Registry and Gift Forum — The Knot Community

Going to a wedding...

Knottie92548810 — Wed, 09 Sep 2015 15:49:08 +0000

My husband and I are going to an out of town wedding in a couple of weeks and since we have to fly, we had their gift shipped to their house. Now, here is my question... Do we need to bring a card with us or is the fact that we already sent the gift good enough?

TIA!

Am I overstepping some boundaries with parent gifts?

lembaslover — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 15:28:55 +0000

For the last several weeks I've been looking everywhere for some small sentimental gifts for our parents for the wedding. I finally found stuff that I think they'd all like. For example for my FMIL who loves bracelets I found one that I thought she'd really like and on the inside it has the option to engrave it and I was going to have it say something like "Thank you for raising the man of my dreams, love your new daughter" and for my dad who always has a hankie I found a site that will embroider a personal message to him so I had one typed out saying how much he means to me. So anyways it's stuff like that for each of our parents and i was planning on writing a letter with my FI to each of them as well as a thank you.

Well I was showing my fiance what I found to see what his thoughts were and he got kind of upset and said he didn't know we were supposed to get them stuff and that there was no way he could compete with my thoughtful gifts. I'm not sure why he's surprised I've been asking him for ideas while looking but I guess he didn't understand what I was asking and that's probably why I've gotten no feedback from him. I really felt like I stepped over a boundary with him. Then he was saying the gift should be from both of us and I realized he's totally right and my gifts were very one sided. So I told him that was fine and I didn't mind changing the wording on all of it so that it's from both of us but then he was upset with that and is now saying no get your gifts and I'll just add a gift card or something.

So was I in the wrong? Should I still order the gifts but change the messages or should I just order them as is and let him add a gift card or do whatever he wants?

Moving After the Wedding- PSA

TNDancer — Mon, 31 Aug 2015 20:13:49 +0000

Hey y'all!

My sister moved immediately after her wedding. Her registry still had their old address listed, so a few gifts purchased after the wedding arrived at the old house. The (very nice) new homeowners shipped them to her new address. Just a quick note of something I had never thought of. Change your address!

Canadian Ladies - Where are you registered?

TheFanciestPants — Mon, 03 Aug 2015 15:39:10 +0000

We've been looking into registering and trying to figure out what the heck to do. Neither of us really wanted to register at all because tbh it just feels a bit weird and awkward, however we were talking to some friends who recently got married and they pointed out that we should probably register, because a lot of people show they care through getting gifts and it would be better to indicate a preference. I can understand that and we do want to make things as easy as possible for our guests so now we are seriously thinking about it.

It seems like most people I know register at The Bay BUT even though you can create a registry online you need to receive a call from a consultant and then go into the store for an appointment with them? This is not a thing either of us are interested in doing.

Has anywhere registered in Canada where a meeting wouldn't be necessary or is this pretty standard? I'm having a pretty hard time figuring out why I need to go into a shop physically and have someone try to "sell me" instead of just selecting the stuff online.

Undeposited Check Gift

VicTim328 — Fri, 21 Aug 2015 14:41:22 +0000

I'm hoping for some guidance.

I attended a wedding over a month ago, and gave a check to the newlyweds. They've been back from their honeymoon for over 3 weeks, but the check has yet to be cashed. I've never given a check as a gift before, so I have some questions.

1) How long did you wait before cashing checks you received as gifts?

2) Is it normal for this to take so long?

3) Should I reach out to the couple to make sure it wasn't accidentally discarded or there wasn't confusion on the bank's side?

4) If I do reach out, how do I approach it?

Thanks!

Looking for Feedback...Registry Sites

lou118 — Tue, 25 Aug 2015 01:32:48 +0000

Hello brides! I'm in the process of setting up our wedding registry and I'm not sure what route to go... We've been in our house for a few years so we don't really need the typical wedding registry items for the home. We'd like to have a registry for our honeymoon. In addition, I've considered having a brick and mortar registry for items like new bath towels, a knife set, etc for family that might be less comfortable with giving money or using an online website.

LOOKING FOR FEEDBACK...Does anyone have feedback or experience using any of the below registry sites? Give me the good, bad and the ugly.

- MyRegistry - http://www.myregistry.com/

- Zola - https://www.zola.com/promotion/weddingwire1

- HoneyFund - http://www.honeyfund.com/

- SimpleRegistry - http://www.simpleregistry.com/

- Our Wishing Well - http://www.ourwishingwell.com/

Thanks in advance!

gift card box dilemma

Knottie91800232 — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 16:18:48 +0000

I think the gift card box we registered for is too small. 8"x8"x7" for 175 guests. We got it at the bridal shower a few months ago. I don't know gift-card-volume-to-guest ratios, so I was just guessing when we registered, and now having actually paid attention at other weddings this summer, I should've definitely asked for a bigger one. I'm close enough with the bridesmaid who gave it to me to tell her and I don't think she'll mind. But certainly it feels rude to not use it, and putting out two card boxes seems greedy. Any advice? Could I turn this one into a decoration by covering the slot and get another box? Do I need to just suck it up and put that small one out and let cards pile up next to it? (I really don't like this idea for security reasons, but if I have to it's our fault for not returning it I guess).

How long to gifts keep coming in?

Snaps816 — Sun, 26 Jul 2015 09:13:07 +0000

We got married last weekend, and there are still a lot of gifts on our registry, as well as guests who haven't sent gifts. I know how this sounds, so I want to make it clear that I am grateful for every gift and understanding of the fact that not everyone can send a gift (I've been invited to weddings at times where I could not afford to send one). I'm not grumpy about not getting the items, I'm just wondering when we should go ahead and start buying the items we didn't receive. We have a small completion discount at each store for a limited time. Many items that belong as a set have not been completed, so I really do want to make sure we complete the sets. I'd even return some of the stand-alone items (like vases or platters) in order complete the sets (like dishes, glasses, and silverware).

So my question is for people who have been married -- for how long did wedding gifts continue to trickle in? Do people pretty much forget about it once the event is over? Or do things arrive over several months?

Not opening gifts at the shower?

[Deleted User] — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 23:48:02 +0000

I don't have a registry, and everyone who is invited to my shower knows we are saving for a large home project. From the people who have talked to my mom, it's sounding like they'll be giving cash or Home Depot gift cards. Because of this, would it be rude to NOT open anything at the shower? I'd feel funny just opening cards in front of everyone. Not only is it boring but I wouldn't want any guests to feel awkward with others seeing how much they gave. There may be a few box gifts but I'd prefer to open those afterward, so those who brought cards don't feel funny. How would you handle it?

Wishing Well Items

tmarie288 — Tue, 11 Aug 2015 06:43:12 +0000

Hi,

My bridal shower is coming up and my family throwing it already told me they are planning on including a wishing well for all the "little items" a new household may need (we both live at home with our parents so we need EVERYTHING )

my question is- do you include some of these little items on your registry? I'm talking about things like spatulas, dish cloths, sugar holders, pot holders, cooking utensils etc (basically anything like 5-10 dollars or less) or do you leave them all off of the registry and just see what people bring? My mom says its tacky to include little items, but I'm not sure if guests wouldn't appreciate a little guidance cause thats what I would like as a guest.

Thoughts?

Registering Or Not?

NicRen17 — Wed, 29 Jul 2015 16:49:27 +0000

I am not planning to have any showers (I am not expecting anyone to throw one). I wasn't planning on registering for gifts.

My FMIL has mentioned several times that we should register JIC someone would like to get us a gift. I am feeling a little side-eyeing to the whole thing. I understand where she's coming but I feel like it might be a little gift grabby. IF I did register, it would be for things like towels, bedding, small applicances like toaster, coffee maker, ect.

Opinions?

Lasting gift for my fiance

snakeylady — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 19:21:46 +0000

I want to give a gift to my fiance on our wedding day, but I'm having trouble deciding what. I know he is giving me a necklace that we saw when we picked out our wedding bands. Meanwhile, he is not a jewelry person, doesn't wear a watch, and dislikes wearing even a plain tie clasp when he's in a suit because it's "too flashy."

He will be wearing his antique pearl tie pin that was his late grandfather's at our wedding because they were very close and his mother asked him to. I suggested that I could look for a set of cufflinks that match it, but he didn't like that idea. (He did say he would wear them if I found a pair, but it would be because I ask him to.)

My next thought was getting him a really nice carving set. Snakeyguy does most of the cooking, and I think that's something he'd actually use.

Does anyone have any other ideas for gifts that aren't accessories and could last a long time?

(I know the usual tactic is to gift like it was his birthday or Christmas, but for those I usually ask him to pick out an upgrade to his (admittedly awesome) gaming computer. While he always likes them, they are items that will be obsolete in a few years. They're not something he will keep and say, "Oh, Snakeylady gave me this graphics card on our wedding day.")

Money vs. Gifts (Registering vs. Not).

YelizavetaYR — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 19:01:15 +0000

Firstly I would like to say that I'm in my 30s as are several friends getting married. But we all stumble on the same issue. We don't need toasters, plates etc. we need Cash. (if we did need a toaster we would go out and buy it).

I've been told by several parties that if no registry exists that people see this as "you have what you need and no gifts are required" However, that seems to me a "i don't have time to unnecessarily make a registry and I don't need pots and pans" but i do need cash because even a humble wedding is expensive. Cold hard green cash. This may sound awful but what I want guests to bring is money. I'm not saying they even have to cover their cost, I plan a wedding I take on the financial responsibility. But if they are bringing a gift be it for $50 or $500 instead of pots cash helps relieve the burden of the cost of the wedding.

How do you tell people this -- some know, some can share it through word of mouth but generally going to someones 3rd cousin and saying don't bring me pots bring me money is just plain rude. So how can this be done?

Thanks,

Cookware - Hard anodized vs Stainless steel

Knottie31473566 — Sun, 26 Apr 2015 23:40:17 +0000

Hello! We are getting ready to make our registry and I have been reading up on different types of cookware - having an aluminum core on just the bottom or up the sides also, etc. Where I'm stuck is the difference between hard anodized and stainless steel (other than being different materials lol). What are your opinions/preferences for the two? Any brand/type recommendations? All-Clad is a little pricey for us, as we'll be just regular at home cooks. We will probably register at Bed Bath & Beyond and Target; possibly one more place.

One other add-on question: for a stock pot, if I would mostly use it for pasta/potatoes, will it be fine to just pick something with an aluminum core bottom? Or is there another piece of cookware that would be better and pull double duty?

Registry questions -- lawn and garden stuff?

SpartanCat — Sun, 12 Jul 2015 02:56:32 +0000

Hello! I have a couple quick questions, we are looking into buying a house and have zero outdoor maintenance type items. Is it tacky to register for items like shears, lawn mower, weed whacker, snow blower, rake/shovel/trowel or whatever type items? If not, are there brick and mortar stores that do registries for outdoor stuff or is amazon the only option? I very briefly checked out Sears but it was set up with outside merchandisers instead of just Sears stuff so I didn't even check if they had a registry. I didn't know if home depot or Lowes or anyone like that could do it. If they do, has anyone used them and how was your experience? Thanks in advance!

Trouble with Macy's registries?

[Deleted User] — Thu, 16 Jul 2015 03:04:17 +0000

I was wondering if anyone else has had trouble with Macy's registries in the past, specifically mixed up deliveries. Last week I received a pot and pan set I'd registered that was supposed to go to my mom's house instead of mine so she could gift it to me at my shower, and today I came home to a package that contained a maxi dress I definitely hadn't registered for, supposedly purchased by my aunt. I can't imagine she would have considered that a shower gift, so my guess would be that she had purchased it along with whatever she got from my registry, and Macy's accidentally sent it to me instead of her. Has anyone else had something similar happen? This is making me nervous about getting other gifts early, since I don't want people to be upset about me receiving things that they intended to give me at my shower, but I don't know how to correct it.

Knife sets

JenLD2015 — Wed, 10 Jun 2015 19:15:14 +0000

Hello!

My husband and I are looking into completing our registry items and are a bit stuck on a knife set. I was wondering if any cooks out there had strong opinions on Global? We recieved two, and would like to complete the set but are a little unsure of what "must have" knives make a good starter set.

Thanks!

Havent received a gift and it disappeared from my registry

JaniV123 — Sun, 05 Jul 2015 22:49:31 +0000

An item that was bought off my registry was out of stock and I was sent a backorder email saying it would ship by July 10. Well it has disappeared from my purchased gifts from the registry. Since I got the notification I sent the Thank You card for the item even thought I hadn't received it.

I now am worried something happened and I don't know if I should contact the person.

"Early" gifts?

[Deleted User] — Fri, 10 Jul 2015 15:06:06 +0000

A friend of ours found our registry online (we're not sure how--we haven't even given it out to anyone and MOH hasn't sent shower invites yet!) and bought us a gift. We're registered with Zola, which notified us of our gift and gave the option for us to have it shipped now, or wait and have it shipped later. Our shower is in August. Should we wait to "receive" this gift until after the shower? I wouldn't want the friend to think that we don't want their gift, but I also don't want to seem greedy by having it sent to us early!

Registering for Photography Items (Not wedding photographer)

stephaniejandkylem — Sun, 05 Jul 2015 16:32:21 +0000

Hello All.

I am recently engaged. FI and I are travel nurses so we move every 3-6 months and have everything we need (it fits nicely into our car) so we don't need much. Our mom's have been asking about our registry. They think we will be a difficult couple to buy for (which, I agree, is true). We have decided to ask for a few traditional items to replace some we have that are getting worn, but would like to add more non-traditional items.

We spend a lot of time hiking in national parks and each have a nice DSLR camera body (Nikon J1/J2) that we are learning to use and growing with. We are at a point where a few essentials would go a long way in improving our picture quality. We are thinking of adding a photo editing software (Lightroom), tripods, specialty filters, a new camera bag/backpack as we are outgrowing ours. This doesn't add many more items to our list though. For photographers, what additional items would you list - thinking down the road a little, what other items may we "grow into" as photographers.

Thank you.

Crate & barrel will ship your boxed gifts back home, will anywhere else?

marie2785 — Sun, 28 Jun 2015 16:40:54 +0000

Sharing because I found this out, and it's awesome. I'm guessing other stores do this too, anyone know of where?

Problem: I had my wedding shower this weekend, 500 miles away from where I live. I received some beautiful, thoughtful, and VERY fragile gifts. Most of which I did not feel safe putting on an airplane. Airline staff have broken wayyy to much of my stuff over the years, and I've had friends get stuff stolen out of their bags.

Solution: I called Crate and Barrel, who told me to bring the gifts in. They took the gifts, and "exchanged" them for the exact same items, which are being sent to my house directly from their warehouse. Shipping is free since I had over $99 worth of gifts. This saved me $50 in checked luggage fees since now I dont have to use a huge suitcase, and it also saved me from having to pay to ship the gifts home that wouldn't fit into the suitcase.

I'm really happy Crate and Barrel have this option, and offered it the minute I called and asked for their recommendation. My sister in law and cousins all commented how they wished theyd done this, since many of them broke gifts by shipping them themselves or putting them in their luggage.

Do other stores offer this too?

The only appropriate place to vent my excitement about gifts!

Snaps816 — Sat, 09 May 2015 07:31:00 +0000

Our wedding is a little over 2 months away. STD's have gone out, but not invites. But... gifts have started to arrive. We've received like 5 so far.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit how exciting this is. I got home yesterday and there was our full luggage set and Cuisinart food processor. Not since I was a child and believed in Santa have I been so excited to see gifts arrive. Just a big old pile of boxes outside our front door after a tough day of work.

I realize this is childish, and it makes me feel greedy and materialistic. But I can't help it. The whole reason I registered for these things was that I wanted them! And now they are arriving! Is it ok to just bask in this a bit? FI and I are barely back on our feet after some rough times during the recession. Most of our stuff is second-hand and beat up. Our couch is an abomination (no, we didn't register for a new couch). I never thought I'd care so much about new stuff, but it turns out, it sure makes me feel loved. I am not just happy for the things, I am incredibly grateful to the people who sent them, for caring enough to do so and hopefully coming to the wedding. If anything, it's more motivation to show them all a hell of a good time. I truly hope that as time goes by, when I use this serving bowl or that appliance, I'll remember who sent it and appreciate them.

Also I am excited to give away some of our old stuff (not the really crappy stuff, maybe just the miss-matched and college-era stuff) to my co-workers who are just starting out and in their first apartments. That's pretty much how I acquired all of my starting-out household stuff. I'd have been super excited if someone gave me 5 wine glasses or a decent suitcase.

Phrasing this thank-you?

primafaba15 — Mon, 29 Jun 2015 02:29:24 +0000

We just received a gift (a check) from a friend who was not invited to our upcoming wedding. I feel somewhat bad as she invited both of us to her wedding last year and we attended. This came a few days after the thank-you from her baby shower (I didn't attend, but sent a gift) in which she asked when the big day was coming up, so I'm not sure if she expected to be invited.

We decided not to include her because (1) we're not terribly close, I was somewhat surprised to receive her wedding and shower invites; (2) we've had almost no contact since her wedding last year; and (3) we're keeping our wedding very small (we're expecting around 70; hers was about 300 people).

I know I need to get a thank you out straight away -- is it appropriate/necessary to mention something about the wedding? Apologize, explain we are having a very small wedding, something along those lines? Or can I avoid mentioning the issue?

ETA: Her due date is also within a week of the wedding, and she would have to travel a long distance, so we thought probably she wouldn't be able to attend anyway, but it's hard to know...

Requesting card gifts

squigs25 — Sat, 20 Jun 2015 13:12:39 +0000

I am trying to come up with a "cute" way of requesting cash. We live in a small apartment in New York City, so to be completely honest, we just don't have room for many more boxed gifts.

Initially, we took down our registries after the bridal shower, but we have have still continued to receive a few packages (both from accepts and regrets). I was thinking of posting "help us keep our apartment uncluttered with a card gift" on the registry page of website, but I think this might sound cold and demanding.

Any suggestions?

Should I try to add to registry 3 days out?

luckya23 — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 03:30:31 +0000

Almost everything has been purchased from the registry, save for tiny things like individual spatulas and big things like the Ninja system.

FI's family makes up 75% of the guest list, and let's just say they did not look at the registry for the gifts I received at my shower.

So if they're not going to use it, maybe it doesn't matter - - but maybe it will cut down on the random things from them if I fill it out with more on the registry?

They don't seem to be "check in a card" people, which is surprising considering it's not so far from where I come from! Also I've had a bunch of stuff sent to our house from that side in the last week.

Things Remembered Etching

[Deleted User] — Sat, 20 Jun 2015 19:53:41 +0000

A relative bought me some very expensive champagne flutes (about $75 a piece) for a shower gift. I want to get them etched with our wedding date and monogram. Is Things Remembered a good place to have this done? I would hate for something to happen to a $75 champagne flute that was gifted to me. I would feel awful. The speciality shop where she purchased the glasses offers etching done by an outside company, but it's like $30 per glass.

What's your experience with Things Remembered?

Dinner 4 two

Knottie35557125 — Mon, 10 Nov 2014 21:20:27 +0000

I just recieved a call for a vacation and other sorts of free gifts from Dinner 4 two. I want to know if its a scam or is it real? Also, is it worth me going to check out?

How early did you start a registry?

[Deleted User] — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 18:28:59 +0000

My wedding is in January, but we are putting our wedding website link on the save the date cards that will be going out this summer. Is it okay to start registering for things so that the registry will be full and available so that people can get things at their convenience? Our shower (the one that I know is definitely happening) will be early November.

Register at a store convenient for guests?

julieanne912 — Tue, 28 Apr 2015 23:17:11 +0000

Ok, we're registered at Target, Amazon, and Crate and Barrel. FI's family and many of the guests live in SW Wyoming where there is not a Target or a Crate and Barrel. I'm feeling a little bad that I didn't register at a store in their town, but the only stores there are WalMart, KMart, and JCPenney (with an extremely limited housewares section).

Am I overthinking this? Are my stores fine and they can just shop online if they want to buy us a gift? I know FI's mom does a lot of catalog and online shopping already.

ETA: I would swap out one of the stores I'm registered at should I switch... probably Target since I guess I could get similar things at JC Penney.

Where can I get sports flasks??

knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226 — Fri, 08 May 2015 14:38:34 +0000

I thought it would be easy to find reasonably priced ones, but it's not! I also can't find any for certain teams. Any suggestions?