Over time it was never really brought up, however I always remembered what she said and figured since my Aunt and I were close I would formally ask her.  She accepted, but never really wanted to be bothered with wedding things so I just ignored it and stopped asking her opinions on things wedding related.  

I had finally chosen the bridesmaid dresses after I had talked with each bridesmaid about their budget, and most were excited when I sent the group text but my MOH never responded.  Instead I received a phone call from my grandmother yelling at me about how I chose a way too expensive dress my MOH couldn't afford and I need to change the dresses "now".  I let her know I was not going to change the dresses and no one had an issue with them.  Long story short I texted my Aunt/MOH and let her know that I want her in my wedding and I would pay for her BM dress ( I didn't word it like that, but you get the point), still no response.

During the pre-election her husband a hard core republican started posting non-stop Romney posts, I just ignored it, no big deal.  I posted one thing about Obama and how I supported him, and her husband started calling me names, saying I was a stupid hippy and a dumb ass. Okay, fine I ignored it again.  Then, all of a sudden my Aunt who I had been super close with for years turned into a I'm going to shove my beliefs in your face and if you're not republican you suck type of person, which I thought was weird but I figured she wanted to stand by her husband and I can respect that.  

Here is where she drops out...

I was talking to my grandmother on the phone and was I told her about my MOHs husband calling me names in a nonchalant way.  Next thing I know my phone is blowing up from my aunt and her husband telling me I'm a taddle tail and continue with the name calling, I only responded to my aunt after she said she was out of the wedding.  That hurt my feelings more than any name calling because we were brought up as sisters, we lived in the same house, we were really close.  Now I don't even know who she is, and I don't want to put the blame on her husband but I feel like a large part of it is because of him.  Now I'm scared they wont let their 3 year old daughter be my flower girl ( she is my world.) So that's pretty upsetting.

All and all I just don't know what to do, I want to talk it out with her she is my family but I just don't know how.  I really hope she had a better reason to remove herself from the wedding then politics or her husbands influence.  

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! 

 

For example, my MOH (who is my sister) will be getting earring made from our grandmother's pearl necklace. They are not to be worn in the wedding since they wouldn't match, but I know she would appreciate having something else of my grandmother's. My friend who loves to cook will be getting cookbooks from our favorite blogger that I know she wouldn't splurge on for herself. The friend that I exchange long letters with will be getting personalized stationary that I designed for her, etc. 

I would love any feedback since I consider the gift part very important. Although I am trying to spend around the same amount on each (with the exception of my sister), do you think it will matter if the gifts are thoughtful? I am a bit stuck with one BM who I am not as close to as I once was, so any more general but thoughtful ideas would be incredibly welcome, too.

I have a gofundme page where you can donate money if you can. Anything is appreciated and I will give small gifts in return. I know you don't have to but if you can you will make this man very very happy!! :) 

Thank you so much for your time and God Bless!

Anyway, so my FI and I discussed it for a few days and I asked him if he though his sister's would even want to be BMs if I asked.  He thought they would.

Anyway, so during the days while we were still thinking about having five, he actually called the oldest of his two sisters and told her that I was considering asking her to be a bridesmaid to see if she would want to.  Apparently, his sister said that she certainly hadn't expected that but if I asked, she would love it.

When my FI told me he'd asked, I was a little taken aback but oh well.

I will meet this sister for the first time at the wedding and my FI asked her to sit at the guest book table if she wanted and she said yes.  I'm not sure if I should say anything to her about not being a bridesmaid.  I don't know if she will bring it up or not.  I kind of doubt it because I have chatted with her on the phone and heard my FI's end of phone conversations with her and I'm pretty sure she's not the type to be petty and I'm sure that we'll become pretty good friends.

I'm thinking that since I never talked about it with her, the best thing to do is pretend that the conversation between her and my FI never happened and just never mention it.  What do you all think?

I realize having an uneven party isn't the end of the world, but I had everything planned for an even number. I'd like to ask another of FI's cousins to step in, but I don't know if that would be disrepectful to the first cousin who can't make it. I also don't know if a month will be enough time for the other cousin to get fitted for his tux and such.

Thanks for the advice & for letting me vent!

So my point is, I did find a couple nice dresses in the right color but they're a lot more than I was planning on asking the girls to spend. Most BM dresses I have purchased in the past were all in the $160-$180 range. But the dresses I actualIy liked today are between $200-260. The one I loved is $375. 

I had my sister and MOH with me today and I asked them both to tell me honestlyif they thought the $260 one would be too much, and they both said, "We agreed to be in your wedding, so we agreed to buy a dress, Whatever you fall in love with, we'll make it work.

But I'm just concerned about my other BM's, I really really don't know them to say I'm a selfish brat for picking more expensive dresses. I know times are hard for everyone but I am not terribly close with there other girls (future SIL and FI's best friend) and I don't want to upset and stress them out. 

Any advice?

I have this friend.  She and I used to be best friends in middle school, and she formed a special relationship with my parents during that time.  She moved across the country a couple years ago, and now I only really talk to her about once a year.  My current best friend and I met because we are both mutual friends of hers.  Best friend talks with her much more frequently.  I could include a bunch of other details, but they really don't matter.  Bottom line is that while my best friend is one of my bridesmaids, this girl is not.  She actually didn't even cross my mind in the list of choices.  As soon as I got engaged, she decided that if my best friend was in the bridal party, then of course she was going to be one.  She called my best friend and mentioned repeatedly how she couldn't imagine not being chosen.  Well, she found out through the grapevine that she was not a bridesmaid.  She told my best friend that she was so hurt she didn't hear it from me.  What was I supposed to do, call her up randomly (which I never do), and say, "Hey, just in case you think you're a bridesmaid, you're not."?  So now she's called me, and left a message saying she wants to chat.  What the heck am I supposed to say when she asks why she's not a bridesmaid?  Oh, and yes, she is the type to ask.

Short version: Not-so-close friend is hurt she isn't a bridesmaid.  I didn't give her a reason to believe she would be.  What do I say when she asks why?