Wedding Party — The Knot Community

Help with Wedding Party

chamsbabe — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 17:32:24 +0000

This is my second marriage, but first wedding. Together my fiance and I have 5 kids. Our girls are the same age and so are our boys. Therefore, I will have 2 flowers girls (oour girls) and 2 ringbearers (our boys). I have a 13 year old daughter and I was going to make her my Junior bridesmaid. I have one sister who is close to me who will be my other bridesmaid. However, my best friend who lives far away has been helping me plan since day 1, she is my right hand girl and I want her to by my MOH. How do I handle that with my sister since we are so close? My sister is single but in the military and has a very busy life, not alot of time to help me plan and she also has an upcoming surgery that will limit her time to be involved. She desires to help me too, but I don't know what to do!!! Any advice! I

Wedding Part Gifts???

hbarry2428 — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 01:12:35 +0000

i have not had a traditional wedding before, however, I have been married before. I have only had a vagas and a courthouse wedding. So this wedding planning is all new to me. I am wondering if I am paying for it all on a extreme budget so I do not have a lot of money...if I am paying for the dresses and suits and everything else in between do I need to buy gifts for my wedding party too? Especially since I have planned it all myself with no help. Considering I am living paycheck to paycheck I am having to save the money to do it to begin with. I dont know what to do.

BM gift

bridalmarch — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 15:12:35 +0000

I have ideas for my bridesmaids gifts but haven't done my shopping yet. I took the very good advice of the ladies here and I'm doing gifts tailored to each girl. For my cousin, I'd planned on some barware, a new drink recipe book, and some mini bottles. She just shared with me last week that she's going off BC and "whatever happens, happens". I couldn't be happier for her and her DH, but now I'm not sure this gift is appropriate. I'm getting married in two months, and since they aren't technically "trying", they just aren't preventing, I'm not sure if I should go with it still or decide on something else. I read somewhere that it takes about three months once you stop BC to conceive, but I conceived while on BC, so who knows...

Bridesmaid Dilemma: 2 of them HATE each other!

kpalmer1317 — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 23:11:29 +0000

I have 2 really great friends that I grew up with through school that I remain close with individually. When we were younger, we were all a great group of friends to hang out with. As the years have gone by, my 2 friends have grown apart from each other and have had their number of fights and differences between them. I want to ask both of them to be in my wedding, however, my biggest fear is that they will not remain civil with one another on my special day. It would mean the world to me if they both were there. Long story short, I am sending out personalized bridesmaids invites. Would it be inappropriate or rude to address my concern in a polite way to these 2 girls that I would love for them both to be in my wedding as long as they can remain civil with one another on my special day. Is that going overboard? Or should I not say anything at all and hope for the best? I feel as though if I lay things on the line from the start, then I don't have to feel bad saying "I warned you" later if things go bad.

Converse Shoes

[Deleted User] — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 17:46:54 +0000

My bridesmaids are wearing converse shoes, but I don't know what color. They are wearing different dresses in various shades of light to medium blue. I would preferrably like them to wear the same color shoe. Suggestions on what would look best. Thanks!

.

stevens23146 — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 05:13:27 +0000

Groomsman dropped out

AmberLynnMRN — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 03:16:16 +0000

My fiance asked his groomsman to be in our wedding right after we got engaged in January 2012. We have been communicating regularly and thought everything was fine. We sent out the wedding invitations recently since the wedding is March 23 and received the groomsman's response card today as a "no". On the back they wrote "We regretfully have to decline because we are going to another wedding that day". My fiance contacting him right away and he said he "forgot" that my fiance asked him to be in the wedding! FORGOT!! Now we are exactly 2 months away from the wedding and we are down one groomsman... as it is he already had a female attendant (which I am totally ok with) but he doesn't know who to ask.

Bad Day to be a bridesmiad......

soontobehanby — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 03:16:03 +0000

My MOH is getting married a month after I am. I was a bridesmaid. Today, she kicked me out and backed out of mine because I couldn't pay her TODAY for her bridesmaid dress that was over my budget that I found out about saturday. Boo.

xp MOH and best man gift etiquette ?

mary35699 — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 01:55:31 +0000

I am getting married in just over two months it is a very small and intimate wedding with only immediate family. I am having my sister as my MOH and my future husband has his brother as best man, these will be the only ones standing. I have a question on what the etiquette is for giving them a gift for standing up.

My understand and please correct me if I am wrong is that normally there is a gift given to the members of the wedding party to thank them for their time and any expenses they incurred to be there to support us on the day. Their expenses include tux for the groomsman and dresses for the bridesmaids. Am I right so far?

So we are paying for (almost) all the expensives. I have bought my sister a dress and jewelry, I will also pay for her hair and make-up. All she needs to supply is shoes which she already has, she has offered to pay for her dress but I have declined. We have also paid for the best mans tux and shoes, we were going to offer but he showed up and basically asked us outright to cover him.

Now when we first started planning I spoke with my future husband about what we could get them as a thank you. That's why I originally started looking for jewelry for my sister, but I got it cheap on sale along with her dress so right now I have spent half as much on her as I did on renting the tux. I do expect that by the time the hair/make-up is done I will have spent about the same on MOH and best man.

Now assuming my understanding about the customary gift is correct, would you still buy a gift for each of them and if so how much would you spend? Thanks.

Edit

I don't know if this will play into your responses but every guest (except children) will be given the following favors. A bottle of homemade wine with a personalized label (Matthew and Mary and the date), package of playing cards with a personalized label (Matthew and Mary and the date), coach candle, and a super pretty rock candy stick, ribbon stick and a handwritten (hey I learned something from hanging out here) thank you note.

Asides from the best man having to go to the shop for two fittings for the tux, and my sister trying on dresses I brought to here and getting hair and make up done neither has any other obligations or duties other then show up the day of. There will be no shower, rehearsal, stag/ette, etc. Again I do not know if this will factor in or not.

Children in the wedding party

FurtureMrsMJG — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 01:50:34 +0000

My fiance has 3 neices and a nephew, all under the age of 10; his brother is the best man, and I prematurely asked his sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid along with the kids to be in the wedding. We have an uneven amount or people by adding his sister in law to the mix. Should I have the kids walk down the aisle in respective junior roles followed by their mother and all 5 go sit down with the grooms family? I know for a fact his sister-in-law will not leave the childeren alone with his parents (incapable of watching 4 children properly.) I do want their involvement, but do not want the distraction of 4 kids at the alter.

On a second note, I don't think it is appropriate to have children in a limo with other adults who will be toasting with alcohol, and making frequent stops to take pictures on location. How do I arrange travel from one location to another with out making anyone feel left out or like a "3rd wheel?"

HELP!!! I HAVE A MESS!!!

No MOH now. What to do?

LincolnElizabethH — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 18:41:22 +0000

My MOH has been having some personal issues for the last year. Along the way I have tried to be there for her and support her in any way she needs. We haven't seen much of each other since the summer because she says I stress her out. So I have backed off to try and let her deal with things. I told her not to worry about a shower or bachlorette party, as I do not need those things. All I wanted was for her to be there on my day. Today we got into an argument. She proceeded to tell me she does not want to be in my wedding because it is stressing her out and she said some very hurtful things to me. This was unfortunately via text message, and I found out she was copying all of the text messages I was sending her and she was sending them to a mutual friend. I told her that it really hurt my feelings and that if she did not want to be my MOH that was fine, and that she would not be invited to the wedding. I feel it would be too painful for me to see her sitting with my guests when she should have been party of my WP. I have 3 other bridesmaids, 2 friends and my sister. My question is, do I replace her as MOH with one of the other bridesmaids or do I just not have a MOH?

Bridesmaid Dilemma!!

krepine91 — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 20:46:15 +0000

Ok I have MOH and two bridesmaids. My MOH dont seem to understand that she actually has a serious job to do and NEVER gives me any opinions or seems to even want to listen to me. My second bridesmaid is getting married the year after I do and seems to only care about her stuff and never wants to come over and help me with my stuff. My third bridesmaid is super hard to ger a hold of, she never has her phone on her and her new husband (who for some reason hates me and my husband to be) doesnt know about her being in the wedding and wont tell him. How can I get my MOH to actually care to listen or give me opinions, how can I get my second bridesmaid to drop her wedding stuff for mine just for a couple hours, and finally should I consider replacing my third bridesmaid due to shes gonna lie to her husband and shes never around or can never get a hold of??
Signed by one crazy bride to be...

Different colored dresses

Cassie&Ryan — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 02:25:18 +0000

I am wondering if anyone has seen or had their bridesmaids in grey and the MOH on a purple/grey?

bridesmaids gifts

CnJ2014 — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 01:39:14 +0000

I am looking for some opinions on my gift idea for my bridesmaids.

I'm an artist, and so I was thinking of making paintings for each of my four bridesmaids. They include my two sisters, my FI's sister, and my best friend. I am considering giving them each a portrait of themselves. I thought it was more personal and would be a nice thing for them to have kind of as an heirloom, we have a painting of my grandmother when she was younger that I absolutely love, and that is what gave me the idea.

I was going to tell them ahead of time, so they could let me know if they would prefer a painting of something different, and also so we can take some photographs and pick one that they really love for me to paint. But, my mom thinks I should just find nice pictures of them on my own (like from facebook?) so it can be a surprise.

Do you guys think this is a nice idea for a bridesmaids gift? Should I ask for their input or make it a surprise?

Picking a wedding party...

caseyt17 — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 20:29:48 +0000

Our wedding in planned for September 7, 2013! I am so excited! We both originally wanted a small wedding. Which I still do. 100150 guests mainly our families! And 3 people in the wedding party for both sides. But he now what's all of his 1st cousins in the wedding. Which is 5 plus the best man which will be his dad. I wasn't wanting this big of a party. How should I handle this????

Help, with best man and groom

misskassie11 — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 15:54:45 +0000

My fiancE picked his best man and 3 months before the wedding he is thinking about kicking him out. They used to be best friends but then somethings changed. They started to talk more when my fiance asked him to be his best man and then after that they haven't talked and my fiance is thinking about kicking him out but isn't sure. How is the proper way of doing this? My fiance thought it might save their relationship but it hasn't. They don't even talk anymore.

New Niece

fancybunny — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 16:40:13 +0000

My sister is my maid of honor and she is having her first baby, a girl in march, she will be about 5 months for our wedding, I want her in the wedding but don't know how to fit her in. I thought about my sister not having a boquet and holding the baby? Or having my godson who will be my ring bearer maybe pull her in a wagon? I have a flower girl too that will be 2 1/2 by then. I don't know I need some ideas.

BM's Gift- Minimum amount?

sierraberry32 — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 06:47:25 +0000

So I love buying gifts and I have already picked up some hints on what each and every girl would like. However, I wanted to put a limit or a minimum amount on what I should spend on their gifts, to make sure everyone is treated fairly. Did any of you ladies have or had a money limit on your BM's gifts? If so what do you think is appropriate?

Note: Each girl is getting something different, I don't want to buy them all the same gift. That would make me feel as if I didn't want to put much thought into saying "thank you" to them.

how much is too much ?

leagri2813 — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 02:12:41 +0000

I feel like I am kinda over doing it for my WP, I am paying for their dresses, plane tickets for 2 of my bm's, paying $40- each- towards getting their hair done as well as giving them a gift. I did figure this into my budget when we orginally planned everything but after reading everyone's posts I see that I'm probably over doing it. My reason for doing this is I love these girls and they have been there for me through alot. Honestly they are as close as someone can be without being blood. I want them to be there by my side on my special day and not have to worry about a dress or anything. I just want them to show up and have fun.
There is still the shoes, jewelry, and the night out with the girls. Is it ok to tell the girls what color shoes and what type of jewelry I'd like and them pick it out in their own budget or should I just get it?

also 2 of my bm's have said they want to go out to a casino 2 nights before the wedding and just have a girls night out. We'd be getting a hotel and probably going to breakfast the next morning. I think its a great idea and I'm all for it. Should I have my bm's who brought it up do all the details, book the room, contact the rest of the wp and everyone cover themselves or should I go ahead and book the room but everyone cover their own bill?

I HATE asking anyone for anything and I think that's why I offered to pay for so much for them already. I think if they know now that they have to cover shoes, jewelry, and their own way for the night out they'd have more than enough time to save for it. my wedding isn't for awhile I know its not tradition to pick you wp til 6 months out but I have known these girls forever! how do I go about telling them about what they need to pay for without sounding like a b!tch?

dates

davesgurl05 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 20:27:01 +0000

I need an opinions.. I'm on a wedding budget so i'm trying to keep my list down.. no kids are invited... i invited both of our first cousins brothers and sisters neice and nephews... our paretns nd grandparents brothes and sisters and then second and third cousins we started picking and choosing only who were close too.... so i invited my cousin and his wife but not his step-daughter... I'm only inviting plus ones to anyone in a serious relationship.. my bridesmaid and sister is single and wants to bring the step daughter and i told her no and she's mad.. but my thinking is one if i wanted my step cousin there i would have invited her and two why would you invtie some to a family wedding they weren't invited too...

am i right or wrong in my thinking.. or should i let her bring her as her date?

Bridal Party gifts????

nikkiandtyler2013 — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 17:28:48 +0000

I have 6 ppl in my bridal party, is there a certain amount I am supposed to spend on each of their gifts, depending on how much they pay for their dress/shoes? Or is there just an average amount? What have you spent? I don't want to over spend or underspend...Any help would be much appreciated! I love my friends so I want them to know it without going super broke:)

I'm doing it wrong...again

bridalmarch — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 01:32:04 +0000

I'm not a detail person. I get overwhelmed by them and I like to look at the big picture. Unfortunately, wedding planning is ALL.ABOUT.DETAILS. Especially two months out. So, a few questions about the processional:

We have a daughter. She will be 20 months when we get married. She is full of spirit, sass, and wiggles. The only part we really wanted her to play in the wedding was walking FI down the aisle, and then she will sit with FI's parents for the ceremony. That's also about all we think she'll handle appropriately. There are no other children in the wedding party

We have an uneven party (horrors!) so one BM will walk with two GM

We're getting married in a Catholic ceremony

This is the order we wanted:

Priests

FI and daughter

BM and GM x6

MOH and BM

Me and my parents

Now Google tells me I'm doing it wrong, and that the priests, FI, and the BM should already be on the alter.

Does that mean my MOH has to walk alone? I really don't think she'd like that - she's a bit shy. She's our daughter's godmother and the BM is godfather so they already know and like each other and I think she'd prefer to walk with him.

Who will walk DD down if FI is already up there? I know this isn't a common issue in Catholic weddings, but it was something FI was looking forward to. He thinks he can walk him and someday he'll walk her.

FI has two (widowed) grandmothers, I have two (widowed) grandfathers, although one is remarried. Do our grandparents process? Does someone need to escort them? The grandmothers are both in pretty good health, but both my grandfathers and my grandfathers wife may need some help. Who would do that? Do they need to be listed in the program? Do they need to come to the rehearsal?

I'm so frazzled. I'm facepalming myself and suggesting elopement.

MOH and Bridesmaids GIfts?!?! Is this okay?

clem2011 — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 18:28:39 +0000

First off - I wanted them all to wear the same necklace for the wedding, but a lot of my maids are astill in school so I am buying the necklaces for them - when can I give them to them to be clear that its a gift in the sense that they keep them, but its not THEIR MOH/BM gift? I wanted to be as budget friendly as possible so they did have to buy their dresses ($79 at DB) but can wear any grey/silver/pewter shoes, can do their own hair/makeup if they want, etc.

I'm one of those people that has a hard time figuring out what to get people, even my own sister. I thought I would make it a little easier on my self and get them a whole bunch of little things. I got them each a bag with their names embroidered on them. I was going to put essentials for the wedding day in them along with some other personalized things. I.E. Water bottles, granola bars for between getting ready and the ceremony (its at 2pm), fans in case its hoti n the church (August Wedding), mini-compacts, some makeup remover, basic stuff. Then I was going to make each girl a two-sided frame with one side an originial picture of near when we had first met and then the back would be blank and I would send them a nice wedding picture of Me and that BM.

I also like to trace/paint logos (huge sports fan) so I'm making them all handpainted plaques that they can hang on their walls or not (depending).

Should I add something else to the gift bag thats not wedding related...I know that some of them like wine, but my MOH is my 19 year old sister (oh the dilemmas for bachelorette - stupid bar rules)

Any thoughts are appreciated.

Angry Friends Who Think They Should Be Bridesmaids - Please Help!

anni1987 — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 14:29:01 +0000

Problem solved - thanks anyway!

"Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??

MelissaJasonWedding13 — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:56:05 +0000

Problem Solved. We've decided to have my FI's sister's stand up on his side and my other 2 girls with me.

Good luck to you all. I truly hope you get the wedding you a dreaming of.

Did all your bridesmaids try on the dress before ordering?

amalama — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 00:03:57 +0000

I am having a hard time finding anywhere besides David's Bridal that has dresses over size 12 to try on in store. I am letting them pick their own dresses (we are looking at the Alfred Sung line but I would be open to something else if it came in the right color). I have called 6 stores today and all say that they have one or two dresses in size 14 but the rest of their samples are smaller (mostly size 8). We probably need size 16. They said that is pretty much the case for all of their designers.

So now I am stuck. David's Bridal is not ideal because the color was not right and even in the closest wrong color my fiance's sisters (standing on his side) only had 3 dresses to choose from. So is it okay to just have them pick from a picture? I feel awful but I don't know what else to do to be fair to everyone.

low bduget wedding. Advice!

crosales50 — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 19:58:08 +0000

We cant afford much of a wedding. Any advice to save lots of money? We are already having it in my fiances parents backyard.

BRIDE TO BRIDE PLEASE

MeganRusticBarn — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 02:32:32 +0000

Hi, I know these things are annoying but if you can please help a bride out and take one second and like our picture. We are in a contest to win a wedding cake. As you know, wedding cakes are not cheap!! please Please PLEASE help me out!!! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151197444481643&set=a.10151186477081643.451520.169780861642&type=3&theater

Maid of honor and bridesmaids gifts?! HELP!

Shopaholic42488 — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 22:44:12 +0000

ok, so i am getting married June 23, 2013. I was thinking of giving them each a personalixed bag, but have no idea what to put in it?1 Any ideas much appreciated!

Becky

Cute ideas for asking bridesmaids?

CourtAA — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 02:01:36 +0000

Hello!

I want to ask my girls in some kind of special (and inexpensive) way to be my bridesmaids.

Anyone have any good tips?

Also, what's a good number to have? 5 guys & 5 girl?

Thanks!