Wedding Party — The Knot Community

order of flower girl down the aisle

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 15:29:14 +0000

Does the flower girl go down the aisle first (before the BMs) or after the MOH and before the Bride?

Thanks!

MOH overly sensitive post

lessonlearnedinmay — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 01:50:26 +0000

Answer is yes, too sensitive. No need to have any more replies. :-)

Too Many People in the Wedding?

knottie10 — Tue, 02 Sep 2014 06:45:34 +0000

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if my situation is going to seem strange to some of you. I am Mexican and I am having a traditional Catholic wedding for the church. My dilemma is that I need a married couple to be my "padrinos de velacion" which essentially means these two people would sit with my husband-to-be in the altar. My friends have used their maid of honor and husband to play this role, but I will not.

I want to have a maid of honor and a matron of honor. My sister and my best friend of 17 years. My best friend is married, but since her husband and my fiance are not great friends, he is not in the wedding.

This would imply that I would have the first couple sit in the altar with me in the church, and on top of that I essentially have 2 maids of honor. Do you think that it is too confusing? Is it too many people?

The first couple's only role would be in the church, nothing else. They would wear whatever they want. My maid and matron of honor would do the traditional duties and wear the dresses with the wedding colors. I also have more bridesmaids, but those I'm not worried about.

On one hand I'm thinking it's my wedding and nothing is set in stone. But does this sound strange to anyone else?

I hope someone can provide me some input, because I'm not sure if this is too much. I don't know what to do.

Wedding Host/Hostess

Blue_Bird — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 17:58:21 +0000

Reading so much lately about personal attendants and hostesses, I decided to look this up.

http://www.ehow.com/list_6397954_duties-hostess-reception.html

My jaw was pretty much on the floor the whole time I read this. I just about lost consciouslness when I saw that the "resource" for this article was none other than The Knot.

Who started this madness? These poor "guests" can't even enjoy the ceremony, much less the reception. If you need a wedding coordinator that badly, why not budget for it rather than turning your GUEST into a servant?

Help! Downsizing!

robinettea — Mon, 01 Sep 2014 13:22:07 +0000

My fiance and I have a rather large wedding planned for my grandfather's birthday in May of 2015. I have always wanted a small, simple wedding and always assumed he wanted something bigger. Somehow, our wedding turned into 250+ guests, etc. We both realized it isn't what we want. Instead, we would rather move the wedding date up. We have been together almost 9 years. We are ready. So my question(s) are: (1) How do I properly announce to my family that we have decided not to celebrate our day on my Grandfather's birthday and (2) How do we tell our wedding party that we have downsized and have decided on no bridesmaids/groomsmen (All bridesmaids have been formerly asked). Thank you! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! #inabind

Bridal Party Age...

brittany8788 — Sat, 30 Aug 2014 11:30:29 +0000

Let me start by saying - don't pick your wedding party too soon! Back when we got engaged I had every intention of having 3 Bridesmaids and 2 Junior Bridesmaids on my side, with 4 Groomsmen on his. I was planing to have everyone pair up, except my brother (one of the groomsmen) would walk both Junior Bridesmaids down the aisle - they're our cousin (12) and stepsister (11) - so I figured the age gap would be fine. Well, things didn't work out with one of the girls I was going to have as a Bridesmaid (thank goodness I hadn't asked her when our friendship went haywire), so I now have two adult Bridesmaids and two Junior Bridesmaids. Is it totally weird that the guys have to walk with young girls or am I over thinking this?

Twin sister issues.

thelovelylindsey — Tue, 26 Aug 2014 20:24:56 +0000

I'm getting married on September 5th 2015. over a year away. But when I talked to my twin sister about the date she became very upset because she is a teacher and school starts that week. She is my moh and she is most upset because she can't take that week off to help. I told her over and over again that it was ok I don't expect my brides maids to take the week off. I told her that I didn't take the week of her wedding off but nothing I say seems to help. Has anyone else had this issue and if so how did you handle it?

Sound-off: Attendants or Bridesmaids?

[Deleted User] — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 20:01:02 +0000

Hey Knotties!

Did you have a close friend/family member as an attendant at your wedding instead of a bridesmaid? Have you ever been a wedding attendant?

Tell us what you think!

ETA: Clarifying-- In certain areas of the US it's tradition for brides to ask a close family member or friend to be their wedding attendant instead of having a bridesmaid, and they essentially act as a coordinator for the day.

Bridezilla?

naturebride canada — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:18:14 +0000

Ok so I was just the MOH in a friends wedding and had a horrible experience in my books, however wanted some feedback on whether or not I am being too sensitive. I have a 9 month old baby who is my world right now, and the bride has only seen my baby a handful of times, let alone formed any sort of a relationship with my daughter. Every time we talked it was about the wedding and nothing else. I found myself being resentful of this, especially as she included my daughter as a "honorary" flower girl, without even asking if that was ok! I think it is very fake of her to include my daughter as "prop" in her wedding when she hasn't even bothered to put in any time in getting to know her!! Ok so now some of the highlights: 1) Told all bridesmaids they couldn't have a braid in their hair as she was to have the only braid 2) Made all bridesmaids purchase long dresses, then changed her mind and had us all pay for alterations to have them shortened 3) Made her caterer go to a restaurant to sample the pulled pork so they could match the taste because the caterer's version was not "savory" enough 4) Was very vocal about FMIL's dress choice and made her family feel bad because the dress didn't match the wedding colours 5) Purchased 2 bottles of nail polish that all 6 bridesmaids had to share so that we could all have exactly matching toenails 6) Acted like an entitled you-know-what at her bachelorette party, waving her cup around for people to refill her drink and then not saying thank you (and other similar behaviour) 7) Yelling at and being rude to the photographer to the point where her mother was apologizing for her behaviour 8) Yelling at the florist for the bouquets being too small and the fact that there were roses in her bouquet (the flowers were quite lovely IMHO) 9) Snubbed me royally in her thank you speech despite me planning and footing the entire bill for a beautiful shower I threw for her, an awesome weekend bachelorette party in another town (which I footed most of the bill and planned), organized and paid for wedding day brunch and mimosas, helped with DIY crafts, setting up her entire venue, dress fittings etc. But most of all, I left my baby girl for 2 nights for the first time to attend her bachelorette party. I know she thinks I dropped the ball in completing my MOH duties I feel like this bride is rude, ungrateful and a bridezilla and am considering dropping this girl as a friend. I could tell that no one enjoyed being involved in this wedding as I did chat with the other bridesmaids. Am I being too sensitive?

Mom as MOH???

marleighkay7 — Tue, 04 Feb 2014 04:01:31 +0000

So as super cheasy as this sounds, my mom is my best friend. She's always been there for me and we are super close. I dont have very many female friends either. What do you think about the idea of my mom being my Matron of Honor?

Advice on Timeline of wedding day

Knottie20965786 — Tue, 06 May 2014 15:12:54 +0000

Hello!

This is my first post and.. I am hoping I posted it the right place !

Anyways, my boyfriend and I are planning our future wedding. (Don't judge!)

We have been together for 2 years and would like to have a wedding with his grandmother, who is turning 80 (the longest to live in her side of te family)

So we are just planning for now.

I want to have a Vietnamese wedding and tradition Western-culture wedding. However, I am not sure if I am giving enough time for photographs, and such. I usually get ready very quickly and for the Vietnamese wedding will simply put my hair in a bun, wear foundation, fake lashes, and eyeliner. For the wedding, create loose curls, smokey eyeshadow, fake lashes, and eyeliner, so I feel like it will be fairly quick.

Everything will be at the same place.

We are inviting 170 guests. 35 are my family (out of town, except for 7) and the rest are his who are local to where the event will be.

His parents are divorce so we would like to take seperate pictures and pictures with both his parents.

Would

9:00am	Get Ready/Makeup
10am-11pm	Vietnamese Wedding
11-11:30pm	Take pic with BM GM
11:30-12:30pm	Bride and Groom
1-3pm	Hair/make-up
3-4pm	Photography
4:15pm	Doors open/pre-ceremony
4:45pm	Invite time
5:00pm	Wedding Ceremony
5:00pm-6:30pm	Photography
6:00pm	Reception
6-7pm	Pictures/Cocktails
7:00pm	Reception
9pm

Thank you!

Bridesmaid Gift - which would you prefer?

arosboro — Thu, 14 Aug 2014 18:41:26 +0000

I'm going to purchase my bridesmaids earrings for their gift that they can wear on the day of the event and there after hopefully.

(They all have pierced ears).

I have two options as I'm trying to keep it affordable (<$100)

1) Blue diamond Stud with 10K white gold mounting

2) Blue diamond Stud with sterling silver mounting.

I personally know my ears react if I don't have at a minimum sterling silver in them.

Anyhow - would you rather ....

A) the 10K gold mounting with a smaller stone weight total?

the sterling silver mounting with a bigger stone weight total?

Trying to make a decision I'm just not sure what the girls would prefer.

Thank in advance for your input ladies.

bridesmaid gifts..

JenniferKyle906 — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 21:10:38 +0000

So I am giving my girls a pearl necklace and earring set to wear during the wedding and also cute flip flops for dancing! I feel like it is not enough though but I am running out of ideas. Any suggestions? Also I am extremely last minute (I work like crazy!) As my wedding is September 6th. And any ideas how make the packaging of the gifts cute?

BM trouble

kirby400 — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 16:26:32 +0000

Ok, ladies, I'm not sure what to do. I think I know some of the answers that are going to come up but I just want to get it out there. My BM is a childhood friend that lives about 2.5 hours away. I only have two attendants (a BM and a MOH). She has been pretty MIA for most of the wedding process, which I just chocked it up to her being busy. We've only spoken on the phone twice in the past 8 months and otherwise traded short emails re: dress options and wedding day/time.

The dilemma is that she said for the past two months that she'd come to my shower, hosted by my MOH. My MOH organized the whole thing and it was absolutely amazing. So, the night before my shower, the BM calls my MOH to say she isn't coming because of 'work'. That's all she said. She told MOH that she'd call me. It's now three days later and I didn't receive a call, text, facebook message, anything. It makes me really sad because I wanted to share these experiences with her. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time along our friendship that she's been MIA.

I'm hurt that she couldn't even call me. She knew it wasn't a surprise shower. On another sad and a practical note, I'm worried that she'll bail on the wedding.

Sparkler Questions

meelkin — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 15:54:39 +0000

Hi guys! I was wondering if anyone's done something with sparklers that hasn't been a send off? We are hoping in a shuttle with most of our guests and our photographer will already be gone by the end! Has anyone done a sparkler welcome or something?

Answered

hicksey1 — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 15:51:40 +0000

I disapprove of the marriage - should I be a bridesmaid?

[Deleted User] — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 19:48:12 +0000

One of my best friends recently became engaged to a horrible man. He is not nice to her and not nice to her 4 year-old son. I have voiced my concerns to her, which she heard but is still planning to go on with the wedding. I realize that this is her choice and I will respect that, but should I be a bridesmaid at a wedding that I don't agree with? My options are:

A) Be a bridesmaid under the knowledge that I am being supportive of HER and her needs as a bride. This would be easy enough, although because he is a very controlling groom, I know I will have to personally deal with him during the planning/coordinating processes of the wedding.

Decline, and explain that I don't feel right about standing up as a legal witness to something that I very much don't approve of. While I would still like to attend the wedding, and continue to keep her as a friend, I'm am worried she will take this personally and end our friendship.

Thoughts!?

bachelorette party advice

Mrsespo — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:23:46 +0000

So my sister and I are maids of honors in our other sisters wedding. We want to do limo, dinner and club for her bachelorette. but how do we word it so people know they have to bring money to pay because we are certainly not paying for these girls...We want to be able to tell them how much $$ to bring so there is no question that night about who is paying for what...advice please!! we live in boston so everything is pricey and want it to be a classy fun night...thanks!!

Wedding Party Couple Broke Up

AshleyP42 — Tue, 19 Aug 2014 07:14:11 +0000

One of my bridesmaids was dating one of the Best Man for about 3 years. They are both GREAT people but they just weren't compatible and broke up several months ago. She is devastated, understandably. I've tried to be there for her but she flakes on me whenever we have plans and basically dropped me even though she's still friendly with other mutual friends. I gave her the option to back out at one point- I told her I would completely understand and still consider her a great friend, etc. She insisted she'd be fine and that she really wanted to be a part of it.

Over the past month, I found out she's been complaining about everything regarding my wedding (suddenly the BM dress she liked she now hates), etc. She also had a meltdown at my birthday because he was there, she's planning on leaving my shower after helping to set up (it's co-ed and he will be there), and is even planning on leaving the reception pretty much right after dinner to avoid him. I'm worried about her, I really am. I try to talk to her and be there for her but it's like she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. And yes, I'm worried about the wedding itself too. How can I not be? She can't handle being in the same house as him but says she can get through the ceremony, pictures, dinner, etc? She tends to drink a lot as well, and over-use her anxiety meds, and I'm worried she'll accidentally make herself seriously sick off it, trying to self-medicate for the night... She's also talked a lot of crap about him on Facebook, which he and all our mutual friends can see. I know it's a defense mechanism but that makes things really awkward for the wedding too, especially since he's the Best Man, my fiance's best friend. She even announced she was selling everything he ever gave her- she explicitly mentioned selling a "charm bracelet from Kay's." Maybe it's a coincidence she chose that ONE thing to point out but we used to talk about how cute it was that he bought that for her while at Kay's with my fiance as he bought my engagement ring...

Anyway, I don't want to ask her to step down but I really think it would be in both her best interest, and mine. It's painfully obvious she doesn't want (or just can't handle) being involved and she's only sticking with it to not let me down. I'm just not sure how to convince her to just be honest (and back out as a result), without making her feel worse than she already does...

Thanks in advance for any advice...

Bridesmaid for the first time.

bridesmaidlongisland — Tue, 19 Aug 2014 18:16:06 +0000

Hi all , I'm new to this site and a Bridesmaid for the first time. It is my family's member Katie's wedding and the BP is 10 girls. Katie has asked each of us to do something different and she asked me to help her pick a dress , venue and etc. all of which I'm happy to help. Just a bit worried about the whole money situation. She wants to have a lavish Bachelorette Party that will include flights , hotels and etc. probably in Vegas or somewhere very far from where we live. It all seems a little excessive to me. However , I have no idea how any of this works. What duties do I have as a Bridesmaid? What must and must I not attend? I know each wedding is different , just trying to find out what else to expect and the money involved. Thank you girls so much.

"Aunt of the Bride"

muzeqdiva — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 22:43:08 +0000

I need some insight,

My Mom passed a little over a year ago. Since then, my Aunt (Mom's sister) has stepped in to help me through the wedding process from the night I got engaged! I want her to have some sort of "title" to honor her stepping in and standing by my side during the loss of my Mom (her sister) and the wedding planning process...

The only way I can say it is calling her the "Aunt of Honor" or "Aunt of the Bride" ...I don't know...what do you think?

Maid of Honor Not Filling her shoes?

MoonMama22 — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 21:48:27 +0000

So, I'm really considering firing my maid of honor. I would still like her to be a bridesmaid but im not sure how to go about this. When i told her i was getting married and starting to plan a wedding she was very excited for me and when i asked how she felt about possibly being the maid of honor all she said was, " i guess, if you want me to". When i called her back saying i thought it would be better if she would be a bridesmaid because i dint think she seemed excited or up to the task and that may be better suited for her she suddenly was like oh i am so excited and would love to be your maid of honor! However sense then, I've only gotten her to come hangout twice and its been two months. She will barely talk about wedding stuff and keeps making empty promises to help me. Shes always terribly busy and she does live 45 minutes away. Shes already told me that she looked it up online and that she doesn't need to plan or help with the wedding shower. I had already told her when she said she wanted to be my maid of honor that, that would be expected of her as well as the bachelorette party, a speech at the wedding, and helping me with picking things out like the venue, dresses, cake, etc. She doesn't have a job right now, and when i asked her what she was thinking about doing for the bachelorette party she said she wasn't sure. I suggested getting a limo and just going to a bar or maybe a trip to instead to Florida or California. Due to her lack of funds she told me a limo would be out of the question, let alone going out of state(Michigan). Lately I've been dropping hints of, maybe it would easier if you were a bridesmaid sense you live far, are pretty busy right now, and don't have the budget for a lot of things. She didn't seem to get any of my hints and keeps responding with its okay, well figure it out. I want this to be a big thing, I mean you (hopefully) only get married once. I don't feel comfortable coming out and saying "hey, your not cutting it, your fired" but ive said it so many ways and suggestions and hints that I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to loose her as a friend, or hurt her feelings but i just think that she cant handle this and my party might end up being on 9 mile in some dump. She seems to try to get out of as many responsibilities as possible, and its all looking a little overwhelming to me because for everything she doesn't want to do, that means more work for me, and that's getting hard because i have a 11 month old at home, collage classes still, a birthday party to plan and i just cant do it all. I just need someone who will help me plan things and be able to come and do things as least once a week but i can only get her out like twice or once a month if im lucky and when she does come, nothing gets done. Again, I've told her whats expected of her, but she still doesn't seem to understand what that means. Mind you none of my friends have gotten married and they're all pretty young, but i think i have a newer friend who would be much better at the task. Originally i dint ask her because i was worried my other friend would take offense sense we've been friends longer, but the fact that she didn't even seem excited has me worried! HELP! HELP! HELP!!

Advice Needed

Shayana — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 14:13:28 +0000

My fiance' doesn't seem to want any groomsmen he said he is fine with it being just the two of us. However, I'm contemplating whether I need a bridesmaid to help me with the wedding planning, hold my boutique, hold my dress train, hold the rings, etc. Do I need a go to girl? Or has anyone been married without a bridal party? How did you organize everything without a bridal party? I want at least one bridesmaid because there is one friend in particular that is eager to help me plan my wedding and she just got married so I know she can be helpful and supportive. She even offered to host my bridal shower which I completely forgot about! I just feel like if I include her I will be obligated to include my SIL and one of my bossy friend's who demanded I make her a MOH so she can boss the bridal party around or she will just sit and watch because she refuses to be a bridesmaid. I don't know why she feels so strongly about the title when we have completely opposite taste. I'm very girly and she is a tomboy and she said she would boss my bridal party around and have them wear gauchos and sneakers......not sure if she was joking but I wasn't laughing at all. I don't want to offer someone something they demanded to have but don't deserve.

I feel like no matter what I do there will be some drama with or without help from a bridal party. I have no idea what to do but I can see this getting out of hand and with every bridesmaid a groomsmen added as well, which my fiance' doesn't want even when one of the groomsmen is his best friend. How can I help us both get what we want and avoid the drama?

Reused bridesmaid dresses…tacky or not?

Knottie06367585 — Wed, 06 Aug 2014 20:06:11 +0000

So this year, 3 of my bridesmaid and myself were part of the House Party for our friend's wedding. We all wore the same dress for the wedding but because we were not in the main wedding party, we weren't in too many pictures. I am now planning my wedding for next year and was thinking that we could reuse the same dresses so that my friends didn't have to spend another $200+ on a new dress. My dress can be worn by another bridesmaid and then we would just have to get one other girl the same dress. I would obviously check with the bride from the previous wedding as well as my maids to see how they feel about this. My question is, is this tacky or a great way to reuse a dress and save my friends some moola?

Groomsman Drama

emilycorazon — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 04:44:12 +0000

This post is mainly to vent, but I'm also interested to see if anyone out there has any constructive ideas about what to do.

One of our groomsmen, J, has been my FI's friend since early childhood. J is basically my FI's little brother-- they grew up across the street from each other and played sports together through high school. Since then, they've grown apart somewhat, but I know the relationship is really important to my FI. So, J was asked to be a groomsmen. The FI and I decided to have our bachelor/bachelorette parties together, as a big pre-wedding bash, since a lot of our friends are mutual, and since we had just finished a challenging long-distance time period in the relationship. Most of our friends totally got that this was a mixed-company kind of deal and not a straight-up bachelor or bachelorette party. Unfortunately, we did not set clear expectations with J about this. He proceeded to act like it was a bachelor party the entire weekend, attempting to force the FI to chug alcohol constantly, start never-ending drinking games, and find a microphone broadcast system (this was an event with about 15 people) to broadcast his voice loudly the entire weekend. Oh, there were also certain expectations he had about the women cooking and cleaning for him. Charming. When the FI tried to intervene, he would yell, "you're the bachelor, you don't get a say! you do what we say!" It was absurd. I made it clear that this was not how I wanted to spend my weekend, and my friends and I just found other space to occupy and enjoy ourselves (we were on a farm with lots of space, so luckily this was possible).

It's a few weeks after the party, which, while frustrating mainly due to J's behavior, ended up being a good time overall. The FI calls J up to debrief the bach weekend with him, share his feelings, and set some expectations about wedding behavior (this is the guy that ruined his older sister's wedding by giving a seriously offensive speech where he suggested she get an abortion). J accuses my FI of being "whipped," says he did nothing wrong, and also says he is seriously worried that he's not going to have fun at our wedding. The FI, to his credit, stays super calm the whole time, and says that it's more important that we celebrate our marriage without J's disruption than for J to have fun. He also asked J to email me and apologize for acting like the farm weekend was a bachelor party. Yeah, we'll see about that.

So, that was my vent. I guess my questions are, what the heck do I do? How do I not punch this guy in the face on my wedding day? I don't want to ask my fiance to kick him out of the wedding party. I mean, I wouldn't mind, but that should be his decision, not mine. But how do I cope with him being in our wedding party? Thanks for your insights!

One BM is out, another is on the fence. HELP!

mrswolverine — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 03:12:02 +0000

Serious situation here. My best friend of 17 years decided to bow out on me through a text message less than 3 months before my wedding. She got a job in L.A. and doesn't think she'll be able to make it, but expected me to save her a spot just in case she can (I told her I couldn't play it by ear in hopes that she'd make it). The next day ANOTHER BM sent me a text saying she and her boyfriend (one of my fiance's groomsman) had broken up and wasn't sure if he'd still want her there. I told her we still wanted her to share our day with us, and she agreed, but I'm terrified she'll change her mind last minute. All of my BMs have purchased their dresses (including the one who completely bowed out). My remaining BMs are my fiance's sisters. I am very hurt and stressed by this chain of events, and I'm not sure how to handle it. Any advice?

I want my BFF to be MOH but she's being a poor friend

Rukisa — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 14:43:20 +0000

I recently got engaged and my Fiance and I have been discussing the bridal party. Both of us are in a similar situation, our "Best friends," who we would like to be MOH and Best Man have been really flaky for months.

My friend "R" and I have been having some serious issues. She blows off plans with me to go hang out with her other friend, she ignores me during parties, never texts me, etc. About a month or two ago we discussed these issues, and she claims that she will work on it (and I will work on the things she brought up), but as of yet, I have not seen any advancement.

Unfortunately my Fiance has been having the similar issues with his friend "T". He'll try to call to chat and T never answers or calls back. T has taken up a new hobby with a bunch of new friends and seems to have left my poor Fiance in the dust. We haven't even gotten a chance to tell T that our engagement is official yet!

We both love and respect these people, and for the longest time have always wanted them by our sides when we go married, but now with how things are with both of them, we are at an impasse. I know both R and T will be upset if they don't get asked to be MOH and BM, but what are we to do if they are going to be so unreliable? Maybe they will come through once asked, but what if they continue to be poor friends throughout all the planning?

If we do ask them, and they don't pull through, is it rude to ask them to step down? We could maybe avoid all this and just have family in the wedding party, but our family is mainly men, there are not many women for the Bridal Party.

No BM's but still want my friends with me while I get ready

jackannlu — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 17:07:03 +0000

Me and my FI have decided not to have a wedding party, well at least not bridesmaids and groomsmen although we are considering flower girls and a ring bearer. However, I still want my closest friends with me while I'm getting ready. Anyone have any experience with something like this?

MoH/BM and duties.

laceykeo — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 11:05:37 +0000

I just want to check I've got this right... MoH duties = Bride asks MoH what sort of budget she has for a dress. MoH gives a max figure. Bride and MoH agree on a dress that works with the brides vision, and most importantly, makes MoH feel great. MoH shows up (mostly sober) at the agreed time on the day of the wedding, walks down the aisle at the appropriate time, stands with the bride, and smiles for pictures. BM duties = Bride asks each BM individually what sort of budget she has for a dress. BMs give a max figure. Bride and BMs agree on a dress that works with the brides vision, and most importantly, makes BMs feel great. (Can be the same dress, or not). BMs show up (mostly sober) at the agreed time on the day of the wedding, walk down the aisle at the appropriate time, stand with the bride, and smile for pictures. Even then, this is not strictly true, I guess... BM has an emergency the day before the wedding and can't make it on time, she'll be there for the reception if she can make it in time, maybe. Still a BM. Flying out for a DW, one BMs suitcase gets put on the wrong flight and ends up on the opposite side of the world. Still a BM. Just turn up in whatever clothes you have/can get. BMs are the girls you are closest to. People you can't imagine not having in your life, regardless of how often you do/not get to see/speak with each other. MoH is the person you absolutely love most in the world (outside of family). That sound about right?

What to do?

Mochadia — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 02:28:36 +0000

I want to fire two of my three bridesmaids. I'm not sure if I should, if I am over-reacting, etc. I asked my bridesmaids to be in my wedding party over a year ago and they were overjoyed. They were extremely helpful, adding ideas, just being happy that I am getting married. In the winter time, I asked them all over for a meeting, which they all came, to help me narrow down the vision and colors. Next, came their bridesmaids dresses, which they all bought and loved, which was really economical and they all said they would wear it again. After they purchased their dresses, we had another get together to accessorize them in the spring. In the summer I asked everyone to come to my house to help make bouquets, which only 4 had to made and one of my bridesmaids told me 1 hour into it that she would not be able to make it because her husband had not come back and she was with their kids. This surprised me because she RSVPed to this over a month ago and knew it was coming. The same bridesmaid also helped me pick out my dress, but flaked out on me with the fitting, which she put in her phone when I ordered my dress.

So, not only have I had a flaky bridesmaid, I have also been shunned by them too apparently. Besides be asking for help and planning for them to come to my house, my two problem bridesmaids have not bother to ask how things are going, if I need help, or even to come a visit. Now we are all mothers and we all have busy lives, but for the two problem bridesmaids, they have not called or anything in the past 3 months at least, and we all live relatively close to each other.

I am getting to the point that I would like for them to gracefully bow out of my wedding. They have not been a friend in the past months.

What would you do in this situation when I am getting married in two months? What would you say?