Wedding Party — The Knot Community

How did you send info to your BP?

[Deleted User] — Tue, 15 Sep 2015 19:53:59 +0000

I am asking my BP to pick long dresses in a few shades of blue. As far as shoes and hair and makeup, they can do literally whatever they want.

I created a list with a bunch of different dresses I personally like, and I organized it by price just to give them some ideas or jumping off points, because some of them have expressed panic when I told them I wasn't going to be super picky about their clothes.

A few of my BMs all live in the same area, and I think they want to go shopping as a group. One of my BMs lives across the country and I know she will definitely be picking out her dress on her own.

My question is: what is the best way to communicate these kinds of details to my BP? I am fine with going shopping with whoever wants to go, but I also don't care if they want to go themselves. Should I just share the doc of different dress ideas with everyone in a Facebook message and see who wants to do what? I am trying to make sure I don't ruffle any feathers or hurt any feelings in any way.

Also, other than repeatedly saying that I don't need their help with anything, how can I dispel this whole sense of "well, XYZ is what a GOOD bridal party does?" One of my BMs has already said she would help me make centerpieces or pick things out if I want. My MOH apparently made a binder of ideas. I told them both that I really don't expect them to do any of that and I don't want them to do that kind of stuff, but they keep rolling their eyes and telling me to knock it off. GAH!

pregnant bridesmaid

Knottie33614808 — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 21:17:57 +0000

My niece is getting married this summer and just found out that one of her bridesmaids was trying, and was successful, in starting a family nine months before the wedding date. Her bridesmaid's due date is close to the wedding date, and my niece is torn between feeling happy for her friend but also let down that she has to worry whether her friend will go into labor on her wedding day or be so late in her pregnancy that she won't want to participate. Obviously no one needs to ask the bride when they can start their family but is she wrong to feel let down by her friend? I should add that when colors were picked and dresses selected her friend knew she was pregnant but didn't tell my niece.

Day of wedding with big bridal party

peachy13 — Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:57:06 +0000

My hair stylist and makeup artist are arriving 8 hours before our "need to be ready by" time to help beautify me, my mom, FI's mom, my 9 bridesmaids, and my 2 flower girls. Lawd help me.

Is 8 hours absolutely overkill? I'm supplying food, drinks, etc. but I feel like I should let my wedding party know that they're not obligated to stay in the room for 8 hours... or is that maybe an unnecessary idea? I'd be worried about someone leaving and then not getting back in time to get hair or makeup done.

I wasn't going to bother with a hair/makeup schedule of who goes when because I think that's too controlling, but now I'm wondering if I should?

Personal Attendant

alissakay7 — Sat, 26 Sep 2015 18:44:47 +0000

So I'm who's all having a personal attendant. I was planning on having my little brother's girlfriend (will be wife someday). If they were engaged or married I would have had her as a bridesmaid, but since they aren't I planned on personal attendant. Do people have personal attendants anymore? She'd be there to help decorate (we can't decorate until the day of), take care of vendors and be my go to person the day of.

I wanted to ask her in person, but she is in France until early next year (we are getting married September 2016). Sending something is out of the questions because she is always on the move. Would it be cheesy to send an e-mail?

Groomsmen

alissakay7 — Sat, 26 Sep 2015 19:01:21 +0000

I have my wedding party all asked (6 girls and 2 ring bearers), but my fiancé is dragging his feet. We are getting married September 17, 2016 ,which happens to be opening day of bow season in WI, and ourselves as well as most of our friends are hunters, so I feel like he should be asking sooner then later.

The other problem he is having is that the guy who was always supposed to be his best man was killed in a car accident 3 weeks before we got engaged and I feel like he's still struggling with that. He feels obligated now to ask his little brother to be his best man (they aren't super close and there is a 7 year age difference). I keep trying to tell him that it's fine not to have him as his best man.

Also how did your fiancé ask his wedding party? Looking for any creative ways to ask.

What was the best bridesmaid gift you ever received?

frenchiekin — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 15:47:06 +0000

Hi ladies!

I am in the midst of purchasing BM gifts and am collecting ideas for each girl - upon the advice of the ladies here, I am doing totally individual, birthday-like gifts for each. This has been met with some resistance by my mother (who thought I needed to get them each something wedding-related) and my MOH (who freaked when she realized she had to figure out what jewelry to wear for the wedding, since I would not be getting everyone matching earring sets). I've tried to deflect all of that as gracefully as possible. I've been a bridesmaid 3 times and I don't use or even still own any of the items that were given to me by the brides, as they were all specific to their weddings and things that weren't at all about my personal taste. I'm trying to break the mold in my circle here!

Anyway, curious about what your absolute favorite or most memorable gifts you received as a bridesmaid were. I have everyone mostly covered at this point but would love some ideas for add-ons that maybe haven't crossed my mind yet and would also work for some of my besties. Thanks all!

Bridesmaid/Flower Girl Emergency Kits

cassiecole726 — Wed, 16 Sep 2015 19:38:01 +0000

I'm looking at making DIY Emergency Kits for all my bridesmaids and Flower Girl. I have a good list for the 3 older bridesmaids (asprin, comb, mints, safety pins, pony holders, etc); the typical "emergency kit." But I want to make an emergency kit for the other bridesmaid who will be 11 years old, and the flower girl who will be 6 years old. I know they don't need the same things as the other maids, but I don't want them to feel left out either.

Any cute/fun ideas on what to put in the girl's emergency kits?

I want to try an avoid things that are "too big" because I already found these super cute clutches (11.5 in x 8.5 in) I want the stuff to fit into. But if everything doesn't fit, things happen :-)

MOH issues...

Knottie1436805937.defunct635832252505236958 — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 00:16:22 +0000

So...I have a bit of a sticky situation. My sister is my MOH, and in some ways, we are very close, and others, I have difficulty. She is very controlling and pushy. She is also very much a person who loves to steal the limelight (she wanted to pick her MOH dress before I even had my dress, and was sending me pictures, of honestly, pretty revealing dresses, when we're having a church wedding). Then she didn't like the colors I picked (emerald green and blush pink) and she tried to push us towards something else. Luckily, my FI stood up for me on that, because I have a hard time doing that with her. She can also just be plain mean - she says I'm having a buffet which is tacky. Speaking of tacky, nothing we are doing is good enough, and she is pushing us to spend more and more on things. Even with the bridal shower, which she informed me I shouldn't get - because it will be a pain for her to plan - I will have to pay for because SHE doesn't have any money. So, I wanted something simple, lunch and wine with my favorite girls, but SHE wants brunch at a fancy restaurant on the coast that is at least an hour drive for everyone and $75/person! My FI and I are both simple people, we don't need/want anything fancy. I know some of it is jealousy, and some is just her domineering personality. I'm trying to find a way to keep things peaceful, but still get the wedding we want. I usually let her run over me, because I hate fighting, but she is very, very sensitive, and takes everything personally, so it's very hard to not start fights. And she is my sister, my family - this should be a time we are all happy, not bickering. I am starting to lose my mind with it all - too much stress, and out of ideas on how to make this all work. Any thoughts? Please & thanks.

Miniature Bride?

Knottie94043838 — Tue, 22 Sep 2015 00:03:51 +0000

So a little story to get started, my "neices" (best friend and matron of honors daughters) were my obvious choices for my flower girls even before I started any planning. When my best friend renewed her vowels her daughters were also her flower girls, my son was her ring bearer. Her oldest daughter would say for the longest time that she was going to marry my son, and after they were both in her moms wedding, my niece would tell everyone that she had married my son. you know it was so completely cute (keep in mind there is absolutely no actual family relation between them).

Fast forward to when I went to pick up my wedding dress I wandered over to look at flower girl dresses, picked out one and my mom and I argued the whole way home over if a flower girl was suppose to wear white or if that was the mini bride. This was the first time I had ever heard of a mini bride. Now I am so confused because really and truly I do not know what the actual role is or means, but I just thought since I already do have two flower girls and two ring bearers it wouldn't hurt to just switch the roles for my niece and my son. Plus, I know my niece would absolutely love to get "re-married" haha.

My Question is firstly, can anyone help me out with what the role of a mini bride actually is? Is it just to look cute and carry the title or is there more to it?

Secondly, I am completely open to your opinion on what to do! I am getting more and more confused by the day and the more planning that comes my way!

Thanks In Advance!

Bridal Party

WesternMA0516 — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 03:32:35 +0000

I'm new! I've read a lot in the past two days and I know that only I can choose my wedding party and that I want to go with my nearest and dearest. With that said, I know that while everyone continues to tell me that "it's your day!", many others have feelings and expectations about it which is making it more complicated when I think about choosing my bridesmaids.

We're getting married next May. FI plans to have 5 groomsmen, including my brother, and 4 close friends. He's debating including his BIL of 2 years, who he is getting closer to.

I have conflicted feelings about who to choose. I have 2 sisters, he has 2 sisters, and I have 1 long-time best friend who I plan to include, no matter what.

I'm considering including 2 or 3 friends who I work with, who I've gotten close to over the past 8+ years. 8 years ago, the 4 of us did everything together. More recently, there's been disagreements that have pulled the group apart. Two of the three friends don't speak to each other after a bad argument last spring. I'm still on speaking terms with everyone. At this point, I'm really close to two of the women and would love for them to be apart of my day. The third is very wrapped up in being a mom and basically has told me that she doesn't have time to be a good friend. It is a struggle to maintain our friendship and I need to initiate any contact we have outside of work. From past experience with last spring's friendship ending argument, I know that asking the first two, but not asking the third to be a bridesmaid will end my friendship with her, plain and simple. Another reluctance is that she and I were in a wedding for one of the other girls a few years ago and she told me several times that she hates being a bridesmaid and never wanted to be in another one. Since I got engaged, the other two have expressed interest in being involved in the wedding and I know would love to be bridesmaids, and I would love having them. The third has not asked anything about the wedding and seems pretty disconnected that it is happening. All would still be invited to the wedding, no matter what.

So I feel like my choices are:
1. Decide now and just include sisters + best friend
2. Decide now and include sisters, best friend, 2 friends... likely ending friendship with 3rd friend.
3. Decide later (by mid October?) and figure out what feels right then... perhaps the absent friend will get closer or farther apart, making the decision easier.
4. Include everyone and see if the third friend is even interested. How does that conversation go? "Do you want to be a bridesmaid, or would you prefer to be guest?"

Which option do you think is the best at this point?

Do you tell someone they're not in the WP

kimmiinthemitten — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 13:17:10 +0000

Fi asked me to take a question to the boards. We have friends coming over today to watch the Lions game and celebrate his birthday. One of these friends is an old college friend and they've remained close since however FI decided he won't ask him to be a GM. He thinks this friend probably expects to be a GM since FI was for him. Should he say something preemptivly (not necessarily today) or let him find out naturally? I already told him if the wife asks I'm going to say I'm not sure if FI has decided yet. Just for clarification: I know now it's too early to pick WP but didn't know that when we asked. We were excited:). Unintentionally (and not for even sides) we both asked our sibling, best friend, and cousin so while I know anything can happen the person with the shortest relationship is 16 years. Also I know WP are not tit for tat so FI doesn't have to ask friend however that doesn't mean some people don't treat them as such.

Bridesmaids but no groomsmen, WHAT TO DO?

cassiecole726 — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 18:22:47 +0000

Hi everyone, I need some help with how to set up my wedding party for walking down the isle, and for standing up with my fiance and I. My fiance was going to have his best friend as his best man and nephew as his Jr. Groomsman (he is only 10). But now things have kind of went south with him and his friend, and I’m not sure they will work it out. With that being said, I have my best friend as my maid of honor, mine and my fiance’s sisters as bridesmaids (total of 2; one his and one mine), his daughter as the Jr Bridesmaid (11 years old), and I have my cousin as my flower girl. So with having 5 girls to one boy, I’m not sure how to have the girls set up for down the isle or how/where to stand up front with us. I know I will have the Jr. Bridesmaid/Groomsman walk down together, and my flower girl is going to walk down with my dog, but for the 2 bridesmaid and my maid of honor, I’m totally in a loss of what to do. I can’t or would never take my girls out of the wedding party. I have a feeling this is a very unique situation, and I’m not sure if many, or anyone, has encountered this before, but any suggestions or input would be much appreciated.

I should also add that the ceremony is unformal, very small wedding with maybe 30 guest, all being close family members, it is being held on my grandparents property in the country.

Thank you!

My brother is having a DW in Vegas - attend or not attend?

letters2lindsay — Thu, 10 Sep 2015 14:40:34 +0000

I am really conflicted because I have to make a decision on whether or not to attend my brother's wedding in Vegas (in 2 weeks). I just found out about it 2 weeks ago, so it's kind of an elopement, but with close family. He lives in TN, I live in NY, and they're getting married in Vegas. My parent's are going, and some relatives that live on the west coast, and her mom and grandmother are going, not sure about her siblings or relatives.

He's my only brother.

My husband (of 369 days, thanks for keeping track Knot!) will be out of the country and originally I was supposed to go with him, but those plans are still up in the air, too. Long story short, he's going camping in Norway in Sept/Oct with his dad for 3 weeks and I was going to go tag along for a week and fly back. He's leaving next week and I still need to decide if I'm going or not going to that, too......

Anyway, my brother's wedding is on Monday, 9/28. Plane tickets to get there are between $400-$600. This trip messes up my original trip plans to Norway because I was going to leave in September, but I can still find a ticket there in early October for $1,200ish.

I've been planning the Norway trip for years and I budgeted for it, but I can't really afford both. Regardless I am still going to give my brother and his new wifey a wedding gift so that's a new expense, too, that I didn't plan on.

Add to the mix - last year my only brother did not attend my wedding. We gave him 11 months notice (he gave us 1 month), he couldn't come because of work (which I found out that he didn't even ask for time off, his boss didn't know that he had a sister...), and he waited until 2 weeks before my wedding date to tell me he wasn't coming, he didn't send a card or anything, he hasn't spoke to my DH is 6 years, so there's some drama between DH and my brother...

I'm kind of caught in the middle. I don't want to NOT go to my brother's wedding out of spite. I don't want to go into debt over his last minute wedding and my parent's can help some by letting me crash in their hotel room, but it would still be an expensive trip, counting my flight, parking fees at the airport because I would be going alone and leaving out of an airport 90 minutes away to get a cheaper flight, $$ for a pet sitter because I'm a crazy cat lady...

If I don't go to Norway, I can better afford Vegas, but DH may feel like I chose my brother over him. If I do both, it'll take a while to pay off my cc...
If anyone has ideas or insight or suggestions or comments, please let me know.

Thanks!!

Should I invite...

Knottie1436805937.defunct635832252505236958 — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 19:52:00 +0000

This girl and I used to be very close for a few years. We worked together, but then we both left the company, moved many miles apart, and although we still talk on occasion, we are not close anymore. No fights or disagreements, we just don't see each other much, or have much in common anymore. I knew she started a wedding coordinating business, so of course I asked her for a quote. I regret it now, because she is WAAAY out of my price range, even with my friend discount; which she was kind enough to offer me. Now, I have to turn her quote down, but am wondering if I'm obligated to invite her to the wedding. I honestly probably wouldn't have if I had never brought up the wedding coordination. And, if I invite her now, she'll become a guest instead of a vendor, and I am sure will bring her husband and two kids (kids are welcome). So, that's 4 new people to the invites list, and we are pretty much out of room. But, I don't want to be rude, and it feels awkward to me, that I asked her to be a possible vendor, but not inviting her. Thoughts?

Bridemaids Gifts at Bachelorette Party

MissMed07 — Tue, 08 Sep 2015 21:25:24 +0000

Hi Ladies,

Is it out of the norm to give my bridesmaids gifts to my wedding party during the bachelorette party? I am making them all custom relaxation bags filled with kimono robes, wine, glasses, bath salts, candles, shower gel ans mani pedi kits. Things they can enjoy anytime.

Is it customary to do it during the rehearsal dinner or after? Or can I do it before? I'm not really sure.

Thank you!

Length of time apart - asking a friend to be in a wedding party

Knottie1431972640 — Tue, 08 Sep 2015 19:20:19 +0000

I am trying to figure this out, if it's odd or normal. For my groomsmen, I want people who represent different stages of my adult life, and pick the people who were important during that stage, not necessarily people that I hang out with a lot now. I moved from West to East Coast 5 years ago. A good friend/old roommate of mine is still out there, and we don't really talk very much anymore, just because of work and timing and distance and all that.

Would it be weird if I asked him to be in the party? We text back and forth at this point and the few times we have seen each other it's been great, but mostly we're not big phone talkers so we almost never catch up on a normal basis.

.

Knottie69624727 — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 20:14:38 +0000

Something other than robes for the bridesmaids to wear the day of?

ShearChemistry — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 18:53:46 +0000

The whole robe for getting ready before the wedding thing is played out to me. While cute, makes for great pictures, and useful, I don't want to do it for the following reasons

1. I'm sure my bridesmaids have stash of satin robes in various colors with their initials or "bridesmaid" embroidered on them

2. Having intials embroidered on a robe makes no sense as a lot of my bridesmaids are seriously dating people and their last names may change sooner than later anyway.

I want to get them something to wear while we are getting ready that is cost effective, cute, easy to get out off without disturbing their hair and makeup, and that they'll wear again. Any suggestions?

Jenny Yoo Aidan - Real Pictures?

Knottie1429212719 — Fri, 04 Sep 2015 13:56:49 +0000

Does anyone have real pictures of their bridesmaids in the Jenny Yoo Aidan convertible dress in blush? I'm really considering these for my bridesmaids and I'm dying to see them! There aren't a lot online and they all have different lighting so it's hard to get a good idea of what they look like.

Thank you!!

Gift for a 2-year old.

arrrghmatey — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 16:20:50 +0000

I've gotten gifts for my entire bridal party except for my youngest niece, who will be two years old later this month. I'm totally stuck here. I've only met this niece once (they live out of state) so I don't know what she likes, and my sister offered no suggestions. I'd like to spend more than $10 or $15 on a gift, seeing as I spent that much on each gift for my other 6 nieces/nephews. The two year old isn't a member of the bridal party (she will be sitting with her dad during the ceremony), but my sister has made it perfectly clear that her two year old deserves a gift, too. Any suggestions?

Bridal Brunch

Knottie1251661 — Sun, 30 Aug 2015 22:20:07 +0000

I have 10 months until my big day and since not all my bridesmaids know each other, I was thinking of having a "brunch with the bride" with my bridesmaids. I was thinking of doing this in October/November right before or after the bridesmaids try on dress options. I figured not only could we get together for everyone to meet, but I thought it would be a good time for everyone to discuss good dates for a bridal shower and bachelorette party.

(My bridesmaids all live in the same city, I live 3 hours away. I wanted to knock everything out while in town)

1. Is it okay to invite everyone to have brunch at a restaurant, but have everyone pay for themselves? I don't want people to assume I am going to pay for everything, since I invited them.

2. Is it obnoxious for me to want to plan out the dates for the bridal shower/bachelorette party this early on?

Who should be in charge of FG and RB

Knottie79725535 — Thu, 27 Aug 2015 19:22:35 +0000

Hi! Needing some advice (I am getting too much from my family regarding this!!)

My RBs are my twin nephews who will be 15 months at my wedding. I planned on having them sit in a wagon and get pulled down the aisle as they will still be so little and barely walking at that time. We recently found out that my fiance's sister is now expecting a baby as well! Not sure of boy or girl yet, but will be only 6 months at my wedding.

Who should pull the wagon down the aisle at the ceremony, and what should I do with the 6 month old? Don't want to leave them out totally. Originally i was going to have my sister (MOH) pull her sons in the wagon, but people have told me that seems strange and it should be my mother instead.

HELP!

Thanks!!

Another bridal party gift post...sorry!

justjesss — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 13:07:43 +0000

Ok all, I am thinking about making quilts for my bridal party as their gifts. I am having a guest quilt for people to sign and probably mini quilts as part of the center pieces. So quilts will play a part in the wedding. The gift quilts would not, however, be made to match the wedding colors or anything like that. They would be personalized to each girl's interests. I personally would love to get this as a gift and would consider something like this for a Christmas/birthday gift as well...but I feel like I might be biased so I wanted to reach out for some fresh opinions! Thanks!!

Matron of Honor Dropped Out... What do I do?

Knottiebk — Sun, 30 Aug 2015 00:39:58 +0000

My MOH dropped out 5 months until the wedding. She found out in June that she is pregnant and will be 8 months by the time the wedding came around. Her husband took a job across the country and they moved. Because she is pregnant and will be so far along by the time the wedding comes, she dropped out. Things also didn't end so well between us as she wasn't being honest with me about her situation. I understand that she has her own life to live.

Now, I am without a MOH. I have three bridesmaids - 1 being a good friend from college, 1 being my fiance's sister in law (future sister is law) and 1 being my fiance's cousin. I have no sisters or cousins. My friend lives in another city 4 hours away and hasn't helped me much or stepped up since my MOH dropped. My future SIL has stepped up and has helped my mom and future MIL a lot with my bridal shower and she has planned my bachelorette party. I am not super close to her though. My fiance's cousin is working full time and also lives in another city 4 hours away and I should note I am also not super close to her either.

I was thinking of asking my friend to be a MOH but I didn't want to offend her as I originally did not ask her. She also hasn't stepped up much since my MOH dropped out. So I was thinking of asking a family member. I was thinking of asking my future SIL since she has done so much but I am not all that close to her.

My grandmom found out about my situation and wants to be a bridesmaid. Instead of making her a bridesmaid, I was thinking of making her my Matron of Honor but I am not sure about that. My grandmom can get a little feisty and unpredictable.

So ladies... I need your advice. What would you do in my situation? I don't want to just ask someone to be my MOH to fill a position. I am obviously all over the place about this situation but I just have no idea what to do as I was completely blindsided by this and my MOH was my best friend. I also do not want to offend anyone.

MIA bridesmaid? UPDATE in thread

bride2b71614 — Sun, 16 Aug 2015 05:40:11 +0000

So I'm 56 days away from the wedding! I'm really excited but also somewhat concerned. I've been in contact with my bridal party and four out of the five have been pretty responsive, which is really awesome (as in saying we ordered the dress, we've booked the hotel, etc.). But one bridesmaid is MIA. She attends college out of state, and I've heard nothing from her. She hasn't indicated if she bought plane tickets, or even if she's ordered a dress. The girls have their own thread and my MOH has informed me that she's been unresponsive. I have tried to contact her via texts, email, phone calls, Facebook messaging, no response. I even asked her best friend if she's heard from her, and she said no. I'm concerned that something is really wrong, and I'm not sure what to do at this point? I am worried about her. If something is wrong, I would like to know so that I can be a supportive friend. I would hate to continue to contact her, but we are getting down to the nitty gritty, and I would rather know if she wants to be in the bridal party or attend as a guest if things are too overwhelming. Has anyone been in this position? What did you do? What would you do in this situation?

Pretty Plum Sugar Robes for Bridesmaid gifts?

[Deleted User] — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:58:04 +0000

Hi all,

I'm considering purchasing robes for my bridesmaids from Pretty Plum Sugar, but the material they use is Cotton Voile, which I'm worried is going to be very sheer. Does anyone have experience with these robes and did they have problems? Or is there another company you would recommend?

Thanks!

2 year old

knottie93f96a98e60cf4f2 — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 17:44:10 +0000

Has anyone had in their wedding/see at a wedding a 2 year old flower girl with experiences to share? Does it ever go well? I should have thought of this before, but recently saw a lot of people advising against this. I mean, one of my earliest memories is crying at my Papas wedding because when everyone turned to see the bride coming down the aisle, and saw me- 3yr old flower girl i panicked. Oops. Anywho.. my daughter will be the flower girl in my friends wedding in 2 months. (And my flower girl in about a year). She just turned 2- but she speaks in complete sentences and typically takes directions really well. I didn't think she might be too young until i saw it here. Some factors i think might help our situation. -every Sunday she walks up and down the aisle of the church that my FMIL attends for their children's "mission march" collecting money for saint jude's. It's the same church this wedding will be in. ---oh except i hope she doesn't try to get money from people hahaha -i will be MOH and my FI is BM so mommy and daddy will be standing up there when it's her time to walk. -I've talked to my friend and she will totally not care if my daughter does something crazy or messes up. *phew* What do you all think? Got any 2 year old in the wedding party stories? Anyone know of a two year old NOT wreaking havoc during a wedding? Lol

Bridesmaid in a suit???

cwatne — Wed, 12 Aug 2015 19:19:42 +0000

My fiance and I are going to have two people of each gender on either side of the aisle, (so I'll have two girls and two guys, and so will he), because it just worked out that he has two close female friends and I have two close male cousins. We're hoping for a non-traditional wedding with a nod to tradition, so this is perfect for us.

We also decided that I would have the say on what the ladies wear. I had planned on putting them all in matching navy blue dresses, but decided that for their pocketbooks' and my sanity's sake that I'll just let them all chose their own dress as long as it's dark blue or navy and floor length. The guys will all be in matching grey suits.

One of my fiance's female attendants would prefer to wear a pantsuit to a dress. I want her to be comfortable, and I'm non-traditional enough that I'm considering letting her do it. I'm totally okay with a non-perfectly-matching bridal party as long as all the colors and everything work alright together, but I'm worried that having five people in suits and three people in dresses would make it look funny.

So my question: do you all think it would look okay to have her in a navy blue women's pant suit to match the rest of the ladies' navy dresses? She would still walk down the aisle arm-in-arm with a man in a grey suit.

Thanks!!

And PS, she's totally willing to wear the dress, but I'm a lot more worried about everyone having a good time than I am about exactly what everyone is wearing. The more casual and fun my wedding is, the better. And my photographer is amazing so she'll make the photos look great no matter what!!!

Is it rude to add a bridesmaid 2 months after the others were asked?

Knottie29192760 — Fri, 14 Aug 2015 17:48:13 +0000

I asked my 4 closest friends to be in my bridal party 2 months ago. My fiance has been putting off asking his guys, but has had them picked out since we got engaged. Recently, we ran into his friend's girlfriend at a party. She mentioned he'll upset if he were to be an usher... Awkward! We had planned to ask him to be an usher. :-(

Now, my fiance thinks that we should change our bridal party to have 5 people on each side. I have a couple friends I could choose from, but I feel like a complete jerk asking her so much later than the others. She might be hurt that she wasn't an original choice. Would it be best to leave things the way they are?

My MOH's opinion: "It's an honor to even be invited to a wedding. He's lucky to be a part of it. He'll get over being 'just' an usher."

Asking bridesmaids at different times

CaseyBoBasey — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 18:14:39 +0000

Hi everyone,

Been lurking for a few months and now I have a question. I know usually people ask their bridesmaids about 9-10 months out from the wedding, but my friend is leaving to go to grad school in England in mid-September. I want to ask her to be a bridesmaid in person, before she leaves. Should I ask my other friends around the same time? Is it ok to ask them in a few months? Or should I just call my friend in a few months and ask her over the phone while she's abroad? What are your opinions?

Thanks!