic traditions, and since my family is Jewish I want to have a hebrew love poem read in the original hebrew. However I cannot find any poems anywhere. Does anyone have any ideas?

XP- Family at rehersal dinner

nmeirose — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 20:16:14 +0000

Hi ladies,

I had planned to invite the grandparents to the rehersal and rehersal dinner for two reasons: #1, they are walking down the aisle, and #2, more important in my book, they are family and I think it would be nice for them to be a part of the dinner with everyone. When I mentioned it to my FI he thinks it is overkill and they do not have to be invited (they are his grandparents- mine are deceased). I asked his mom her opinion but what is standard- do the grandparents come to the rehersal?

thanks so much for your input!

PS we are hosting the rehersal so it is our dime, not FI's parents', if that matters.

Western wedding or Eastern wedding?

choleandjoe — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 01:56:03 +0000

Last year, I went to China, very lucky, I attended a Chinese traditional wedding. That is very funny. take a very difference from Western. The bride in red clothing. and red veil and red shoes .the groom can not see his bride's till the end of the wedding. and there are many nice meaning about peanut and dates -----meaning have a child as soon as possible. they did not take cakes on wedding.
Do you want a Chinese wedding?

Cruise Ship Wedding

jn0377 — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 01:04:17 +0000

I am getting married on Carnival Valor out of the Miami port. Has anyone had or been to a wedding on a cruise ship? Any feedback?

Where do I put...

ItalianViolinist — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 23:00:31 +0000

Where do I put the bird cage for cards/money from guests? Is it customary to have it just at the reception, or also at the ceremony? Thanks!

American & Australian

calliequinn — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 18:09:51 +0000

my fiance is australian and i am american. we want to incorporate both of our nationalities somehow but we are really lost for ideas. any suggestions on how to work this out...i was particularly thinking abt something for the ringsnring bearor during the ceremony and then the reception.

How to include step parents in the big day?

hollylindberg85 — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 16:52:19 +0000

Hi all,

Since my parent divorced when I was very young, my step parents have been just as equally involved in my life as my biological parents. That being said, I am looking for ways to do something special to include my step parents in the big day without taking away from my mom and dad. I feel like having a secondary father/daughter dance with my step dad is taking away how special it is to have just a dance with my dad, and as we all know, the moms in general are pretty left out the day of.

Does anyone have any suggestions/ideas for how to make my step parents feel very special on our wedding day, without snubbing my biological parents? Thanks!

Holly

Can I get away with wearing a white dress?

freckled1013 — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 16:13:23 +0000

My fiancee and I moved in together about a year ago and everybody knows it, but we have been together since I was barely 18 and he is the only guy I have ever slept with. His family can be very conservative and although they really like me, they weren't ecstatic about us living together. We are the first couple in both of our families to live together before marriage and I'm afraid of the comments. Can I get away with wearing a white dress?

Personally I think white is more flattering on me, I have freckles but am a little tan so anything but white seems to almost blur the colors together.

Bouquet Toss

Melissa84_02 — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 19:26:57 +0000

I am planning on my bouquet being fake. Should I still have a separate toss bouquet or just throw that one?

Not taking his last name...how should pastor present us?

weenieniceballs — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 22:37:01 +0000

I am not taking my fiance's last name and our officiant would like to know how we'd like him to present us as a couple at the end of the marriage ceremony. Usually he presents the couple as "Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So." How have other couples been introduced when the bride is keeping her last name? Thanks!

Some Old & Something Borrowed -- can they be the same?

breaness — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 22:23:07 +0000

I mean, obviously, no one is going to tell us our marriage isn't valid because I didn't have one of each at our wedding, but I'm wondering -- do you think it counts?

My Uncle Tom passed away 2 days after Christmas last year and I am planning on my something borrowed being his dog tags from the Navy. They are the one possession of my Uncle's that my dad claimed for himself. I will put those on the bouquet.

I don't have a something old so I was wondering if that would count. I can't really think of what something old could be since I've already got everything accessory-wise figured out.